I Could Stare At You Forever. I Wish You Were Mine.

Im so delulu. I’m stuck feeling like I’m living in a dream of some kind. Like I’m just a stumbling energy of some kind clunking around and into things at times. I literally forget people can see me sometimes.

And other times I feel like a young god.

Feeling evil (just wanna be loved by someone that only has eyes for me)

I want you to dig your hands into my flesh and pull all my bones out one by one and get rid of this humming ache under my skin

Without my mental illness I wouldn't know who I am but, because of my mental illness I have no sense of self. Like the logic is super crazy.

"just be yourself" i dont know who the fuck i am

Tw bpd vent

If you don’t want to deal with someone with mental issues don’t. I always warn new friends that I have bpd and I am going to show symptoms. Then they get surprised when I do.

Unless ur my parent you don’t have to deal with me. If you can’t handle it just be fucking honest. I don’t have the energy to be disappointed.

And no I’m not talking about “oh you can’t handle being abused, fuck you” I’m talking about when ppl get pissed that you have mental breakdowns a fuck ton of the time.

Or ignore them because you’re too depressed to talk. That type of shit.

I wanna talk to you so badly but then why does every conversation with you taste bitter and make me feel sick

I always type long messages for you and then leave them there. I’m worried I might accidentally hit send one day.

I want to pull out all my teeth randomly one night and then scare the shit out of people the next day. Or pull out every alternate tooth so none of them are touching and then put silver caps on the rest of them haha

The way I was so upset and tired and I started to dissociate and drift off and then I got a text message from you and my mood instantly changed. I couldn’t stop smiling and I was bouncing on my feet. And you have no idea. Text me back u rat I need saving again.