On The Bright Side One Of My Packages Arrived But The Quality Kinda Sucked :/ That One’s On Me Though,

oof

I suppose I’ve just had the most unproductive weekend I’ve ever experienced. AP exams are closing in as well. A ton of schoolwork to do while the year closes in, a dying personal life, not mentioning the fact that I’m probably in trouble when it comes to extracurriculars. Missed some important harp stuff, so I’ll need to talk to my teacher about that.

Spilled my guts out to a friend over the past two days with little to no reaction, too, so I guess there’s that wonderful thing too. :/

Whenever I think it’s not possible to fall lower than this I end up surprising myself. Guess I should really just suck it up though. All this depressing stuff has been ruining my life and future, and I’ve done nothing to stop it.

Can’t really feel bad for myself anymore. This sucks. Maybe I am depressed, but I guess that’d be searching for excuses to inexcusable behavior. I should stop lying.

Whatever happened to determination?

Workload and toffee

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, and not for any good reason, being entirely honest. Once summer school fizzled out of existence, the days have been blurring together; suddenly there’s only a week until real school starts up again.

I’ve been working a lot today, and, thanks to my unhealthy way of working for extended periods of time and not feeling any different than from lying in bed, am able to cram my entire online French summer course in the next five days. 

Although the work itself is mundane, taking a third-person view on the entire ordeal excites me. I’ve started to work like the kid I’ve always wanted to be: Hours at a desk, chewing gum or drinking genmatcha tea, sometimes picking up the phone and chatting while I work when one of my friends calls me. I’ve even found about 300 index cards to write down daily goals and to-do lists!

Feels weird to congratulate myself on this kind of work even though I don’t feel any different than when I’m not doing any work at all. It’s like this for pretty much all the work I do, which is confusing since it always takes me hours to start any tasks even though actually doing it is a walk in the park. I’ve heard that that’s a form of lingering depression, but being entirely honest, I don’t think I’m that depressed  anymore. And even if it is sticking around, I’ve already beaten it to the ground the first time. What’s another round than just adding to the pot?

I’ve really been feeling better as of today. Still not sure why. Maybe it’s because of the toffee I made for my sister and I yesterday? It’s so sweet and doesn’t go with my tea, but it’s just fine with my morning coffee. I guess I’ll get to the bottom of this soon. For now, it’s right around 03:00- so I probably have to sleep in order to continue grinding through my French course tomorrow.

Goodnight!!

<3 Caramel

It's one of those days when eating alone feels extra lonely. I eat, but I'm not hungry. Nobody's sitting across from me, and the only sounds I hear are the leaves rustling in the wind outside.

One day, I'll make sure that none of us feel lonely again. We'll sit together, play games, drink soda, and laugh.

Throwback to the time I spent a lot of money on a gift to Sen's little sister... I really hope she liked it (´;ω;｀)

Would you enjoy a gift like this?

Just had the worst exam of my life... I didn't have my calculator, and nobody had an extra...

I'll let myself cry about it another time. I need to keep studying!

The Nintendo DS Eshop closes soon! :(

Starting March 27th, 2023, Nintendo is closing the doors to its eshop for the Nintendo 3DS systems and the Wii U. This means no more access to purchasing games or downloading demos, even through download codes. Even more, any payment feature on the systems will be disabled, including the Streetpass Mii Plaza, Nintendo Badge Arcade, and theme shop.

This means that today and tomorrow are the last days you can [legally] download this kind of content to your 3DS or Wii U system!

Since 2022, Nintendo has restricted users from adding funds directly to a 3DS account, but this can be sidestepped through a linked Nintendo Network ID wallet.

Thankfully, we can still enjoy online play, the only restriction being transactions.

I'll miss it so much!! Thank you, Nintendo eShop, for so many fun games! I'll be charging my 3DS today to buy Stella Glow through a friend's recommendation. Does anyone have any last-minute game suggestions?

<3Caramel

Got damn!!!

I wonder what will happen if I actually try to put some effort into my appearance.

Feeling so bad about myself on the regular, it shouldn’t be too much of a risk, right?

Mostly I just want to look presentable day to day

Who knows?

I need to finish soon. I've gotten so.much progress done already but it's all going to be gone if I don't finish soon my stuff is downstairs I can do it

it’s showtime boys

can i come over and play for 10000 years