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I might not be the nicest. But I'm real and don't give a fuck about standing alone. It's those super nice MFs you need to keep an eye on. (a la Pinchofsugar)

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How to Balance a Check Book

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❤

"Pay some bills and THEN you can speak your mind about what the fuck I do"

How to Not Have The Generic Sugar Baby Profile

I’m sorry, but I’m tired of seeing you hoes have the same generic sugar baby profiles and wonder why you’re not getting the responses that you want! We always talk about what “sugar daddies” like to mention on their profiles, but we don’t discuss what sugar babies mention on their profiles that no one gives a fuck about or is a lie. 

Sugar daddies don’t give a damn if you’re “hard-working” or you like to volunteer at animal shelters. You need to make your overall profile stand out from the rest and get the money you deserve from these men! You have to sell yourself as a sexy fun bombshell that every rich man wants to have and will pay for. Men are more focused on how good you look and how you can add to their social lives, save mentioning your volunteer work or your love to read for when you already reeled in a POT and you’re already on your date. You cannot sound boring on your profile, sex sells honey! I got time tonight and I turned on my Pandora, so I’m going to give you tips and tricks on how to have a bomb ass profile bitch!

Avoid using these words/phrases on your “about me” sugar profile:

I’m hard-working

I’m a student in college

I like to work out/I’m fit

I like to (insert generic interest or hobby like read or cook)

I like to go out

I don’t go out a lot

I like to travel

I hope to have a career in ______

I’m _____ years old/I’m young

I’m a princess

I love to be spoiled/pampered

I like to go shopping

What to include in your photo section:

There’s a whole new way of writing your profile to make yourself stand out and attract legitimate SDs, and it involves photos. Anybody can talk shit about how great or attractive they are, but you have to show it to get the results you want on sugaring profiles. Walk the walk, not just talk the talk. For example, instead of mentioning how “fit” you are, show how fit you are in your profile photos! Post at least 2 body pictures, one from the torso up, and another a full body shot. Make sure you look sexy and showing some skin, wearing flattering clothes that accentuates your features or a nice swimsuit. You’re a bad bitch with full lips and smooth skin or “exotic” facial features? Show that face off in your profile pictures. Have one or two selfies with a nice glam makeup look and one photo with a natural makeup look. I’ll make another post on how to take and edit photos for sugar profiles in the future. Don’t just mention how attractive you are in your profile, prove it with clear, nice photos as well. Bonus: Keep two or three “private” risque or swimsuit photos of yourself for serious POTs only. Don’t give away private access to your photos to men who can’t even properly introduce themselves. Private photos adds mystery to your profile and can attract more men.

What to include in your “about me” section:

I cannot stress this enough, YOU HAVE TO REALLY SELL YOURSELF! You are the product and you have to convince these men that you are the one they want. It’s best to build up your persuasive writing skills in order to have the best profile you can. 

Instead of mentioning a bland and generic “I like to go out”, give examples of how you like to go out. Saying, “I spend my leisurely weekends on the roof tops of the best bars in the city and sailing on a yacht in my favorite red bikini, maybe you can join me?”, sounds a lot more exciting than “I like to go out and have fun”. It’ll give the POT an idea of what you really like to do and he’ll be willing you invite you out on a yacht so he can see that red bikini in real life. Your college major is nursing? So say, “Helping and taking care of others are a few of my life passions, so nursing became my college major. Let me nurse you when you’re feeling sick or is stressed from your busy career and personal life, by being your fun sugar baby.” 

You’re smart and educated? Say, “I am current on world events and I can engage in intellectual conversations on several topics that can enlighten us both.” You have to include that POT into your interests/hobbies and your social life. He has to imagine himself doing your favorite interests/hobbies with you. If you don’t like going out, it sounds a lot better just to say, “Who needs to go out when we can make our own fun indoors with a nice cooked meal and cuddle while watching a great movie!” You like to travel? Say, “Let’s spend our summers in the Caribbean with cocktails and enjoying the view of the beautiful blue beach and sun.” Get it now?

What to include in your “what I’m seeking” section:

Now this is the part you can mention how you struggling to pay tuition or need help with rent, but please don’t come off as demanding, picky, and most importantly, desperate! Don’t say, “I need help paying for student loans/college tuition”, say, “I’m seeking a generous man that sees the value and importance of a college education, and would love to invest in me to reach my goals and start a successful career.” Please for the love of God, Allah, and Buddha, don’t say, “I want to be spoiled like a princess and go shopping everyday”, that is cringe-worthy as fuck! You sound like an entitled brat. Instead, just say, “Don’t like shopping? I can make the experience a lot more fun and sexy for you as I try on dresses, heels, and lingerie for you while shopping downtown. I can become your personal shopper and spark your closet with clothes that will make you look great!” You want to have your own business? Say something like, “I am seeking to have a business-minded SD that would love to invest in my future business endeavors in _____.” The point is to convince the POT/SD to spend his dough on you and that he will be getting something in return other than sex, like appreciation and gratification. Mention how you will show your appreciation and add value for the right man that takes care of you, by showing physical affection and by other means. That’s the point of a mutually beneficial arrangement. Make sure to put a disclaimer that intimacy will occur organically and when an arrangement is in place, SA salts are notorious for expecting sex on the first date, especially without paying you cash. A real SD is not going to rush into sex and has to prove his worthiness by spending cash in order to get it.

Two last things, keep the basic information like your age, location, and lifestyle budget out of the about me section. That information is already stated when you initially filled in your profile. Last but not least, if you’re using Seeking Arrangements, don’t ever ever ever put “negotiable” as your lifestyle budget, that will attract the low and gutter men of the websites. Always have it at least on moderate.

Now go get that money and the man you deserve!

amy amy amy. You are missed.

If you command me to do something that I was already planning on doing the chances of me doing that thing automatically drop to zero

Me in a nutshell.