I Hate When I Say Things Like "oh I Want An Ipod Classic But With Bluetooth So I Can Use Wireless Headphones"

I must be the weirdest student. Can figure out complicated cataloguing systems because it Just Makes Sense. Struggles with assessment scenario because she got paralysed drafting an email to a fictitious manager because she didn’t know how Formal they wanted it to be.

My tutor: so do you need any help with understanding the cataloguing systems?

Me, absent-minded: oh nah that’s fine, I can do that

My tutor: haha wow you must be blazing through this topic the—

Me, on the verge of anxious tears: but how do I format an e-mail to a fictional manager I’ve never spoken to before I’m so confused

-

My teacher: can anyone explain ISBN?

Me: (starts to detail what ISBN is with great articulation)

My teacher: so here’s an exercise question for the last half an hour of class, feel free to ask any question— oh yes?

Me, emanating Super Anxious Vibes: so like. what exactly are we doing?

My teacher: uh. It’s all written in the question.

Me: no I know. I understood the sentence. But. How. How do you want us to do it? I’m— I’m confused.

My teacher: ???? Is this the same person??? What?

when the “10 tips on how to make showering easy for disabled people” list doesn’t include a shower chair or a shower/changing table or grab bars etc, i know they don’t care about us physically disabled people.

good for u that turning off the lights and lighting a scented candle instead and listening to music or put on a show and using a bath bomb etc etc helps u but like none of those tips are that beneficial for physically disabled ppl specifically.

it’s good that those tips are there but for once we’d love to be included.

I just had the voice from the VHS that said coming soon stuck in my head repeatedly saying coming soon this fall over and over and it couldn’t stop.

I know we all talk about Jason finding out Dick killed the Joker from Tim or one of the other batfam members, but what if:

One day he’s searching for blackmail material on a member just for fun and knows Damian keeps a list of all of them so he backs into the files and realised the folder with the heaviest inscription to unlock is one labelled “Contingencies”.

He opens it to find every single person in their family is on there and starts surfing through them. When he sees Tim’s he freezes, mentally filing away some horrific details for checking up on him later, Jason’s list is impressive but not much he didn’t expect…still concerned how he got the evidence though.

His fingers hesitate over Batman’s, and after thinking screw it what the hell clicks on it just to realise most of them are psychological, and had to do with Jason. One video showed Bruce as Jason remembered him from his robin days. He was pacing furiously in the Manor, tugging on his pocket square which for him was a high level of distress, before he went upstairs - to Jason’s room when he stayed there - and looked in. The change was sudden, Bruce’s shoulders sagged and his face grew into one of fondness, one he’d rarely seen before.

“I cant help it Alfred.. Scarecrow’s toxin.. I KNOW it isn’t real but.. I can’t stop thinking about it. What if -“ and Jason can’t really believe his ears, that was a fucking quiver in his voice- “What if one day it comes true?” “What was your worst fear Master Bruce?”.

“Jason..” and Jason flinches. “I.. I saw him die, and I was powerless. I cant lose him Alfred. I just cant.”

The recording ends, and it takes a while for Jason to realise he can’t breathe. He sends the file to himself and laughs bitterly, remembering what the fear toxin had shown him. Lucifer. It had shown him falling from Bruce’s grace, being his greatest disappointment. “Guess we both failed each other didnt we old man?”

After what feels like forever, when he can feel his fingers stop shaking his eyes drift over to Dicks.

Damian sure does adore him, wonder what the brats got in store for him.

Most of them were things he was sure Dick could handle, until a glitched file appeared which read “for EXTREME situations only.”

When he heard Joker laugh, Jason could’ve sworn he was in the cave. “Hello there old friend! Aww why the long face?”

Dick wasn’t facing the camera, but the sheer aura of destruction radiating off of him was enough for Jason to know Joker was in danger. Judging by his outfit and well- hair- this must’ve been years ago.

“Didn’t you like my..ah.. gift? It was quite the blast I hear!”

Dicks fists clenched. His usual smile was gone, replaced by a hatred so vile it could’ve rivalled batman’s glare. It was so odd.. seeing him so pissed.

“Well that’s what happens.. when birds get hit. They never see what’s right in front of them and then BAM!”

As his laughter rang out Jason heard Dick whisper something. It was so soft, quieter than he’d ever heard him and he found himself leaning forward.

“What’s that? How long he lasted? Well I counted everytime he screamed when I broke his bones so-“

“SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!”

Jason stumbled back, nearly falling to the floor himself. Dicks voice was thundering, echoing across the cave.

What the hell had happened? Why was Dick so mad? Why wasn’t he smiling?

“You..killed him.”

And that’s when it hit Jason. Oh. This was after he’d died.

The joker was trying to say something, but Jason couldn’t hear him. All he could focus on was how Dick was behaving, how he was walking upto Joker. Jason had seen that before.

The intent to kill.

SLAM

The fight was brutal, and blood flew everywhere, mixed with the laughter and cries of the Joker while Dick yelled, YELLED so loudly he could’ve sworn the cave was shaking before the sound of a wet snap ricocheted and Dick went limp.

No.. no no no no.

He watched in horror as Dick stood up, drenched in blood and heaving. Dick had gone- no BEATEN- the joker for Jason.

But the longer he looked, the more he felt the Lazarus pit burning inside him.

The joker wasn’t moving.

Dick walked away, and in the shadows, with bloody fists and face of hatred could not see him as the Dick he knew.

“Dead.”

He looked up to hear Dick whisper to the thundering sky outside.

“I killed him Jason. The joker is dead. Rest in peace little wing.”

Jason’s feet gave out under him, and he crashed to the ground gasping for breath.

Never in his wildest dreams had he thought he had been avenged.

Never did he even think that Dick had only killed once… and only for him.

Part two of related series where Jason finds out Bruce nearly killed the Joker:

ghost swing 👻 🎸

This tool is designed to overcome your executive dysfunction by asking you questions and leading you to a helpful answer.

IT’S HERE

(Updated link 3/11/23)

Omg He’s dead?!? No!!

Inspired by this post

In order for Danny to go ghost he has to die. Every, single, time. While it was definitely concerning at first, there r only so many times u can die and be ok before u just stop freaking out about it.

This is why when a 20 y/o Danny gets kidnapped by a cult that intends to use him as a sacrifice to a demon, he is oddly calm about the whole thing. As soon as they kill him he’ll just turn into a ghost and stop them so it’s fine.

Problem, he was expecting the summoning part of this whole shebang to happen after his death. Whatever, he’s fought demons before so as soon as they do kill him he’ll just have to kick this guy’s ass and then put a stop to the cult.

Only he’s plans r changed, get again, when some of the batkids show up before the cult can kill him. Double fuck bc it’s clear these guys r not equipped to handle a demon and with how he’s a little tied up right now he can’t really kill himself. So with very limited options he resorts to asking the heroes to kill him.

Needless to say, Nightwing is very concerned about the seemingly suicidal hostage. Red Robin is confused as fuck and decided it’s probably best to leave the guy tied up until they could drop him off at a hospital. Spoiler thinks the guy’s just joking but gets more concerned the more he insists they kill him. Hell even Robin and Orphan are thrown off by the guy’s repeated requests for death as the fight goes on.

It’s at this point that Red Hood, getting tired of the guys voice, decided to actually asks the guy why he wants to die.

Problem with this is Danny fucking sucks at explaining things and for some reason thinks “I can totally kick that demon dudes ass but like, only if I’m dead.” Is a satisfactory answer.

For most of the bats it’s not. For Hood tho? Who has a better understanding of magic than the rest of the fam and has been wanting to shut this guy up all fight?

“Seems legit.” *BANG*