Your Anti Tony Ass Can Fuck Right off, Because Out Of 14,000,605 Possibilities The Only One Where They

looking @ ur girl’s selfies

I think I like Mulaney because he tells stories like how I tell stories:

Repeats things for emphasis.

Comments on parts of the story while telling the story, “You know, like how you talk to an 8 year old.”

Adds unnecessary details because I need to be fully immersed in the story I’m telling you. They hold no weight at all to the story but are purely for my own satisfaction.

Inserts random pop culture reference because my mind is basically the Wheel of Fortune and things just seemingly are linked (when they probably really aren’t ).

Facial exaggerations.

The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.

C. JoyBell C. (via coral)

being touchstarved makes u absolutely buckwild when someone does smth simple like .share a chair with u

Me in history class: Wow, humanity has been through some fascinating times!  I wonder if I’ll ever live through major historical events!

Me now: NO NO NO NO NO I WANT TO GET OFF THIS RIDE

not to be corny but friends supporting friends is the most important thing in the whole entire world

some boring straight dude: i hate wearing anything that’s not cargo shorts

tan france: this is so sad alexa can i get a patterned button down with a french tuck

what time do you need me? i am unavailable whenever that time is

it’s been 15 days since I said I’d make this post and it has taken this long because I used those 15 days to make this header because someone (me) forgot that you can probably find vectors of tombows online instead of making your own

anywho

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