Tired. Exhausted. Overwhelmed. No One Wants To Front. It’s Hot And Muggy Out Today So The Body Is Disgusting

Agere community - when you make your DNI banners, what dimensions do you use? We’d like to make custom ones for our side blogs that want one!

Us, watching the hbomb Oof video:

Someone in headspace: HOW DARE TOMMY TALLARICO DISRESPECT MY JOJO BEANS?!

Today was one of the best days we’ve had in ages. We got chores done. Fen got to spent a lot of time with Maeve (her reborn), including setting up her new stroller! Our partner made a lovely lunch. We hung out with a new friend a little bit not long enough that we got over socialized. We got to watch tv with our partner - we’ve been getting through a season of Master Chef. The dogs have been very good. Fritzy was gifted a new dragon plush which meant a lot to him (he’s been having a tough time lately). We got a little high. We got back to a journal we haven’t used in ages that our QPP got for us that we’re using to work toward living more openly and authentically as a System. A big thunderstorm is rolling through right now and the dogs are just sleeping through it while an hbomberguy video plays softly in the background (it’s our go-to sleep video now).

Oop

me a few years ago: why do i feel like i just came into existence when i was 12 or 13? why do i not really remember my childhood very well? why do i have such a horrible memory in general? why do my identity and behaviors vary so drastically?

me now: oh

We’re rapid switching and blurry so we aren’t sure who is who in the following. So everyone is just “me”

THE TALE OF MOVING HOUSE: PART BATHROOM

Way Past Me: I will gather all the bathroom items in a handful of bags so it will be easier to get that room functional again quickly.

Past Me: I need more bags than I thought. I’ll need to empty a few. Good thing the bathroom stuff is all together! I’m going to dump it all INTO the bathtub so that I can’t avoid putting stuff away in here when I want to bathe.

Slightly Past Me: CURSE YOU, PAST ME. I JUST WANT TO BATHE BUT I HAVE TO PUT ALL THE BATHROOM STUFF AWAY FIRST.

Current Me: (in the bath, having plowed through everything in about a half hour) …Okay, Past Me. You win. That was smart.

We unfollowed them after they started calling another system on TikTok “cringe.” They’ve just gotten too messy so we wont be rewarding them with our attention anymore.

I’m so tired of seeing Aspen’s little fan base harassing people. You can be anti endo and NOT HARASS PEOPLE:

It’s not something funny to do at all.

And the fucking paranoia jokes. It’s fucked up. I do not understand why people support Aspen.

I get they use “I’m schizophrenic” as an excuse to use those “jokes” but they’re wrong to do and I would think that someone who deals with hallucinations and delusions from schizophrenia would understand the damage those jokes do.

If you agree with Aspen or just think what they do is absolutely hilarious and let them do whatever they want or support them, please do not interact with me.

I get that not every supporter will be bad, but I don’t want anything dealing with Aspen here. I’ve seen a joke from them that’s caused me distress and it’s upsetting to see that no one seems to hold Aspen accountable and just lets them do whatever.

Sure, I might be bashed, but at the same time, I refuse to support or interact with someone or a fan base that actively supports behavior like this.

It’s our birthday today. We turn 35. (Well, the body does. The majority of our headmates don’t really age right now. I don’t know if that will ever change.)

Birthdays are kind of complicated for us. We’re smooshed right up against Mother’s Day. That meant for a lot of our childhood, we were placed in situations with one of our major abusers. And as we have transitioned into adulthood, our inability to be a mother (parent in general) continues to be extremely painful for us. So it’s hard to feel celebratory on the day right after we have had so many conflicted emotions about celebrating and honoring our own mother and mourning the fact that we won’t ever be one ourselves.

But we’re going to try really hard to move past the weird feelings and celebrate ourselves this week. This WHOLE week. My planner is full of ways we can celebrate ourselves this week. And why it’s worth celebrating.

We’re gonna keep working on healing.

Because we deserve that.

I got Engineer!

I made a uquiz to find out what member of a doomed spaceship crew you are, take it to find out what member of a doomed spaceship crew you are.

Someone was panhandling at a stoplight I always get caught at today. And when I handed over the couple dollars in cash I had in my wallet to him and he thanked me, I realized something.

I wasn’t afraid at all.

I had to think back. Because there was a time when I was so unreasonably afraid of homeless people that I unintentionally taught my Sheltie to bark at them because I would get so stressed out if I even got stopped next to someone panhandling.

And that was when it hit me.

That fear isn’t mine. It’s a former host’s fear. And her fear was because if people she knew could hurt her the way they did, she couldn’t even imagine what a stranger might be able to do to her.

I empathize with her fear. But I’m glad that I don’t share it. It feels like growth. In some small way.