Day 4

04/16/2025

Another day, another log ✨ It actually feels nice to have this check-in every day to see how I'm doing mentally and academically. Still not sleeping a lot this week because I call this month the "finals month" of PhD... Have a lot to finish, still have new tasks that get added each week, and I'm not even sure how many full days I have to take a break from it all after this month and in summer =/ Not the best situation, but at least I still get to do some things I like in the meantime 🩵

Current mindset:

Completed

✅ School ✅ Case presentation (woohoo!) ✅ Part-time job ✅ See clients ✅ Get an oil change for my car! ✅ Get gas for weekend traveling ✅ Phone call with partner ✅ Client plan ✅ Phone call with a friend ✅ Watch Everyone Loves Me ✅ Dinner ✅ Clinic notes x2

To-Dos

⏹️ Clinic report - results 6 part 2 ⏹️ Clinic report - results 7 ⏹️ Clinic report - results 8 or Thesis - bullet points ⏹️ Shower?

[End of study: 12:18am] I got frustrated with the cdrama so I ended up skipping through some episodes and stopped doing work for a bit... Ngl I'm getting tired so I think I'm gonna speed through one more episode and call it a night. Good night, lovely humans 🥱

Day 3 End

School days feel like a blur sometimes. Waking up to my alarm while I'm still half asleep; rushing to take my dog out before class; hurrying to class so I'm not late - just speeding through the day until it gets dark outside and I'm still on my laptop by midnight.

I did most of what I planned to accomplish, but somehow I still feel like I should have done more. Probably expressed by the part of me that needs to overachieve.

Tomorrow's a new day, and I have a new goal. Will check back in again for continued progress =)

~**~ Pinterest Inspirations ~**~

I have been overwhelmed lately with everything I realize I need to finish by the end of the semester, which is in 7 weeks. Sadly, my birthday is within the next 7 weeks, and I would hate to be stressed out on my birthday weekend. I was in a similar spot last year having to finish preparing for a presentation the night before my birthday. I wish it would've been different. And I so do not wish this fate upon myself again this year.

Another year, a better me.

It's time to change how I handle my schoolwork and life in general. No more hiding away or being frozen in place. I have to keep my eyes open no matter what comes my way and see it for what it is - a challenge I have been trained to overcome. It just gets a little scary when everything gets thrown at you at the same time.

~**~ Pinterest Inspirations ~**~

I've been keeping this in my inventory for a while, but today felt like the right time to add this to my collection 🩵 I feel like I learned it when I saw this 2 weeks ago, but today I understood it. I have been hustling and bustling all my life, and I don't always take the time to care for myself and slow down. Today, I did. It felt so nice being able to walk home before the sun set, to play a quick game online before easing into a delicious nap on the couch with my dog.

It is so nice to be able to breathe again. To feel whole, to feel loved, to feel held.

Middle of Day 1 Recovery

Spent some time with a friend and started working on a minor task that I had been procrastinating on. Feels good to finally get it done, even though it is not that important in the grand scheme of things.

I feel a little bit more in control when I feel like I don't need to be a couch potato 24/7 (no judgment if someone chooses to be this way). I just realized that I need something to distract me from falling into a dark hole of depression and self-pity. I think today hasn't been too bad =)

I like this post! It reaffirmed some things I've learned in the past =)

Two things I would modify from the first two bullet points under the first point are:

Be authentic: Don't fake it if you're feeling not OK, sad, or other negative emotions. You don't need to fully explain yourself (it's a privilege for the people who care about you and you trust). But don't hide your true self and put on a mask just because you don't want to scare people away. Life has its ups and downs. The right people for you are going to understand that we have our feelings and it's OK.

Understand what you needs and communicate your needs: I learned this from my therapy training. There are times we want to vent, to scream, to cry, to talk about our problems with someone else. If you have experienced people pulling away because you're talking about your problem or "complaining," it might not be because you shouldn't talk about your problems and just go figure it out yourself. It might be due to the people you talk to do not know what you need and they want to handle your problem based on their own way. They could also have low energy when you share with them and they do not have extra energy to share your pain. If you want to vent, ask the person you want to talk with if they have the time and energy for you to vent about what is going on. And if you cannot find someone to vent to and you know you need someone to give you a safe and non-judgmental space to talk, it is always an option to see a therapist and see if it is what you need.

Have a wonderful day, lovely humans 🩵

how to build bridges and make meaningful connections ❀•°❀

for the girlies who want more than just superficial relationships

1. be the kind of energy that people want to stay around

be light, not draining. bring warmth, humor, and softness where you can. I always try to smile at people when I talk to them or see them, and people notice how I'm happy to hang out with them. just bringing a positive energy immediately draws people towards you.

try not to complain. everybody has struggles, and while venting can feel natural, it can also quietly drain the energy from conversations and people listening. personally, I struggle with this too. but, when we constantly focus on what's wrong, we unknowingly push people away. no one wants to feel like every conversation is a weight to carry.

instead, try adding something lighter or more meaningful. instead of saying, "I'm so stressed," try "this week is super busy, but I'm making time for a break soon." it's not about pretending that life's perfect, but being mindful of the energy you bring to a space.

show up with consistency. make plans for lunch and actually show up. remember small things that they say in conversations. it's always the greatest feeling when someone remembers that I had an important performance or difficult test and then ask me about it afterwards.

2. connect through conversation

make eye contact. it's uncomfortable, I get it. but, when you look someone in the eye while they're talking to you, it makes you look 1) more engaged about what they're saying, and 2) more genuinely appreciative of their presence. practice doing it little by little every day, and soon, it will become like second-nature.

share stories, not just facts. I think that conversations come alive with small stories with details that make moments memorable. for example, instead of just saying “I had a phone as a kid because I was on the soccer team” (fact), i added layers: “I got a phone because I went to soccer matches as a kid! I was terrible at soccer, but I helped the team by tricking opponents into thinking I’d get the ball. basically, I was a glorified decoy” (story). true story, by the way.

3. acknowledge them, even if you are not actively hanging out.

greet them by name. when you see them while walking, make an effort to remember their name and say hi. I feel that greetings come off as much more genuine when I address them personally.

if you don't know their name, still make an effort to smile and wave. I would still appreciate it if someone takes the time to acknowledge me, even for a little moment, because it shows that they care.

4. embrace compliments and connection

take compliments. I'll be the first to admit, I struggle with this too. but, isn't it a bit awkward when you give someone a compliment and they instantly deflect it with "oh but I look so ugly today like my hair is whack and my eyeliner is uneven" (calling myself out...)? instead, I think it's best to thank them genuinely for noticing you, even if you don't fully agree with their compliment. receive it with gratitude, not self-criticism. it's not about actually being perfect, but appreciating the kindness behind their words.

compliment them back, and be observant about it. you could just say, "you look amazing too" (though that's still nice). but, the next step could be noticing something specific, like their earrings or the way they carry themselves. or, share what you actually admire about them, like their kindness or determination. it's about making your compliment feel personal and thoughtful.

if you admire someone, tell them. it only sounds fake if you make it fake.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

remember, real connections are built on authenticity and kindness. it's not about being perfect. it's about being genuine, showing up, and appreciating the people around you. now, you just have a few more tools on how to make these connections and be the friend that you would appreciate in your own life.

thank you for reading all the way through as always. wishing everybody all the good things in the world and a blessed rest of your day <3

sending lots of love, q's playlist

Transitions are hard...

Like I know I got diagnosed last year with ADHD, but I haven't felt like this in so long? Seriously, I don't know how I've functioned so well in college, and now in PhD, my brain is starting to give up on me.

I wish my school or someone had taught me how to use a neurodivergent brain growing up. Maybe it would be less difficult right now.

It feels like I make a plan, and then the next thing I know, my brain chooses not to follow it cause it's not exciting enough. I wish I could just work 4 hours a day and then rest and recharge using the remaining time. I know this is impossible with my current workload and commitment, but I can't wait for that day to come when I can create my schedule and I don't have to worry about not having enough income each month.

Good luck my pals who are also neurodivergent ~

04/03/2025

Decided to take it chill today. And truly, I keep reminding myself that I deserve it. Yes, I can study more, always. But do I want to not let myself take a break and rest after finishing 2 group projects? No. I need to take care of myself and relax before I can keep going, especially since the semester ends in a month and not a week.

Me seriously needing a facial and massage to take off some stress:

Completed

✅ School

✅ See clients

✅ Part-time job

✅ Nap

✅ Dinner

✅ Play A Little to the Left

✅ Check and reply to school emails

✅ Go to bed before 12am (finally!!)

Hope you are giving yourself permission to rest as well 🩵

04/04/2025

Had a full-day of workshop and I still have a few more to go... The day hasn't been that bad. Not until I realized how much I got charged for a recent imaging I had to do for my accident 🙃 They say US health insurance sucks, and I cannot agree more. I'm trying to stay positive and keep faith in the Universe, but it's hard when things like this happen. I don't know what more I can do. I don't know how I'm supposed to let go and surrender.

Completed

✅ Workshop ✅ Hangout with my friend ✅ Dinner ✅ Thesis work (30 minutes) ✅ Phone call with partner

To-Do

⏹️ Shower before bed

Some laughs for today 😂

Types of study break (tag yourself!):

The Productive One: refilling a drink, crossing a task off your to do list, the comfort of knowing that you're exactly on track.

The I-can't-fucking-take-this-any-longer: flinging yourself dramatically onto the couch or bed because this subject is turning your brain into mulch. snacking on something unhealthy but so delicious. texting friends who are suffering alongside you just to cry or scream together.

The "Just five more minutes" : Scrolling through tumblr or instagram. trying to pull your thoughts together on a bad day. convincing yourself that viewing motivational posts online is almost the same as actually doing that homework, really!

The Leg Cramp: No idea how long you've been sitting motionless but you gotta MOVE. Dancing badly and singing along to your favourite song. The joy of realising you've accomplished more than you hoped.