New Magic Wand - Abby Anderson X Reader

- Zia's World ☆.

-‘๑’- about me: zia ; bisexual ; 19 ; she/her

if you want to be friends just pm me! I love meeting new people:)

-‘๑’ - who I write about: Ellie Williams, Abby Anderson and any other FEMALE character of your choice, I occasionally will write for other fandoms and for Quackity because I love him but tlou has my heart

-‘๑’ I write: headcanons, stories based off songs and things I think of in my silly little brain.

-‘๑’ - my content: I write ALOT of depressing and violent things. If you are not in the right mental state please DO NOT read my work.

-‘๑’ - rules: men DO NOT interact, NO kind of hate, bullying, sexism, homophobia, and mocking of any religion (including Christianity) is not allowed on my page. If it is found that you broke one of the rules you will be blocked immediately.

-‘๑’ - requests: requests are open till I say otherwise. You can send me song requests or your silly little thoughts:)

-‘๑’- request rules: Men are NOT allowed to request, if it is found that you are a man, you will be blocked immediately. I will NOT answer requests if they make me uncomfortable.

I DO NOT like to be rushed. Writing takes a lot of time and energy. I might take awhile to answer your request because I do not want to give anyone anything less than what they deserve so please be patient with me. I do have a life outside of this app, so once again I do ask that you are patient.

-‘๑’- my work: All my work and plot twists are all my original ideas. I do take inspiration from music and I give credit where it's due. DO NOT copy my work or repost it as your own. If you take inspiration give credit. If I do find out you stole my work without credit, I will take action.

-‘๑’- taglist: if you want to be added to my taglist send me a pm, and I can either tag you on my permanent taglist or a temporary one.

-‘๑’ masterlist

The song save your tear - the weekend reminds of a fwb situation, could you make a ellie williams x reader one?

Maybe one where ellie didnt want to have a relationship with reader and treated her like a friend so now reader treats her like a simple friend and rejects ellies advances

(if you want to make it dark you can! But i leave that up to what you think its best!)

Thank you babes!

Save your tears - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! i hope you enjoy! i wrote 2 versions to this. This and a darker version, lmk if you want that one too!!

this story is based off the song Save your tears by the weeknd, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts:)

Warnings: friends with benefits dynamic, angst and emotional manipulation, power imbalance (emotional), jealousy and toxic behavior, alcohol use

Summary: Ellie Williams never wanted commitment. When you first tangled in each other’s sheets, it was her rules: casual, no strings, no complications. You agreed—half-heartedly. But feelings grew in the silence between skin and shadows.

masterlist

The first time it happened, you were both drunk.

Not the sloppy kind—just loose enough to forget the warnings stitched into your better judgment. Ellie’s hand on your thigh, the glint of a dare in her half-lidded eyes. “We don’t have to make this a thing,” she said against your neck, casual like it was just another Friday night. “Just... fun, yeah?”

And you—foolish, soft, already hooked—nodded. “Yeah. Fun.”

It became a pattern. Late nights, tangled limbs, and laughter that always faded too quickly when the morning sun hit. Ellie would slide on her hoodie, brush a kiss to your cheek, and mutter, “Don’t catch feelings, alright?” Like it was a joke. Like she wasn’t the one carving space inside your ribs.

You told yourself it was enough. That the warmth of her body beside yours was worth the cold that followed when she left.

But the thing about pretending? Eventually, someone forgets it's not real.

The night everything shifted, you were at Dina’s.

A party, crowded and loud, red cups everywhere. You didn’t expect Ellie to show up—she hadn’t texted in three days—but there she was: leaning against the kitchen counter, beer in hand, her gaze flicking over the crowd until it landed on you.

You were talking to someone else. Some girl from Lit class. Laughing—genuinely, for once. Ellie watched, her expression unreadable.

Later, when she cornered you outside, her breath visible in the cold, her voice cracked. “Who was that?”

You blinked. “What?”

“That girl. You were flirting.”

You laughed, bitter. “Isn’t that what we do, El? Flirt with people we don’t care about?”

She flinched like you’d slapped her. Then she kissed you.

Hard. Desperate.

You let her. Of course you did. But something inside you stayed locked this time. You didn’t fall into her like before. You didn’t cry when she left.

After that night, Ellie started showing up more.

Texting. Calling. Bringing you coffee “just because.” She’d sit too close on your couch, her hand brushing yours like a ghost of what used to be. But you didn’t let her in.

You stopped waiting for her messages. Stopped rearranging your world to fit around hers.

When she said, “Let’s hang out tonight,” you told her you had plans. No explanation. No apology.

Ellie looked stunned, almost hurt. “With who?”

You shrugged. “Does it matter?”

That night, she posted an old photo of you on her story. Just your hand in hers. No caption.

You blocked her for a week.

She showed up at your apartment. Rain-soaked. Eyes red.

“I miss you.”

You looked at her like a stranger.

“You had me,” you said softly. “And you didn’t want me.”

Ellie didn’t know how to mourn something that was never officially hers.

She spent nights lying awake, replaying your laugh, your voice, the way your fingers curled into her shirt in your sleep. She used to pretend she didn’t notice. But she did. She noticed everything.

Now, she notices your absence.

The silence in her apartment is thick with your ghost.

She tries to move on. Hooking up with someone else—a distraction. But when she touches her, all she feels is how different she is from you. The wrong perfume. The wrong laugh. The wrong everything.

She leaves before it’s over.

Back in her car, knuckles white on the steering wheel, Ellie whispers to herself, “What the fuck did I do?”

You see her again at the art building.

She’s leaning against the wall, sketchbook in hand, pretending to draw. Her eyes dart up when she spots you, and there’s that flicker of hope—raw and real.

You approach. Calm.

She straightens. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

Silence. She breaks first. “Can we talk?”

You nod. “Sure.”

You walk beside her, down quiet paths where words feel louder. She tells you everything. How she was scared. How she didn’t think she deserved you. How she messed it all up.

“I’m ready now,” she says. “For real. I want—”

You hold up a hand.

“Ellie…” You meet her eyes. Steady. “I don’t want that anymore.”

She freezes. Like her heart stops.

“You—what?”

“I don’t want to go back,” you say. “Not after how it felt to be your ‘almost.’ I won’t do it again.”

You see it hit her. The panic. The grief. And still—you don’t flinch.

“I’m sorry, Ellie,” you whisper. “But I stopped waiting for you.”

Later, Ellie listens to “Save Your Tears” on repeat.

She finally understands the lyrics now. Every word.

“I broke your heart like someone did to mine…”

She used to think heartbreak made her immune.

Now, she knows it just made her cruel

You move on.

Not with anyone else—not yet—but with yourself. You go to therapy. You heal. You fill your days with things that make you feel whole again. Not dependent on someone’s half-hearted love.

Ellie tries, once more. She leaves flowers. A letter.

You don’t read it.

You leave the flowers on your doorstep until they wilt.

It’s not about punishment—it’s about peace.

You don’t cry for her anymore.

She watches you from a distance sometimes, wondering if she ever really knew you. If she ever deserved to.

She doesn’t chase again.

She finally learns what it means to lose someone who loved you completely.

You let Ellie into your apartment one night, not out of love—out of curiosity.

She stands awkwardly near the door, like she knows she’s trespassing somewhere sacred.

“I’m not here to mess things up,” she says. “I just… needed to see you.”

You nod slowly, arms crossed.

“I never knew how to love you right,” she says, voice low. “But I never stopped wanting to try.”

You tilt your head. “Ellie, wanting to try means nothing when I was begging for it before.”

Her face crumples.

You let her cry.

But you don’t hold her this time.

You just say, gently, “Go home, Ellie.”

Two years later, you meet again. Different city. Different lives.

She looks older. Softer. Worn down in the way heartbreak shapes you.

You talk. Lightly. Carefully. Like a bandage being peeled.

“I never loved anyone after you,” she admits.

You smile. “I loved myself after you.”

There’s silence.

And then, for the first time, Ellie smiles too.

No expectations. Just understanding.

Sometimes love isn’t a second chance. Sometimes it’s knowing when to let go.

You sit in your apartment, tea in hand, the rain tapping against the window. You used to cry every time it rained.

Now it’s just weather.

You think about how far you've come.

How love isn’t meant to be begged for, or bargained with.

And if Ellie ever really loved you, she’ll learn that too.

You close your eyes. You are whole.

And finally—

You don’t miss her.

your best friend- ellie williams x reader

no one requested this lol, i just liked the song... do yall want me to make a spotify playlist off all the songs i've written about?

This story is based off the song your best friend by Kiana Lede, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts:)

Warnings: emotional cheating

Summary: in which you wished ellie wasn't dating your best friend

Masterlist

Ellie never planned to fall in love with you.

She always said your laugh was addictive. Always told Dina that you were “a good one” — loyal, grounded, funny. The kind of person who didn’t start shit, who didn’t push boundaries.

But that’s the problem, isn’t it?

You didn’t push the boundary.

Ellie did. And you let her.

It started with late-night walks through Jackson. Dina would stay behind to clean up or rest from patrol. You and Ellie would wander, shoulders brushing, voices soft, dancing around the things you never said.

It continued with touches that lingered — a hand at your waist that stayed too long. A look that lasted one second too much. Her compliments growing too precise. Yours returning just as sharp.

You told yourself: I would never betray her.

And Ellie told herself: I would never act on it.

But both of you were liars.

One night, while Dina slept upstairs, you and Ellie were in the kitchen, whispering about dumb shit, faces inches apart. You’d just said something funny, and she laughed — full and rare — and then she looked at you like she wanted to ruin everything. You saw it coming.

You didn’t stop it.

The kiss was slow, scared — like both of you knew you’d just ripped something open you couldn’t close.

“I’m sorry,” Ellie whispered, lips still brushing yours.

“No, you’re not.”

And you were right.

Guilt became your second skin.

You smiled in front of Dina. You helped her chop vegetables for dinner, listened to her talk about the new recruits, helped her clean out the horse stables.

But you couldn’t stop thinking about Ellie’s hands under your shirt two nights ago, the way she kept saying “fuck, I shouldn’t” while she didn’t stop.

You weren’t proud. But god, it felt real.

You hated yourself for loving it.

One evening, after too much whiskey, Ellie sat on your porch with red eyes.

“I can’t lie to her forever.”

“Then don’t,” you said. “End it. Or stop this.”

Ellie looked at you, jaw tight. “I don’t know how to stop.”

You both sat there in silence. You didn’t know either.

Dina found out in spring.

You never knew how much Ellie told her, but the fallout was brutal. Dina slammed the front door, threw Ellie’s jacket across the porch, and didn’t speak to you for a month.

Ellie moved out of their house.

She stayed in one of the abandoned cabins by the trees, didn’t talk to anyone for days.

You visited once, stood outside her door. “Ellie, say something.”

“I’m a fucking coward,” came her voice. “Don’t come back.”

You left.

But you didn’t stop loving her.

Time passed.

The pain dulled, but it never left. People stopped looking at you like you were contagious. Dina started laughing again, even made peace with you one afternoon when she found you alone by the stables.

“I’m not ready to forgive you,” she said. “But I know you loved her. That’s worse.”

You nodded. Because it was true.

Ellie stayed distant for months.

Then one day, you found a note slipped under your door.

“I’m still in love with you.

-E"

You found her at the lake, sitting on the edge of the dock, legs dangling in the water.

She didn’t look at you as you sat beside her.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” she said quietly.

“I almost didn’t,” you replied. “But I never stopped loving you either.”

She finally turned to face you — eyes green and heavy with regret.

“I ruined everything,” Ellie said.

“You broke her heart,” you agreed. “And mine. But I let you.”

Silence again.

Then: “Do you think we can try again? For real this time?”

You breathed out slowly. “Only if we stop lying. To everyone. To ourselves.”

Ellie nodded. “I want to love you right this time.”

It wasn’t perfect.

People judged. Dina kept her distance. Some friendships faded. But you and Ellie stood in it — the mess, the guilt, the consequences.

You built something real from the wreckage.

The touches became open. The glances weren’t stolen. Her hand on yours at the bar felt proud now. You kissed in daylight.

Sometimes, she still looked sad — when she remembered what she lost. What she broke.

But when she looked at you, there was love. Raw, honest, painful — but whole.

One night, in your shared bed, she whispered, “You’re not her best friend anymore.”

You smiled, touched her jaw. “No. I’m yours.”

I've been obsessed with john buckleys "everybody here wants you" I'd love to see your take on it maybe from the readers pov like where we are admiring ellie

Everybody here wants you - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon! your wish, is command... I hope you enjoy <3

This story is based off the song Everybody here wants you by Jeff Buckley, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

Requests are always open feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there:) or just send me your thoughts....

HUGE Warning: obsession, stalking, murder, gore, self harm, reader is unhinged, Dina slander (we love Dina but for the sake of the plot we're haters)

Summary: In which you fell in love with someone you couldn't have

wc: 1.9k

29 pearls in your kiss

A singing smile

Coffee smell and lilac skin

Your flame in me

I'm only here for this moment

When you first laid eyes on Ellie it felt like your body was on fire.

Ellie awakened some deep desire in you, that even you yourself didn’t understand.

When she caught you staring all she could do was give you a small smile, and you felt your stomach erupt with butterflies. Even after she caught you, you couldn’t help but to continue staring.

 The way her autumn brown hair was in a half up, half down look, the way the red and green flannel hugged her arms the right way, how her side profile looked. Just everything about her. Everything about her was without fault.

god really has his favorites huh?

You didn’t know who she was, you didn’t know her name but god she was doing things to you. You got up from where you were sitting and walked behind her. As soon as you walked past her, a strong scent of pinewood hit you.

Wow jesus, ok does she bath in her perfume? You thought to yourself.

As you stood at the other side of the room watching this beautiful woman you heard someone scream “Ellie” the autumn brown haired girl’s head snapped up, looking at another girl.

You wanted to vomit.

You wanted to stab your eyes out after watching Ellie smile with someone else.

“Dina!” Ellie screamed back standing up and immediately running to the girl with dark hair and hugging her. Even though you were filled with jealousy you knew her name now.

Ellie.

Your Ellie.

I know everybody here wants you

I know everybody here thinks he needs you

I'll be waiting right here just to show you

How our love will blow it all away

You weren’t stupid. Ellie was an attractive girl. The day you met Ellie you saw how people looked at her. The way their gaze’s lingered on her beautiful face. Whether it was men or women it seemed that Ellie’s beauty had everyone in awe.

Everybody here wanted Ellie. Everybody in this room did.

How would Ellie notice you when there’s hundreds, probably thousands of people throwing themselves at her.

That day when you first saw Ellie and found out her name, you spent exactly 72 hours looking for her Instagram. You went through thousands of accounts trying to find her. When you eventually found Ellie’s Instagram you learned a lot more about her.

She loved skating, she’s very gay and she has a best friend named Dina.

You let out a sigh of relief when you realized that they were only friends. But the way Ellie smiled at her made your stomach churn.

You saw Dina as a threat.

Who wouldn’t? She was everything you weren’t. And at least Ellie knew of her existence.

You clicked on Dina’s profile going through each one of her posts, comments and everything about her. You memorized Dina’s page, every post, comment and caption. You had to figure out what Ellie saw in Dina. You had to become Dina.

A week went by, and neither Ellie or Dina posted anything. You felt like you were losing your mind. As soon as you wanted to give up and move on, Dina made a post that she was throwing a huge party. A smile appeared on your face. This was your chance.

Miracles do happen. You were going to that party. And you were going to get Ellie’s number.

Hmm, such a thing of wonder in this crowd

I'm a stranger in this town

You're free with me

And our eyes locked in downcast love

I sit here proud

Even now, you're undressed in your dreams with me

You shouldn’t have come here. Everybody in this room wanted Ellie. The way they all started at her with hungry eyes, the way they were practically undressing her with their eyes. You didn’t like this. You didn’t like the way they were looking at your girl.

You were burning holes into the back of Ellie’s head at this point. Ellie turned around frowning when somebody bumped into her, and for the first time in almost two weeks the two of you locked eyes again.

Ellie gave you a smile. That fucking smile. The same one she gave you two weeks ago. You sat there frozen after she turned away. You didn’t know if you should cry or be excited. Ellie smiled at you. She definitely wants you.

You felt out of place. Everyone in this stupid party knew each other. You felt like you didn’t belong. You hated being here, but if it means you’ll be in Ellie’s presence a little longer you’ll put up with it.

“Hi” you heard a voice say behind you, and when you turned around your eyes met with Dina’s.

“Hi Dina” you said softly.

“How do you know my name?”

fuck how did you know her name?

were you supposed to tell the truth? that you were stalking her?

“I’m a friend of Ellie’s” you smiled.

“Oh! A friend of Ellie’s is a friend of mine!” She gave you a bright smile bringing you in for a hug.

 “It was nice meeting you” Dina smiled as she started walking away. Your eyes followed her seeing that she was walking towards Ellie.

Fuck fuck fuck no no no

what happens if she asks Ellie about you? They would know you’re a fake. And you’d never get a chance with Ellie.

“Hey Dina” you called out and she turned toward you, “yeah?” she yelled over the music.

“Can you please show me where the bathroom is?”

 “Oh yeah follow me” Dina reached out you, offering her hand so that you can grab it. The two of you walked in the crowd hand in hand.

Dina was talking too much. She’s so fucking annoying you thought to yourself.  

What does Ellie see in her?

“Here we go” Dina said as she pushed open a door. The room was decorated with white and blue wallpaper, and there was a bed in the middle of the room.

“You want me to pee on the bed?” you questioned.

“No silly” Dina laughed she walked to the other side of the room pushing open another door, revealing a bathroom.

“Wait let me check if there’s toilet paper- “

 Dina’s body landed on the floor with a thud as blood seeped from her head. You stood above her holding a lamp heavily breathing. Tears pricked your eyes.

What the fuck were you thinking? You weren’t a killer. You never wanted to harm Dina.

You looked down at your hands seeing that the blood on top of the lamp dripped down onto your own hands.

“No” you yelled throwing it on the ground. You sat on the bed sobbing.

You were going to prison. You were a killer. You were dirty. You were a bad person.

No.

No you weren’t.

Dina was going to tell Ellie. She was going to tell Ellie that you lied. You weren’t a bad person, you just made a mistake. A mistake that you will clean up before anyone came looking for Dina.

You quickly got up wiping the tears from your eyes, and you locked the door.

You quickly grabbed a towel and you wrapped it around her head to try and stop the bleeding as much as you can to make the cleanup easier. You dragged Dina’s body closer to the bed as you let out a grunt as you placed her on the bed.

You walked to the bathroom looking through the cupboard “fuck yeah” you breathed when you saw a pack of razors. You gently took one out and you walked over to Dina.

She was still breathing, but you knew after this she wouldn’t.

You took the razor and you dragged across her writs. On each arm you dragged it 4 times and you watched the blood pool out of her arms. You gently removed the towel from her head, seeing her eyes were open and her mouth was moving.

 “I’m sorry” you breathed.

 It was an accident. You weren’t a bad person.

You took some blood from her wrists and she winched, you walked over to the wall and you wrote the words “I’m sorry” hoping that they might think that Dina is apologizing for her “suicide”.

 But in reality this was you apologizing to everyone you knew this was going to affect.

You got down on your knees and you cleaned the blood from Dina’s first wound that was still left on the floor. By the time the place was spotless Dina already too her last breath, as the sheets were soaked with her blood.

“I’m sorry” you apologized one more time before you jumped out the window running home.

The only regret you had that night was not getting Ellie’s number.

I know the tears we cried

Have dried on yesterday

The sea of fools has parted for us

There's nothing in our way, my love

“I’m sorry for your loss” you spoke softly.

“Who are you?” Ellie asked.

“I was a friend of Dina’s” you lied.

Ellie sniffled “do you know why she killed herself?” she asked as she looked at Dina’s grave again.

 “No” you muttered

“I thought she was happy”

"me too"

“Wait you’re that girl from the party” Ellie said after a few minutes of silence. Your stomach fluttered at the fact that she remembered you.

“Yeah” you smiled

You and Ellie spoke about Dina for a while, you made up stories about what great friends you and Eina were and you were happy that Ellie could finally talk to you.

The two of you exchanged numbers that day and you couldn’t be happier.

Dina didn’t die in vain. She died for you and Ellie to be happy. There was nothing standing in the way of your love anymore.

Don't you see, don't you see?

You're just the torch to put the flame to all our guilt and shame

And I'll rise like an ember in your name

I know I, I know

Why didn’t Ellie see? You were here for her since Dina’s funeral.

Why wasn’t she falling in love with you? Why didn’t she realized everything you’ve done for her? Every time you would show Ellie affection or love she never showed it back. Ellie saw you as an acquaintance not a friend and it was the hardest thing for you to accept.

You knew that deep down she loved you.

Maybe she’s scared of her feelings. Maybe she didn’t love you. Maybe you need to encourage her. Maybe you need to show her how much you loved her.

And that’s exactly what you did. You showed her.

You stared texting her more often, you started following her around. You sent her letters. And soon Ellie blocked you. She’d throw rocks at you when she’d see you.

 Ellie sprayed you with pepper spray once. Ellie was doing anything and everything she can to stay away from you. She even moved across the city to get away.

But you’d always find her. You’d always get her.

Ellie awoke something in you. Something primal, an animal instinct. You blame her for the way you’re acting. She made you this way.

You tormented Ellie for 2 months she got a restraining order against you. But that didn’t stop you. You just learned to become sneakier. You’d still follow her around you still text but for different number, you’d pretend to be different people.

Ellie was going to love you one way or another. You’d make her love you, with or without that stupid restraining order.

The restraining order reminded you of Dina. It was something that was in the way of you and Ellie’s love. The same way you got rid of Dina, the same way you could get rid of that restraining order. After all Dina was temporary, her life ended. The same was that restraining order was temporary. It will end eventually too, and you’d finally get your chance with Ellie.

I know everybody here, well, thinks he needs you

Thinks he needs you

And I'll be waiting right here just to show you

Everybody at this park wanted Ellie. You hated the way they stared at her as she walked. You hated all of this. You wish you could stick a knife into all their eyes sockets to make them all stop staring at her.

Ellie still hasn’t noticed you after all this time. Even after Dina’s death you thought you had something. But its ok. One day Ellie will realize that you were the one for her. One day she’ll see you the way you see her.

21 days left. 21 days before the restraining order expires. After 5 long years of watching Ellie from afar was soon coming to an end.

You’ll wait for her. Even if it takes forever.

She’ll come around, you know she will, and until then you’ll admire her till the two of you could finally be together.

Authors note: Another long one lmao, but remember you are loved and to always be kind. My requests and pm’s are always open for anything and anyone:)

Yours truly,

Zia <3

ur the best😭😭 love your fics so much

STOPPPP

this has me giggling and shii... thank you sm😭

Everything I do is for you guys!! If you are happy I'm happy:)

Ellie Williams Masterlist

main masterlist

about me!

Stories˚₊۶ৎ˙⋆

- drunk running: You and Ellie have always been a storm—chaotic, coiled tightly, unspoken things woven into the silence between glances. One night, everything boils over. Fueled by alcohol, memory, and all the words neither of you ever had the guts to say sober, you're both forced to confront the version of love you’ve built: broken, frantic, desperate.

- look at us now: Caught between a turbulent past with Ellie and a slowly blossoming future with Abby, you're forced to confront everything you thought you knew about love, loyalty, and healing.

- under her desk: You're her secretary—organized, polite, and always on time. She's the boss—cold, brilliant, and merciless. But every glance from Ellie lingers too long. Every touch burns. And every closed-door meeting gets harder to forget.

- to be near you: Ellie was quiet at first, just watching from the background — protective, helpful, always there. But her interest wasn’t harmless. What began as care turned into control, and slowly, you realized she was never going to let you go. Even when you stopped fighting, her obsession only grew stronger.

- the things we do in the dark: A late-night confession turns into something neither of you can take back. In the quiet moments between guilt and longing, you and Ellie finds yourself crossing a line — again and again — in the shadows of a relationship that was never meant to be theirs.

- don't take her from me: Ellie’s always had control—until someone threatens to take the one person she can’t live without

- she: When Ellie starts watching her a little too closely, it’s hard to tell where curiosity ends and obsession begins. What begins as quiet glances and subtle tension quickly turns into something darker—something neither of them fully understands, but both feel deeply.

- when the quiet breaks: Ellie Williams is living a peaceful life on the farmhouse with you—the woman who convinced her not to chase revenge. For a while, things feel almost perfect. But the past never stays buried.

- save your tears: Ellie Williams never wanted commitment. When you first tangled in each other’s sheets, it was her rules: casual, no strings, no complications. You agreed—half-heartedly. But feelings grew in the silence between skin and shadows.

- girlfriend: In a broken world, Ellie Williams becomes the one constant — protective, intense, and impossible to ignore. Their bond is complicated, but it’s all they have.

- drunk texting: After a night of drinking, a risky text is sent to Ellie — one that unravels buried feelings and turns their dynamic upside down.

- high enough: in which you wanted her

- your best friend: in which you wished she wasn't dating your best friend

- knee deep: in which ellie wanted you back

- sports car: in which she took you for a ride

- beneath the mask: in which she saved you

- one step forward, three steps back: In which your relationship always put you 3 steps back

- crimson days: in which she needed comfort

- quiet room: in which you needed comfort

- the cut that always bleeds: in which she left you bleeding

- Split ends: in which you needed help

- drunk words, sober eyes: in which you confessed

- planets: in which you went on a date

- latch: in which you were trapped

- frostbite: in which you shared a special moment with her

- losing sleep: in which you hated her

- dark red: in which she wanted you to herself

- wash day: in which she helps you with your hair

- rose: in which she cant forget you

- comfort: in which she helped you

- bubblegum: in which you fell in love

- I was all over her: in which she wanted to be all over you

- do you still dream of me?: In which you still dream about her

- laundry: In which you didn't fold the laundry

- bad dog: in which you treated her like a bad dog

- pretty girl: in which she showed her girl how pretty she really is

- mary (angst edition): in which you left her to rot

- things to do: In which they got their happily ever after

- satisfied: in which you were the perfect housewife

- in my feelings (angst edition): In which you fell for a loser

- dye it red: In which you dyed your hair red

- ultraviolence: In which she became the person, you've always wanted

- karma: In which you were her downfall

- twilight: In which you couldn't win Ellie's heart

- window: In which Ellie Williams made a big mistake

- in my feelings: In which you showed a loser, a great time

- mary (mental illness edition): In which Ellie wrote you a song.

- brooklyn baby: In which you were dating the world-famous Ellie Williams

- laugh it off: In which Ellie tries to fix your relationship after she was unfaithful

- cool about it: if Ellie couldn't have you, she'd make sure no one else ever will.

- she calls me daddy: You might be engaged but you still always go back to Ellie

- petals on the moon: In which Ellie regrets her decision

- night shift: In which you were the other women

- everybody here wants you: In which you fell in love with someone you couldn't have

- emily i'm sorry: In which Ellie is fucking crazy

- limit to your love: In which you got your heart broken

- I'm not a mountain: In which Ellie makes stupid decisions

- one night only: Ellie wanted needed to see you, but little did she know the one night she wanted to spend with you, would be her final night

- fake it: You and Ellie reminisce on how the two of you got together

- together: Your relationship was toxic, you both knew this... but yet both of you couldn't stay away from each other

- in hell: in which ellie had a taste of what hell felt like

- waste my time: Ellie questions if you really love her or if you were just using her to clean up your mess

- poision: Ellie knows your relationship is toxic, but she can’t help but go back to you.

- nobody; Ellie's biggest fear becomes a reality...

- is there someone else? All Ellie wanted was for you to forgive her

- infatuated: In which Ellie’s “small crush” turned into an obsession

- all the girls you've loved before: Two lost girls, finally found what they've been looking for in each other

- forever: What’s the point of living, if you aren’t by her side?

- moonlight : In which ellie gets high with her lover

series˚₊۶ৎ˙⋆

scream for me: In which not killing the pretty girl was the best mistake she ever made

part 1 part 2 part 3

Therefore, you and me: All you needed was Ellie

part 1 part 2 part 3

Her Sweet girl: in which you had enough

part 1 part 2

Loser Ellie

part 1 part 2

Professor Ellie

professor ellie masterlist

Brothers best friend Ellie

part 1 part 2

Simp Ellie

part 1 part 2

drabbles, hcs and short stories˚₊۶ৎ˙⋆

ellie taking care of sick reader (hcs)

toxic ellie (hcs)

douchebag ellie (hcs)

ellie warming you up (ss)

ellie saying you're a piece of art (ss)

ok ok but band!Ellie x reader based on Brooklyn baby by Lana del Rey…

hi anon! this app hates me and I really struggled posting this. I had to post your fic separately!

here it is

I hope you enjoy<3

hellooo

I’m obsessed w the song Drunk, Running by Lizzy McAlpine. do you think you could write a ellie x reader based on that song plsss 🥺

thx so much!!

Drunk, Running - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! I had two ideas for the ending, lmk if you want a different version!! I hope you enjoy:)

this story is based off the song, Drunk, Running by Lizzy McAlpine. If you can listen to the song as you're reading:)

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts and ideas!!

warnings: codependent relationship themes, alcohol use, emotional manipulation (subtle, mutual), unresolved trauma, toxic dynamic, mentions of anxiety/panic

summary: You and Ellie have always been a storm—chaotic, coiled tightly, unspoken things woven into the silence between glances. One night, everything boils over. Fueled by alcohol, memory, and all the words neither of you ever had the guts to say sober, you're both forced to confront the version of love you’ve built: broken, frantic, desperate.

masterlist

You don’t remember how you got here.

Not the room—you know this place like your own heartbeat. You could walk it blindfolded. It’s the ache in your ribs, the burn in your lungs, the sting of regret creeping up your throat that you can’t place.

Ellie’s doorway leans the same way it always has. Crooked. Waiting.

And she’s there. She’s always there.

Sitting on the edge of her bed with a cigarette between her fingers, head tilted back, red eyes glossy like she’s already lived this night a thousand times. Like she’s been here before, waiting for you to walk in and fall apart in front of her.

“Been drinkin’ again?” she asks.

You nod. She doesn’t move. And neither do you.

You taste vodka and guilt, and something like hope when you whisper, “I couldn’t sleep.”

She shrugs, tapping ash into the same cracked mug she never washes. “I didn’t ask.”

That should’ve hurt. Maybe it does.

But you’re not here for kindness. You’re here because this is the only place where the world stops spinning, even if it’s just for a second.

Even if the stillness breaks you. Even if it’s Ellie breaking you.

“I walked here,” you say, trying to fill the silence that’s pressing hard against your ears. “Didn’t even put on shoes.”

“You’re gonna cut your feet,” she murmurs. She still won’t look at you.

“They’re already bleeding.”

Finally, her eyes meet yours.

And for a second, there’s a flicker of something softer. A glint of that girl who once traced constellations across your shoulder blades in the dark and called you her galaxy.

“You always come back,” she says, like it’s a curse.

You blink. “I always leave.”

“You always come back drunk.”

You laugh, bitter. “Maybe that’s the only time I’m brave enough.”

Ellie’s jaw flexes. You know that expression. She’s doing math in her head, counting how many times you’ve done this. Walked in, broken. Asked her to fix you. Let her hold you. Only to walk out again with your ribs sewn shut and your voice hoarse from the things you never said.

“You ever wonder if we just—" she stops, runs a hand through her hair, frustrated. “If we’re only this because we’re scared to be something else?”

Your throat goes dry. She never talks like this. Not when she’s sober. Not when you’re not.

“I think we’re poison,” you whisper.

She scoffs. “Then why do you keep drinking me?”

You step toward her like your bones are moving without permission. Like they remember the way she feels before your mind does. Like they’re in love with her even when you’ve forgotten how.

“’Cause it’s the only thing that makes it stop hurting.”

Ellie doesn’t pull away when you kneel in front of her. When your head falls into her lap. When your hands clutch at her thighs like a lifeline. Her fingers slip into your hair, gentle. Devastating. Like nothing’s wrong.

Like this isn’t killing both of you.

“You smell like cheap vodka and bad choices,” she says, but it’s so soft you almost think she’s trying to love you with the words.

“I miss you,” you breathe.

“You don’t,” she says back. “You miss the version of me who let you run.”

The silence drapes over the room like fog.

“I miss the version of me who didn’t,” you finally whisper.

And that’s when she leans down, foreheads touching, breath against your lips like a promise neither of you know how to keep.

“You were never supposed to love me like this,” she says, and you feel it like a knife.

“You taught me how,” you reply, and she shatters in your hands.

She kisses you like a warning. You kiss her like a prayer.

And it’s all teeth and memory and the kind of desperation that tastes like blood. Her hands grip your waist like she’s trying to hold together something that’s already cracked.

She lays you down. You let her. You always let her.

And when she curls around you after, her voice barely audible, she asks the same question she always does.

“Will you stay this time?”

And you give the same answer you always do.

“I don’t know how.”

You leave in the morning. You always do.

And behind you, Ellie lights another cigarette, watches the sunrise she never asked for, and whispers into the silence: I would’ve waited forever.

Ellie hadn’t realized the silence was healing her until the ache stopped being the first thing she felt when she woke up. It started subtly.

Your name stopped echoing every time her phone buzzed. Her hands stopped trembling at 3AM. She stopped checking the sidewalk in front of her apartment like you’d be barefoot again, drunk, bleeding, mumbling something about needing to be held.

She stopped waiting for you to come undone in her doorway. And in the quiet you left behind, she started building a life that didn’t require loving you in pieces.

She read more. Fixed the broken step on her porch. Learned how to cook something other than grilled cheese. Stopped sleeping in the middle of the bed. Not because she expected you back, but because it felt better.

Peaceful, even.

She thought of you sometimes. Of course she did.

The way you smiled when you were too tired to fake it. The way your hands always shook when you said you didn’t care. The way you used her like a lighthouse, then cursed the fire when you got too close.

You never meant to be cruel. But that didn’t make it less cruel.

Still, Ellie never stopped loving you. She just stopped setting herself on fire to keep you warm.

And so, when your knock finally came—not a drunken stumble, not a crash, just one soft tap-tap-tap—Ellie was already standing.

Barefoot. Coffee in hand. Awake before dawn because she’d stopped dreading it.

When she opened the door and saw you—sober, eyes clear, jacket zipped—it was like meeting someone entirely new. Or maybe someone you were before the chaos.

“Hey,” you said.

Her throat was dry. “Hey.”

You smiled, almost sheepish. “I didn’t come to fall apart this time.”

That made her chest seize up in ways she wasn’t ready for.

You stood there, hands buried in your coat pockets, shifting like you didn’t know if you had the right to be here anymore. Like you didn’t expect her to open the door.

“I just…” you licked your lips. “I’ve been trying. I’ve been going to therapy. I’ve stopped drinking. It’s been four months. I journal. I even got a cat.”

Ellie blinked. “You hate cats.”

“She hates me too. It’s a good match.”

That pulled a soft laugh out of her, unfiltered. You looked so… real. Not desperate. Not frantic. Not aching.

“I’ve missed you,” you said. “But not like before. Not like… like you’re the only thing keeping me alive. I just… miss you. Not the pain. Not the mess.”

She leaned against the doorframe, letting herself exhale.

“Why now?” she asked. “Why today?”

You bit your lip. “Because for the first time, I wasn’t scared to be alone. And I think… maybe that means I’m ready to be with someone. Not to survive. Just to be.”

She wanted to say something poetic. Something that sounded like closure or beginning or both.

But all she could manage was: “Do you want to come in?”

You smiled like it meant everything.

“Only if you want me to.”

Ellie stepped aside. And this time, you walked in with your shoes on, your voice steady, your hands not shaking.

You didn’t fall into her arms like you were drowning. You stood beside her. Still. Sober.

And when she reached for your hand, it wasn’t trembling.

This is how the cycle ends. Not with fireworks. Not with a breakdown. But with quiet recognition. With two people choosing each other—not out of fear, but out of love that finally feels safe.

It’s almost embarrassing how mundane it is.

The morning light spills through the apartment like it’s always belonged there—soft, forgiving. Your cat (the one who still barely tolerates you) is curled on the windowsill, tail flicking rhythmically. Ellie’s in the kitchen, humming under her breath while flipping pancakes she knows you like just a little burnt on the edges.

You’re sitting at the kitchen table, wrapped in one of her old flannels, thumbing through a book she lent you. You’ve underlined every other sentence.

She says nothing about it.

Just brings you a cup of coffee exactly the way you like it now. Two sugars. No cream. You’d stopped adding cream when you realized you used to drown the bitterness out of habit, not taste.

“How’s the book?” she asks.

You look up at her—hair messy, tattoo sleeve half-covered by a hoodie, eyes kind in the way that used to terrify you. You used to run from kindness like it was a threat.

Now you let it hold you.

“It’s good,” you murmur. “I think I’m finally understanding it.”

She leans against the counter and raises a brow. “The themes or the words?”

“Both.”

She grins. “Progress.”

You smile back. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

Ellie walks over, slow and sure. Crouches beside your chair, presses her forehead to your knee like it’s instinct. Her fingers curl around yours. Grounding.

“You gave up on yourself first,” she says quietly. “I was just waiting for you to remember who you are.”

You blink back the sting behind your eyes. Not sadness. Just... release.

“I was so scared,” you whisper.

“I know.”

“I thought loving you meant losing myself.”

She nods, solemn. “And I thought loving you meant saving you.”

You both sit with that. Not in shame—just recognition.

“I’m not a project anymore,” you say.

“No,” she agrees, looking up at you. “You’re my partner.”

You press your lips to her forehead. She closes her eyes. Breakfast burns slightly on the stove, but neither of you move.

Later, you water the plants while Ellie grades papers. Your cat hisses when you try to pet her and Ellie snorts behind her laptop. You walk past her and kiss her temple. She tugs you onto her lap and lets you fall asleep like that—safe, full, warm. When you wake up, the sun is fading, and Ellie’s fingers are tracing the line of your spine through the fabric of her flannel.

“You think we’ll always be this boring?” you tease.

She smiles against your shoulder.

“I hope so.”

When the Quiet Breaks - ellie williams x reader

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me songs or your silly ideas:)

HUGE WARNIGS: Graphic emotional distress, PTSD symptoms, hallucinations, disturbing imagery, grief, memory loss/confusion, trauma-related violence.

Summary: Ellie Williams is living a peaceful life on the farmhouse with you—the woman who convinced her not to chase revenge. For a while, things feel almost perfect. But the past never stays buried.

masterlist

This story contains dark and emotionally intense themes—please read with care.

The quiet of the farmhouse wrapped around you and Ellie like a warm blanket. Days passed slowly, wrapped in soft sunlight and the creak of old wooden floors. You’d wake up to the sound of the chickens outside or the wind humming through the trees. JJ’s toys were still in a chest near the fireplace—leftover memories from when the place belonged to someone else—but now, it was just the two of you.

Ellie had changed. The hard, vengeful edge she’d carried back from Seattle was softened—still there in her eyes sometimes, but she laughed more now. She played guitar on the porch. She rested her head on your lap while you read aloud. She touched you like she never thought she’d be allowed to again—tenderly, like you might disappear if she blinked.

“I’m glad I stayed,” she said once, lying next to you in bed. “You’re the only reason I still know how to breathe.”

You smiled and kissed her jaw. “Then breathe with me.” And she did.

But nights were harder.

She would jerk awake, drenched in sweat, whispering things she couldn’t say aloud. You’d hold her. Sometimes she’d cry. Other nights, she wouldn’t sleep at all—just sat at the window, cigarette trembling in her hand, staring at nothing.

You didn’t push. You just loved her harder. Calmer mornings, softer kisses. You’d hum to her while she braided your hair or stood behind her while she strummed, your hand on her back. You reminded her that she was here—that she was safe.

But Ellie was never really safe. Not from what was already inside her.

It started slowly—the confusion.

She’d zone out mid-conversation. You’d find her staring at the barn wall for minutes on end. One night, you came into the living room and found her kneeling in front of the fireplace, mumbling Joel’s name over and over.

You called her name. She didn’t hear you.

“Ellie,” you whispered, kneeling beside her. “Baby, I’m here.”

She flinched. “Don’t touch me.”

You pulled your hand back. “It’s me. It’s okay.”

She blinked. Then recognition bloomed across her face—and shame.

“I thought you were her,” she whispered. “I thought you were Abby.”

You swallowed hard and reached for her again. “You know I’m not. I’m here. I love you.”

“I know,” she rasped. “But she’s always in my head. Every time I close my eyes… Joel’s there. And she’s there. And I can't—I can’t tell what’s real anymore.”

You held her through the night. That was the first time you were scared.

The day it happened, the air was thick and still.

Ellie had barely slept. She’d been pacing the house, eyes sunken and wild. You made her tea, cooked her breakfast, tried to hold her hand. She pulled away. Her eyes kept darting to your face, then away. Like she didn’t trust what she saw.

You were standing in the hallway when it happened.

She stepped toward you, slow, trembling. “Abby…”

Your smile faltered. “Ellie, no—it’s me. Look at me.”

But she didn’t hear you.

Her pupils shrank. Her hand reached for the hunting knife on her belt.

“Ellie, please,” you begged. “It’s me. Baby, it’s me.”

You took a step forward—and she lunged.

You didn’t scream. You didn’t have time.

You tried to grab her wrist, tried to pull her back to you, but she was crying and snarling and whispering Joel’s name in broken pieces.

The pain was sudden. Hot. Blinding.

She drove the knife into your abdomen, then again—once in the side of your chest.

You collapsed, gasping, your fingers trembling against her forearm.

And then… it stopped.

She stood over you, breathing heavy. Her knife clattered to the ground.

You reached for her. She backed away. Your lips moved—one last attempt to say her name. To pull her out. But everything went still.

Ellie walked into the kitchen. Her mouth was dry, her chest heaving. She poured a glass of water and stared out the window. The sun was starting to set. The cows needed feeding. You were always reminding her.

“Babe?” she called, voice hoarse. “Hey… where’d you go?”

She checked the porch. The barn. The bedroom. The bathroom.

“Y/N?” Her voice cracked. “Where are you?”

She went outside, looked toward the trees, called again. Nothing.

Frustration twisted into worry. She began searching harder—every room, under every blanket, behind every door. Her breath quickened.

And then, slowly, she turned the corner of the hallway.

There you were.

The floor was stained. Your body lay still. The blood had stopped pooling. Her knife was inches away, still slick.

“No,” she breathed.

Her knees hit the floor. Her hands shook as she reached out—but stopped inches from your face.

“No. No. No, no—what did I… what did I—”

Her breath came out in gasps. Then sobs. Then wails.

She rocked back on her heels, knuckles pressed into her temples. Her guitar sat quietly in the corner of the living room, untouched. A song she wrote for you once still hung in the air, a ghost without a voice.

Ellie stayed there until nightfall. Curled beside you, whispering apologies that would never reach your ears.

And the house—once filled with light—fell into a silence that would never lift.

The night dragged on in pieces.

At some point, Ellie couldn’t feel her body anymore. Her knees were numb. Her hands were stained. She’d sat there for so long, staring at you, whispering things into the silence that didn’t make sense. Begging. Pleading. Bargaining with no one.

“I didn’t mean to,” she mumbled, over and over. “It wasn’t you… it wasn’t you…”

She crawled across the floor, trembling, curling her fingers into your shirt, trying to pull you close—but your body was already cold. Stiff. Heavy in a way that made her sob until her throat gave out.

“No… no, baby, come back. You’re not gone. You can’t be gone. I’ll fix it—I’ll fix it, I promise, just—please—”

She kissed your forehead like it would wake you up. She wiped at your blood like it could undo the stain. She whispered your name like it was a spell. But nothing happened.

Ellie didn’t sleep. She didn’t move.

When the morning light crept in through the windows, it touched her face—pale, swollen, dried tear tracks on her cheeks. Her lips were cracked. Her eyes were bloodshot. She hadn’t drunk the water she’d poured. The glass was still sitting on the counter, untouched. Forgotten.

She stood eventually. Only because her legs forced her to. The floor swayed under her.

She stumbled toward the mirror in the bathroom.

Her reflection stared back—wild-eyed, sunken, stained with grief. Her shirt was soaked in red. Her hands trembled as she looked at herself like she didn’t recognize the person there.

“Who are you,” she whispered. “What the fuck did you do?”

She punched the mirror. It cracked down the center.

Her knuckles split open. She didn’t flinch.

Later that day, she buried you under the tree behind the barn.

You loved that tree. You used to read beneath it, braid wildflowers into Ellie’s hair, kiss her with the sun pouring through the branches.

Now it was a grave.

She dug the hole with her bare hands, the shovel discarded after the first few strikes. She needed to feel the dirt. Needed the punishment. Her skin tore. Her nails broke. Her arms ached. She didn't stop.

When she placed you in the ground, she wrapped you in the blanket you both used to curl up in together during winter. She kissed your forehead one more time.

And then she screamed.

A sound so broken, so animal, it startled the birds from the trees.

It didn’t bring you back.

Inside the house, everything remained untouched.

Your favorite mug on the table. Your guitar pick beside hers. Your pillow still held the shape of your head.

Ellie crawled into bed that night with the same blood-stained clothes. She curled around your absence like it was still warm. She couldn’t tell where her hallucinations ended and reality began anymore.

Sometimes, she heard your voice. Sometimes, she saw your silhouette in the hallway. Sometimes, she dreamed you were still alive—and that she was dead instead.

But every time she woke up, the farmhouse was silent.

And the silence… was louder than any scream.

ultraviolence by Lana del Rey with toxic/mean/abusive!ellie who hurts reader x painslut reader who kinda loves it

Ultraviolence - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! I'm sorry this took so long, its been a while since I've written something like this, so it took me a while to get into that mindset. I hope you enjoy<3

This story is based off the song, Ultraviolence by the queen Lana Del Ray, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one:)

Warnings: toxic relationships, manipulation, cheating, reader is toxic

Summary: In which she became the person, you've always wanted

Authors note: wheeeew its been a while since I've written a fic that wasn't hcs, but I'm glad to be back!

He used to call me DN

That stood for deadly nightshade

'Cause I was filled with poison

But blessed with beauty and rage

Jim told me that

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

Jim brought me back

Reminded me of when we were kids

there was always something about Ellie.

You weren't sure if it was her dorky personality, or how she would apologize to table if she accidentally walked into it.

There was something about this girl.

And ever since you were a little girl, you knew you knw she was special. You felt like she was holding back. There was another side, you wanted to see.

You were both 7. You remembered watching Ellie, better known as four eyes because she wore massive glasses, sit alone once again. You remembered walking up to her, and asking her to play tag with you.

You still remembered the smile that spread across her face, because finally someone wanted to play with her. And since then Ellie has just always been there.

The two of you became friends. You aren't sure how, but she was always there.

You were Ellie's everything, because you were there for her during her loneliest years.

You knew how much you meant to her. You knew how much she loved you, and you took advantage of that.

Ellie's innocence and purity was something that intrigued you. You truly thought she was odd. No matter how old the two of you were, you always saw her as four eyes.

Nothing more than that. There was no romantic feelings from your side.

Ellie was everything you weren't.

She was sweet, kind, loveable.

But you were sick. A sick twisted individual who took advantage, of someone like Ellie.

But who could blame you?

Ellie was attractive, strong, financially stable, and well you were someone who saw the opportunity.

So it was actually Ellies fault.

She should've not trusted you so easily. She should've not let you in. Ellie brought this upon herself.

With his ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

Ultraviolence

I can hear sirens, sirens

He hit me and it felt like a kiss

I can hear violins, violins

Give me all of that ultraviolence

you didn't know when it all started.

You weren't sure when you developed this "kink".

Was this a disease? Or were you just fucking weird?

In 11th grade you remember your teaching yelling at you for failing a another test. You were called "pathetic", a "failure".

Most people would cry due to humiliation, but you couldn't help but feel your thighs clench together.

You thought you were weird. This was fucking sick honestly.

You went out of your way to make people mad, so that they would yell at you. To degrade you to an extent.

god you loved it.

Ellie had asked you to be her girlfriend when the two of you were 18. You took pity on her.

She was so soft. So naïve.

Ellie had no place being with someone like you. Someone who craves to be hurt. You were a painslut and Ellie, poor Ellie wasn't. She wouldn't be able to do that to you.

You were trapped in a relationship, where it was healthy. It felt safe. You enjoyed it sometimes, but there was one thing your heart craved. And maybe the thing Ellie was holding back was it.

You wanted to leave Ellie, until that one night.

The two of you were at a party, and Ellie was drunk out of her mind. You don't even know what she saw, or who said what but she was really fucking mad.

"You're fucking cheating on me bitch" Ellie slurred as she pointed her finger at you. You licked your lips at the insult, at the aggression, she spoke.

Focus.

"Ellie you're drunk, i didn't do anything"

"give me your phone"

"Ellie-"

"I'm not asking again" she yelled.

Fuck yes. This is what you want.

You handed her the phone, and you watched as she searched and she found nothing. She threw your phone across the room, you flinched slightly.

god she's so hot.

Ellie got up and grabbed your arm, bringing you close to her face, you smelt the alcohol in her breath.

She looked at you with dark eyes, before uttering "Don't ever think of cheating on me" she let go of your arm.

She grabbed you and it felt like a kiss.

When Ellie woke up the next morning, she couldn't remember a thing.

She was back to being herself. You wanted her back. You needed her again.

You realized, she was drunk. You couldn't keep her under the influence forever, just because you liked that version of her.

After that night you knew she was hiding a part of herself from you.

Drunk words are sober thoughts they say.

So maybe deep down she was actually toxic. Maybe she was the person you craved.

All you had to do was to figure out, how to get through to her.

He used to call me poison

Like I was poison ivy

I could've died right then

'Cause he was right beside me

Jim raised me up

He hurt me but it felt like true love

Jim taught me that

Loving him was never enough

you were like poison.

Destroying anything in your path. Infecting those with your poison.

After that night you realized Ellie's biggest insecurity was that you would leave her. And you used it to your advantage.

Of course you had to, how else would've you got what you wanted?

You would flirt with other people in front of her. You would talk to other girls, send them pictures. You did whatever it took. You were practically cheating on her.

You knew she would never leave you.

And you watched as Ellie slowly disintegrate into madness.

There was no more happy, go lucky Ellie. There was no more smiles. No more care free days.

Ellie lived in fear. You were out of her league. She knew she was going to lose you.

If you were by her side and Ellie could die peacefully. You taught her how to love and how to be a better person.

If you left what would become of her?

Everything went down hill. Ellie started taking your phone. She became more aggressive with her words.

The lovely girl you once knew was gone. You killed the old her. And the person she was becoming was someone you've always dreamed of.

You had a curfew, and when you came home late it would end in her insulting you.

"Who else are you fucking huh? You're practically showing the world your whole body"

you lived a life of fights, make up sex, and jealousy.

You loved every fucking second of it.

She was hurting you and it felt like true love.

I love you the first time

I love you the last time

Yo soy la princesa, comprende mis white lines

'Cause I'm your jazz singer

And you're my cult leader

I love you forever

I love you forever

Ellie loved you, and you loved her.

You love her today, tomorrow and for the rest of your lives.

Ellie became the women you would choose in every lifetime.

Ellie was your leader. The person you would finally follow.

You love Ellie. You'd love her for eternity.

It was truly a sickining thing, you were doing to the poor girl, but God you were selfish. You wanted it all. All the insults, pain, negativity. You craved it.

For the sake of this relationship, you hoped Ellie stayed as toxic as she did.