Honestly... The darkness scares me more now rhat i have a life im excited to love for. i actually have peolle in my life that care about me and i realize that, which is terrifying because i dont wanna hurt them like i wanna hurt myself ya know?
What if im making a mistake...
- this could go terribly wrong....
Ive become so impulsive lately, im scared of what i might do next.
-i might do something even more permadent than dying my hair, piercing my own ear, or kissing my ex
Is this what happiness feels like? Its been so long, i cant quite remember...
Why am i never enough for anyone?
I knew it was too good to be true. I just knew i couldnt be happy for long.
Ive memorized every part of you. I can remember how your hair feels in my hand. I remember how perfect your teeth are when you smile. I can recall perfectly how your lips felt on mine. I can visualize your perfect face. I can still hear your laugh. I can feel your breath as you whisper in my ear. I remember your hands, and how they fit perfectly in mine. I can remember how close you hug, and how your hand slides down my back. I can remember every single thing about you so clearly. I remember every single thing you made me feel. Whenever i remember this, it makes me want you again. Thats what i'm sure about. So i guess my question is; Why arent you sure after all thats happened between us? Do you remember every detail of me? Do you think about me as much as i think of you?
He broke me so many times, but for some reason i'm only at peace when im with him
- i know this will end horribly, but im out of here soon anyways...
I had 1.5 cups of soup, and 4 oreos today (My friend offered me and i couldnt make her suspect anything). I feel so fat and bloated its not even funny. I wanna throw up, but im going to try to keep it down. I used to eat and binge daily, but now my self hate overrides any and all cravings
Im screaming on the inside, and you dont care.
this is so inspiring. I want to be like this. I want to say I went a full year without sh.
I want my scars to be almost gone, but not completely.
I want to be happy and depression and anxiety free,
I want to be ready for the rest of my life.
1 year without self harming
1 year since the break up that I thought would kill me
1 year since moving to a new city all alone
1 year since starting therapy for my PTSD from csa
1 year since changing my antidepressants
1 year since starting medical school
1 year since life broke me ...and I climbed out of the rubble stronger