Reblog If Ur A Disgusting Piece Of Shit

Shiro definitely sleep walks searching for cuddles

Idea by @alexa-doodles

he doesn’t regret this purchase @keithvkogane

Lance: *walks into the living room to see Keith on the couch, scrolling through his phone as Red rests on his chest* hey–

Keith: *snorts* oh my gosh *shows phone to Red* looks at his face

Red: *blinks at Keith*

Keith: I know right

Lance: *tears streaming down his face* hey, babe

Keith: oh! Lance! What’s wrong??

Lance: you are the most perfect human to ever exist and I’m so glad I married you I can’t wait to spend my whole life with you you’re so precious and beautiful and pure and I’d die for you–

Keith: I haven’t showered in five days, but thanks, I love you too

Klance headcanons cause I’m lonely af

Those two love the more kinda simple dates. Like movie theatre dates, then going out for dinner, and just walking around while they hold hands.

Lance has this scarf he stole from Keith and he wears it all the time

Keith: “babe, why do you have to wear that scarf? It seriously doesn’t even go with the outfit your wearing.” Lance: “so what? Let me wear it.” As he sticks his tongue out at him

Keith also got them each kind of matching rings that they wear every single day cause 1. YOI and 2. Cause he thought it was nice

He also got them these two little matching magnets because “even if they ever broke up or if they were far apart, they’d always be able to find each other”

Keith thought it was kinda cheesy but lance is a slut for cheesy stuff

While Keith gets the deep gifts, lance gets Keith stuff like a rainbow knife or a Deadpool key chain cause Keith loves Deadpool

They also compare themselves a lot to other characters they ship

Keith is Deadpool while Lance is Spider-Man. Keith is Yuri while Lance is Victor. Etc.

Lance is a huge hugger but Keith’s kinda the jealous type

Lance: *hugging hunk* Keith: *clearly mad, next to pidge* I’m telling you! He loves everyone except for me

Oh! Keith also loves going to visit Lance’s family even though they kinda do scare him a little bit.

He just isn’t used to having that many people around him, but he loves the energy and hearing lance speak Spanish to his family even if he has no idea what they’re saying

They kind of mess around with Keith a lot and target him. Lance’s sister: “Keith! Okay so if you want to say ‘I’m hungry’ you say ‘Ay papito dámelo’” and Keith of course tries saying it

Lance and everyone laugh at him while Keith is confused and lance tells him it means “daddy give it to me”

Keith blushes really hard but Lance thinks it’s adorable and Keith knows he’s loved in the household. They just like to have their harmless fun

Keith also loves taking care of Lance’s nieces and nephews.

He’ll gladly shower then or feed them whenever it’s needed because there’s always so much going around when they visit Lance’s family

Honestly, it makes him think about how he’d love to have children with Lance someday

Lance has thought about it too while he saw Keith singing his niece to sleep

-chants- part 2! part 2!!

a few of you have asked, i shall deliver (part 1) (also sorry this is more of a plot than headcanons. i got super into it)

On part 1 we ended with Lance making a revelation, so we’ll be picking up there. He storms into Keith’s room as the rest of the castle sleeps. Keith wakes up as Lance shouts “KEITH HOLY FUCK” 

a tired Keith scrambles out of bed

K: ARE WE UNDER ATTACK?

L: what? no! something more important than that. You… have been flirting with me… since the galaxy garrison.

Kill bill sirens go off in Keith’s head

K, internally: say something cool, like ‘well i didn’t follow you across the universe for nothing’ 

K (what he actually says): uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhyeah

The two kind of just stand there for a second, looking at eachother, waiting for the other to make a move. Lance finally breaks the silence

L: Why?

K:………becauseireallylikeyouandyou’recuteandididn’tknowhowtosayitbecausei’manidiot 

L: can you say that slower? 

K: i just… i really like you! and i’ve never really liked anyone like this before and i just- forget about it. 

Now the kill bill sirens are going off in Lances head

L, internally: say something sweet and meaningful back 

L(what he actually says): cool beans 

And the prolonged silence starts again. They both have a billion thoughts going on in their mind but they can’t seem to say any of them.

 Lance’s less than perfect response is rejection in Keith’s mind. 

K: seriously, you can leave. Sorry for making things weird

L: UUUuuuhhh no. i mean, i don’t not like you back if that’s what you’re thinking. I mean… i like you too. 

K: … you do? then why have you not picked up on my literal 2 years of attempts to get with you?

L: maybe because the first thing you ever said to me was ‘go die in a fucking ditch’  That… might have something to do with it. 

The two have moved from a tense silence to a more light silence. They both have butterflies in their stomach and they’re 2 fools falling hard for each other

L: i… don’t know what to say

K (for once he actually meant to say something cool, and said it!): Then don’t say anything at all

Keith steps forward and takes lance’s face lightly in his hand. Keith paused for a second, sort of waiting for approval. He got it when Lance leaned in first, and then they were kissing. 

‘Dancing Queen’ played in Lances mind as they Kissed

Keith’s mind…….. oh jeez. this poor boy fell so hard. A kiss he’d been imagining for years was now a reality and all his senses were just exploding. In a good way. 

Keep reading

I can’t b r e a t h

Peter, v-logging with his phone camera: Hi I’m Spi- I mean, Peter Parker, and today we’re going to witness firsthand people’s reactions after they’re told they have big dick energy. Let’s go!

Peter: What’s up, Thor. Dude, I just wanted you to know that you radiate big dick energy today.

Thor: God of thunder in the streets, god of big dick in the sheets, I suppose.

Peter, checking to see if he’s still recording then proceeding to give a thumbs up: I stan so hard. Legends only.

Peter, bumping into Steve reading the paper: Cap! Ah, have a moment? Word on the street is that you have big dick energy. Thoughts?

Steve, choking on his coffee: I-I guess the serum did have… its effects…

Peter: Oh my god.

Peter, finding Bucky watering flowers: Hey, man. Love what you did with your hair today, may I enlighten you on the fact that you have, putting it modestly, very big dick energy?

Bucky, looking into the camera like he’s on the office: …Parker what the hell.

Peter, breaking into the sanctum: Wow doctor, looks like you got a super serious case of chronic big dick energy there.

Strange: Listen. There’s kinetic, potential, thermal, chemical, electrical, even the vague concept of dark energy. But there is no big dick or whatever you just—

Peter: You’re no fun.

Peter, after buying a plane ticket and flying to Wakanda unsupervised: As king and black panther, your highness, your reign is supreme and so is your big dick energy.

T'challa, amidst a breakdown: Noo!!! Stop!! You and Shuri, I am begging you, please, I have no idea what that means!!!!

Peter, approaching Tony relaxing on a lounge chair: Now for The Man. The one and only, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. Mr. Stark, are you aware you have big dick energy?

Tony, lowering his shades: Kid, I invented big dick energy.

Peter, tearing up: I know.

Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.

On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.

The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy

Funny story about this picture. So i went with my friend to a mountain place called bald rock. It was cool and got a lot of nice pictures but on the way out I was hanging off a little bridge thing for a picture of the stream. Yknow. As you do for pictures. And I saw this lady walk by in a (possibly) wedding dress and decided, this young woman looks amazing and so natural just like that so I’m gonna take a picture right now. And I did and don’t regret it at all because she looks great.

Wii Sports theme but it’s played on the game’s packaging