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Nursing a migraine right now

Chapters: 3/5 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Roy Harper & Koriand'r & Jason Todd, Roy Harper & Jason Todd, Koriand'r & Jason Todd, past Roy Harper/Koriand'r/Jason Todd, Past Dick Grayson/Roy Harper/Koriand'r, Roy Harper & Kon-El | Conner Kent & Koriand’r & Jason Todd, Barbara Gordon & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Minor or Background Relationship(s), (a lot of) additional past/speculated/implied relationships in author's note Characters: Jason Todd, Roy Harper, Koriand'r (DCU), Kon-El | Conner Kent, Barbara Gordon, Dick Grayson, Other Character Tags to Be Added Additional Tags: Future Fic, Crack, Humor, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Sexual Humor, ← debated that tag. the humor is from who has had sex with whomst not the sex itself, if that makes sense, Established Relationship, Established Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Past Relationship(s), Jason Todd's Morbid Humor, Jason Todd Swears, Swearing, No Incest, Implied Sexual Content, Everyone is Bisexual, Batfamily Shenanigans (DCU), Jason Todd-centric, Roy Harper Being a Little Shit, Koriand'r being a Little Shit

Summary:

hat-trick (noun) - the achievement of a generally positive feat three times in a match, or another achievement based on the number three.

“There’s plenty of people on two, sure,” Roy was saying. “Present company included. But three? No way.”

“Think about how many people have shared teams with them. If those other teams are anything like the Titans, someone surely has.” Kory’s tone was light, as if stating the obvious.

Jason ground his teeth and seriously considered the merits of another few hours in the supply closet.

Or: Roy, Kory and friends inflict immeasurable psychic damage upon one Jason Todd. If Jason has to hear another word about sex and his siblings uttered in the same breath, he’s gonna start shooting. Maybe himself. Anything to exit this conversation.

Chapter 3 Notes:

I am once again a lying liar who lies. This fic grew two extra chapters against my will. I don’t want to talk about it.

In other news…I used to think having two blorbos who don’t much like each other was a curse. This chapter taught me the error of my ways. Have fun!

At what point do I claim her as my OC

look i'm sorryyyyyyyy but....i am a sucker for "jason abandons the bats and joins the arrowfam". not even necessarily as a (romantic) jayroy thing; even if they really are just a strong platonic team-up, jason joining the arrowfam is PEAK.......

did i ever share coochie shot jason with you guys

Roy and Lian go away for a week and Jason gets lonely so he goes to one of CatWomans safe houses.

Selina walking in seeing a six foot beefy ass Jason playing with one of her kittens: Hey…

Jason: Sup

Selina: Is Roy out of town?

Jason petting the loudest orange kitten she has: Yeah how’d you know

I think that instead of being super apprehensive about Jason and him dating Roy, Oliver should take one look at him and then one look at Bruce and go oh, I'm about to be so annoying.

Oliver starts being so nice to Jason. So nice. Inviting him to family dinners. Giving him both his hero communications and personal phone number and telling him to call whenever he needs something. He gives him new tech and keeps updating his weapons and armor. He helps with missions and clean up and says nothing if Jason is a little rough, apart from patting him on the back and saying good job. He starts keeping his picture inside his wallet and has other pictures of Jason, Roy and Lian framed in the house and tells everyone about him. He starts calling him son-in-law first and then just son and then calls him a Harper and eventually a Queen.

At first it was just to annoy Bruce, but after the first time he tells Jason that he did a good job and Jason starts to tear up a little, Oliver goes oh no, oh I'm actually doing this now. This my boy now. I don't care if he and Roy break up or something, this is my boy now.

Bruce still thinks he's just doing it for the sole purpose of pissing him off, though, and he is so fucking mad. The Justice League meetings have turned into a Cold War zone.

Bruce starts to being so nice to Jason as well, forcing himself to ignore some of the more outrageous things Jason does, and Jason is so, so fucking confused.

Meows