New Year's Day Is My Comfort Song The Moment I Find The Live Audio I Am Listening To It Nonstop And Crying

the bad thing about writing is that sometimes you just want to read something super specific and when it is nonexistent you think: fuck. now it is my job to write it.

No one warned me that coming into your own also includes grieving the life you were conditioned to believe you wanted.

Today I explained why I can't really travel to Florida right now to my dad & watching him get increasingly frustrated with the realization that Transphobia Exists was honestly something else.

him: "well if you're not allowed to use the men's bathroom, just go to the women's! that'll show them."

me: "yeah but I'm just as likely to have the cops called on me for 'using the wrong bathroom' in there. have you seen me lately?"

him: "but if one of the options is wrong and not allowed then the other one has to be the right option. what do they want you to do?"

my grandma, helpfully: "I think they want trans people to not go to Florida"

my dad: spluttering frustratedly

me: "I think the thing is that you are more logical and reasonable than Ron DeSantis."

the face of a semi-reformed(?) conservative when realizing with dawning horror that laws can be unfair on purpose is truly special tbh

I can't believe the eras tour is over. I really want to thank everyone for listening to the audios I made for this tour, I never imagined so many people would care about my little passion project to collect all the live versions of the surprise songs. This has been an amazing journey to go on with all of you <3 <3 <3

people who only use conventional social media are so funny bc they’ll casually be like “can I see your tumblr??” are you Insane. this is no instagram or twitter. this is my vault of secrets

I love this and Irma

There’s a regular at the fabric superstore. She’s at least 80 years old, and she just got back into sewing after giving it up for 40 years. We’ll call her Irma.

I love Irma.

Irma is constantly surprised by the newfangled sewing gadgets our store sells. Today she bought some extra-fine glass-head pins and a magnetic pincushion. As I’m ringing her purchases up, she tells me very seriously, “did you know, if you’re careful, you can sew RIGHT OVER those pins? You don’t need to take them out!”

I told her that I liked that you can’t accidentally melt the head of the glass pins with your iron, and she nodded. “They used to all be like that, but times changed.”

I love old sewing machines and asked what kind of machine she has, and she goes, “Oh, it’s an old Singer Featherweight that my husband bought me when we were first married. It’s probably not worth anything anymore, but the thing sews fine. Have you seen the ones those girls over there–” indicating the sewing machine sub-store in my location “–have? Those things go in every direction and the needle always comes to the top when you stop sewing! Imagine how handy that is!”

I mention that I used to sew on my grandmother’s Featherweight but now there’s a intra-family war about who owns Grandma’s Featherweight and so no one gets to use it. It’s genuinely the best portable straight-stitch machine I’ve ever used.

I warn her to never let anyone tell her that Featherweight isn’t worth something. “I know, I miss my husband and it’s always going to have a place in my heart, just like your grandma’s.”

“I mean, Irma, there’s that, but they’re also worth a really notable amount of money. The Singer Featherweight is really financially valuable. I almost never see them for sale around here for less than about $400, and that’s in bad condition.”

“It’s a good thing my husband’s dead, honey, because if you told him that he managed to buy a sewing machine that’s worth more in 2021 than he bought it for in 1950, well, he’d be so smug that I just wouldn’t be able to tolerate driving home with him.”

This has been living rent free in my head since 2020 and I need a place to put it so I guess I'll put it here:

The golden gates are falling down keeping me away

The red and fire are calling out to me

I've tried to escape this realm of hurt and conflicting feelings

The answer's always just out of reach

hunger games advertising goes hard as usual but unfortunately this confirms that i’ve been pronouncing every single name in this book incorrectly

And then there was one (1989 song left)