Narcissism/NPD Recovery Resources, Because There’s Like Nothing Good Out There

NPD Resources Masterlist

The official resources masterlist for NPD. Includes all the links I've shared in the past and stuff I haven't.

Any posts I've linked about supporting those with NPD have been put in the misc section because I do not want to take away from what this post is really about, which is helping people with NPD, not the people around them.

Diagnostic criteria

NPD diagnostic criteria, rewritten by someone who has it

Official diagnostic criteria

An explanation of the diagnostic criteria

Recovery resources FOR the narcissist

NPD recovery resources

How to find therapy for NPD, common types of therapy and signs of an abusive/toxic therapist

Narcissist supply

What is narc supply?

Things that can give a narcissist supply

NPD stigma

The perception of NPD symptoms vs. how a narcissist might actually experience them

Why those with NPD have a hard time seeking help (spoiler alert: it's not because they're unaware)

A plea from someone with NPD (and some resources debunking common misconceptions)

Narcissism is not abusive / abuse is abusive

Debunking common myths on NPD

Common disproven myths about NPD

Miscellaneous

How to support someone with NPD

NPD Carrd (What is NPD, dpt skills and self-help)

Unravelling the connection: npd as a trauma response

NPD terminology (do's and dont's)

NPD safe blogs

@empath-abuse-awareness

@enigma-in-reality

@loverofmirage

@narcissisticpdcultureis

@nicepersondisorder

@theegosystem

@mischiefmanifold

NPD positivity so you don't have to go looking

Reblog to kiss a narcissist on the forehead

Reblog to tell your local narcissist that they're the best ever

Happy NPD appreciation day

Positivity for systems with NPD

Be normal about narcissists unless it's to give them love

NPD should be EPD (Epic Personality Disorder)

Of course I have a praise kink, I have NPD

Narcissists are so beautiful and handsome and wonderful

Positivity for narcissists who like sex

I love my narcissists

Aromantic narcissists are amazing

Narcissists I love you

Easy ways to spot a narcissist (it's not what you think <;3)

Narcissists deserve to be loved

As usual, if something needs to be deleted because it's wrong/comes from a toxic author/etc. please let me know. I tried to look on Google but all I found was ableist shit, so these are all found by your fellow narcissists on tumblr :)

Edit: If you have any resources, please send them to me through an ask or DM and i'll check it out/add it!

「it's daylight again, and you

look like i've failed you 」✧✦

Bpd related question:

(Ik I'm sorry, I should stop asking but...)

Can you please list bpd symptoms? Because I want to write that tracker but I forgot like half of the things which are bpd criteria and which are things everyone is experiencing...

Thank you (and sorry for bothering you)

-☆

Sure thing, no need to apologize, you aren't bothering us!! /g

Idolizing/devaluing

Splitting

Black & white thinking

Dissociation

Paranoia or delusions

SH and related things (i think that mental self harm counts too) (i.e., replaying bad memories to upset yourself, purposely triggering yourself, etc.)

Impulsive or reckless behavior

Mood swings

Chronic emptiness & boredom

Extreme anger

Inherent sense that you're "bad" or "evil"

Those are some of the main ones i think are both worth tracking and can be relatively easier to track as opposed to other symptoms. I hope this helps some :0!!!

- 🧨+🪶

Narcissists, I love you. I love you. I love you.

You don't need to have energy to deserve anyone's love.

You don't need to be kind to deserve anyone's love.

You don't need to be smart to deserve anyone's love.

You don't need any talent to deserve anyone's love.

You don't need to love any way to deserve anyone's love.

You deserve it now. As you are. Unconditionally.

Revised Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder

(designed by me, open to thoughts and commentary. this isn't an official revision, seeing as I'm not a contributor to the DSM. rather, the intent is to clarify the wording and produce a version that is less subjective and ambiguous.)

‎

The essential features of a personality disorder are impairments in personality (self and interpersonal) functioning and the presence of maladaptive traits. To diagnose narcissistic personality disorder, the following criteria must be met:

A. Significant impairments in personality functioning manifest by:

1. Impairments in self functioning (a or b):

a. Identity: Excessive reference to others for self-definition and self-esteem regulation; exaggerated self-appraisal may be inflated or deflated, or vacillate between extremes; emotional regulation mirrors fluctuations in self-esteem.

b. Self-direction: Goal-setting is based on gaining approval from others; personal standards are unreasonably high in order to see oneself as exceptional, or too low based on a sense of entitlement; often unaware of own motivations.

AND

2. Impairments in interpersonal functioning (a or b):

a. Empathy: Impaired ability to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others; excessively attuned to reactions of others, but only if perceived as relevant to self; over- or underestimate of own effect on others.

b. Intimacy: A sense of detachment in relationships; higher levels of emotional withdrawal associated with larger degrees of closeness; a tendency to focus on all aspects of the relationship except for the feelings and experiences of the other, unless perceived as relevant to self

B. Maladaptive traits characterized by an attempt to protect oneself from potential criticism, and from mistreatment or general life dissatisfaction associated with criticism, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

1. Grandiose sense of self (e.g., believes that they are inherently more powerful or capable than others in some way and may place an enormous pressure on themself to measure up to this self-image, believes that they are uniquely bad or inferior in some way, may struggle with paranoia due to an over-estimation of effect on others)

2. Attempt to regulate emotions and self-esteem through fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love, while avoiding real-life situations that conflict with this internal narrative

3. Association with or avoidance of people, groups, or institutions based upon an attempt to gain admiration or avoid criticism

4. Seeks out admiration in an attempt to regulate mood; may struggle with self-destructive behaviors (i.e., isolation, impulsivity, self-punishment, overexertion, etc.), intensely unpleasant emotions, or lack of motivation when they don't feel admired

5. An expectation of automatic agreement or compliance associated with feelings of security, i.e., an expectation that others will automatically agree or comply with them followed by confusion or distress if these expectations are unmet, attempts to attain closeness with others via agreeing and complying with everything the other person wants, or attempts to get the other person to agree and comply with everything they want

6. Periods of intense boredom or dissatisfaction resulting from a lack of connection with others; an attempt to regulate these emotions through material pursuits, personal gain, or self-destructive behaviors

7. May miss social cues or struggle with self-awareness due to a lack of empathy or a preoccupation with their self-image

8. Frequent comparisons to others, often followed by bitterness towards self or others for perceived differences in likability

9. Difficulties in emotional and behavioral regulation in response to perceived criticism or slights, as characterized by one (or more) of the following:

Fight response (e.g., intense anger towards self or others, self-punishment, hostility, destructive behavior)

Flight response (e.g., isolation, avoidance of the source of perceived criticism, frantic attempts to distract self)

Freeze response (e.g., brain fog, dissociation, major drops in motivation, not addressing or resolving the situation)

Fawn response (e.g., over-apologizing, heavily internalizing the perceived criticism, preoccupation with seeking approval or assurance)

C. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are relatively stable across time and consistent across situations.

D. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not better understood as normative for the individual's developmental stage or socio-cultural environment.

E. The impairments in personality functioning and the individual's personality trait expression are not solely due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., severe head trauma).

‎

Changes I made and why:

1: Re-wrote the section for intimacy in 2B. Its original wording didn't address the actual problem present within the disorder, and instead focused on how others might perceive the symptom.

In people who have a history of trauma or who were otherwise denied the opportunity to form safe and healthy connections with others, it's a natural defense mechanism to fixate on oneself within a relationship:

Preoccupation with how they're perceived by the other person (Subconscious conditioning: Are they about to hurt me for something they dislike about me? If so, how can I change myself or their viewpoint of me to protect myself?)

Positive feelings, and feelings of closeness, prompted by feeling adored (Subconscious conditioning: We're all born with the need for human connection, but when we grow up being abused and neglected when caregivers dislike something about us, the only times we're safe to feel positive and close feelings with another person are when it's clear that they're happy with us)

Opportunity for personal gain potentially being one of the biggest factors in deciding whether or not to enter or remain in a relationship (Subconscious conditioning: If an unsafe caregiver isn't providing necessities or something that will help with self-soothing or happiness, then there's no point risking one's safety by interacting with them more than necessary)

Detachment from the other person (Subconscious conditioning: caring about* and having a personal interest in other people turned out to be exceedingly painful and potentially dangerous, and may have been used against us)

*I am not saying that detachment necessarily means not caring about the other person- just that we may be more prone to emotionally detaching or not being as preoccupied with the experiences of the other person.

In every relationship, there is a focus on the self, a focus on the other person, and a focus on the experiences that come with the relationship. The lack of focus on the other person doesn't mean that the other two focuses are abnormal or shouldn't exist; it simply means that someone may struggle with mutuality, usually due to past experiences with trauma. While this obviously can put a strain on relationships, it does not mean that someone is intentionally being exploitative, that they only care about the other person's well-being as long as they're benefiting them in some way, or even that they don't desire a genuinely close relationship with someone.

2: Rewrote the entire B section, and re-introduced elements from the DSM-IV. The B section in the DSM-V had a lot of subjective and ambiguous parts, and lacked focus on the actual issue and the various ways that issue could present. I also changed the wording from "pathological personality traits" to "maladaptive traits".

3: Changed or rewrote symptoms listed in section B to be less subjective and to place the emphasis on how the disorder affects the person who has it, as opposed to how others may perceive the symptoms. I also expanded it somewhat to include variations in how the root issue may present.

Eichi Tenshouin from Ensemble Stars has NPD!

i personally think the reason why so many people struggle to like guren is bc he’s v representative of humanity. of us. how many of us could honestly say we wouldn’t sacrifice everything for our family of choice? what makes guren hard to like is that he forces to confront this “less moral” side of all of us because he does. he sacrifices the world, the entire human race, to get his squad, his family back.

it’s cute when yuu says it for mika bc we’ve seen their characters as children, but we’re first introduced to guren as an adult. he’s 24 in vampire reign, and since that’s how he’s first introduced, he sticks in our heads best at this age. we forget that he was 16 when he lost shinya, sayuri, mito, goshi, and shigure⎯the same age yuu was when he chose mika over the world (kind of. they’re working on a plan, but it’s pretty obvious that if it comes down to it, he absolutely would choose mika over everyone.) but because we’re used to seeing guren as an adult and a high ranking military officer, there’s this expectation that he’s responsible enough to not make that kind of decision.

and yet, we watch him continue to make those decisions to bring back humanity without losing his family, because that’s his modus operandi. at the end of the day, there’s is no one more important to him than his family.

and honestly, how many of us can truly say we wouldn’t have done the same thing in his place?

(i’d also like to point out that i was around 14 when i first found the series and caught up on everything⎯i didn’t like guren v much the first time around and thought he was honestly, quite annoying. at 19, and a whole pandemic later, i think i understand where he’s coming from. he’s quite brilliantly written in that way, the definition of “you’ll understand when you’re older.”)

I love you people who show kindness because "it's what you're supposed to do". I love you people who show kindess because they like being thanked. I love you people who show kindness because it makes them feel good. I love you people who show kindness because they were shown kindness first. I love you people who show kindness for "selfish" reasons. I love you people who show kindness for the "wrong" reasons. I love you people who show kindness in a body that rejects the very notion. Your kindness is not any lesser because of its motivations. The good you added to the world is just as valuable as someone doing it for the "right" reasons. Your effort is seen. Your effort is valued.

recover your power and shine again ✨

sometimes we get stuck in situations/mistakes of the past that do not allow us to move forward in our path and distance us even more from our goals. we think that it is not easy to get out of difficult situations and of course, it is not, because we have that thought, but we can do it. the most important thing is that we must know that no one external is going to help us in this, only us. there are many people who have been going to therapy for years and it doesn't help them because they don't do their part, they continue to live in the past and have a bad image of themselves. ask yourself, do you deserve this? do you deserve to continue in this situation? is it doing you any good? whatever situation you are in, no matter how difficult you think it may seem, you have to understand that it is your perception of how things happen, if you change that perception your world will change. if you are still in the negative, do you really think it is worth it? you probably believe that there is no other way, that life is cruel or hard, but i repeat, it is all part of the perspective in which we look at the world and the things that happen to us. so the first step you have to take is to open yourself to change.

get out of the role of victim, you are responsible for your actions, but don't blame yourself, at that time you were not aware of everything you know how to heal yourself. always take responsibility for yourself. if something someone else does bothers you, you have the power to take it away from them.

overcome the past, don't worry about the future, and live in the now. the past no longer exists and your future is not yet created, be aware that if you continue with negative thoughts you will continue to attract negative situations to your life, but on the contrary, if your thoughts become more positive and your way of life changes everything will improve, i guarantee it.

related to the previous point, do shadow work, write in a diary or wherever those situations that hurt you and let them go, they no longer resonate with you and are not part of the person you want to be.

start creating yourself from 0, think again about how you would like to be and what path you would like to take from now on, leave behind all those habits that no longer benefit you, and focus on the things that make you well.

cut with toxic environments, do not keep talking to people who make you bad and you know they are not good for your growth, those who always criticize you or make you less.

change your internal dialogue and negative thoughts. what is it that makes you think this way? whatever it is, you must stop giving power to those thoughts that haunt you and make you feel bad. every time you detect a negative thought say "stop" and change it for a positive one. if you constantly repeat to yourself that you are worthless, repeat to yourself i am enough, i am more than enough, i can do anything. you also have the option to repeat affirmations or write them on a piece of paper.

change your mentality towards life, stop thinking that it is hard, bad or unfair, think the opposite, that you are a very lucky person, that everything always goes well for you, that life is wonderful, that everything is wonderful in your life, that you are surrounded by good things! do not focus on the negative, because what you focus on expands, whether it is bad or good.

be grateful, either by being aware of where you are, be thankful for everything you have overcome, for every little thing in your day-to-day life, and be proud of yourself too!

new habits, change your lifestyle and incorporate healthier habits into your life little by little. start eating better, start having a schedule, start exercising, start an activity you always wanted to do, learn to spend time alone, and get to know yourself. focus on this, it will keep you motivated and entertained throughout your day.

don't react to what bothers you, ignore it and focus on those things that are beneficial to you, don't put energy into situations you can't control.

understand the difficult situations as proof, thanks to that today you are a stronger person and you have learned something new that will help you in the future.

practice meditation, it will help you focus on the present moment and keep you much more focused on your goals, it will also help you relax your mind and body in stressful situations. make meditation a daily habit in your life.

start your journey of self-love from here, understanding that you are a valuable person and that whatever happened to you in the past doesn't matter anymore, let it go, and focus on all the good things that life has and that you are about to create.

organize your week like this to be closer to the best version of yourself

i interpret the process of becoming our best version as climbing a ladder, on each step, we learn something new that serves us, and the next we complement it with something new, and so on until we reach the end and after many small habits we have become that version we wanted to be. little by little we are learning and although sometimes it is complicated to climb because of the adversities that may arise we can always take up the path again and put into practice what we have learned. that said, today i want to share a method that i have created to organize our habits and thus fulfill them more effectively and feel motivated. in this post i will only present some examples, you have to apply it to your own situation and my recommendation is to start now even with small habits that will be the ones that will lead you to success. i recommend that you try it for this week and write down your results, if it has worked for you keep using this "organization method" and adding new habits or increasing its time.

organize by categories.

create groups to categorize the habits you want to implement in your life, for example like this (the habits are examples, use your own)

🌿 health (body and nutrition)

10 minutes of exercise every day

30 minutes of walking every day

drink a lot more water

start eating consciously

one self-care day a week, for example on friday. we can take this day more relaxed and take more care of ourselves, dedicate more time to our personal and mental care.

do massage with the quartz roller and gua sha

make an appointment for nails, hairdresser, spa, eyelashes or even go to a coffee shop with yourself.

use a face mask and hair mask

🌿 personal growth

read 10 pages a day

listen to personal growth podcasts or audiobooks (choose one and listen to it all week long)

choose an affirmation and write it down every day

record in a diary or an app your mood and what you did during the day.

create a to-do list of what you will do for the day (the night before)

choose a video of affirmations and listen to it every day at a time that suits you best

🌿 studies

study about what you are studying or training for.

dedicate e.g. 20-30 minutes each day to study or review.

study a new language, 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week.

🌿 hobbies

1 - 2 hours to what you enjoy doing (depends on the day and your schedule)

you can write down in a notebook the groups you want to choose for yourself and then the habits you are going to implement, even if they are very small, for example 5 minutes of daily exercise, that is a good start.

to stay focused and not fall into old habits we can also replace the old habits with new ones that we want to implement in this way.

old habit: too much time on instagram new habit: reading or listening to an audiobook while i take a walk. or even just 15 minutes of social media a day.

other examples:

drinking soda or alcoholic beverages > drinking a lot more water and starting to drink natural juices.

watch a lot of series on netflix (or any streaming platform) > read or listen to podcasts/audiobooks that nourish my mind.

overthinking, worrying > meditating for about 5 minutes

lying in bed without doing anything > organizing my room

think in negative > think about the things you would like to happen to you

other tips to connect with your best version

write in your diary how you would act, be and what habits your best version would have. this will give you clarity about what you want and you will feel closer to that because you will know how to act.

establish small habits to start with and take it as a kind of game or test during this week. don't push yourself too hard.

at times when you don't know how to act or react, think about how your best version would act and what it would do.

write down things you are proud of or would like to be proud of.

if you are easily distracted or do not know what to do at any given moment, set alarms to know what to do at that moment.

if you use social media a lot, set a limit of use.

choose habits that you know you will be able to do easily, that will make you gain confidence and little by little establish those habits in which you have procrastinated or which are more difficult for you.

think big, open yourself to the possibilities that life offers you every day and keep a positive attitude towards any situation.

apps i recommend: habit: it serves to keep track of your habits and also get organized, it's a kind of to-do list. daylio: you can record your mood, what you did during the day and your habits, it also allows you to write and add photos. it is very complete, it can be used as a digital diary. notion: to get organized.

duolingo: if you want to learn a language a few minutes a day will be enough. i learned a lot of grammar in english thanks to this, which works if you practice daily.

and as always my blog is about this and there will be many more related posts in addition to the existing ones, all to be our best version 🤍 in fact if you try it i would love to know your results.