Do You Have A Material List? 

Hi love would you mind making a part for professor!ellie where reader is pregnant again OR when their daughter grows up ?

Amazing work btw

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

☆ Aurora’s favorite thing to do is sit on Ellie’s lap during her late-night grading sessions, asking questions like, “Are your students as smart as me?”

☆ She wears glasses just like Ellie now—reader thinks they’re twins.

☆ Aurora mimics Ellie’s mannerisms, like adjusting her glasses when she’s nervous or tilting her head when thinking.

☆ She already knows how to read short paragraphs and corrects people’s grammar—even Ellie’s, which makes her beam with pride.

☆ Aurora's drawings always include three people—Mama, Mommy, and her—but now a fourth baby blob is starting to appear in the corner labeled “Arny.”

☆ When you went into labor, Aurora tried to pack her own bag “to help,” which included crayons, a banana, and Ellie’s old lecture clicker.

☆ Ellie sometimes brings Aurora to campus events. She introduces her proudly with “This is my daughter. She’s smarter than my entire first-year class.”

☆ Aurora makes Ellie bracelets from string and demands she wear them even during lectures. She always does.

☆ Aurora asks science questions constantly. Ellie answers all of them with a whiteboard and diagrams.

☆ You once walked in on Aurora “lecturing” her stuffed animals, using Ellie’s tone exactly.

☆ Ellie writes down Aurora’s quotes in a leather-bound “Aurora Archive” journal.

☆ She refers to Ellie as “the smartest person alive” and you as “the prettiest.”

☆ Aurora’s handwriting practice turned into a full essay on why “Mommy Ellie is too bossy, but I still love her.”

☆ Ellie was obsessively thorough about the IVF process, reading every published study on embryo grading, success rates, and maternal health. She made color-coded charts for each clinic they considered.

☆ The decision to have a second child came after Aurora turned five, when she looked up at them one night and asked, “Why don’t I have a baby brother or sister?”

☆ Ellie wanted a boy this time, not because she loved Aurora any less, but because she was fascinated by how different he might be — still theirs, but uniquely his own.

☆ You carried Arnold, just like with Aurora, and Ellie was even more attentive this time—bringing snacks, checking nutrient levels, monitoring stress like a hawk.

☆ You used the same donor, ensuring Arnold and Aurora were biologically related, and Ellie cried when they found out the embryo had successfully implanted.

☆ Ellie held her breath during every scan, gripping your hand tightly until they saw that tiny heartbeat flicker on the screen.

☆ At home, Ellie converted her study into a nursery months before it was needed, painting it a rich forest green and hanging hand-painted space-themed art on the walls.

☆ She read academic articles aloud to your belly, mumbling about epigenetics and language development, hoping Arnold would be a little genius like his sister.

☆ Aurora would whisper secrets to her unborn brother, telling him what not to do so “Mama doesn’t freak out.”

☆ You and Ellie filmed short video diaries for Arnold, each one ending with Aurora saying, “Hurry up and come out, dummy.”

☆ Your pregnancy with Arnold was harder than Aurora’s — more nausea, more exhaustion — and Ellie handled everything from meals to laundry to carrying you to bed if you fell asleep on the couch.

☆ Ellie barely slept the night you went into labor, pacing in circles around their bedroom and triple-checking the hospital bag every 10 minutes.

☆ When Arnold was born, Ellie was the first to cry, trembling as she cut the umbilical cord and kissed your sweaty forehead, whispering, “You did it. He’s here.”

☆ Arnold was a quiet baby—unlike his fiery older sister—and when the nurse handed him to Ellie, he blinked up at her with wide, moss-green eyes.

☆ Aurora was the first to hold Arnold after them, sitting carefully on the hospital bed, her small arms wrapped awkwardly around her baby brother, declaring, “He smells weird. But he’s cute.”

☆ Ellie took an extended sabbatical from the university, something she never did for herself, but did without hesitation for Arnold and you.

☆ She kept a detailed baby log, recording every feeding, nap, and developmental milestone like it was groundbreaking research. (“He smiled at 4 weeks. Do you know how rare that is?”)

☆ You would often find Ellie in the middle of the night, swaying gently in the rocking chair with Arnold on her chest, whispering about constellations and music theory.

☆ Aurora helped with diaper changes, read bedtime stories to Arnold (whether he was awake or not), and told everyone at school, “I have a brother. He’s gonna be smarter than all of you.”

☆ Ellie constantly takes pictures of the three of you—you nursing, Aurora playing peekaboo, Arnold asleep on Ellie’s chest. She prints them, dates them, and keeps them in a growing archive labeled The Love We Made.

☆ Arnold has Ellie wrapped around his tiny fingers already—she holds him like he’s made of glass.

☆ She was an emotional wreck the day he was born, whispering “You’re here. You’re real,” over and over.

☆ Ellie sobbed in the hospital bathroom, clutching a photo of Aurora and trying to calm her nerves before holding Arnold for the first time.

☆ She made laminated feeding/diapering schedules and color-coded copies for both reader and herself.

☆ Ellie insisted on staying awake every night at first. You had to force her to rest by dragging her to bed.

☆ Her obsession with checking his breathing every 20 minutes has led to installing four different monitors.

☆ Ellie reads academic articles to him during nap time—“gotta start the kid early.”

☆ His nursery is space-themed. Ellie picked every star and constellation herself and even made a mobile from scratch.

☆ She prints out graphs of his growth and annotates them.

☆ You caught Ellie softly kissing Arnold’s forehead while murmuring, “I’ll protect you forever. I promise.”

☆ She calls him “my little theory” because she wants to “test how much love a person can feel before they combust.”

☆ Ellie holds Arnold for hours while writing lectures one-handed, content even if it takes twice as long.

☆ She talks about him constantly at work—“Sorry my email’s late. My son drooled on my laptop.”

☆ Ellie insisted on giving him a middle name that references a philosopher—Arnold Pascal Williams.

☆ She puts little leather-bound books in his crib for aesthetic photos.

☆ Ellie made a password-protected photo archive titled “Arnold Growth Logs.”

☆ She has framed side-by-side ultrasound pictures of Aurora and Arnold on her office wall.

☆ You found Ellie singing lullabies in Hebrew and Latin just for “academic diversity.”

☆ She’s more patient with Arnold than she’s ever been with anyone.

☆ Ellie’s phone is overloaded with baby pics—she has a folder just labeled “Arnsmol.”

☆ She wrote a 10-page email to the pediatrician just asking about sleep regression.

☆ Ellie gets extremely possessive when someone other than you or Aurora holds Arnold.

☆ Her glasses fog up when she gets overwhelmed watching both kids together.

☆ Arnold’s first smile made Ellie go silent for ten minutes, then cry like a waterfall.

☆ She lowkey competes with you over who Arnold calms down with faster.

☆ She stares at you when she’s breastfeeding, completely mesmerized.

☆ Ellie reads textbooks on postpartum care so she can understand everything reader is experiencing.

☆ She canceled her own faculty conference trip because Arnold had a cold.

☆ Ellie redesigned her lecture schedule so she never misses bedtime for either child.

☆ Ellie’s gone full mama bear—she snapped at a stranger who called Arnold “it.”

☆ She started a private blog documenting her “Motherhood and Academia” journey, but only you have the link.

☆ Ellie sometimes forgets to eat if the baby’s crying—but never forgets to feed him.

☆ You teases Ellie about her “unofficial PhD in parenting.” Ellie secretly loves it.

☆ Arnold’s first laugh made Ellie record five videos trying to recreate the sound.

☆ She leaves love notes inside your breast pump bag.

☆ She wants to homeschool both kids—your not fully convinced yet.

☆ Ellie smells Arnold’s head constantly. Says it’s “baby serotonin.”

☆ Ellie cried when Aurora said “Arnold is my best friend forever.”

☆ She’s started humming lullabies even while writing lectures now.

☆ She talks to Arnold about how they’ll build rockets or dissect frogs together someday.

☆ Ellie calls Aurora and Arnold her “entire thesis on love.”

☆ She still panics during diaper changes—even though she’s read three parenting books.

☆ Ellie smells like baby lotion, chalkboard dust, and coffee now.

☆ Her voice softens immediately when either kid cries.

☆ Ellie doodles tiny versions of Aurora and Arnold in her margins during meetings.

☆ Ellie sometimes stares at you and just whispers, “How did I get this lucky?”

☆ She tells Arnold he looks like you, then whispers, “thank god.”

☆ Ellie calls their family of four “the most important study she’ll ever conduct.”

Can we please get some milf Abby or Ellie the lesbians who like older women are in a drought

💘

Headcannons: milf!abby anderson x reader

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

☆ Milf Abby who was divorced and who had full custody of her 4-year-old daughter.

☆ Milf Abby who worked as a lawyer and got her daughter into the best schools.

☆ Milf Abby who went to a parent teacher meeting, to meet her daughters’ new teacher.

☆ Milf Abby who met you for the first time and thought you were the prettiest thing she’d ever seen.

☆ Milf Abby who stood behind everyone else because you made her shy.

☆ Milf Abby whose palms felt sweaty when you walked close to the direction where she was standing.

☆ Milf Abby whose heart rate increased when you asked the parents “any questions?” with a smile.

☆ Milf Abby who went home that night and stared at the ceiling because she just saw an angel.

☆ Milf Abby who asks her daughter about you the next morning.

“What’s she like?” Abby asked as she placed the plate of scrambled eggs in front of Aubrey.

“she’s nice” the little girl started. “she always likes my drawings, and she tells funny stories!”

A small smile appeared on Abby’s face.

Pretty and funny, huh?

“she’s pretty too” Aubrey said with her mouth full off eggs. Abby chuckled at that.

“Your right baby, she is”

☆ Milf Abby who almost shit herself when Aubrey told you that she finds you pretty.

“You did what?” Abby said frantically.

“I told my teacher that you said she was pretty”

Abby groaned, her large hand coming to rub her temples.

“Baby you aren’t supposed to tell that to people, it was a secret”

“Yeah, it was red ones”

“But Heathers dad brought her flowers, and that’s not a secret”

“what?”

“roses?”

“I think so” she spoke

☆ Milf Abby who gets jealous even though she barley knows anything about you.

☆ Milf Abby who watches Heathers dad bring you snacks almost daily when she picks up Aubrey.

☆ Milf Abby who wants to vomit every time you smile at him.

☆ Milf Abby who realizes she had to make a move.

☆ Milf Abby who was nervous because it’s been a while since she’s asked someone on a date.

☆ Milf Abby who writes you a letter and sends it with her daughter.

“My mommy sent you this” Aubrey ran to you with a white envelope. You thanked her, as you opened the letter, eyes widening at what it had to say:

“Hi, are you Tennessee because you’re the only ten I see.

I’m sorry I know that was inappropriate I didn’t know what to say.

Would you like to go on a date with me? I promise no cheesy pickup lines”

☆ Milf Abby who almost jumps out of her car when she sees you walking towards her.

☆ Milf Abby who rolls down the window and tries to act cool.

“Sup” she said, but soon cringed.

You giggled “I’d love to go on a date with you Miss Anderson”

“Call me Abby”

“Abby… I’d love to go out with you”

A grin spread onto the blondes face.

“Friday?”

“Friday”

☆ Milf Abby who fist bumps the air because she’s just that excited.

☆ Milf Abby who almost cancelled because she was so nervous.

☆ Milf Abby who asks her 4-year-old outfit advice.

“What about this?”

“No”

“Aubrey you can’t keep saying no”

“But I don’t like it”

☆ Milf Abby who kisses her daughter goodbye as she bought you a bigger bouquet of roses.

☆ Milf Abby who takes you to a fancy restaurant to impress you.

☆ Milf Abby who finds out you were 20 years younger than her.

Abby blinked a couple of times at the information.

“26?”

“yeah… do I not look my age you?” you asked with a raised eyebrow.

“You really don’t”

☆ Milf Abby who enjoys the date more than she intended to.

☆ Milf Abby who almost combusts when you gave her a kiss on the cheek.

☆ Milf Abby who goes home that night in denial that she liked someone so young.

Age is nothing but a number, but you were years younger. What were you doing with someone like her? Why her? Why not someone your age? What happens if Abby grows so old that you become bored?

☆ Milf Abby who ghosts you for 5 months.

☆ Milf Abby who avoids looking at you when she gets her daughter from school.

☆ Milf Abby who ignores your texts because she thought you deserve someone better.

☆ Milf Abby’s daughter who gave her an awaking.

“Can you stop crying at night mommy? It makes noise”

Abby looked up from the stove.

“you hear that?”

“Yes”

A few seconds of silence passed before Aubrey spoke again. “You made my teacher sad”

“she’s sad?”

“yes and she asked me about you”

“and what did you say?”

“Nothing, you said it was a secret” Abby groaned at Aubrey’s response

“you need to stop pushing people away because you’re insecure”

Abby looked at Aubrey with wide eyes.

She was right, because Abby was so insecure she’s losing a perfect girl because she was scared. How sure was she that you would leave her? How sure was she that you were only using her? Maybe you were the one.

“Where did you hear those words?”

“from grandpa” she said with a shoulder shrug.

“He said that to Nora”

Your back was facing the door as you were writing something on the board.

“of course he did”

☆ Milf Abby who goes to your classroom the next day with flowers.

“I’m sorry” she spoke. She watched you flinched as you turned around.

“what?”

“I’m sorry for just disappearing and not saying anything”

“ok” was all you said as you turned back around to continue writing.

Abby walked towards you with long strides.

“no- no don’t say ok please- give me a chance”

she watched you sigh as you turned around:

“look Miss Anderson-“

“Abby”

“Miss Anderson” you said through gritted teeth.

“It’s ok, this should have not happened”

“Don’t say that”

“Let’s move on, I’ll pretend this never happened” you said with a fake smile on your face.

“god you’re so-“  before Abby could even finish her sentence she grabbed your face, and caught your lips in a kiss.

☆ Milf Abby who was surprised when you kissed her back.

☆ Milf Abby who whimpered when you pulled away.

“What can I do to fix this?” she spoke as she held your face.

“take me out on a date again”

a smile spread on the blondes face: “yeah I’ll do that”

☆ Milf Abby who realizes you won’t make it easy for her.

☆ Milf Abby who was willing to work for this relationship because you were worth it.

Brooklyn baby - (ellie williams x reader)

based off this request, but I had to post it separately cuz Tumblr is glitching again:(

This story is based off the song Brooklyn baby by Lana Del Rey, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading :)

Pairing: band!ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one, or just send me a song, and I'll take it from there or it can be headcannos! Or whatever you're thinking about! Just a reminder if you want something specific to happen, please indicate what you want in your request:)

Warnings: toxic relationships and manipulation

Summary: In which you were dating the world famous Ellie Williams

Well, my boyfriend's in a band

He plays guitar while I sing Lou Reed

I've got feathers in my hair

I get down to Beat poetry

And my jazz collection's rare

I can play most anything

I'm a Brooklyn baby

I'm a Brooklyn baby

Ellie was bound to be a star.

When Joel first taught her how to play guitar, he knew.

She was going to do great things, and everyone knew it too.

Ellie's first school concert was when she was 7 years old. She had guitar classes and her teacher was so impressed with her that she had Ellie do a solo.

As soon as Ellie got on that stage, it was as if she took control of the room in an instant. Everyone was so enchanted by her and everything she did.

Ellie was 17 years old when a producer reached out to her. Joel wasn't surprised because he knew his girl, and he knew one way or another that she would be a star.

And a star she became.

As soon as she turned 18, Ellie immediately signed the contract and she climbed the ranks in the music industry very quickly.

Within 3 months Ellies first single reached over a 100 thousand listens, and she was in high demand.

Everyone wanted her for brand promotions, they wanted the use her music.

Ellie was taking the music industry by a storm.

As the years went by, Ellie went from a solo artist, to being in a band with 2 best friends, Dina and Jesse.

They were called the golden trio, and because Ellie was the face of it they surpassed massive artists within days.

Now six years later, Ellie sat in her dressing room, as she heard the crowd chant her name.

Ellie! Ellie! Ellie!

She heard a knock on her door and she yelled a quick: "come in!"

As the door opened you walked in, and you walked towards her giving her a quick peck before whispering "you're on in 5 babe".

Ellie gave you another kiss, as she got up, walking to the mirror quickly fixing her outfit for a second.

"Do I look ok?" Ellie asked as she looked at herself in the mirror.

She was wearing a white wife beater, and a pair of black jeans, her hair was in a ponytails and her fingernails were painted black.

Ellie felt your arms wrap around her from behind.

"You look great, now go break leg baby!" You whispered before giving her a kiss on the side of her neck.

Ellie pulled away with a smile before she reached down to grab her guitar.

"Let's go!" She heard Jesse yell.

As she stood backstage, the chants grew louder and louder.

Ellie! Ellie! Ellie!

They repeated her name as if it was a prayer. Her fans worshiped the ground she walked on.

Even though they were the golden trio, Ellie would always be the one that out shines everyone.

Ellie walked onto the stage, the bright lights were shining into her face as the crowd erupted in screams and cries.

Ellie walked to the microphone with a massive grin, as she slinged the guitar to her front. She held the microphone as she spoke.

"Good evening Brooklyn!"

The crowd was yelling as if it was their last night alive.

Ellie yelled a quick "let's fucking do this!"

As the she brought her fingers down the strum the guitar.

Jesse started playing the drums, and Dina, her backup singer started with the back up vocals.

The crowd sang along and Ellie couldn't help but smile as she saw all that she had accomplished. She was thankful for everything that everyone had done for her over the years.

But she knew she wouldn't have come this far if it wasn't for you.

They say I'm too young to love you

They say I'm too dumb to see

They judge me like a picture book

By the colors, like they forgot to read

I think we're like fire and water

I think we're like the wind and sea

You're burnin' up, I'm coolin' down

You're up, I'm down

You're blind, I see

When you and Ellie fell in love, the two of you were only 15. Everyone always told you that you and Ellie would never last. That you were too young. But yet the two of you stayed together years later.

You were never as talented as Ellie.

Where she could flourish in room filled with people, you would shy away and hide a corner.

You've always wanted to be famous. You remembered when you younger you used to watch people blow up, and wish it was you.

You wished that you could be in the spot light. But for some reason you couldn't do anything to achieve that.

You were the complete opposite of Ellie. And because you were so shy you missed so many opportunities, and you hated yourself for that.

You met Ellie when you were 9 and you fucking hated her. She was everything you were not.

She was attractive, good at playing multiple instruments and she could sing. There was no way you would be able to beat or to come close to the Ellie Williams.

But where Ellie failed, you excelled. Ellie wasn't good with organization, or management. She was quite clumsy, to be honest.

And as soon as you guys became friends you helped her. You helped her make a schedule, you helped her make posters, you helped her with everything.

The two of you were an unstoppable duo.

Where Ellie was on fire or nervous, you would always calm her down, and put out whatever she got herself into.

When Ellie told you she liked you, you knew this was a way to get in. A way to get into the industry. Ellie was your key to success, and when you agreed to date her everything became better.

She hired you as her manager, and you had control over everything.

Her reputation, what she posted, who she saw, her finances. You were in control of Ellie and she didn't even realize.

You were going to be successful, and Ellie was the perfect person to use for your plan.

I'm talking about my generation

Talking about that newer nation

And if you don't like it, you can beat it

Beat it, baby

You never liked the way I said it

If you don't get it, then forget it

Cause I don't have to fuckin' explain it

Your plan started as soon as Ellie signed the contract.

The first step was for you to become her manager and that was the easiest thing ever due to Ellie always choosing you.

She would've left that company if they didn't let her have you.

As soon as you were in control, you realized that you had to get Ellie as out there as possible.

You arranged photoshoots, and interviews and you pushed her to the limit.

At some point in Ellie's career, she took a dip. She struggled, to write songs, she struggled to do anything.

You were loosing money and you hated that.

And on one random winter night it hit you.

You needed to hurt Ellie.

You loved her, but you were never in love with her. You cared, but you loved money more.

It started with small comments, such as:

"work harder" and "you can do better" and soon after you realized that manipulating her was the best way to about this whole situation.

You convinced her, that all her friends apart from the golden trio hated her.

"Ellie they are just using you. They'll never support you, like I do"

She cut ties with all of them and she wrote beautiful songs from the heartache, of loosing her dearest friends.

You made hate accounts on social media that focused on making fun of her insecurities. And with that more and more songs came out.

You were hurting her, but it was only temporary. Hurt is temporary, money will last you a lifetime.

You'll do anything to get what you want, and nothing and no one suspected you.

How could they? You were the love of Ellies life. The person she wrote most of her songs about.

But little did Ellie know you were the reason most of her songs even happened in the first place.

Without you, Ellie would've been nothing.

And you thank god that he gave you such an easy target.

Yeah, my boyfriend's pretty cool

But he's not as cool as me

'Cause I'm a Brooklyn baby

I'm a Brooklyn baby

"Did I do good?" Ellie whisperd as she lay on your chest.

"Could've been better" you lied. She was brilliant as always. But you realized that if you break Ellie down, her music would be better.

She would have more drive, to record and to sing, and to make money. Her hurt is what made you money.

More money, and more recognition for you as her manager.

Ellie let out a sigh.

"Are you sure I should continue singing? Recently you've been disappointed in me and I don't think that's good from a professional point of view" she admitted.

Ellie would always say things like this. Sometimes, the things you would day does get to her. And I hurts, it fucking hurts. But she never saw you as bad person. You were only there to help she would say.

"Don't be sensitive Ellie" you said as you pushed her off your chest.

Ellie sat up immediately with her eyes wide.

"If you stop singing who's gonna pay the bills?" You started.

"Do you want me to end up on the street..? Remember it'll be your fault I something happens to me"

Ellie quickly shook her head.

"No, god- no,... I don't want anything to happen to you" she said.

"Then you better stop thinking about quitting, and so as I say. After all I'm you're manager-"

"and you know what's best" Ellie finished your sentence with a smile.

You gave her a smile back before you opened your arms towards her, gesturing, with your hands that she lay down.

Ellie quickly crawled back into your lap, as she lay her head back down onto your chest.

"Sorry" she spoke softly.

"Don't be sorry" you muttered as you ran your fingers through her hair.

"Just go out there and make me proud... i love you, ok?" You spoke gently as Ellie closed her eyes and hummed.

Yeah, you might been dating a superstar, but she would never outshine you.

You would always be better than Ellie. Even if it wasn't on stage.

Authors note: thank you sm for all the requests! My inbox is full of them so just know I'm working harder than the devil himself to get all of these out! Remember you are loved and to always be kind!

Yours truly,

Zia:)

Omg I love how possessive you made Dina it should be the norm

firstly thank you! secondly real!!!! All the Dina fics are so sweet but i do imagine her as possessive in some areas.

WE NEED MORE POSSESIVE DINA!!!!!

𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫: 𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘴 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

This story is not based off a song! It’s my own little idea :)

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: Jackson!ellie x fem reader

Remember requests are always open! Feel free to leave one!

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: mentions of death, suicide, overall depressing themes

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: What’s the point of living, if you aren’t by her side?

Ellie lay on her back with her eyes closed. The sun shining on her pale and freckled skin. She hummed at the feeling of the grass scraping against her arms. The soft sound of water gushing could be heard from below her, as the two of you lay on a hill, she couldn’t be happier. She was away from Jackson. Away from everything and everyone. And the love of her life lay next to her. Ellie smiled softly just thinking of you. This is what she has always wanted. To be with you, in a beautiful place far away from everything. She loved you more than anything. All Ellie wanted to do is keep you safe, and moving as far away from people and most living things was the best option in her eyes. The safest option. If the two of you were this far away from any infected and people you both would be safe.

Ellie’s thoughts of keeping you safe were interrupted by a soft whisper of her name. She turned her head to look at you, and you were already looking at her. Ellie gave you a soft smile, taking in your features. You’ve been together for years but fuck, you were beautiful. She wasn’t lying when she said you were the prettiest girl she had ever seen. Every time she looked at you, was like she’s seeing you for the first time all over again. She always wondered how she got lucky by getting someone like you. You were way out of her league.

You and Ellie lay there just looking at each other for a while, before you spoke up

“You know, you have to let go of me”

“I can’t”

“Ellie” you said, your tone sounding desperate and frustrated. You sat up and Ellie followed you by sitting up as well, you rubbed your hands across your face and you let out a sigh. Ellie gently put her hand on your shoulder.

“Please” you whispered, voice barley above whisper. “I can’t rest in peace” you continued your sentence

“You aren’t dead” Ellie said quickly

“I am”

“No you’re not” Ellie said loudly, tears running down her face as she got up and looked down at you

You looked up at her and gave her an apologetic smile “Ellie wake up”

“Baby please”

“Ellie wake up’

Ellie sat up in her bed covered in cold sweat and tears. It was dream. A fucking dream. Ellie laid back down with a huff, and turned to your side of the bed. She let out loud broken sobs as she reached out to grab your pillow and she held it to her chest sobbing.

3 months ago you and Ellie had got married. It was a beautiful ceremony, and you both were surrounded by your friends and family. It was everything Ellie dreamed of. Your wedding reminded her of all those wedding magazines she always saw when she was out on runs. She never imagined, that she would ever get married. Until she met you. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with you.

3 days after the wedding tragedy struck. Ellie hated it when you went on patrol, but they were short on people due to both Ellie and Jesse being sick. Ellie had a gut feeling that morning when she woke up. Something was wrong. But she pushed the feeling aside, not wanting to upset herself. Later that day Ellie went to the gates of Jackson to wait for you. She got into her best outfit and used some 22-year-old perfume. The high of being married has not run out yet and she planned to take you out that night. She still couldn’t believe it; you’ve been married for 3 whole days.

As Ellie made her way to the gate, paramedics were running to the gate, and her heart dropped at the sight. She saw people running to you. Your lifeless body laid there. Bruised. Bleeding. It was very obvious you were not breathing. And there was blood everywhere.

Tears fell from her eyes as she reached out to grab you, but Tommy held Ellie back as the paramedics were trying to resuscitate you.

Ellie screamed, she fought Tommy. She did everything to make him let go of her but she couldn’t, his grip was too strong.

Ellie watched as they tried. “Please baby” she begged over and over again. Broken sobs and sentences left her lips. Please just get up.  It felt like an eternity, but at some point they stood up. The paramedics gave Ellie an apologetic smile and apologized saying there was nothing they could do to save you. As soon as they said that Ellie’s world came crashing down.

As the months went by, Ellie lost herself. She doesn’t eat she doesn’t sleep. She can’t do anything but cry. She had no purpose. No one to look after. She felt worthless. Lonely. She felt lost without you. She was not going to move on. You were the only one for her. Ellie slowly walked to the bathroom, pained by all the memories this house has of you. Ellie didn’t want to live without you. There was no point.

Ellie spent that day with her family. And she was happy. Content. She made a choice. And she was happy with her decision. As she bid her goodbyes, the Millers watched her walk home.

“Don’t you think she was a little too happy?” Joel asked concerned about Ellie’s behavior.

“No, I don’t think so” Maria commented

 “Just be happy for her she’s healing” she added

Joel just nodded Maria’s words. There was definitely something wrong with Ellie.

Ellie laid on her side of the bed holding your pillow. She smiled at a picture of you, that was on the wall. Ellie’s eyes drifted from the photo, to an empty pill bottle.

“I’ll join you soon baby” she whispered.

“Not even death can separate us”

And those were the last words Ellie Williams ever said.

Her body was found two days later. As sad as it was, Joel knew how much she loved you. He knew she wouldn’t be able to live without you. All Joel hopes, is that if there is a god out there, that he put you two together. That you and Ellie spent eternity together. Because that’s all Ellie wanted. Ellie wanted to be with you forever. No matter who or what it takes, no matter who she had to hurt, she was going to be with you forever.

Authors note: Thank you so much for reading! Remember you are loved and to always spread kindness. If you have any requests or ideas feel free to let me know!

Yours truly,

Zia:)

YOU’RE BACKK

I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM

Can u write reader and professor ellie taking care of Aurora while she’s on her period😭or like how they reacted and managed with her when she started being a teen

I love the professor ellie series!!💜💜

Headcannons: professor!ellie williams x reader

masterlist

professor ellie masterlist

☆ Ellie notices something’s off before Aurora even tells anyone—her daughter’s unusually quiet, subdued, curled up on the couch with a heat pack she likely snuck from the bathroom.

☆ She pauses mid-lecture grading when she gets a text from you: “Aurora got her period. She wants to talk to you too.” Ellie nearly drops her pen.

☆ Ellie rushes home, barely bothering to organize her research notes. She finds Aurora in bed, flushed and moody, and her heart breaks in the softest way.

☆ “My baby’s growing up,” Ellie whispers under her breath as she kneels beside Aurora’s bed, brushing her hair out of her face.

☆ Aurora is embarrassed, but Ellie makes it all scientific. She talks about hormones, menstruation as a biological marvel, how it’s a sign of health and maturity—her academic comfort zone.

☆ But behind the calm, Ellie is spiraling. She hugs you that night tighter than usual, muttering, “She was just in diapers. I remember the hospital smell.”

☆ Ellie becomes overly meticulous, ordering a dozen types of eco-friendly pads and period underwear. “We should get her a menstrual tracking journal. Actually, I’ll design one. I’ll code the app.”

☆ You catch her staring at Aurora’s baby pictures that night, eyes glassy. “She used to sleep on my chest every night,” she murmurs. “Now she barely wants a hug.”

☆ Ellie insists on giving Aurora a full menstrual health crash course—whiteboard diagrams, booklets she prints out herself. Aurora begs her to stop.

☆ “You are a miracle of biology,” Ellie tells Aurora proudly, cupping her face. “Do you understand how powerful this makes you?”

☆ She accidentally calls it Aurora’s “menarche” one too many times before Aurora yells from the bathroom, “Stop calling it that, Mom!”

☆ Ellie tries to make it celebratory. She buys her daughter her favorite dessert and a bouquet of red roses. Aurora is horrified. You laugh. Ellie sulks.

☆ At night, Ellie overthinks. “What if she gets cramps like you did? What if she misses school? What if the boys—”

☆ “I swear if a boy says something dumb to her, I will break the school board in half,” Ellie hisses to you while brushing her teeth.

☆ She starts leaving small care packages in Aurora’s room: chocolate, heat packs, handwritten notes that say “You’re stronger than you feel.”

☆ She writes in her research journal about it—“Transgenerational development of daughters: the maternal lens of biological transition.”

☆ Ellie pulls out your old pregnancy journals, the ones you kept when Aurora was in your belly, and reads them late at night.

☆ She becomes more protective than ever. Any eye roll from Aurora is met with quiet over-analysis. “Is it hormones? Did I do something wrong?”

☆ She talks to Arnold too. “Your sister might be more sensitive right now. You have to be patient. Gentle.” Arnold, chewing cereal, goes, “Okay. Can I still prank her?”

☆ Ellie insists on giving Aurora a key to a “quiet box” of supplies in her office, in case she ever gets her period at school. “Biological emergencies require strategic preparedness.”

☆ Ellie writes a personal letter to Aurora she hides in a journal: it’s emotional, raw, academic, filled with references to feminist theory and the sacredness of menstruation. Aurora won’t find it for years.

☆ She clings to you that week. Every time Aurora slams a door or retreats into music, Ellie comes to you like she’s been stabbed. “Tell me she still needs me.”

☆ Ellie creates a folder on her computer called “Aurora - Adolescence: Phase I.” It contains spreadsheets tracking patterns and emotional shifts.

☆ She’s emotional watching Aurora brush her own hair, apply lip gloss, and adjust her hoodie like a woman. “She looks like you,” she whispers to you.

☆ “It’s not just her growing up,” Ellie finally admits one night. “It’s the countdown. Soon she’ll be gone. It’s like…I’m losing time.”

☆ Arnold feels a little left out. Ellie is hyper-focused on Aurora, and he starts intentionally acting sillier to get her attention.

☆ He pretends to be sick so he can stay home too. Ellie sees right through it, but hugs him anyway and lets him stay.

☆ Ellie gives Arnold “brother missions”—small tasks like heating up Aurora’s hot water bottle or picking her favorite snacks.

☆ She builds his confidence by reminding him he’s the little man of the house—while also telling him, “Never assume you understand a woman’s pain.”

☆ Ellie starts a “boys growing up” project for Arnold—teaching him hygiene, boundaries, and how to talk about emotions. She pulls research from three parenting psychology journals.

☆ Aurora slaps his arm one day when he teases her. Ellie pulls them both aside for a long talk about mutual respect and hormonal volatility. They both groan in sync.

☆ Arnold is the first one to tell Ellie when Aurora starts crying at a commercial. “Mom, she’s leaking from her eyes again. Help?”

☆ Ellie starts planning more one-on-one time with Arnold, taking him to museums, science fairs, or just letting him help with her university lectures.

☆ Arnold asks if girls are going to be “weird forever.” Ellie gives him a 20-minute TED Talk. He regrets asking.

☆ Ellie sets up a whiteboard in the kitchen with color-coded schedules: Aurora’s cycle (secretly coded), Arnold’s soccer, your appointments. It looks like a military base.

☆ Ellie uses every chance to teach emotional awareness. When Arnold asks, “Is Aurora dying?” Ellie goes, “No, buddy. She’s blooming.”

☆ You notice that Ellie gets more clingy with Arnold too—like she’s subconsciously bracing for him growing up next. She kisses his hair constantly.

☆ Ellie insists they both watch “Turning Red” together. She ends up crying harder than Aurora or Arnold.

☆ Ellie buys a book titled “Parenting Emotional Teens and Tactical Preteens.” She highlights every other page and forces you to read it.

☆ When Aurora teases Arnold about still sleeping with his stuffed dino, Ellie snaps: “He can do that until college. Leave him alone.”

☆ You find her staring wistfully at a baby in the grocery store. “That smell. That tiny head. Look how the mother holds them,” she murmurs like she’s hypnotized.

☆ Aurora’s transition makes Ellie acutely aware of the passage of time. “It went so fast. I missed so much.”

☆ Ellie asks you, gently, cautiously, “Would you ever… want to do it again?”

☆ She starts bringing up embryo storage again—talking about the ones you froze during Aurora and Arnold’s IVF rounds.

☆ She even looks into donor matches, mapping out compatibility charts late at night with that hyper-focused intensity in her eyes.

☆ Ellie watches old videos of you pregnant. She pauses every time the camera pans to her—how young she looked, how in love.

☆ “We were just kids,” she says, her fingers tracing the laptop screen. “Look at how we looked at each other.”

☆ She imagines a third child—one more baby to hold, to raise slowly, to savor. “I’d do it better this time,” she tells you. “I’d be more present.”

☆ Ellie jokes about becoming a stay-at-home mom if you get pregnant. You laugh. She’s dead serious.

☆ She starts rubbing your stomach absentmindedly when you cuddle, her thoughts already drifting.

☆ Ellie dreams about it. She wakes up misty-eyed. “It was a girl this time,” she tells you, voice fragile.

☆ Aurora’s growth inspires nostalgia and longing. She keeps whispering to you, “Just one more. Let me love another one with you.”

☆ She buys a baby onesie at Target “just in case.” You find it hidden in her drawer next to her research notes.

☆ Ellie watches you with Arnold and Aurora and murmurs, “You were always the best mother. I want to see you do it again.”

☆ You catch her re-reading her pregnancy books, bookmarking milestones. She’s preparing mentally like it’s a dissertation.

☆ Ellie secretly writes a new lullaby on her guitar, just in case. She records it one night and labels the file “For Baby #3.”

☆ She visits the IVF clinic “just to ask questions” and comes back with brochures and a sticky note that says “viable chance.”

☆ She becomes softer with you—pulling you into her lap, caressing your skin like she’s trying to memorize you. “I still want everything with you.”

☆ Ellie starts drawing again—sketches of a crib, baby feet, a silhouette of you pregnant.

☆ One night, in bed, she lays her head on your chest and whispers, “If we start now… they’ll grow up with Arnold. We’ll still be young enough.”

☆ She starts romanticizing everything—your hands, your eyes, your voice—like she did when you first met.

☆ Ellie finds the notebook from when she proposed to you. She rewrites her vows in the back, silently renewing them.

☆ Her obsession with you resurfaces with full force—watching you like you're a miracle she can't believe she married.

☆ She spends entire evenings curled into you, fingers tracing the veins in your hands. “You’re the beginning and end of everything.”

☆ She gets lost in old photos—the ones where you’re pregnant, holding baby Aurora, laughing with milk stains on your shirt. She stares at you like you hung the stars.

☆ Ellie writes another letter—this one for you—filled with her dreams, her research, and her endless need to create a life with you again.

☆ “I’m not done building a life with you,” she tells you one afternoon, with coffee on her lips and love in her voice.

☆ Ellie becomes more tender, more deliberate—making tea for you without asking, massaging your back, memorizing your cycles like a ritual.

☆ Her obsession is quieter now—refined, deeper, rooted in love and years of growing together. But it burns just as fiercely.

☆ “Let’s do it,” she finally says one morning, her voice trembling. “Let’s make another little version of us.”

I loved the fic that you did about ellie cheating on dina with reader ❤️

Can you do one where reader is jesses new girlfriend and ellie is with dina and jj but ellie is so in love with reader that she uses sex to get to her because reader is sooooo gay but in the closet (poor Jesse 😔)

The Things We Do in the Dark - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! ty sm!! we need justice for Jesse after this one lmfao. I hope you enjoy:)

Pairing: Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader (Closeted)

requests are open, send me your thoughts:)

Warnings: Angst, cheating, internalized homophobia, emotional tension, sexual tension, explicit content, toxic dynamics, reader is with Jesse, Ellie is with Dina, manipulation, longing

summary: A late-night confession turns into something neither of you can take back. In the quiet moments between guilt and longing, you and Ellie find yourselfs crossing a line — again and again — in the shadows of a relationship that was never meant to be theirs.

masterlist

It started with a glance.

Not the kind that you could wave off or explain away—this one lingered. Too long. Too soft. Too filled with something that should’ve never been aimed at you, especially not from Ellie Williams.

Not while her arm was around Dina’s waist. Not while Jesse’s hand was resting on your thigh.

And definitely not while the two of you were sitting at the same dinner table, playing pretend.

Jackson, Winter

The town looked peaceful from afar. The snow blanketed the trees like everything ugly could be buried beneath it. And maybe that was what you needed—a fresh cover. A layer of denial.

You leaned into Jesse’s warmth. He was good. Kind. Familiar. And he liked you so much it made your chest ache. You weren’t sure if you loved him back. Not the way he deserved. But it was easier to keep your secret hidden behind someone else’s love.

Ellie was across the table, laughing with Dina, but her eyes kept flicking to you. Not obviously, but often enough that it set your nerves on fire. Every time your gaze met hers, it was like a collision. And she never looked away first.

You’d barely kissed Ellie. Once. One drunken, hot, confusing kiss after patrol three months ago. And then she’d gone home to Dina. And you? You ran straight into Jesse’s arms, hoping he’d crush the memory from your bones.

He didn’t.

Ellie started getting reckless.

She’d find excuses to be near you. Late-night patrols. Fixing things in your cabin. Dropping by with dumb jokes and smug looks.

You tried to ignore it. You really did.

Until one night, she cornered you outside the stables, snow falling around you like static.

“You ever think about it?” she asked, voice low, breath steaming in the cold.

“About what?” you answered, even though you knew.

Her hand brushed your jacket. “That night.”

You froze. “I’m with Jesse.”

Her lips twitched. “And I’m with Dina.”

Silence.

Then: “But you’re not happy. Are you?”

It wasn’t a question. And it made something twist in your gut.

Ellie stepped closer, her mouth just inches from yours. “You’re still hiding. I see the way you look at me. You’re scared. But you don’t have to be.”

You shook your head. “I can’t, Ellie.”

“You want to.”

And then she kissed you.

Hard. Hungry. A kiss that felt like punishment and salvation all at once. You let her.

It happened in a haze of snow and silence. You showed up at her place after Jesse left town on a hunting trip. You told yourself it was just to talk. To set boundaries. To stop whatever was spiraling out of control.

But Ellie looked at you like you were oxygen and she’d been holding her breath for years. And you caved.

She didn’t ask for permission. She just walked up to you, touched your face like you were something holy, and whispered, “Tell me to stop.”

You didn’t. You couldn’t.

The first time was fast and rough. Desperate hands. Quiet moans. The sound of your heartbeat drowning everything else out. She made you feel things you had spent years burying.

And afterward, when your head was resting on her chest and her fingers were tracing your skin, she whispered, “I’d do anything to have you.”

You wanted to cry. Because she didn’t have you. Not really.

You saw Jesse the next morning. He kissed your forehead and handed you coffee like you weren’t a liar. Ellie watched from across the street.

That’s how it was, for weeks.

You lived two lives.

By day, you were Jesse’s girlfriend, smiling through your guilt. By night, you were Ellie’s secret. Her obsession. Her sin.

She'd sneak into your room when she knew Jesse was on watch. Touch you like a prayer. Tell you how much she hated seeing you pretend.

"You don’t belong with him," she growled one night, her fingers pressing bruises into your thighs. "You belong with me."

You knew it. You just couldn’t say it out loud. Because if you did, everything would collapse. Your safety. Your reputation. Your place in Jackson. Your lies.

Dina was smart. She started asking questions.

“Ellie’s been distant,” she confided one day while braiding your hair. “Do you think she’s okay?”

You swallowed your shame. “Maybe she’s just tired.”

But the truth was, Ellie had started to unravel.

She became possessive. Jealous. Angry. She hated Jesse.

She hated how you flinched when she touched you in public.

One night, after a fight, she said, “You’d rather be miserable than admit you’re mine.”

And you screamed back, “Because I’m not yours!”

But you still let her kiss you. Still let her take you apart behind closed doors. Because love like that doesn’t just disappear. It devours.

It came one night after patrol. Jesse found a note in your coat pocket. Ellie’s handwriting. Explicit. Intimate. There was no denying it.

He didn’t yell. He just looked at you like he didn’t know who you were anymore.

“I loved you,” he said softly. “But you never let me in, did you?”

You tried to apologize.

But how do you apologize for never loving someone enough?

He left.

And Ellie showed up hours later, breathless, eyes wide, saying, “Finally.”

But you didn’t fall into her arms. You looked at her and said, “This can’t be built on broken people.”

She reached for you anyway.

“I don’t care how we started,” she whispered. “You’re mine now.”

And maybe she was right. Maybe you were always hers.

Even in the dark. Even in secret. Even when it hurt.

You and Ellie didn’t speak much after Jesse left. You didn’t have to.

It was like some invisible thread had finally snapped—no more denying, no more pretending. Just her and you, bare and exposed in every sense of the word. It wasn’t peace, not really. It was just a temporary kind of stillness, like the sharp inhale before a scream.

Ellie started staying over.

She never brought clothes. Never talked about Dina. Never left you alone for more than a few hours. It was obsessive, unhealthy, maddening.

And you wanted her more than ever.

The cabin smelled like sex and pine and woodsmoke.

You were on your back, sweat cooling on your skin, hips sore from the grip of her hands.

Ellie hovered over you, flushed and wild-eyed, her fingers still buried inside you, slow and deliberate as she leaned down to kiss the corner of your mouth.

“You’re shaking,” she whispered, dragging her tongue along your throat. “You like when I ruin you like this?”

You moaned, breathless. “Ellie—”

“Say it.”

“I like it when you ruin me.”

She smiled. A dark, hungry thing. “Good girl.”

Her pace picked up. You writhed beneath her, clawing at her back, grounding yourself in the mess of sheets and want.

“You’ve been mine since the first fucking time I saw you,” she groaned into your ear. “All of this hiding? Over.”

You came undone with her name on your lips, loud and gasping.

And for a moment, it felt like that was all that mattered.

You were still naked when the door burst open.

Dina.

Behind her—Tommy, Maria, and a furious Jesse.

Your blood ran cold. Ellie didn’t flinch. She sat up beside you, bare-chested, glistening, defiant. She lit a cigarette and draped her arm across your waist like a warning.

You reached for the blanket. Dina’s expression twisted in horror, disbelief painting every feature of her face.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Jesse whispered.

“Get the fuck out,” Ellie snapped, shielding your body. “This is none of your business.”

Dina’s voice broke. “How long?”

Ellie exhaled smoke. “Since before you ever noticed she was alive.

Maria looked like she wanted to kill someone. “You’re both acting like this is a goddamn game.”

Tommy’s hand was tight on Jesse’s shoulder, restraining him. Jesse looked shattered. He wouldn't look at you—just the floor.

“I trusted you,” he murmured. “Both of you.”

You tried to speak, but Ellie cut in.

“She doesn’t owe you anything,” she snarled. “She’s not yours. Never was.”

“You’re a coward,” Dina spat at you. “You hide behind people who love you just to sleep with someone who destroys everything.”

And that stung worse than anything.

Ellie stood up slowly, pulling on her jeans without breaking eye contact with Dina.

“You done?” she asked. “Because we’re leaving.”

It wasn’t graceful. You packed what you could in five minutes. Ellie grabbed your journal, a gun, and a half-eaten protein bar and said, “We’ll get what we need on the road.”

“You sure about this?” you asked as she tightened her backpack straps.

She didn’t hesitate. “Only thing I’ve ever been sure about.”

You left behind your friends. Your history. Your reputation.

And Jesse.

You could barely look at him on the way out. He was standing in the snow, fists clenched, tears in his eyes. Ellie flipped him off.

“Fuck you, Jesse,” she called. “She was never yours.”

You said nothing. Because in that moment, it was true.

You camped just beyond the edge of Jackson’s territory, your back against a tree, Ellie wrapped around you like armor. The night was cold, but her hands were fire.

“You okay?” she asked quietly, fingers tracing the edge of your jaw.

“No,” you admitted.

“But you’re with me now.”

She kissed you slowly. Like it meant everything. You kissed her back like it was the end of the world.

Because maybe it was.

You ended up far out east. It was a small town with no name on any map—just a cluster of cabins, a few gardens, some old-timers who kept to themselves, and a lookout post no one really manned. Perfect for people who didn’t want to be found.

The first few weeks were quiet. Not easy. Not even peaceful. But quiet.

You and Ellie shared a room in an old abandoned cabin. It had uneven floors, a leaky roof, and the faint scent of damp earth—but to her, it was paradise.

To you, it was freedom. No more secrets. No more pretending.

Just her and you.

Ellie stopped biting her nails. You started sleeping through the night again.

She built a bookshelf from scrap wood and filled it with every book you liked to reread when you were anxious. You cooked over the fire, and she sat beside you while you hummed whatever tune had gotten stuck in your head that week.

She taught you how to patch wounds. You taught her how to braid hair.

“I didn’t know it could feel like this,” you whispered one night, fingers threading through her fringe as she lay on your chest.

“Like what?”

“Like it’s safe.”

She kissed your ribs, slow and careful. “We built that. No one gave it to us.”

Ellie started growing tomatoes.

She named each plant something ridiculous—Jesse Jr., Tomato Swift, Berry Allen. You laughed every time.

You grew basil and lavender. She swore lavender was useless until she saw you smile when it bloomed. After that, she started tucking it behind your ear when she kissed you.

On your one-year anniversary—though neither of you really knew the date—she gave you a leather-bound journal.

“I want you to write it all down,” she said, tucking a pencil behind your ear. “Everything we’re building.”

You did.

It wasn’t grand. There were no fireworks or fancy clothes or loud declarations.

There was Ellie massaging your shoulders after long days in the garden. You kissing her temple after she’d had nightmares. Soft blankets. Tea over the fire. A shared toothbrush when you forgot to find a second.

She stopped calling it “running away.”

“This is where we were always meant to end up,” she murmured against your lips one morning. “We just took the long way.”

You held her close. “I would’ve followed you through hell.”

“You did.”

You woke up beside her every morning, her arm always wrapped around your waist like muscle memory. Sometimes she woke before you, sketching you in the margins of her notebook while the sun broke through the windows.

You never talked about Jackson anymore.

Not out of guilt. Out of peace.

Because love—real love—had finally found you. Not in some perfect place.

But in the ashes of what used to be.

And when Ellie kissed you under the stars, her thumb tracing your cheek like a promise, you knew:

You’d do it all over again.

The song save your tear - the weekend reminds of a fwb situation, could you make a ellie williams x reader one?

Maybe one where ellie didnt want to have a relationship with reader and treated her like a friend so now reader treats her like a simple friend and rejects ellies advances

(if you want to make it dark you can! But i leave that up to what you think its best!)

Thank you babes!

Save your tears - ellie williams x reader

hi anon! i hope you enjoy! i wrote 2 versions to this. This and a darker version, lmk if you want that one too!!

this story is based off the song Save your tears by the weeknd, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

requests are open, send me your thoughts:)

Warnings: friends with benefits dynamic, angst and emotional manipulation, power imbalance (emotional), jealousy and toxic behavior, alcohol use

Summary: Ellie Williams never wanted commitment. When you first tangled in each other’s sheets, it was her rules: casual, no strings, no complications. You agreed—half-heartedly. But feelings grew in the silence between skin and shadows.

masterlist

The first time it happened, you were both drunk.

Not the sloppy kind—just loose enough to forget the warnings stitched into your better judgment. Ellie’s hand on your thigh, the glint of a dare in her half-lidded eyes. “We don’t have to make this a thing,” she said against your neck, casual like it was just another Friday night. “Just... fun, yeah?”

And you—foolish, soft, already hooked—nodded. “Yeah. Fun.”

It became a pattern. Late nights, tangled limbs, and laughter that always faded too quickly when the morning sun hit. Ellie would slide on her hoodie, brush a kiss to your cheek, and mutter, “Don’t catch feelings, alright?” Like it was a joke. Like she wasn’t the one carving space inside your ribs.

You told yourself it was enough. That the warmth of her body beside yours was worth the cold that followed when she left.

But the thing about pretending? Eventually, someone forgets it's not real.

The night everything shifted, you were at Dina’s.

A party, crowded and loud, red cups everywhere. You didn’t expect Ellie to show up—she hadn’t texted in three days—but there she was: leaning against the kitchen counter, beer in hand, her gaze flicking over the crowd until it landed on you.

You were talking to someone else. Some girl from Lit class. Laughing—genuinely, for once. Ellie watched, her expression unreadable.

Later, when she cornered you outside, her breath visible in the cold, her voice cracked. “Who was that?”

You blinked. “What?”

“That girl. You were flirting.”

You laughed, bitter. “Isn’t that what we do, El? Flirt with people we don’t care about?”

She flinched like you’d slapped her. Then she kissed you.

Hard. Desperate.

You let her. Of course you did. But something inside you stayed locked this time. You didn’t fall into her like before. You didn’t cry when she left.

After that night, Ellie started showing up more.

Texting. Calling. Bringing you coffee “just because.” She’d sit too close on your couch, her hand brushing yours like a ghost of what used to be. But you didn’t let her in.

You stopped waiting for her messages. Stopped rearranging your world to fit around hers.

When she said, “Let’s hang out tonight,” you told her you had plans. No explanation. No apology.

Ellie looked stunned, almost hurt. “With who?”

You shrugged. “Does it matter?”

That night, she posted an old photo of you on her story. Just your hand in hers. No caption.

You blocked her for a week.

She showed up at your apartment. Rain-soaked. Eyes red.

“I miss you.”

You looked at her like a stranger.

“You had me,” you said softly. “And you didn’t want me.”

Ellie didn’t know how to mourn something that was never officially hers.

She spent nights lying awake, replaying your laugh, your voice, the way your fingers curled into her shirt in your sleep. She used to pretend she didn’t notice. But she did. She noticed everything.

Now, she notices your absence.

The silence in her apartment is thick with your ghost.

She tries to move on. Hooking up with someone else—a distraction. But when she touches her, all she feels is how different she is from you. The wrong perfume. The wrong laugh. The wrong everything.

She leaves before it’s over.

Back in her car, knuckles white on the steering wheel, Ellie whispers to herself, “What the fuck did I do?”

You see her again at the art building.

She’s leaning against the wall, sketchbook in hand, pretending to draw. Her eyes dart up when she spots you, and there’s that flicker of hope—raw and real.

You approach. Calm.

She straightens. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

Silence. She breaks first. “Can we talk?”

You nod. “Sure.”

You walk beside her, down quiet paths where words feel louder. She tells you everything. How she was scared. How she didn’t think she deserved you. How she messed it all up.

“I’m ready now,” she says. “For real. I want—”

You hold up a hand.

“Ellie…” You meet her eyes. Steady. “I don’t want that anymore.”

She freezes. Like her heart stops.

“You—what?”

“I don’t want to go back,” you say. “Not after how it felt to be your ‘almost.’ I won’t do it again.”

You see it hit her. The panic. The grief. And still—you don’t flinch.

“I’m sorry, Ellie,” you whisper. “But I stopped waiting for you.”

Later, Ellie listens to “Save Your Tears” on repeat.

She finally understands the lyrics now. Every word.

“I broke your heart like someone did to mine…”

She used to think heartbreak made her immune.

Now, she knows it just made her cruel

You move on.

Not with anyone else—not yet—but with yourself. You go to therapy. You heal. You fill your days with things that make you feel whole again. Not dependent on someone’s half-hearted love.

Ellie tries, once more. She leaves flowers. A letter.

You don’t read it.

You leave the flowers on your doorstep until they wilt.

It’s not about punishment—it’s about peace.

You don’t cry for her anymore.

She watches you from a distance sometimes, wondering if she ever really knew you. If she ever deserved to.

She doesn’t chase again.

She finally learns what it means to lose someone who loved you completely.

You let Ellie into your apartment one night, not out of love—out of curiosity.

She stands awkwardly near the door, like she knows she’s trespassing somewhere sacred.

“I’m not here to mess things up,” she says. “I just… needed to see you.”

You nod slowly, arms crossed.

“I never knew how to love you right,” she says, voice low. “But I never stopped wanting to try.”

You tilt your head. “Ellie, wanting to try means nothing when I was begging for it before.”

Her face crumples.

You let her cry.

But you don’t hold her this time.

You just say, gently, “Go home, Ellie.”

Two years later, you meet again. Different city. Different lives.

She looks older. Softer. Worn down in the way heartbreak shapes you.

You talk. Lightly. Carefully. Like a bandage being peeled.

“I never loved anyone after you,” she admits.

You smile. “I loved myself after you.”

There’s silence.

And then, for the first time, Ellie smiles too.

No expectations. Just understanding.

Sometimes love isn’t a second chance. Sometimes it’s knowing when to let go.

You sit in your apartment, tea in hand, the rain tapping against the window. You used to cry every time it rained.

Now it’s just weather.

You think about how far you've come.

How love isn’t meant to be begged for, or bargained with.

And if Ellie ever really loved you, she’ll learn that too.

You close your eyes. You are whole.

And finally—

You don’t miss her.

Are you okay?

mentally, I wasn't for a while, and writing dark stuff did affect me in a way I didn't realize. I took a break, I did some soul searching and when u finally decided to come back I lost my password... pain.