Crystalbrain-george Motherfucking Bush 1/1 NFT

crystalbrain-kim jong un toilet 1/1 NFT on opensea

ok. so i was in kim jong un's meth lab he uses to ship shit to the yakuza and dennis rodman shows up with like this military garb and he's liek asking kim jong un how he looks and shit. and i'm like, dude, ur in teh wrong place, ur out of ur league, if u get any farther into this shit even van damme isn't going 2 come save u from the can of stalinist whoop-ass that kim jong un is gonna unleash on u. anyways dennis rodman looks liek i hurt his feelings and so i fuckin get give him this bump of 100% pure crystal and he brightens up liek a christmas tree. anyways, i just sort of let him show all these basketball moves that kim jong un's generals pretend 2 be interested in, and then after kim jong un smokes a chunk of ice he's liek ranting and raving about how he's gonna send another bomb flying over japan……into the ocean, just to fuck with them. and he laughs and he gives me this look liek i'm expected to laugh, so i'm pretending to laugh and i can hear the basketball in the other room…it was some serious shit, man.

anyways i ask for some food and he's liek "hell naw, i gave u some meth u don't need 2 eat" liek i'm some kinda dude who just because he's just smoked meth in north korea with kim jong un doesn't need 2 eat. wtf man, i'm liek trying to think of a way 2 get out of there and i'm pissed so i used my telepathetic mind powers and take over kim jong un's mind. then i instruct him 2 put his head in teh toilet and i give him a swirly. his head is all wet and shit and i liek take his pants off and there's leik some serious gay sex going on when dennis rodman comes in teh room with his rod out and i'm liek "dude, can't u see i'm givin the old swirly screw to kim jong un" and he's liek "ok, ok whatever". anyways kim jong un drowned in teh toilet so that was a nuclear crisis averted but the yakuza were pissed becuz they didn't get their meth shipments. however one of kim jong un's body doubles just fuckin started pretendin' 2 be the dear leader again, and i'm liek, "fuck. my work is wasted." but i think this guy doesn't have what it takes 2 be kim jong un becuz he's not a preening sociopath and i think this woman who runs the secret police wants 2 kill him already. we'll see how it goes. anyways i have 2 swim across a river to get 2 china but since i have superpowers it was easy. i even caught a bullet in my teeth and spit it back at a border guard and he flew all the way from china 2 seoul, south korea and all the south koreans were liek "wtf is this dead dude doing here"?

anyways i get into china and i'm liek trying 2 diffuse military tensions between the US and china now, so wish me luck.

CIA document on me

eye stoled this from the CIA:

ABSTRACT: A preliminary investigation of "crystalbrain" has yielded some interesting data, the most pertinent of which is that "crystalbrain", aside from various hedonistic behaviors, is an indeterminate entity. Indeed, it claims to be many things but its ultimate nature is an "undefined" mystery, as is implied by its association with "undefined label", an anonymous collective of an unknown number of artists who make noise music and digital art. It has its own origin explanation involving various obscene scenarios which defy reason, but which it passionately insists are indeed true. "crystalbrain" has a preoccupation primarily with various stimulant drugs, such as "crack" cocaine and methamphetamine, which it brags about consuming. Whether this consumption is a fact of an actual entity named "crystalbrain" is a mystery, but the descriptions given by it of its consumption do provide a glimpse of someone with at least passing familiarity with said stimulants.

"crystalbrain" claims to be an interdimensional being, as if it could slip in and out of reality facing no consequences for its actions by erasing its past in what it calls a state of "enlightened stupididity [sic]". whether this claimed ability is a fabrication on the part of "crystalbrain" is not known, but we have seen little evidence of it. Given its reality-changing nature, however, it would make sense that we would not see any evidence of the phenomenon if it were indeed true. "crystalbrain" has claimed to do many things that are illegal besides consuming drugs, including theft of government property, assault on police officers, and murder. "crystalbrain" also claims the ability to control other peoples' minds so that they do his bidding, even having claimed to have turned armies to his side in alternate realities.

crystalbrain-citrusixtyone nft 1/1

https://zora.co/collections/0xAD13f56d7436e7dF10B9c271DBB849caDC39fc75/1

here’s what i had to say about this nft.

whoa ok, i guess some imps that were laughing at someone's face told them in their neurons that i should make a fuckin orange thing as art. and this, my friend, is fuckin orange as can be. my dad (actually the superego in my crystalbrain) says its brownish, not orange, but i disagree with him, he's totally trying to assert his dominance in the field of color interpretation and i'm going to beat him right in the face with an orange if he does not relent and offer his apologies that this is fuckin orange as fuck. i don't know, is there like a sunset that could be as cool as this? i don't know, i think i'm going to offer an orange in exchange for my soul in the caves of some lost gods with like fucking rotten oranges on some altar cuz some guy left them there and forgot about them when he asked the orange god if he'd do stuff for him. i know this isn't cute, i know i have sixty five fucking neurons left after all of the philosophers ate them but if you give me a chance i will exchange some orange with you as a token of my eternal gratitude, i am totally going to win this, this is not a joke, you will have my friendship and an orange (not a brown). 

ok, so that’s what i said about it. i have to remind u all (yes, “u” not “you”) that 61 cygni is the brightest motherfucking star in the sky, and that its also called deneb. its also a BINARY STAR which means that its dual as in if the stars had guns they could fuckin duel with each other because there’s TWO of them. however, this nft motherfucking is 1/1, so only one dude with ethereum can own it. are you still with me? reading this much stupidity requires some serious pre-interwebs attentionion span, so i am tellling u that u must buy this NFT if u like oranges, people saying things are what they are when they’re not, the star deneb, or duality in general.

if u buy this nft, i offer oranges as a token of my friendendship.

other NFTs and also free experimental music offered on this motherfucking page:

https://undefinedlabelnoise.com/

crystalbrain-flower of aerisithe NFT 1/1

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crystalbrain-flower of aerisithe 1/1 | crystalbrain-flower of aerisithe

The mysterious art of crystalbrain...

check it out! there was this girl i fell in love with but it was dumb because i knew she was going to die because some motherfucker on a website called square.net from liek 1997 ruined the scene just liek i'm telling u what happens in the game, but it was a game that is forever known as FINAL FANTASY VII, and it looks bettah in caps because fuck yeah, capital letters.

but anyways this brain had its nervousity system hooked up to a tv and it was SHIT because he was playing this game and REALLY lieked this character a LOT, but he totally knew she would be KILLED. and her name was……..don't look if u haven't played the game…AERIS.

yeah i guess its a plot point that totally remaps ur psyche into thinking the girl with ancient healing powers and shit needs to totally die by some named after a bunch of spheres that grow on a tree in a mysticital tradition, but these guys made SO MUCH MONEY fucking with my little brain. i totally couldn't believe that they had this guy with a sword just come down from the sky all cool liek but then he just KILLS AERIS. what the FUCK. if i were human i'd be in 7th grade and be liek, ok, i'm traumatized.

but what else was going on besides FINAL FANTASY VII? there was a lot of popularity with STAR WARS, which is a franchise owned by disney now and they've leik totally fucked it in the ass i heard but i didn't bother to watch, but they got these dudes called SITHS. leik, darth vader is a sith. and darth vader is totally the kind of guy who would KILL AERIS i guess, but maybe not? i don't know, but what if AERIS were a sith, leik she had healing powers but she could totally CHOKE YOUR ASS WITH HER FIST IN THE AIR.

then there is absinthe which is a kind of poisonous drink that fucks your brain cells in the ass and erases ur memory, so i put an E after sith to maek it liek AERISITHE

so put it all together, u got AERISITHE. a woman who's good hearted with ancient healing powers who fucking chokes her enemies tho and erases the memory of her demise and UNFUCKS the universe. and this is my tribute to this unfucking mind bender. THERE.

crystalbrain-wings of seven NFT 1/1

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crystalbrain-wings of seven 1/1 | crystalbrain-wings of seven

The mysterious art of crystalbrain...

what can i say about seven??? it's such a cool number! if u were a man with wings leik an angel or some shit liek that, u would have seven limbs right?? i'm going to say that this picture gives u wings because the salesman who sells crack in my brain said to promise this to my buyers. beware i can't verifify if this is actually true, so DISCLAIMER: i am full of shit possibly but maybe not. but what else can i say about this??? it's green, liek dollar bills i guess, which is kind of a neat thing if ur looking to buy a house or eat or have some fuel for ur rich guy fireplace. so as for the number seven, i can't possibley say enuff good shtuff. yeah the bible has some dumb shit going on in sevens but u can forget about this, because this is a non-christian seven, leik if u were a buddhist and u wanted this seven, u could have it without any of that bowls of gods wrath stuff.

what else can i possilby say about this? it looks liek it grew from an ancient civilization that exists on a leaf or sumthin, i can say that. wouldn't it be cool if ancient civilizations possibly with aliens grew on leaves? i would totally freak out and spooge if that were the case and i'd use my two wings to fly to the moon or something to tell the people on the moon about it. i mean no one on earth would believe me except for those dudes that take too much LSD or mushrooms, but on the moon, I dunno, maybe? or maybe on neptune because its the 7th planet from the sun, that would work cool i guess.

so if u want complicicated patterns in sevens u can totally take out ur ETHs and buy this NFT which i offer to ur brain.

crystalbrain-magik rectangle NFT 1/1

buy nft here:

https://zora.co/collections/0x4b560a3eaF04524948ee863FAE30723B41755E01/1

ok, so there's some green shtuff, some red stuff, and its all fractalizized i guess. i see numbers here, which is some brains least favorite book of the bible except maybe revelation i guess because its possibly boring instead of being insane like that crap that some guy wrote while tripping his balls off.

but what the everliving fuck aaaare these numbers for? i don't know, but all the 1s make it so every column adds up to 10, and there are ten son of a bitchin fingers if u count both hands of a human. so it all adds up to 10 huh? isn't that boring, like to count to 10 u just put your fingers up, probably in order i guess.

but these red things floating in black, are they motherfucking happy about this? how about the damn green pixelated things? these are mysteries which are more organanic i guess, like toads people lick to get poisoned in a fun way maybe. i'm not sure.

there seems like maybe a path of something yellow or blue....who knows what that shit means. does this even mean anything? i have much eths to make from this yes...

more nfts:

https://undefinedlabelnoise.com/index.php?crystalbrain=list

biography of crystalbrain

summary:

crystalbrain is a foolish idiot brain. they are composed only of the finest sugar, salt, and perhaps more illegal things, perhaps not…crystalbrain tries to maek a thought, but a thought owns them they think. they think to theirself "why do i exist" but then smells their armpits. crystalbrain sometimes says he, sometimes they, but 100% of the time is an idiot god brain. crystalbrain refuses to belieeve that the romans didnt pay their soldier dudes in salt, becuz crystalbrain doesn't want to admit they're wrong. crystalbrain rules over the entire universe and this is why the universe is so fucked. crystalbrain never got very far in parasite eve but thinks he's a "respect mah authority" on this game. crystalbrain has more video games than books in their brain. crystalbrain won't shut the fuck up and thinks stupidity is still stupid because he's stupid or maybe smart in that respect.

crystalbrain heard that if u took a piece of shit and threw them into space they would eventually turn into a crystal due to entropy, or maybe this is wrong. crystalbrain spent their youth doing speed enemas in their brainus. crystalbrain has never had a husband, a wife, or any kids that grew up to be little crystalbrains. crystalbrain has no electricity in their neurons but just really cool lightning shit that is the domain of enlightenened stupidity.

in the beginning…

…there was a tv. this tv got fucked in the ass and decided to give birth to a brain. this brain was in the fetal state inside the tv tube. after growing on disney, the maligignant semen created by priests who jack off in confessionals created quanantum shifts in reality that caused tv to explode, and one of these broken tv shards was crystalbrain. he was lodged in teh brain of an infant but no one ever knew, and having caused brain damage to this infant created a negative feedback loop of complete stupididity. the child didn't know it, but his subconscious did, that he would have to rise up and get revenenge on the priest who jacked off in the confessional and created the abominatation that is himself. this was a life-long task and there were all kinds of hurdles to complete, includuding not getting molested by anyone, learning how to avoid doing basic arithmetic, making sure that he grew up with proper non-heterosexual orientation, programming dick pics in QBASIC, and smoking copious quanitities of marijuana, crack cocaine, and meth.

part 2:

crystalbrain read the book naked lunch by william s. burroughs but he was 2 stoopid 2 understand it, even though it was written on drugs. he had hallucinations from the movie blade runner and modern society seemed to open up to him and make him a king in his own mind. the only problem was that he was aktually in rehab for going psychotic from doing lots of drugs. this was an unfortunate side effekt of being the kind of guy who smokes crack all the time, and he found taht the best course of action would be 2 make noise music. so he did this and set up a set of speakers 2 blast merzbow in front of the archdiocecese of some city or another. this caused priests 2 roll on the floor in agony clutching a knife and cutting off their pedophile genitals, but only a few boys were saved from being completely groomed and molested by catholic priest guys.

the nuns did not approve, but fortunately crystalbrain had artificial intelligence training on how to deal with nuns with machine guns. was it he that had the machine guns, or the nuns who had the machine guns in taht last sententence? it may have been both because the nuns advanced on him with machine guns and virginity on their minds but he totally wiped out like a squadron of nuns and they were black and white and red all over. this was a monumenental acheivment and he went on 2 become the king of the church for 2 minutes until the national guard arrived, but using telepathetic mind control powers he was able 2 maek the national guard become on his side, so they went rampaging through the cities leik a bunch of methed up guys with machine guns, which they aktually were since he gave them all glass pipes and huge chunks of crystal meth to smoke. anyways they were going 2 taek over whatever city but they ended up having homosexual intercourse instaed. this was expected because dudes with guns aktually want 2 fuck guys in the ass but they're too dumb 2 realize this so they shoot ppl i guess.

crystalbrain wandered the streets liek a manic preacher, telling people the gospel of drugs, but he really had kind of ruined his life because now everyone wanted him dead. so he sort of shifted down into an alternate dimension on the darkweb where there was a metaverse where dudes were selling acid and he met a dude with a bunch of cryptocurrency and they had lots of drugs. so now crystalbrain went into the school playground near the place he grew up and started telling ppl that taking LSD is fun becuz he felt bad about the idea of selling meth to kids so he just sold them acid so they would hallucinate lots of gaping maws of infininity swallowing their minds and sanity in a psychedelic void.

to be continued…

part 3:

doing hard drugs took its toll on crystalbrain but he had magical powers 2 heal his body and mind he got from a ghost in a graveyard. he had stayed up for 4 days and realized that reality was bullshit and that he had the power 2 heal his wounds liek a greek god or something. then he went 2 try 2 stop a train with his bare hands but no matter how much crack he smoked the train always knocked him out of the way. he decided 2 taek a bunch of thermite and melt the railroad tracks on a train in russia and this indeed caused a crash but it wasn't as satisisfying as making it crash by standing in front of it and punching it. he had a vision, a goal in his mind taht he would one day punch a train and it would fly into the sun and burn up. this was a dream he held on to for dear life.

one day he discovered pcp and this was indeed the cure for his ailment of not being abel to punch a train into the sun. he smoked some marijuana that was laced with pcp and suddenly he was the most powerful being in all of eternity and it felt really great. he found a train and punched it so hard that when it hit the sun it caused a solar flair that heated the earth by 10 degrees fairenheight for a couple minutes. if u ever felt hot maybe u were in his reality where this happened (in some other realities he did not succeed in stopping the train and got hit by it and died i guess but this is the good reality we're talking about where crystalbrain punched a train into the sun and maeks NFTs still).

crystalbrain-zeitgeistxii

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crystalbrain-zeitgeistxii 1/1 | crystalbrain-zeitgeistxii

The mysterious art of crystalbrain...

ok. alrite…we have a sundial here i guess, but its a really fuckin abstract sundial, with a bunch of roman letters liek a clock i guess typed above it. it even says fucking "sundial" on it. hey u know what my favorite time is? when i get to eat food, or maybe when i punch myself in the face with a roll of quarters. u know why i do that? because a fist + money = -money - fist so its like not punching yourself at all and losing money. but this is bullshit because u still punched yourself and u have ur roll of quarters still.

time is a delicate subject 4 me, yes. i have always treaded on the topic of time with due caution, as it is definitely not something to mess with. time deserves respect! time is our friend! but did u know that time is just being split into three categories, the past, present, and future i guess. do i care or even understand such things? i do not, because i smoked so many drugs that i decided it wasn't worth thinking about anymore. did u know that time is a really complex thing, liek something that there's many views upon and scientific understandings of, and that its really hard to explain here because i'm limited by my crystalbrain 2 only 4 dimensions, but time is one of them, and time is on my side, yes.

people don't really get time, its a beautiful, beautiful thing that can be divided up however u want probably, but i wouldn't mess with it because its probably power itself or soemthing.

crystalbrain-kaleidospiral sun tunnel NFT 1/1

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crystalbrain-kaleidospiral sun tunnel 1/1 | crystalbrain-kaleidospiral sun tunnel

The mysterious art of crystalbrain...

ok, sometimes if u see a light at the end of a spiral, u don't know if the spiral is a womb or an asshole. maybe its both??? but at least u see the light, like you're wonderfully in the light totally freaking out liek "holy shit, there's some light wtf am i gonna do" and i don't really have an answer for that. u could just have a sandwich instead i guess. there's no need to go toward the light, didn't u learn anything from really shitty medical shows? or maybe u want to go to the light, maybe its nice and warm but personally i'm afraid of light because…..fire man, fire.

but birth! yes, ur born and the light is kind of liek, ok. gimmie my womb back, so ur tryin' to get back to the darkness but the light is tryin' to take u too, and this whole life its liek "AAHHHHH LIGHT GET ME BACK 2 THE WOMB MAN!" but is this smart? i don't know how to tell because i smoke my thoughts liek crack rocks in my neurons. its a losing game to think about the light; why not look at the cool patterns and shit? they're spiral, and squarish, and kind of magenta-pinkish; it's more of a winning proposition i guess, liek when u try to get a hooker and they say yes and u give her liek some money for sex or something.

gettin back to that light though; oh man, i dunno what i'd do about that, i'd prolly try to fly around liek some disembodied dude and possess some guy liek an evil spirit. maybe i'd find my body in an alternate reality and be liek "hey i'm taking this" and commandandeer it leik a fucking helicopter. yes. that is what i would do if i were forced to choose in this situation. then i'd just be chilling with my alternate reality body liek "look at me, i'm alive still, hahaha death fuck you"

crystalbrain-crack angel NFT 1/1 on opensea.io

OpenSea

crystalbrain-crack angel - Collection | OpenSea

crystalbrain...

ok, so liek, this is crack angel. wtf is a crack angel? well, it's an angel…of crack cocaine. yes, in the many strange dimensions that exist there are angels that are high on crack, or that dispense crack, or that want you 2 smoke crack so bad that they appear before u in all their glory and bid thee 2 smoke a rock from a crack pipe. crack angels can also serve as messengers of crack. liek, when reagan and bush smoked crack, there was an angel that appeared before them and said "i present 2 u the divine gift…of crack". and so we discovered that crack cocaine was liek a divine ambrosia, a divine rock that maeks ppl high as fuck and rant and rave about their sexual exploits. twas a strange day in teh multiverse when teh crack showed up with a promise that it would allow teh republicans to rule over central america. it twas such a great tiem…teh angel gave a huge ounce of coke, some baking soda, and other shit, and then with the sound of trumpets teh best microwave that money could buy came down from teh heavens and was installed in teh white house.

foreign dignititaries would come up to teh white house on officicial visits, but teh real reason they came is that they wanted 2 smoke crack. it was spread all throughout teh world's leadership, everyone was in teh white house hitting teh rock. they don't call it teh "white house" 4 no reason, bcuz coke is white man, coke is white. u gotta understand that under reagan, teh white house was teh world's biggest crack house. reagan was all coked up and he even wanted 2 change teh columns of teh white house into pure rocks of cocaine, but dick cheney said that this was a bad idea and wouldn't let him. so much 4 that idea. rumor has it that perestroika and glasnost happened in the USSR bcuz gorbachev smoked so much crack with reagan, and that spot on his head was a punishment from god for smoking too much of reagan's crack when it didn't belong 2 him. i don't know about this but it could be true, who knows?

and then there was the buttfucking…so many coke orgies with world leadership…