OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOST HIM!!! I LOST JOHNATHAN!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I get embarrassed when I'm lip syncing alone.

Like, what if the ghosts are watching me doing these crazy ass arm moves because I'm pretending to be in my own music video?

What if air itself is looking at my fucking wack head movements and laughing at me?

Person 1: There's only 2 genders! Count them! 1! 2! Nonbinary is just made up!😡🤬

Person 2: You're either a top or bottom. There's no in between. And if you can't choose then you're just wasting my time.😒

Person 3: Uuhhhh...You either like girls or guys. You HAVE to pick a side.🙄🙄

My gorgeous bisexual nonbinary sweetheart who is also a switch:

Instructions not clear

I asked myself that and my brain said 'everything' very loudly.

How about a strawberry flavored one?

I’m gay and I deserve a battle axe.

Most people I went to highschool with had a job at 16 and were expected to pay for their own food, insurance, and part of the rent.

iT BUiLds Characters kIDs! (x)

Women: *just doing their jobs and they accidentally show 5cm of their ankle*

All men within a 5 mile radius:

The story behind The Laundress.

I was talking to a kid in my daughter’s class today, and she said that she thought it would be fun to write a story about the Titanic, but with supernatural creatures.

So I said, “Yeah, that would great! What would the creatures do? Would they save the Titanic from sinking?”

And she gave me the most disgusted look. I have never seen a 9 year old face look so appalled.

“No,” she said, speaking very clearly so as to never be so grossly misunderstood again, “they’re going to eat the passengers.”

God I hope she lets me read it.

Hi everyone I would like you to meet my new friend, Johnathan.

He is a baby rollie pollie and I love him.

Someone is cooking bacon and eggs on my apartment floor. wHO TF IS MAKING A BALANCED BREAKFAST AT 6 P.M.!