Dumbass-smolgayitalian - ...

Did you know that if nasa we're considering anything for a 9th planet it would be there 'hypothetical' planet that they have nO pRoof even EXISTS AIDHSV WHAT ABOUT PLUTO!

YOu knOw there are 4 other 'dWaRf' planets in our solar system that no one even talks about!I mean Ceres, Makemake, Haumea Eris! MY AUTO CORRECT DOESN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE THEM A FUCKING WORDS! WHAT THE FUCK GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER NASA DWARF PLANETS ARE PLANETS TO !STOP IGNORING THEM PEOPLE! VEVA LA PLUTO BITCHES!

AJSHSVSHSH!

I Have Been Tricked. I AM BETTRAYED. This Cookie is evil???

I grab cookie Greek Cresent, Cresent moon shaped covered in powder sugar. Me try to bite cookie and it is rock??? Me try again it is cookie, but why rock? I finally bite into cookie and It Is NOT GREEK CRESENT!?!? ITS BASCUTT! Why? How? Why? Why is the biscott on the plate with the Greek Cresents?? But More Importantly WHY IS THE BISCOTTI DISGUISED AS GREEK CRESENTS!?!? I would think Nan did this with malice but she's not there enough for that! This Wasn't Intential! So why is the biscott cresent shaped but What Sane Person Puts POWDERED SUGAR ON BISCOTTI?!?!

I did a thing for art class the original is Salome by Alphonse Muslim

I need this expeditiously

Someone please, I beg you right a thick. I will sell you my first wait. No Im ace, so I'm not gonna sell you my first born. I aint having no children. Those things are too slimy. I don't want one.Will find something. I will sell you my kidney.I have two of those only need one of those bitches. please someone write this I beg you.

AU where in order to be able to secretly hang out with his favourite league bro, after he gets to Gotham Damian creates a second secret identity which is literally just him in a voice modulated motorcycle helmet so he can be Red Hood’s occasional sidekick without the bats knowing it’s him, except the issue is that Damian has a lot of ‘old man’ energy surrounding him. from his weirdly mature posture, his manner of speaking, to the odd knowledge he possesses that a child of his age should NOT have; when you can’t see any part of his head, theres pretty much nothing pointing towards the fact that he’s a little kid. this leads to Hood’s subordinates instantly assuming that Hood’s sidekick is not, infact, a child, but instead a very small man/somebody with some kind of dwarfism.

Jason honestly isn’t sure whether or not he should correct his men, because on one hand its kinda funny to watch Damian awkwardly interact with this group of people who clearly think he, like them, is some 30yr old geezer with a possible wife and kids at home, not to mention its a secret identity for a reason he doesn’t want to leak information for no reason-

but on the other hand they keep offering his kid brother beers and cigarettes. which.

Goon: hey man, you see the game last night? fucking wild.

Damian, spent last night letting Tim teach him how to play with Pokémon cards but doesn’t want to seem immature: …yes. i did, indeed, watch that game.

Goon 2: fucked up that that last play wasn’t called out; the bar practically rioted. hey you should come with us next week for the next game, let us buy you a beer or somthin. Hood tags along with us sometimes, should be fun!

Damian:

Jason, struggling not to laugh:

Damian:

Damian: i have prior engagements.

Goon 1: haha, let me guess, your s/o dont want you out late?

Damian:

Damian, leaning in to Jason to whisper: what… what is an ‘s/o’

Jason, coughing to cover laughter: they uh, they think you got a wife or a husband waiting for you at home.

Damian:

Damian, turning back to the goons: i… have no idea what to say right now.

Jason: *pats him on the shoulder* alright buddy, you go finish up the weapons shipment, dont worry.

Jason to the goons, after Damian leaves: recently divorced, sore subject.

the goons: *empathetic hums of understanding*

~

Goon: here man, have a drink to take home with ya *tries to pass Damian a bottle of whiskey*

Damian: um.

Damian: *slowly edging forward to hesitatingly take the bottle, for lack of knowing what else to do*

Jason, bellowing from across the warehouse: OI!

Damian: *freezes, bottle in hand*

Goon:

Damian:

Damian: *slowly, ashamed, passes the bottle back*

Jason: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT.

Goon: uhm…

~

Goon: hey, boss? why wont you let the new guy drink?

Jason:

Jason, doesn’t want to out Damian’s identity: he’s a recovering alcoholic. im his sponsor.

Goon:

~

Damian, on the way back to Jason’s apartment: Todd.

Jason: mm?

Damian: one of your men asked if i had any chiropractor reccomendations for back pain.

Jason: *bites lip*

Damian: how old do they think i AM?

Jason:

Jason: i may have implied somewhere in your fifties.

Damian:

Damian: WHY WOULD-

Jason: IT SEEMED FUNNY.

Auditory hallucinations are fun cuz you can have like a demon whispering directly into only your left ear sound like they came straight out of hell and the one word the deem important enough to tell you is just fucking B̴̙̿͗̄̽̈́̕͝ṛ̷̦͎̞̌̾̀̓̈́͝e̸̛̹͊̚a̵̛͇̱̤̟͉̱̞͆̌̾̿̚d̸̹͕̝͋̇̔̊͘

So I saw this this somewhere that was like 'if gen z was religious we would probably call god daddy not big G' but like I had this pastor once who after seeing the word Abba in the bible translated it to daddy and ended up calling god daddy god, and he would leed pray by starting 'daddy god please' Wich for SE reason in retrospect sounds kinky. But yeah he head the entire youth group referring to god as daddy god for like a month

I fucking hate hallucinations because want do you mean I see a bug on my arm in my dreams and get woken up from a dead sleep cuz I can feel it one me in real life and I wake up and see it it's fucking there right on my arm where I can feel it but that's not a bug that exists in the real world it's a cross between a cricket and a cockroch the size of a tarantula it don't fucking exist and Yet The Bitch is On My Arm

I hate it here whatever wird bounce package this is I would like to unsubscribe whatever this is I didn't sign up for it

I just turned to my bird and went "ah yes you are a magic shitter my glorious bitch" only for feather to stare at me inconspicuously and start screaming in my ear as if I did not just complet her

Hiding pride flags in my homophobic parents basement#4

I have lost all SENCE OF SUBTLETY!

SUBTLETY IS LOST ON ME

..oh my god they just think it's a bunch of pretty colors....

Haha gay frog

GOnA TurN tHe FrIcKn FroGs gAy

I present to you ....

Birds

Ones a chickadee and ones a tufted titmouse i would say guess which is which but one is labeled