I Have Drafts Of Poetry In My Phone I Won’t Ever Finish
I have drafts of poetry in my phone I won’t ever finish
Words I started writing when times were different
I won’t ever get to finish them because everything turned out different than the thoughts of the past anticipated it
Not better, not worse
But different
So I now have drafts of poetry in my phone that I can’t finish
Because out of all the “what ifs”, fate chose the one I was most scared of
And the words that were written in the past are to delicate to be burdened by destiny’s cruel choices of today
More Posts from Honestlywhatfor and Others
It’s about you
I miss you since the last time we spoke. I wish I could bury my head into your hoodie and get one of these hugs I’ve been missing so dearly. I wish I could see your smile, knowing that I’m the person who made you laugh...
There’s so much that I’m wishing for in the moment, but I just want you to know that every single wish that appears in my head is
only
about
you
Missing Home
And again
I am surprised
about how much
a person
can feel like home
even though
they once
made coming home
the worst part about your day
~ excerpts of me moving on ~
Sweet dreams
I’m laying here, awake. It’s the middle of the night and I don’t know how but I thought I heard your voice and so I woke up. Now I’m laying here, thinking. I don’t even know what it is about you, my heart loves so much. You’re great, but I don’t see why my heart thinks it’s okay to get broken day by day, instead of just letting go. I’m laying here, dreaming. Not of anything that has happened, but of everything that could still occur. Anything good, nothing of the bad stuff has a place in my dreams. At least not in the ones I’m dreaming when I’m awake. I’m awake, thinking and dreaming. I guess you’re asleep not dreaming about anything particular and when you wake up, your mind is clear. Maybe one day you’ll wake up and notice everything I’ve done for you and what you ignorant prick have put me through. But until then, sweet dreams L.
I can’t sleep
Every night when I can’t sleep, I imagine you laying right next to me. Your slow but steady breathing, your comforting warmth, your arms around me. I think back to the time when I would watch you sleeping, looking like a human being sent right from heaven itself. I always knew that you’d do the same in the morning when I’d still be asleep. I think back to when my head was placed on your chest and I felt like I could stay like that forever. In these moments all I wanted was to stop time right there so I’d never have to experience what it would be like without you in those sleepless nights.
Now you’re gone and my heart aches but I can’t help myself and still think of you whenever I can’t sleep.
Why am I like this
Sometimes I open tumblr because I feel like writing. And then I sit and stare at the blank canvas that longs to be filled by my thoughts but I just...can’t. I can’t. And it makes me angry. I want to write something, I need to write something, but trying to pin down the words that are constantly circling around my head makes me realize that I don’t have a f*vking clue.
I don’t know
Anything
I’m lost in my own mind and the longer I stare at the letters in front of me the harder it gets to come back up and breathe fresh air.
I don’t know
Anything
At all
And I can’t help but hate the words that make it onto the pages because they are not what I want them to be and they make me believe things that aren’t there and
Damn
I really don’t know
Anything
At all
Or at least that’s what this post makes me believe.
And maybe you’ll never quite understand what you did to me
And maybe I’ll have to live with that
And maybe...just maybe,
That will be okay
~ excerpts of me moving on ~
Finding beauty
I love the dark, but still
I’m the happiest when I feel the sun kissing my skin
I love warm weather, but still
there’s nothing compared to sitting on a sledge and rushing down a hill
I love my home, but still
breathing fresh air and hearing the birds chirping is what keeps me alive
I love being happy on my own, but still
I don’t want to go on this journey of happiness alone,
I want to share it with you
Life is full of “but still”s and there’s nothing wrong with that
As long as you can see the beauty in every single one of them
I realized that I don’t miss you
I don’t miss you
I miss the way we were when we were together
I miss being held
I miss being loved
I miss having a “us”
But not us in particular
Because we were wrong in so many ways
So no, I don’t miss you
I just miss having a you
~ excerpts of me moving on ~
