Let this millennium vow resound to your side
Even if I can’t return to being a spirit
I won’t be swaying from this decision I’ve made anymore
“I am in love with you”
sometimes we get stuck in situations/mistakes of the past that do not allow us to move forward in our path and distance us even more from our goals. we think that it is not easy to get out of difficult situations and of course, it is not, because we have that thought, but we can do it. the most important thing is that we must know that no one external is going to help us in this, only us. there are many people who have been going to therapy for years and it doesn't help them because they don't do their part, they continue to live in the past and have a bad image of themselves. ask yourself, do you deserve this? do you deserve to continue in this situation? is it doing you any good? whatever situation you are in, no matter how difficult you think it may seem, you have to understand that it is your perception of how things happen, if you change that perception your world will change. if you are still in the negative, do you really think it is worth it? you probably believe that there is no other way, that life is cruel or hard, but i repeat, it is all part of the perspective in which we look at the world and the things that happen to us. so the first step you have to take is to open yourself to change.
get out of the role of victim, you are responsible for your actions, but don't blame yourself, at that time you were not aware of everything you know how to heal yourself. always take responsibility for yourself. if something someone else does bothers you, you have the power to take it away from them.
overcome the past, don't worry about the future, and live in the now. the past no longer exists and your future is not yet created, be aware that if you continue with negative thoughts you will continue to attract negative situations to your life, but on the contrary, if your thoughts become more positive and your way of life changes everything will improve, i guarantee it.
related to the previous point, do shadow work, write in a diary or wherever those situations that hurt you and let them go, they no longer resonate with you and are not part of the person you want to be.
start creating yourself from 0, think again about how you would like to be and what path you would like to take from now on, leave behind all those habits that no longer benefit you, and focus on the things that make you well.
cut with toxic environments, do not keep talking to people who make you bad and you know they are not good for your growth, those who always criticize you or make you less.
change your internal dialogue and negative thoughts. what is it that makes you think this way? whatever it is, you must stop giving power to those thoughts that haunt you and make you feel bad. every time you detect a negative thought say "stop" and change it for a positive one. if you constantly repeat to yourself that you are worthless, repeat to yourself i am enough, i am more than enough, i can do anything. you also have the option to repeat affirmations or write them on a piece of paper.
change your mentality towards life, stop thinking that it is hard, bad or unfair, think the opposite, that you are a very lucky person, that everything always goes well for you, that life is wonderful, that everything is wonderful in your life, that you are surrounded by good things! do not focus on the negative, because what you focus on expands, whether it is bad or good.
be grateful, either by being aware of where you are, be thankful for everything you have overcome, for every little thing in your day-to-day life, and be proud of yourself too!
new habits, change your lifestyle and incorporate healthier habits into your life little by little. start eating better, start having a schedule, start exercising, start an activity you always wanted to do, learn to spend time alone, and get to know yourself. focus on this, it will keep you motivated and entertained throughout your day.
don't react to what bothers you, ignore it and focus on those things that are beneficial to you, don't put energy into situations you can't control.
understand the difficult situations as proof, thanks to that today you are a stronger person and you have learned something new that will help you in the future.
practice meditation, it will help you focus on the present moment and keep you much more focused on your goals, it will also help you relax your mind and body in stressful situations. make meditation a daily habit in your life.
start your journey of self-love from here, understanding that you are a valuable person and that whatever happened to you in the past doesn't matter anymore, let it go, and focus on all the good things that life has and that you are about to create.
BPD Acceptance & Awareness Flag
While there is a popular black and white BPD flag, I wanted to create one with more colour to show the depth of BPD. I was inspired by the NPD Awareness Flag by npdsafe, and the alternate NPD flag by npdflag to make this. I followed the amount of stripes the NPD flag has as to show solidarity between cluster B disorders.
(#000000) Black: Duality, Emptiness, and Support —
Black and White both represent the duality of BPD. Along with that, black represents feellings of being void, hollow and emptiness. It also represents support for people with BPD.
(#711f49) Purple-Red: Negative Intense Emotions —
Purple-Red, Dark Magenta, represents intense negative emotions, both internal and external. This includes overwhelming feelings of rejection, feelings of abandonment, anger, and more.
(#e24069) Pink-Red: Positive Intense Emotions —
Pink-Red, Lipstick Pink, represents intense positive emotions, both internal and external. This includes feelings of europhoria, love, healing, wellbeing, and more.
(#d6cce8) Light Lavender: Fear and Dissociation —
Light Lavender, Haze, represents fear, fear of abandonment, paranoia, dissociation, loss of sense of identity, feeling out of touch with reality, derealisation, and depersonalisation.
(#ada1d3) Dark Lavender:Solidarity and Remembrance. —
Dark Lavender, Periwinkle, represents solidarity between people with BPD and other cluster B disorders. It also serves as a reminder of the different ways BPD presents itself in different people. It also serves rememberance of those with BPD who have passed away.
(#ffffff) White:Duality and Recovery —
White and Black both represent the duality of BPD. Along with that, white represents recovery, and that people with BPD are not hopeless.
[NPD]
Creating this has made me realise just how much people underestimate/downplay the stigma surrounding BPD. It’s infuriating.
Anyway, here is the official resource masterlist for BPD. I will be adding to it as time goes on:)
BPD stigma
BPD stigma among clinicians
I have BPD and here’s 6 things I wish people understood
Mental health advocacy is pointless if you’ll support people with anxiety and depression but won’t support those with personality disorders
No I don’t need helping learning how to deal with a “borderline girlfriend”, I need help dealing with myself
Emotional abuse tag and BPD
The results when searching up how to manage BPD
BPD and suicide
Educating yourself on BPD
Basic info on BPD
NPD + BPD comorbidity
Why is it referred to as ‘borderline personality disorder’?
Facts vs. fiction about BPD
Living with BPD
BPD things that people don’t talk about enough
Loving with BPD is hard
Living, breathing, BPD
What it’s like living with BPD: a lived experience perspective
Managing BPD
Coping With BPD: DBT & CBT skills to soothe the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder
The dialectal therapy skills workbook
A quick exercise: challenging self-hate
Different forms of therapy
Deep breathing gifs
Splitting with BPD
Chloe’s splitting checklist and reminders
What is splitting?
How I cope with splitting (written by someone with BPD)
BPD positivity so you don’t have to go looking
People with low/no empathy still have feelings
Several positive affirmations for people with cluster b disorders
If you have BPD, I love you
Some of the best people in my life are borderlines
You’re not a monster for having a personality disorder
So much love to my BPD bi boys out there
Positivity for systems with BPD
Positive traits of people with BPD
People with BPD deserve as much slack as neurotypicals
BPD safe blogs (also safe for cluster b disorders in general!)
@borderline-culture-is
@bpd00m
@citrine-rabbit
@cluster-b-culture-is
@gentle-positivity
@hellbrainspeaks
@your-fave-is-crippled
@mirroringshards
Today russia hit subway station in Kyiv, Ukraine.
sometimes I just get so sick and tired of fighting just to survive.
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On this day, 10 years ago, russian occupation forces, namely the "Oplot" brigade, in an act of terrorism, fired a Grad missile at a Ukrainian checkpoint near Volnovakha when there was a passenger bus. Twelve Ukrainian civilians were killed, and 18 were injured. Russia never admitted guilt or paid for the crimes, the consequences and continuation of which we see today.
This story is more personal for me because I was on that same bus earlier that day, heading from Donetsk city to Volnovakha. If, for some reason, I’d decided to return that day, I could have been one of the victims.
I had to pass by the remnants of the bus a few days later, which was horrifying. Subconsciously, I was expecting this to happen again, only this time to the bus I was in. It didn’t, and I’m still here. Although drones flying above my roof remind me every day that it could be any of us, any time, as long as russia exists.
It wasn’t even the only terrorist act by Russia that felt too close to me. But I’ve talked about this before.
Anyhow, later they completely isolated the russian-controlled (annexed) part of the Donetsk oblast from the rest of Ukraine, banning public transport (like these buses) at first and then essentially banning even smaller private mini-buses, allowing only cars through the checkpoints (to profit from bribes). Then, when covid happened, they banned all civilian movement through the checkpoints, allowing it only with special passes that were impossible to get. So Ukrainians, born and raised in Ukraine, to travel from one Ukrainian (illegally occupied by Russia) city to another, would have to go through russia... if they could.
The world didn't care then - when they were killing us, separating families, isolating us, re-educating, forcing us to get russian citizenships, etc. Now, ten years later, they’re doing the same things on a much bigger scale. If Ukraine falls, they will move forward. They will never stop.
Cluster Bs.. I love you. Do you know how awesome you are?? HPD peeps.. so flamboyant and interesting. And talented!! I'm legit jealous of how well you command a room. And your style? OMG. Amazing. And BPD babes... so full of feeling. Your emotional range is astounding. And your profound ability to love, even if only briefly.. the stuff of legends... song... poetry. NPDs... your confidence, your flair, your sense of humor... just magical. But even more impressive is how you know what you want.. and you get it! So admirable. If only everyone could be so bold! ASPD homies, your detachment and aloofness is so, so cool. You are smart and fascinating... and anyone who is lucky enough to be seen as worthy of your time is truly blessed. Your logic is unparalleled. And you give the best advice. And your taste in art and music is incredible.
I know the world only wants to focus on your negative traits, your flaws, your weirdness. Your "diagnostic criteria." It's unfair. You're so much more than that. You are more than the sum of your worst moments. You're so much greater than all the mistakes you've made while you were suffering alone and unsupported.
Just remember. You are the light and the darkness. Yin and yang. The whole human package. The whole human experience. You are... complete.
I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you exist. You truly make this world a richer, fuller, better place.
Never forget that.
i personally think the reason why so many people struggle to like guren is bc he’s v representative of humanity. of us. how many of us could honestly say we wouldn’t sacrifice everything for our family of choice? what makes guren hard to like is that he forces to confront this “less moral” side of all of us because he does. he sacrifices the world, the entire human race, to get his squad, his family back.
it’s cute when yuu says it for mika bc we’ve seen their characters as children, but we’re first introduced to guren as an adult. he’s 24 in vampire reign, and since that’s how he’s first introduced, he sticks in our heads best at this age. we forget that he was 16 when he lost shinya, sayuri, mito, goshi, and shigure⎯the same age yuu was when he chose mika over the world (kind of. they’re working on a plan, but it’s pretty obvious that if it comes down to it, he absolutely would choose mika over everyone.) but because we’re used to seeing guren as an adult and a high ranking military officer, there’s this expectation that he’s responsible enough to not make that kind of decision.
and yet, we watch him continue to make those decisions to bring back humanity without losing his family, because that’s his modus operandi. at the end of the day, there’s is no one more important to him than his family.
and honestly, how many of us can truly say we wouldn’t have done the same thing in his place?
(i’d also like to point out that i was around 14 when i first found the series and caught up on everything⎯i didn’t like guren v much the first time around and thought he was honestly, quite annoying. at 19, and a whole pandemic later, i think i understand where he’s coming from. he’s quite brilliantly written in that way, the definition of “you’ll understand when you’re older.”)
Books and things to read:
Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Aimed at providers but apparently super great for self-help too
How Do You Develop Whole Object Relations as an Adult? by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Tips on how to stop seeing yourself and other people as only either all-good or all-bad
10 Stages in the Treatment of Narcissistic Disorders by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Goes through the stages of treating NPD
Rethinking Narcissism by Dr. Craig Malkin - A book about promoting healthy narcissism instead of unhealthy narcissism
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders by Dr. Daniel Fox - what it says on the tin. May be best done guided by a therapist
Shame in patients with narcissistic personality disorder PDF - What it says on the tin.
Narcissus and the Daffodils - an essay about NPD by someone with NPD. Probably the best description I’ve ever seen
Things to watch and listen to:
Recovery FOR the Narcissist by Dr. Eric Perry - A compassionate podcast to provide insight, support, and encouragement to anyone who exhibits narcissistic tendencies. Very in-depth
Early Morning Barking - A YouTube channel by someone with BPD and NPD about coping with and educating people on BPD and NPD. He also has a Recovery from NPD by Dr. Todd Grande - A video about this provider’s experience with helping people recover from NPD
Misc:
Narcissism Self Help Therapy website - A daily program for people with NPD (may have some triggering aspects in Part 2 of the program)
NPD Safe carrd resources - More resources for NPD (I have not gone through all of these so I don’t know how good they are)
NPD Recovery Comics by The Ego System - A bunch of fantastic comics about recovering from NPD.