This Has Been Living Rent Free In My Head Since 2020 And I Need A Place To Put It So I Guess I'll Put

No one warned me that coming into your own also includes grieving the life you were conditioned to believe you wanted.

the bad thing about writing is that sometimes you just want to read something super specific and when it is nonexistent you think: fuck. now it is my job to write it.

I think Matty Healy is awful but I’m still proud of Taylor putting “but daddy I love him” on the record.

There are songs on the album about her realising he love bombed her and manipulated her. Realising she fell for all of it, she was never going to fix him, and he was never going to be her saviour. She is scathing towards him, but also towards herself for falling for it. She could have left it at that and maybe copped less criticism. Instead she acknowledges the backlash and the defiance she felt in that moment.

It makes me feel the same way her putting Ours on Speak Now does. Grateful that she is open to sharing her stories even when the muse isn’t deserving of the words she wrote, even when releasing it fans the fires of the “I told you so” crowd.

And much like Ours is not a defence of Mayer, BDILH is not an acquittal of Healy. The phrasing she uses is not “he’s a good man they just don’t know him like I do”, it’s “I’m not coming to my senses” “I’d rather burn my whole life down”. The message of the song is not her trying to convince you he’s a good person (he’s not), it’s about a woman stumbling through a crisis and her desperate need to be able to make her own decisions, and that includes her own mistakes - which she seems to be acknowledging Matty was.

just found out that stoats hunt twice the size of them like rabbits by aggressively and eccentrically dancing around it with their little slinky rigatoni bodies so it can confuse the absolute fuck out of its prey until it can get close enough to jump on its back like some shadow of the colossus shit and take it down

Can we talk about the cover for a second? Do you remember how she said she specifically chose the picture where she wasn't smiling because she didn't want to give away the album or have people form an opinion on it based on the cover and the mysterious one was better? But now with her own version she's full on smiling with her whole face shown, hair blowing in the wind and she looks so joyful and free.

i just have this persistent feeling of “i’m not doing enough” combined with “i don’t have the energy to do anything” and it just really fucking sucks

I SWEAR TO GOD IF WE DON'T GET 1989TV

the problem with reading and writing leading to a strong vocabulary is that you tend to know the vibe of words instead of their meanings.

if I used this word in a sentence, would it make sense? absolutely. if you asked me what it meant, could I tell you? absolutely not.

Of course I know what I'm doing, I'm a writer! (Hurriedly patching a massive plot hole with duct tape and pins)