Me And My Homies Support Real Artists Who Put Their Passion Into Their Pieces Instead Of A Machine Who

wayne family adventures + text posts: batman edition

its my bisexual right to make superbat and batcat jokes in the same post. btw.

(batkids edition)

+bonus alfred (tw suicide joke)

I know Jason was dead-set on revenge and sticking it to Batman in UTRH but now I’m making myself sad thinking about a Jason who finally sees Bruce as Batman again after so many years, and he sees Nightwing and another Robin but he can’t hear them. For the first time ever, he’s not on their comm frequency. He’s locked out of Bruce’s quiet field orders and status checks. He can see Bruce but he can’t hear him. All he gets is the mask.

I ship it so hard

Even older Timkon art

Losing my mind but the prospect of Damian being so otherworldly beautiful and thriving at the face of catastrophe is so tragic to me idk why.

Like oouuughhhhh little boy how does it feel to look like the moon and the stars before you implode and your stardust gave birth to a new constellation???

Like baby boy my baby why are you the sole hope for humanity to exist and the key for peace and co-existence?? Little Damian did you know that your hands are the gentlest in the future where that would cost you?

How are you the embodiment of horror and all that is bad yet the symbolism of love itself?

Why are you in hell and looking up to heaven while cradling creatures of the fiery pits? What do you mean you found a companion in the shape of something you don't even know while laying in the midst of bloodshed of your own doing??

You are cruel yet so, so kind. You look at something so grotesque and decide to cradle its face with tenderness and care. You look at something so unlovable and decide to love it first.

Damian al-Ghul Wayne why are you so tragically beautiful when you're not supposed to?

nothing scarier than being a fan of a fic and then becoming mutuals with the author. like hi shakespeare. big fan of your fake dating au

Fascinating idea. I’m gonna play with that

immortality as theft (you have to steal life from something else) immortality as parasitism (there is something else inside You that is keeping you alive and you become less of yourself more and more the longer it stays in you) immortality as violence (everything is trying to kill you because everything is supposed to die and the universe will always try to find a way to right the wrong that is You) you understand

In tears

A non-comprehensive list of wrong words I've seen in fics:

Rogue and Rouge - very common in superhero fics

Offal and awful - only seen this twice, both in Harry Potter fics

Weary and Wary - to be WEARY is to be tired, worn out. To be WARY is to treat with suspicion.

Definitely and defiantly - I do this all the time and have to go back to fix it

Bare and bear - The character probably doesn't have a bear chest. Probably.

Passed and past - Also guilty of this one

Manner and manor - lots of Batman fics have this one

Bubble, bauble, bobble - I can't remember the fic but I saw all three of these used in a paragraph to describe Christmas ornaments

Dual and duel - Another common one for Harry Potter

Chord and cord - also weirdly common?

Scalding and scolding - Scalding hot, scolding voice

Loosing and losing - You can loose a knot but you lose a fight

Threesome and trio - I KNOW what the fic writer was trying to say but these days the two have very different connotations

Cryptid and cryptic - So often. SO OFTEN. Especially in Danny Phantom fics

Waste and waist - This always shows up in character descriptions and it transcends fandom

We all make mistakes but some of these are so common I actually googled to see if I was wrong XD

BEGGING Batman/Batfam ff authors to learn the difference between rouge and rogue. For my sake. Please. (I use a screen reader and it switches it into French half the time)

Hmmm good info for fic ideas

People who write Jason calling Sheila a bitch in his internal monologue don’t understand him I’m sorryyy. I don’t think he’s ever actually said a word against her in canon at the is point. He spent his last moments trying to protect her from the blast even after her betrayal. He is insane in ways you can’t even begin to fathom

What if after Jason's death, Alfred still found himself making food for that empty seat at the table

do you know. The stages of grief I went through after reading that. Hell, I INVENTED NEW STAGES. THIS IS NOT OKAY. WHAT KIND OF PERSON—

If there was one thing in Alfred’s life that he viewed as concrete, it was food. The smells of the kitchen in the early morning, before anyone but himself had woken, filled with sausage and toast. The sound of the oven’s timer going off, alerting him to the fact that he would soon be joined by the other occupants of the house. The slight breeze wafting through the only window he’d cared to open, allowing clear—or at least, as clear as could be found in Gotham—air through, into the house. 

   There was something . . . special about these moments. The time before anyone else had woken, when Alfred could be sure of his charges’ locations, sound asleep in their beds, and the fact that all would soon be sitting in front of him. Eating what he’d cooked, talking, acting as a family in ways it had taken them years to even attempt. 

   It was akin in feeling to the moment at dusk when the fires throughout the manor were low and Bruce could be found in his study, bent over a book. Where Jason, forever his father’s shadow—

   Well, he would—

   Alfred supposed that Bruce would be reading alone, now. Or perhaps not reading at all. None could blame the man if that were the case. The library, in recent years, had become Jason’s much in the way that the kitchen was Alfred’s. An unofficial rule, but a rule nonetheless. A silent promise that the space was theirs to maintain, to hide in, to control and enjoy as they saw fit. It was a unanimous understanding that, were you to enter, you were entering Jason’s space. 

   Alfred would not be surprised if the doors to the library didn’t open again. 

   It brought him pain unparalleled to think of that. To picture Jason’s favorite books, still lying on the table, covered in dust brought not by forgetfulness but by remembrance too strong to bear. To imagine Jason’s chair, pulled across the room to stand next to Bruce’s—though Jason would have denied—gone unused, left in the shadows of the curtains no one had drawn back in months. 

   Jason had always hated the dark. When entering the library, his first action would be ensuring that the fireplace was bright and the curtains held back, allowing for whatever light the day produced to stream into the room. 

   The easy explanation for this could have been Jason’s personality—bright and clear as the sunlight, and as warm as the fireplace. 

   Alfred Pennyworth had never been one to reach for the easy explanations. No, he’d worked hard to never be blind to the truth—and the truth, in this situation, was that Jason Todd was afraid of the dark. Afraid in a way that could only ever have been a result of past experiences. In a way that spoke of alleyways during the night and electricity bills gone unpaid. 

   It had been a week into Jason’s living with them that the elderly butler had deduced this, and less than a day after that, Jason’s room had possessed no less than three new light sources, two of which were nightlights. Jason had never mentioned it, but Alfred had read the boy’s gratefulness in the way he’d smiled as he’d helped prepare breakfast the very next morning.

   Preparing meals with Jason at his side had been an honor Alfred would not find the likes of again. To watch the boy go from a silent, timid thing to the grinning, confident teen he—that he’d been later in life. 

   Earning that boy’s trust had been and would forever be one of the greatest achievements of Alfred’s life. He would never be able to think of his kitchen the same, after it had been graced with Jason’s presence. He saw the boy’s touch in the labels, scrawled in a young hand, placed upon the unmarked spices. In the smaller apron that hung beside his own, colors the familiar red, yellow, and green of the Robin uniform. In the boxed macaroni and cheese that occupied the pantry, waiting to be doused in barbecue sauce for . . . 

   It was a comfort food of Jason’s, barbecue pasta. Something Alfred would never have thought to make until that boy had shyly suggested it one of those very first months. Now it was one of the most commonly-made dishes in the manor, if only because Alfred enjoyed the smile it had put on Jason’s face. 

   Another one of the young master’s comfort foods was—had been—orange juice. 

   Alfred knew logically that the reason for this was his previous poverty. That he’d seldom had orange juice as a child, resulting in a love for it later on in life when it was easily available. That was the logical conclusion.

   The one he found himself holding closer to his chest, though, was that orange juice was one of the very first things he’d ever given the boy—accompanied with a large breakfast, yes, but Jason had taken only the juice. 

   What was it about him that made Alfred so illogical? So willing to turn to emotion rather than truth? Was it that, when faced with a boy who’s emotions had so obviously been both the last rope holding him together and the knife ripping him apart, to fight fire with fire had been the only option? To meet Jason’s anger with kindness and his fear with comfort? Or was it that, after years of watching Dick become distant and Bruce forsake emotion for the mission, Alfred had become tired with such apathy?

   Was it, perhaps, that Alfred had taken one look at a scared, lonely boy and decided, I will not allow the same fate to befall him as has the previous two?

   It didn’t work, did it, a cruel part of his mind pointed out. In the end, you changed nothing—because it was always going to end this way.

   Hugging Jason more often than he had Dick, while wonderful, hadn’t changed anything in the end, had it?

   Alfred had done everything he could to stray Jason from the path set before him, and yet he had ended up in the ditch anyway. Bloody, broken, gone.

   Gone from the family. Gone from life. Gone from the mansion. Gone from his library . . . and gone from Alfred’s kitchen. 

   Alfred wondered how many more losses he could take before the kitchen started to feel more like a shrine to the dead rather than a refuge for the living. 

   It had already started to show, that transition. He could see it now, as he returned from setting the table to find the eldest of his charges standing in the doorway—watching. Silent, still, and dead in all but heartbeat.

   Hesitation should never have been the emotion a Wayne was met with when entering the kitchen, especially Bruce Wayne. And yet Alfred could read it all over the man’s face. 

   He, one who so often hid his face behind masks of indifference or stupidity or cruelty, was saying so openly Alfred found it in every line of his eyes, Am I allowed here?

   Alfred almost sighed. He didn’t, though, because giving a sound to the feeling coursing through his chest would have given it a tangibility he was not ready to allow. “Have a seat, Master Bruce.”

   Bruce was silent as he walked forward, pulled out a chair and did as he was told. Not a moment later, the middle—youngest—of Alfred’s charges appeared and, glancing at Bruce, did the same.

   “Did you sleep well, Master Dick?” The words felt mechanical in Alfred’s mouth, though no one would tell from the sound of them. 

   “I . . .” Dick trailed off, voice cracking halfway through, and Alfred didn’t turn. If something were truly wrong, he trusted that Bruce would handle it. 

   Instead, he plated the last of the blueberry scones, gathered the jams and brought them to the table. 

   Silence was awash through the room. Alfred could have sworn that neither Bruce nor Dick were breathing. 

   “I was unsure of your schedules today,” he said idly as he worked to place the scones within reach of both men. “So I prepared both heavy and light options for you to choose from.”

   “Alfred.”

   Alfred paused, abandoning the butter knife he had been situating in the jam, and looked at Bruce. 

   Bruce’s face was pale, his eyes dark with a pain Alfred would recognize anywhere. He’d learned to recognize it over two decades before and had not forgotten it since then. 

   “Master Bruce, what—”

   “You set—there are one too many plates, Alfred.”

  Alfred frowned, slightly insulted at the insinuation. He had been making breakfast for the occupants of the manor for years, and he had placed more table settings in his life than he could count. 

   “You made a plate for Jason, Alfie.” Dick’s voice was hoarse with pain. 

   Alfred’s breath hitched. Straightening, he re-examined the table—but he already knew what he would find.

   “It seems I have.”

   Bruce’s eyes were everywhere but the plate. They seemed glued to Alfred’s cheek, unable to reach his gaze. What was it, Alfred wondered, that he so feared finding there? Anger? Blame? Grief? Pain? “You . . . It’s fine, Alfred. Don’t . . . Just leave it.”

   Did he mean to ‘just leave it’, or ‘don’t just leave it’, Alfred wondered distantly as he stared at the plate. It was unused, of course—clean, and placed next to a fork, a butter crock, and . . . a cup of orange juice. 

   It was such an unassuming thing.

  No one would look at it and think, perhaps it shouldn’t exist.

   “I . . .” Alfred Pennyworth, former special forces, capable of crimes beyond the comprehension of even the Batman, found that his voice would no longer work. Because his throat had closed up or because he had no words to speak, he was unsure. All he knew was that his voice, usually the pillar with which he displayed his conviction, his strength, was gone. In the face of a mere plate.

   “Alfie?” Dick sounded young. Younger than he had in years, and so unsure for it.

   For once, Alfred could not bring himself to care.

   “I need a moment,” the butler said abruptly. “Excuse me, sirs.”

   And before either Bat could protest, he had fled the room.

   When he came back hours later, heart calmed not with peaceful breathing but with a chest so hollow that the beats were nothing but echoes, he found the orange juice gone. 

   It was a painful sort of relief that revelation brought, because he wasn’t sure he would have had the heart to pour it out himself.