YA Literature? You Mean Books About Super Special White Girl And Her Mysterious Brooding Boyfriend?

hey . hey does anyone remember "This is the way I talk. I'm sorry your father never taught you the meaning of the word repugnant. He was too busy smashing your head against the wall of your trailer while you apologized for being alive." yeah that was fucking wild

35 Portland Row

CW: Death, Suicide, Illness

Hey Guys,

I don't usually like to post a lot of personal stuff on this blog and barring a mention last year that I was laid off due to Covid, a lot has happened since. I got into a collision where a pick-up truck ran a red light and hit me permanently damaging my lumbar which has changed the future for me skill-wise and of course work-wise. I will eventually be able to return to my original job when the government allows my workplace to open again because they permit inter-departmental training so my hope is that I can do modified work while training to do a job that doesn't require me to haul heavy iron carts full of slot machine casettes to and from the back rooms. So I'm still laid off as of now, going to physiotherapy and hoping for the best.

Meanwhile these are two of many of my favourite pictures of my mom. Both she and my stepdad are and were survivors of the residential school program in Canada where the government was single-handedly responsible for generations of abuse both physical and psychological of hundreds of thousands of First Nations children, many of whom did not live to see present day. My mom has told me a lot of horror stories about her childhood in that program and the ways she had to protect herself to make it until she was let go to the years afterward as she watched many of her friends and peers die from addiction and/or suicide. With my stepdad, who she met at the school, she had found happiness and understanding. They would eventually start a small at-home pizza business on the reservation which was her main source of income for going on to three years now.

Last year in November she found my stepdad lying on their kitchen floor. He had passed away from a heart attack and only a few weeks after his passing she was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer.

I can't describe to you guys what it's been like watching her try to power through the grief from losing the love of her life, and endure all the doctor's appointments, biopsies, and invasive hospital visits but what I can tell you is that my time with her will always have been not enough and it hurts me to admit publicly that while my shitty dad never did want me to get to know her, I wasted too many years of my life believing the lies he and many others spoke about her. She is hard working, she is loving; she is generous, and she would have been the person who raised me with love if it weren't for the way Canada's laws work actively against Indigenous women being able to heal or survive the cyclical trauma that comes with being in this country. So as much as I can, I want to be there for her and help her and have more time with her.

Last month she went for a mastectomy and will be starting her chemotherapy in a couple weeks and while all this is happening, she has been unable to run her pizza business and was not even able to afford a headstone for her late husband. And of course, due to the pandemic, the headstone ceremony would not have been able to take place anyway. I am currently at a loss as to how I can be there for her during this time other than a gofundme I started to help her afford to travel out of her village for regular chemo, to pay her bills while she is alone and trying to build her life back together. What I'm basically asking is that if you have the ability to help my mom during this time, please donate to her gofundme and if you're not in a position to give, that is completely okay but I want to ask you guys just one favour, that you at least reblog this post. My hope is to be able to give her the good news that she doesn't have to worry about bills and the cost of living while she is going through treatment, that she can come back to her life without feeling like she has to start from zero all over again or even pick up the shambles that losing her husband has made her life feel like.

I appreciate all of you who've helped out already over the holidays and I will never forget what a kind community this has been and what that means to me. Thank you so much.

feel genuinely sick about these two

Hmmmm. My first post. What should I write.

I have no idea what I’m doing.

Let’s start with something season appropriate!

Fall is something else, huh. Most of the time I think I love it. Something about it is so magical, the air is crisp, the trees are beautiful, and the sky is a constantly changing tapestry. I like to sit at my desk infront of a window and watch the sky change.

On the other hand, something about it is really melancholy. It goes too fast, and those perfect moments where the air is charged with magic are fleeting. In a few weeks all of the trees will be bare, and then it’ll be almost a month before we get any real snow.

I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but I really like tumblr, and I figured I should have at least one post. Go easy on me guys, I’m kinda stupid.

weird unprompted opinion but i think out of all the storytelling mediums.....theatre best portrays loneliness

seduce me with ur history knowledge 

A little preview of a storyboarding project that I'll be posting later.

Scene is from The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater. The song is "Taimse Im' Chodladh" by Planxty.

Captions under the cut

[Slow air music plays in the background]

RONAN: I'm waiting for you to tell me what to do, Gansey. Tell me where to go.

GANSEY: We can't undo this. I can't undo it.

lucy & holly in the show

contains spoilers for season one of lockwood and co and the hollow boy

i’m curious how a second season of lockwood and co would develop lucy and holly’s dynamic given the differences in lucy’s character in the show and how she interacts with other women - a bunch of musings/rambling incoming.

(i adore both versions with my whole heart)

in the books a lot of lucy’s arc is unlearning her internalized misogyny (specifically the idea that girls cannot be both feminine and strong and her nlog tendencies). it’s done in a way i think is very thoughtful - her judgement of other woman is clearly born from an insecurity in her own femininity brought on by starting work very young and constantly being told being an effective agent is the only thing that should matter to her (i believe it’s her mother that tells her “pretty is not your profession”). she has a knee jerk resentment of holly and kat because of this, because if they *can* succeed in both being effective agents and traditionally feminine, that means that it is possible and she, lucy, is in some way lacking. all this coupled with a burgeoning attraction to lockwood and she’s suddenly hyper aware of and sensitive about all the ways she isn’t elegant or refined or graceful (and completely unaware of that fact that lockwood likes her because she’s lucy, and because she’s brave and kind and challenges him). it’s a really well done arc, and if i hadn’t known going in, i would’ve assumed the series was written by a woman based on how nuanced and empathetically its written (honestly major props and kudos to j stroud for that one).

this isn’t, however, an aspect of lucy’s personality in the show. she’s still judgmental, prickly, and very much *lucy*, but it isn’t pointed specifically at the other female characters in the same way (she snipes at flo, but not in a way that is different from how she snipes at kipps or george, and doesn’t single kat out at all). this change actually makes sense to me, largely because lucy in the show is supposed to be 16, as opposed to her book counterpart, who is 13/14 at the beginning of the series. the same arc would be harder to pull off, because so much of it is tied to the particular moment we meet her in the books, and would have made show lucy look immature in a way that is less understandable (not to mention that while lucy as a narrator only really describes herself through the lens of her insecurities, the shows audience can see that ruby stokes is quite conventionally attractive). they also spend more time in the beginning establishing a meaningful friendship between her and norrie, and her having an important female friend prior to holly would change their dynamic. however, for the plot of the hollow boy to work properly, we still need that conflict between holly and lucy, and while it could just be a case of there being resentment about lucy feeling replaced, i had a few thoughts of other ways it could be developed that might be interesting to explore with these versions of the characters.

lucy is hostile to holly because she is still dealing with what happened to norrie and on some level feels like making another female friend would be disloyal or replacing her in some way. in this scenario, they could tie in those voice recordings she’s been sending to norrie, and use the moment at the end when holly and lucy realize they had similar trauma to resolve the conflict. holly’s been in a similar situation and she can finally talk about norrie in a way she hasn’t been able to with lockwood and george. you could have moments where lucy and holly are getting along and lucy is somehow reminded of norrie and instantly shuts down/goes back to being very businesslike. i think this would make sense and feel true to lucy of the show while also fitting into the hollow boy really well.

lucy’s mother in the show is more explicitly abusive than in the books, and she could be hostile to holly because she thinks she’s trying to “mother” her in some way. book lucy has a decent if strained relationship with her family, and sisters she’s close to. show lucy, however, was both verbally and physically abused and forced to run away (side note: i can’t see show lucy visiting her family like in the book, but think it’d be really touching to have her go visit norrie in the hospital, which could also make her a lot more vulnerable emotionally when she and holly first meet). this one could play out in a similar way to the books, with the final resolution being a moment of lucy realizing holly is just a scared kid like her (maybe a nice callback to her line in season one about being scared all the time). i also like this one because it could get more into the trauma of the kids who are forced into leadership/parentified positions too young, and maybe also echo some of kipps’ arc as well.

the show’s characterization of joplin is a bit different than in the books, and given the guilt lucy harbors for how everything with george went down at the end of season one, she could be very touchy about anyone new joining the group and knowing anything about what they are doing. i could totally see her watching holly and george get along and getting very protective, in the process unintentionally making george feel like she doesn’t trust his judgement anymore (which could set up some of the same protective feelings that lead her to leave at the end of the hollow boy).

anyway these are just my ideas and i’d be curious to hear other people’s thoughts!

Listen up!

You see a post like this? Where OP might hurt/kill themselves? You hit that button that I circled

Hit that.

Click Suicide or Self-harm Concern

Yes.

Fill in the rest of it, and hit submit. The "content you reported" will fill itself in

Tumblr will follow up and help them.

Warning: this is only for mobile. If anyone knows how to do this for desktop, please add it!

This could SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE.

YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO REBLOG THIS.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF IT DOESN'T GO WITH YOUR BLOG'S THEME.

And yes, REBLOG. Liking does no shit at all. This isn't ig.

You reblog, people see it. You don't, people don't see it. This shit's that simple.

This could save someone's life. It's not a joke.