I Hope He Misses Me.

I could stare at you forever. I wish you were mine.

I don’t know how to explain it but just being alive causes me pain

The world is too loud, existing is overwhelming, people expect so much more than I can give

I fail at being alive every single day

I feel so ashamed to be so broken

But I don’t know how to be any other way

craving validation from exactly the wrong person. slay

bpd culture is needing everyone to love you constantly

.

missing his voice.

Can’t feel anger without physically punching walls or holding in the intrusive violent urges so much that it makes my arms physically burn and hurt

Can’t look at someone who’s even moderately attractive without desperately falling in love and imagine a whole life together

Can’t feel “happy” or moderately excited without feeling like my chest is about to burst and the only way to get it out is to literally vibrate and yell

Can’t feel sad without spiralling immediately into just wanting to stop existing

Can’t feel nervous without teeth chattering chest burning about to throw up

Or just don’t feel anything at all when (apparently) I am supposed to

bpd culture is wishing you could feel emotions normally

.

I thought I felt this way because I miss you but I probably just have a disorder. Maybe it’s both.

no you guys I’m acc down so bad it’s not even funny anymore

The cold seasons are for the poets

Who set their hearts on fire

To stay warm