Heres To The Other Dandelions Out There

A legend of our time

AO3 truly has captured the heart and the soul of our times

cooking show but the judge is just a random kid with autism related food issues. no one can figure out what criteria they use to judge "good food" from "bad food" least of all the judge themself.

I hate when I say things like "oh I want an ipod classic but with bluetooth so I can use wireless headphones" and some peanut comes in and replies with "so a smartphone with spotify?" No. I want a 160GB+ rectangular monstrosity where I can download every version of every song I want to it and it does nothing except play music and I don't need a data connection and don't have to pay a subscription to not have ads and don't have popups suggesting terrible AI playlists all over the menus.

Gimme the clicky wheel and song titles like "My Chemical Romance- The Black Parade- Blood (Bonus Track)- secret track- album rip- high quality"

The only two states of being.

Assorted Batkid Headcanons

During the middle days of Damian being Dick’s Robin, he was still figuring out how to show affection in a nonviolent way, so he just kept getting Dick fish. His logic was ‘Grayson has issues taking care of himself, so I will get him a pet that even he will find easy to care for’.

As a result Dick has an entire tank of various fish, all named Jim after Jim Gordon.

Dick finds this hilarious. Babs finds this hilarious. She’ll casually mention something ‘Jim’ did in conversation with her dad and watch as he bluescreens.

Tim has the pallet of a five year old. All he likes are exceedingly sugary sweet foods everyone else wants to puke while eating.

As a result, all he drinks are those stupidly sugary energy drinks that leave you seeing god after a few minutes. Is this unhealthy? No, it’s a liquid, therefor water, therefor good - Tim Drake.

Duke has purposefully broken his wrist to see if he would light up like a glowstick before. It didn’t work.

Cass shows her affection through objects, so a Batkid will often walk into their residence to find something like a metal bottle cap or a feather neatly placed on their table, without any security triggered or any other indication anyone was ever here. They all know to treasure these, no matter what they are.

Jason, given he’s built like a tank, will often hold things out of reach from people just to Be An Asshole. He loves it.

Damian used the same method of affection on Steph when she was his Batgirl, but had a bit more faith in her ability to not let something die, so he kept getting her small rodents, like hamsters and rats. She named them all after characters from Supernatural.

Stephanie had a huge Supernatural phase when she was 13 and never really grew out of it. She’s tried out summoning rituals from the show before.

Every single Batkid had a Warriors phase. Every. Single. One.

Dick was SO FUCKING HAPPY when Duke showed up because he finally had a brother who would happily give him a hug without having a panic attack due to TouchFuckery.

Steph has referred to the Batfam as “Furry Touchfucked McNuggets” before. No one questions it because she’s right.

Babs has designated snacks for every occasion. Program Taking Too Long To Load is Cheetos. Bruce Being a Bitchass On the Comms is popcorn. Done With This Bullshit For Good, I Swear is Twix.

Tim’s Notes app on this phone is entirely filled with sleep deprived 4am rants about why Star Trek is the superior franchise. He’s very passionate about it.

One time Bart was bored so decided to raid the pantry and he found Damian crouched on one of the top shelves, hissing like a cat and clutching a box of Weetabix. He took a picture and now it’s the YJ discord group icon.

Not exactly Batfam but the YJ Core Four + Cissie have a discord group chat and Tim’s the mod.

Damian loves Weetabix. Idk if anyone else knows what that is but that shit was my fucking childhood so he loves it.

Duke has tried and is currently trying to unionize all the kid sidekicks. They’re getting there.

Jason’s favorite authors are Mary Shelley and Jane Austen. Pride and Prejudice is his comfort book that he often reads after patrolling as way to wind down. He fucking hates Edgar Allan Poe with a passion for reasons he refuses to explain.

Cass will sometimes teach some dance moves to little kids while on patrol. Sure, she knows it’s not stopping violence, but when she sees another little girl with scars on her palms and wary eyes light up as she twirls in the air and laugh as she leaps, she thinks it’s worth it. More than worth it.

Jason’s found her doing this sometimes. Neither of them say anything.

The Batkids all love Jon. Yeah, move over Damian, don’t keep him all to yourself. They may have their own supers/alien besties, but Jon is just adorable, and they all want to smoosh the cheeks of a kid who won’t attempt to stab them for it. Look, he’s so cute. The day anyone bullies Jon beware, because the entirety of Gotham’s vigilante force will be there to wreak havoc upon you.

A Second Life 15

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Danny woke up slowly. It was already light in the room. The bed was empty. He sat up, alert, his heart starting to pound. Where was his dad? He couldn’t have left, right? He wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye to Danny, would he? NO. There was no way his dad would do that! Scrambling off the bed, he grabbed Jazz, throwing open the bedroom door and running down the hallway. It was against the rules to run in the hallways, but he honestly didn’t care at the moment.

He ran to the dining room. The sun hadn’t been that high, so Danny could only hope everyone was still eating. Nearly slipping as he raced around the corner, Danny was relieved to see that not only was his dad there, but nearly everyone in the family was as well, only Aunt Cass was missing. Rushing into the room, he ignored everyone except his dad, knocking into the chair slightly to hug his dad from the side. It hurt slightly, where his body dug into the chair. There was just enough room that he might be able to climb into his dad’s lap. 

Okay, maybe not, as he bumped the table hard, shaking it slightly.

“Danny!” His dad scolded, although not harshly. “You’re not going to fit. There’s some empty seats at the end, you can sit down there.”

Dejected, Danny made his way down the table, sending his dad the best puppy eyes he could manage. If his dad just moved back slightly, he could fit… but no. His dad didn’t budge. Danny sat down, hugging Jazz tightly. 

It hurt. 

His dad still loved him, he knew that. But he kept pushing Danny away, right before he was leaving too! It didn’t make sense. Was Danny bad? He’d been trying his best to be good, and he was pretty sure most of the days he was! Yeah, he’d yelled and kicked his dad on the first day, but he’d been a lot better since then! And yeah he didn’t always listen at first, and he may break the rules sometimes when he thought no one was watching, but they were the small rules! Like no running! 

Danny gloomily picked at the food, his hunger having disappeared in favor of what felt like a hard rock in his stomach. It was eggs, hash browns, and fruit. Stuff Danny usually liked. He tuned out the conversation around him. They were talking about his dad’s trip. Who was going to watch Danny (Uncle Jay, Grandpa, and Grandpa’s friend Clark), some of the ‘fun’ things he was going to be doing with his family. It wouldn’t be the same without his dad though!!! 

“Are you feeling alright, Master Danny? You’ve hardly touched your food,” Great Grandpa asked, worry evident in his voice. 

“‘M okay,” Danny fibbed. He hated lying, but he didn’t want Great Grandpa to worry even more. It was clear though that Great Grandpa didn’t believe him. 

“Matters of the heart are just as important as taking care of your body, Master Danny.”

Danny felt his lip wobble. Yeah. He knew that. He needed to talk to his dad, like how he’d done when he’d talked through his feelings about wanting to play with the Team and not wanting to use the Zeta tube. He just - bringing up his dad leaving for a couple days scared him, and made him feel vulnerable and alone. And it hadn’t even happened yet!

There was a sigh from the head of the table. 

“Danny.” 

It wasn’t loud, but it was his dad. Danny’s head snapped over to look at his father, hope welling within him. His dad scooted back, opening his arms. Needing no further prompting, Danny slid out of his chair, nearly knocking it over in the process, and raced over. He felt frantic, climbing into his dad’s lap, sitting sideways in it and looping his arms around his father’s neck, letting Jazz sit in his lap. 

Dany reached out, needing to feel the bond, needing to know that he was still loved. Danny sagged in relief, taking a shuddering breath upon feeling that he was still loved and adored. There was also worry and fear in there too. Was the worry and fear why his dad was pushing him away? Did Danny scare him with all of his powers? Dad said he didn’t scare him. Danny didn’t think that had been a lie. Dad didn’t lie to him, just… didn’t tell him everything always. 

“Hey cuddle bug,” Dad whispered, holding him close and pressing a kiss in his hair. “You doing okay little bird? You didn’t eat your breakfast.” 

Danny didn’t answer, just cuddled in closer. He didn’t have an answer to give. His dad sighed. 

“Hey Danny. I just wanted to ask you about something you said last night.” He looked up at his dad curiously. Something he’d said last night? What had he-? 

Oh no. 

He’d mentioned that he knew dad was Nightwing. 

It was supposed to be a secret, and he’d spilled it! It was fine though, right? He’d just told dad the secret, and dad was the one who the secret was about. He glanced around. Dad wanted to talk about it in front of everyone? 

Oh right. 

Everyone else was a superhero too. 

“Um, yeah, I remember what I said, even though I was real sleepy,” Danny said cautiously. 

“So, what - what makes you think that?” Danny tilted his head. His dad really wanted to go over this now?

“What makes me think you’re Nightwing?” 

The entire table was still, everyone listening in on Danny’s conversation with his dad. He didn’t like it, didn’t like so much attention on him. No, he couldn’t go invisible right now. Maybe later. This - this was important. 

“A lot of things. Do you want me to list them all?” There was a muffled snicker to the left of them. Uncle Tim. 

“Yes Danny, can you list them all.” 

“Well, okay. Like, everything about you physically is the same. And you both call me little bird. No one else does. Just like only Grandpa and Batman call me and other people chum. Um, our bonds are exactly the same. Exactly. And I’ve been paying attention. You’re never together. If Nightwing is there, then you aren’t. If you’re here, then Nightwing isn’t. OH, and, I may have purposely overshared with Nightwing when talking about you, dad. Then I checked the bond and Nightwing shouldn’t have reacted like that unless he was you! So yeah. That’s my evidence.” 

Danny puffed out his chest a bit towards the end. He was proud of his detective work! He’d done a great job! 

“It wasn’t hard to figure other people out from there.” 

“Figure out other people?” his dad asked, his voice higher pitched than normal and fainter than usual too. It sounded kinda strangled? 

“Yeah! Like I said, if you’re Nightwing, and Batman and Grandpa both call me chum, then they’re probably the same person. Their bonds are the same too. Plus, Dad, you told me that you were adopted by a nice older man. Nightwing told me the exact same thing. Also, I’m pretty sure Nightwing said that Batman was his dad, so if you’re Nightwing, then Grandpa is Batman!” 

At the end of his impassioned statement, Uncle Tim started laughing hysterically.

“Found out!” More laughter. “By a three week old! Oh Rao, this is the best!” 

“Tim,” Grandpa scolded. 

“Lay off old man, this is hilarious,” Uncle Jay protested. 

“Oh! Do me next! Danny, who am I?” Aunt Steph asked excitedly. 

“You’re Spoiler. Uncle Tim is Red Robin. Uncle Duke is Signal, Uncle Jay is Red Hood, Uncle Dami is Robin, and Aunt Cass is Orphan. Aunt Steph, who’s Batgirl? I have a toy of her, but I haven’t met her yet.” 

The once boisterous table turned silent again. Uh oh. That wasn’t a good sign. 

“She’s still around, but she tends to go by a different name now. We’ll go visit her after I come back, okay?” 

Danny nodded. He felt a little better now, in his dad’s lap and with the whole secret hero identity thing out of the way. 

“You can’t tell anyone about us all being heroes. That’s a big secret, and if people who aren’t supposed to know find out, they could hurt us or you. I don’t want to scare you, but you need to know it’s very dangerous if you tell people.” Danny nodded. 

“I know. I won’t tell anyone. It’s just like how my powers are secret, and I can’t tell anyone about them, otherwise they’ll try to vivisect me, right?” 

His dad’s eyes widened, a shocked and horrified look on his face. There was the tinkling of glass. Danny twisted his torso a bit. Uncle Jay had broken his water glass, a furious look on his face. Actually, pretty much everyone looked like they were trying to hide how mad they were. 

“Vivisect, Danny?” 

“Yeah, vivisect me. Or rip me apart molecule by molecule to figure out how I tick,” Danny added.

Why did that come to mind? It had to have been something from before. All the random things that popped in his head tended to be from before. He’d promised his dad he wouldn’t try to remember stuff from before if it was painful, but this wasn’t painful, this was just regular old stuff that he felt like people had told him all the time. 

“I think someone told me that a lot, but I don’t remember who. So I tried to hide just all the stuff and I would lie so I didn’t get hurt.” Danny frowned. “It felt bad to lie, but it was to protect myself.” 

“Hey Steph, Duke, Dami. You wanna go on a real quick trip?” Uncle Tim asked in a very cold voice. The three of them nodded solemnly. Dad looked conflicted, like he wanted to tell them no, but also yes.  

“If I didn’t have plans…,” Uncle Jay muttered with clenched teeth. Grandpa didn’t seem too happy either, he had a brooding look on his face. 

“You guys… can talk about going after my trip. Who’s going to hang out and spoil their favorite nephew while I’m gone?” Dad asked them, giving them all a look. 

“Yeah, and if you think that I’m not going to fu-fudging want in on this trip, you’re sadly mistaken. I’m going,” Uncle Jay declared, leaving no room for argument. 

“Fine. But after you come back,” Uncle Duke said, the others agreeing. “Besides, I’m sure Cass wants in on this too.” 

“We can introduce Danny to the Kents. They can watch him while we go on a very brief trip. I’m sure he will love spending time with Conner, and Clark would be happy to watch him as well,” Grandpa told the table. 

“I’m assuming this is something you want to be included on, Dick?” Grandpa asked Dad. 

“NO!” Danny yelled. “NO! You haven’t even left on this trip! You can’t plan to go on another one!” Danny pleaded, upset. 

“You wanted to hang out with Superboy, didn’t you Danny?” His dad asked. Oh. That certainly piqued his interest. 

“Yeah…,” he admitted. 

“Do you want a sleepover with him?” Danny’s eyes widened, his mouth opening to let out a small gasp. 

“Yes!” 

“If you go to the Kents, Superboy will be there, and you guys can have a sleepover. We’ll pick you up the next day. Won’t that be fun?” Danny eyed his dad suspiciously. 

“This feels like a trick. But I wanna have a sleepover with Superboy… Okay. I guess.” His dad ruffled his hair. Yeah, Danny felt like he was gonna regret that later. 

That was a problem for future Danny. 

“Right. Let’s get you dressed, and I can start packing,” Dad said standing up, taking Danny with him. Darn. His dad was still leaving. He’d briefly forgotten about that.

He was dropped off in front of his room. Danny hurried to get dressed and brush his teeth, having showered last night before he’d joined his dad on the couch. Once he was done, he went to his dad’s room, hopping on the bed. His dad had a small suitcase out, and was filling it with clothes. Underwear. Shirts. Pants. PJs. 

Danny eyed it. Could he maybe fit in there? He could be invisible, and just hang out intangible in the suitcase until his dad got wherever. It had been Paris, right? Yeah, he could do this. He looked up, his dad busy with collecting his toiletries. Danny made a duplicate, leaving it on the bed as he phased into the suitcase and then turned invisible. 

Yes, this would totally work. He would hide in the suitcase and go along with his dad! It was going to be hard to stay still though. And he had no idea how long it was going to take. He had Jazz with him too. His dad exited the bathroom, placing toiletries in the suitcase. Danny had to put his hand over his mouth to stop some giggles from coming out as a toothbrush, hair brush, toothpaste, and more were put inside his invisible chest. 

“Alright! All done! Do you want to play with your toys for a bit? There’s still an hour or two before I have to leave,” his dad said as he zipped up the suitcase. 

Oh no. Danny had no idea if the duplicates could respond. Luckily, it did.

“Yeah! Heroes!” came his own voice. 

Alright, it wasn’t great, but whatever. It would have to do. 

The suitcase was hefted up and…

Danny wasn’t in it. 

Thankfully he was still invisible! 

“Why don’t you go to the living room, and I’ll be there shortly. Just going to put this in the main hall.”

Floating up, Danny floated behind his dad, trying to get himself back into the suitcase. It took a few tries (it was even harder because the suitcase was moving!) but he was eventually able to get back inside, staying invisible and intangible the entire time. He assumed they’d gotten to the hall when everything stopped. Then he heard his dad walk away. 

Now… he just had to wait. 

It was very dark, and very boring, but he amused himself by talking quietly to Jazz. He sang to her a little song about soup time, since the cramped dark space reminded him of it, of soup time. He had no idea how much time was passing. It had to be a lot, right? An hour was sixty minutes, and there were sixty minutes in an hour and sixty seconds in a minute. He could start counting? Would that make the time go by faster, or slower? 

Then he heard fast footsteps. 

Oh, had the time already passed that quickly? Was his dad already leaving? 

To Danny’s utter shock, he felt the suitcase being tipped over, then zipped open, revealing the outside world once more. He stayed invisible and intangible, trying to be as still as possible. There was his dad, a thunderous scowl on his face, looking incredibly angry. His dad loomed over the suitcase. 

“Daniel Thomas Grayson! Get out of there right now!” his dad hissed, the fury evident in his voice. His dad couldn’t possibly know he was there- 

“Do not make me say it again,” his father warned. 

Scared and worried, Danny dropped the invisibility, then slowly clambered out of the suitcase before dropping the intangibility as well. Once he was tangible once more, clinging tightly to his stuffed elephant, his dad grasped his upper arms and shook him ever so slightly.

“Danny. What were you thinking?!? What if something happened to the bag? What if you weren’t taken along when I went through the Zeta tube?!? Did you really think that I wouldn’t notice that that was a duplicate?!? Danny! I am… so disappointed in you!” 

Danny began to cry, his core whining and quivering, begging for forgiveness. He’d disappointed his dad! He’d just been worried this morning about being bad, and then he’d had a stupid idea and it had gotten him in the worst trouble yet so far! So much worse than that first day when he’d been super tired! 

“Those tears aren’t going to sway me. You’re going in time out, mister. Now get up,” his dad ordered, still clearly angry. 

Stumbling slightly, he stood, one of his dad’s hands still on his arm, the grip firm, but not painful. His dad led him to the sitting room, then to the far corner. 

“You’re going to stay here and think about what you did. You have ten minutes.” 

Obediently, Danny sat in the corner, continuing to cry. He’d wasted some of the time he had left with this dad! That thought made him cry even harder. He’d messed everything up! Danny had thought he was so smart, figuring out everyone’s secret identities, that he didn’t think he’d be caught in the suitcase. That was dumb of him. 

Eventually his sobs subsided, his core calming down as well, till he was just sniffling and whimpering every so often. Distantly, he heard a timer going off, then his dad approaching. He glanced up from where he was sitting criss-crossed on the floor. Danny’s core trembled, fearing that his dad was still mad at him. Danny stood up quickly, ready to race forward and hug his dad. His dad would forgive him, right? And he’d get all sorts of cuddles? And they could spend the rest of their time before his dad had to leave together! And - 

“Wait,” his dad insisted, his arms reaching out, keeping Danny at arms length, unable to hug his dad. “What did you do? And why was it bad?”

Was this a trick question? He had to answer right, right? Or else he would be kept here? 

“Um - I - I hid in your suitcase,” Danny mumbled nervously. 

“And why was that bad?” His dad asked again. Danny gulped. 

“Uh, ‘cause I was trying to trick you into taking me along with you. And that wasn’t good.” 

“That’s right,” his father agreed, letting go of Danny’s shoulders, “Now, are you going to try and trick me again?”

“No.” 

“Good. Come here,” dad said, opening his arms. 

No longer held back, Danny rushed forward, his eyes stinging. If he had any tears left, he was sure he’d have started crying again. 

“Now. There’s only about an hour and a half left until I have to leave. So you and I are going to snuggle and talk. Because I’m going to miss you, and I want to spend as much time with you as I can.”

Dad brought him over to the couch, leaning back so he was stretched out along its length, with Danny on top of him. 

“Are you still mad at me?” Danny asked, worried. 

“No sweetheart. You know what you did wrong, you sat in time out, so I’m no longer mad. Time out was to make you think over what you did, and for me to calm down. It was for both of us. Remember how we talked about how emotions can be hard sometimes for adults too? Dad was having a hard time with his anger. It was important for me to take some time away to calm down, let myself feel the anger, and then let it go. My anger came from a place of fear, and worry. I didn’t want to say something mean because I was angry,” his dad explained, gently petting Danny’s hair.

“That doesn’t sound like you had a hard time with your emotions,” Danny accused with a small frown. His dad laughed. 

“Yeah, it doesn’t sound like that, does it? But remember, I’ve had lots of practice, so I knew what to do. Usually, when you get really angry, it’s best to take some time to calm down, and that usually means walking away from what’s making you so mad. I’ve been reading about calm down corners, and how they’re really great for kids to go to to calm down and to learn how to deal with their emotions. Would you possibly want one?” 

“A calm down corner? Um, sure? We can try it, I guess. Where did you hear about it though?” Danny asked, wrinkling his nose. Surprisingly, his dad blushed a little, looking embarrassed. 

“Well. Your Uncle Tim loves to research. So he’s been sending me all these articles on child development and Power Points that he’s made about raising a kid and how he’s going to be a great uncle. They’re good resources,” his dad admitted. 

“Why do you need them though? You’re a great dad, the best!” His dad grinned, leaning up to give Danny a kiss on his forehead. 

“You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that, little bird. Love you Danny.” Danny’s core thrummed happily, and he smiled. 

“Love you too dad!”

The two stayed cuddled on the couch, his dad eventually encouraging Danny to drink water. Apparently it was always important to do that after you cried. Dehydration. That’s what caused Danny’s headaches pretty much after every time he cried. Time was not on Danny’s side, as all too soon it was time for his dad to leave.

It didn’t feel real. It felt like an out of body experience, hugging his dad one last time before he walked into an area of the house Danny hadn’t really explored since playing Hide and Seek that first day. All he knew was that Grandpa Bruce’s study was in that direction. His dad would be Zetaing to wherever he was going, through the Batcave. Even though Danny now knew, they didn’t want him to find out where that was. 

It was hard, staying in the hall with Uncle Jason. It took everything in him not to run down the hall after the retreating back of his father. Danny gripped Uncle Jay’s hand really hard, although he was careful not to use his super strength. 

“You wanna make brownies with me?” Uncle Jay offered. “Have you had those yet?” Danny sniffed. 

“Yeah. Sure. No, I haven’t had them,” Danny croaked, his throat all scratchy. 

These next three days were going to suck. 

Notes:

Poor Danny. But hey, he did act out kinda. Also, kids do tend to push boundaries to determine how much they can get away with. He got a little overconfident after letting everyone know that he knew what all of their hero personas were. 

Also, I was really spoiled and two people made fan art for this fic! 

There is this wonderful piece by Impy’s Sad Obessions over on Tumblr! It’s the scene where Danny and Damian are painting. It’s fantastic! 

There is also this one by Inky-wings on Tumblr. It’s Danny and Jay cooking! It’s so adorable. 

Thank you, as always, to the wonderful Harthic for betaing my fic! If you’re interested, come check out my other fics on ao3!

Reblog this if you had to learn cursive writing as a child

If you were ever told or were made to learn cursive writing when you were in grade school. I wanna see how many of you suffered like I did.

REBLOG: go to your blog and click the egg to see what hatches

the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk

When Jason starts building his crime lord career, people start inexplicably comparing him to Matches Malone. They have the same mannerisms, the same fighting styles and a similar build. Some rogues even have theories that they're the same guy.

So when ever Matches is mentioned, red hood mutters "fuck that guy" under his breath and since Bruce puts his whole batussy into his personas, he's starts reciprocating that energy. All the rogues are scrambling to find out what happened to cause this beef. The entire Gotham underground now has to pick a side between one of their own who they've worked with and gotten to know over the years versus the new up and coming crime lord that's offering jobs and improving their lives. While Jason is wondering what he can do to stop being compared to Bruce, Bruce is trying to be a supportive parent (which means making sure the rogues don't turn on J) while protecting his persona he's been curating for years.