Such A Good Take, I Love How Bernard Can Be Used To Address The Standard Difficulties Of Life. He's A

(<i>Hi, I’m the written half of this freeform collab with @dahtwitchi, putting my side up with very little working knowledge of how to Tumblr</i>)

(Sugar!Madara is offering to make out with his alternates to encourage the Tobis to do the same, because he is a shameless perv. His younger self approves of this plan)

"They seem to be enjoying the view." Sugar!Tobirama raises his eyebrow at the toothy grin his boyfriend sends his way. Bluntly, he warns his other selves, 

"...My Madara is probably going to try to start something again; he has a _thing_ for shadow clone sex."

"...Shadow clones of _us_?" The younger Sugar version sounds dubious and Tobirama shrugs, remembering how strange it felt to have some so obviously appreciate his unusual appearance.

"He thinks we're pretty."

This post will be updated now and then, so reblogged versions will get out of date

MASTERPOST for the mixupAU sketches (with #2)

#1 #3, 4 & 5 #6, 7 & 8 #9 #10, 11 & 12 #13 #14 #15, 16 & 17 #18, 19 & 20 #21, 22 & 23

TBC? Probably. Possibly. Sometime.

(sorry, but I wont be turning this into something that makes more sense ^^;;; I’m just posting my part to share art rather than story x3 freeform collab with @donkoogrr‘s sugarverse MadaTobis. So there is a random meet up of pre-sugarverse Madra&Tobirama, current-ish sugarverse Madara&Tobirama, and my gardenverse Madara&Tobirama that are actually 6 years into the future versions of cockblockverse Madara&Tobirama. Are you properly confused trying to keep them apart now? Good, because it’s a mess keeping track of who is who x’D)

Man, sometimes I read a fic where their version of Superman is so flat he couldn't even cause a papercut and the favored characters are all "Superman is the type of person who always thinks he's doing the right thing" and "Superman doesn't accept criticism" and "Superman is a bumbling farm boy hick stupid head" and "the Justice League is a bunch of elitist hacks and their club is only to hype themselves up because narcissism".

And I gotta. Like. Okay? That's a take, I guess. That's an opinion. It always takes me out of the story though, because it's presented as a known fact of the world of the fic despite little to no indication of those truths being reflected in the rest of the fic. It's a weird whiplash and it always leaves me almost ravenously curious as to what influenced this perception.

Sometimes it's explained as an unreliable narrator, sometimes an author's note will shrug off responsibility with "someone has to be the asshole lol", and sometimes it seems to be really and truly genuine and that is fascinating to me. I want to know the why's. I want to take them for coffee and listen to their perspectives. I want to understand.

One of my favorite Batman and Superman team up comics has a pre-jl storyline where they don't trust each other just yet. And because they don't trust each other, they both leap to save the life of a criminal being thrown out a window - they can't be sure the other won't just let this awful person die "accidentally". And because they were both distracted by that, an innocent hostage ran into the street in a panic and was struck and killed by a truck.

It was such a needless death. It was so bullshit and pointless. Both Superman and Batman recognized the need for trust, the need to let themselves be known enough, vulnerable enough, to not have this happen again.

And can y'all imagine how both their stories might have changed if future writers, canon and fanfic alike, kept that character growth in mind?

I'm only saying this for your sake, but objectively, it's not a smart idea to bring politics into normal hobbies. You might lose supporters of your blog just because of your political stance, and that would be terrible since you're so amazing!! It's only a suggestion, but I really reccomend not bringing politics into anything.

I remember seeing a post a while ago which message was basically that you should force yourself to like female characters even when they're written to be mid or even just poorly because it's part of unlearning sexism or something, like you need to "learn to like them", and man, I really don't like this stance at all, because what it basically says is that you should lower your standards when it comes to female characters. But there are absolutely amazingly written female characters that you don't need to "force" yourself to like because you just do naturally, because they're just written right, and it doesn't require "work" and "convincing yourself to care" or anything like that. It is absolutely possible to write them, and I'm justified in wanting more of them instead of "forcing myself to like" poorly written characters whose authors couldn't even force themselves to care about them on the first place. It feels backwards to me that many people expect otherwise and call it misogyny when viewer isn't willing to do the writer's work in places where writer didn't do theirs. I do appreciate it and think it's really cool when people take poorly written characters and remake/expand on them within a narrative to be actually interesting and multidimensional, it is really cool that people do that, but also you can't expect that every person who interacts with original media will do the same kind of mental gymnastics and additional work and accuse them of terrible misogyny when they're interpreting the characters the way they were presented to them in original material as is.

I like the stories that have Riddler leaving his life of crime to run the world's most difficult escape room. I like that the modern era offers him such a unique business opportunity that could help him with his mental health and villainous impulses.

But I also fucking CRAVE to see a story where Riddler gets super into the DC version of Dungeons and Dragons and becomes super famous for his Dungeon Master skills. I think that having people's beloved characters in danger would give him an even better thrill. I think he'd love to devote his time to learning backstories and lore so he can personalize dungeon riddles and enemies.

Tim would be the one to suggest this to him, I bet. Sends Eddie a text about needing a riddle suitable for his own W&W campaign but not having the time to put it together himself. I bet Ed would fall into a rabbit hole of research and wind up with so much KNOWLEDGE that Tim's like, "Hey, maybe you should put together your own campaign book and sell it online"; thus, the Riddler's Run becomes a legend for players.

I would like to announce that my little brother is a little bitch (nongendered) and I love him dearly.

I was texting him about a recent tragic realization about strawberries. And this little fucker who stole my height and testosterone from before the womb goes:

Little Bro: so that's bananas, pecans, milk, and strawberries

LB: all hurt your mouth

LB: gonna need to Kevorkian you with a banana split in a few years at this rate

Anyway I called him a cunt and I feel justified in that action. We love each other very much.

And that's very much how I see current Tim and Damien's relationship with each other. It's fun to playfully hate on a sibling who can bite back. It's flyting, but without the poetry.

I want to explore the Bernard-as-the-third-Robin idea a little more.

Firstly, that's a mouthful and we're calling him Robern from now on.

CW: in theorizing backstory we address potential/canon child abuse and suicidal ideation.

How does he come to find himself in Batman's orbit? By accident. By storming out of his house after a fight with his parents. By blindly walking to the more dangerous part of town, or climbing up to a rooftop, or standing at a bridge.

By looking at something dangerous and thinking, "how much would they care if I were hurt? Would they care at all?"

And then along comes the goddamn Batman. And he's a fucking mess. He burned the bat signal onto a guy's face earlier.

And maybe that's where this change in the timeline starts; with Batman sitting next to this kid who looks nothing like either of his sons, listening to him talk about his parents and his fears and...

Bernard is just a kid who wants his parents to love and accept him.

Just like Jason.

Do y'all think Batman would take him home immediately or do you think he'd try to find alternative arrangements for this kid?

Because I rather like the idea of a deeply concerned Tim Drake going to Nightwing sooner rather than later, holding photos of messy!Batman ushering a sad-eyed blond kid into the Batmobile.

Strawberry milk is so good frfr is better than actual strawberries because it doesn't make your mouth spicy afterwards

Strowburry melk

With WFA sister-coding Steph and Cass, I started thinking about how to get some silver linings out of the decision. So, here are some potential plots or story elements that could be fun/saucy/interesting to play with.

1.) Steph comes out as asexual. Between having a baby and dating Tim, Steph realizes that she's been pursuing physical relationships because of social expectations. She's a spunky, outgoing blonde tough girl; people just assume. She just assumed.

This leads to so many jokes. So many.

"Yeah, Tim and I dated and we had a good time, but in the end I turned him off girls and he turned me off entirely"

"I flatlined briefly and it restored me to factory settings"

Idk Steph would have more quips. She'd have all the quips.

2) Cass is secretly the true Wayne Womanizer. She's not here for a long time, she's here for a good time, and as long as everyone understands that she will play the field. The only reason no one knows that she's debauched every willing heiress in Gotham is because she's too good to get caught and no one would believe it.

Cassandra Wayne is a Legend among closeted debutantes and socialites whose parents have "arrangements" made in regards to marriages. She's the muse of so much modern sapphic poetry, the kind that only hints at her identity. She is the favorite friend to every ambassador's interested daughter. Forget the headlines about Brucie Wayne spending the night with a Russian ballet troupe, Cass will tour with them and no one will even guess what's really going on.

Fandom treats her like a sexless child figure or defaults her to Steph's side. I say let her sneak into the manor at 3am with her shoes off, whispering about entering her slut era.

3) If Steph and Cass are not dating each other, they could each be dating a new or underused character and we could have another Bernard-style steal-your-ship. We might be on the cusp of discovering a really fun pairing or character!

4) Cass and Prudence Wood have an assassin-angsty hate-sex relationship. This one's just for me because it makes me giggle. People meme about Tim and Cass looking alike, Pru called Tim hot once, Pru is now a double??? Triple???? Quadruple??? Agent between Ra's and Tim.

There is just something cute about imagining terrifying quiet Cass stalking after the loudmouth Pru's British cussing. No killing! Because Cass is here to ruin your fun and watch you sleep!

My immediate reaction was "No, leave that old man alone; he is an angry gem who encourages children and has high standards for adults who claim to be professionals" and then I realized how Batman coded that sentence was and needed to sit down.

And then I remembered that he also has an estranged brother who has attacked him, or threatened his family, I think, maybe? And now I'm vibing with the concept of Gordon Ramsay having a vigilante alter-ego in the DC world.

I've given enough angst lately. Have something amusing:

Chef Bernard Dowd on Hell's Kitchen.

Imagine it, please. Imagine Tim gripping with bloody hands to the shreds of his self-control, trying not to physically attack Chef Gordan Ramsey for yelling at Bernard for fucking up the risotto.