It 5 Am. I Couldn't Sleep. I Was Awake All Night. My Chest Hurt, I Felt My Heart Stopping And My Chest

Last request, and pls dont feel obligated to do all of these i just like spamming ya: Medic listening to scout ramble while medic is performing surgery on him?

[It's alr! I love writing stories for you! I'm always interested in your ideas and requests so ask away!💀✨️]

Not so fast surgery

◇ TF2 Medic and Scout [platonic]

◇ mentions of gore and blood

Scout walked down the hall, heading straight for the Medic's lab. Today was the day that every mercenary passed their check ups. Sure enough, Scout sat down on the table when Medic entered.

"Ah! Zhere you are! You seem to be ready"

"Ya bet doc! I assure you, this will be quick"

"Yes yes, you said it last time"

"Hey! It wasn't my fault! I didn't know that i had metal pipe as my hip instead of a bone!"

"Ja ja. I'm sureeee you didn't. Just sit still for me please"

When Medic started examining him, Scout obviously didn't listen. He kicked his legs, moved left and right, turned around and was easily distracted by everything. Later, Scout lay flat on the table and talked as Medic gently pressed on his chest.

" ...-and this i when I told himm, 'nu-uh I won't do that' and he's like 'whaaaa' and I- ow!!"

Medic, noticing Scout's reaction, pressed the same spot again.

"Hey! Watch it doc! It hurts!"

"It does?" Medic asked. "Well this isn't suppose to hurt"

Medic put his medigun over Scout.

"You know the drill. It won't hurt that much"

"Ah come on doc- I'm fine, really!" Scout stood up. "See I'm fine-"

At that moment, the Medic pushed him in that place and placed him on the operating table again.

"OW! Owww!"

"Scout don't play games with me. Stay down, or I will knock you out."

"Fineeeeee. Do your worst Doc."

Medic took a bone saw and stabbed Scout in the chest, cutting him open. Scout screamed in pain, but quickly stopped and lay down while Medgun healed him. They stayed quiet for a while before Scout broke the silence.

"So. You wanna hear a funny story of how i died and all?" Scout asked.

"Yea sure. I'd like to know what did you saw on the other side" Medic replied.

"Yeaaa. That wasn't creepy at alllll. Anyway, so you remember when we were attacked by the robots? One of them got lucky shoot in my side and I was dying. Like ughhhh i felt weak and all. This is when naked Sniper and Spy walked in. Spy was speechless for a moment, he probably couldn't believe I took out so many robots by myself and I bet he was 100% jealous. Anyway, I remember he was saying something but eh, i forgot what it was. And then! This is when something unexpected happened. Tom Jones himself showed up and he confirmed he is MY FATHER! Can you believe that?!"

"No, not really" Medic replied.

"But it's true! And he said he's proud of me and all! Amazing, so cool. After this everything went dark and I woke up in bright cloudy heaven! Soo cool!"

"At least you're going up" Medic mumbled.

"What?"

"Uh, nothing. You were saying that it was cloudy?"

"Oh yea! Full of clouds! I meet the big guy up there and he said I was a gift to the women! Ha! I knew it! So anyway I think they were doing some popcorn because I heard a crunch or something, later I don't remember, but I heard him saying a date or something- I don't know. But anyway, this is when I woke up and Spy was sooo pissed while Sniper smiled. But the best part is what I'm about to tell you, because.... it's... heartbreaking to me"

Scout took a deep breath, and Medic rased his eyebrow.

"Oh reallyyy? Vell go on zhen"

"So after we came back an all, I went to Tuefort where there was a free trip to Tom Jones house! When I saw this I was like 'F#CK YEA I'M COMIN'!'. It took a while but I finally got there, and this is when I found out that Tom Jones...was....dead..."

"Oh. That must have been quite a- shock"

"A big one, because I realized that since he was dead...and while I was dying....and there was only Sniper and Spy ...that means..."

"You finally found out? Vell that's good! I found out after I took the blood sample and tested it, this is when I found out that your father is-"

"Tome Jones showed up to me not in person, but as a ghost!" Scout replied with big smile on his face"

"I- was?-"

"It makes sense now! Since Spy and Sniper were together that means when Tom was dead, he came to me to confront me before he disappeared!"

"Oh yes yes, your father disappears a LOT" Medic joked while Scout was still rambling about it.

Soon Medic caught something that was causing Scout so much pain, he took it out and it was-

"Coo"

"Archimedes?" Medic said while holding his dove, covered in blood.

"What the- I had a bird in my chest?! Again?!"

"It looks like it. Archimedes. What did I told you. You can't do that."

"Coo coo" Archimedes replied.

"Do not sure such faul language on me! That's it, you're going to stay in your cage till the end of the procedure"

Medic put Archimedes in cage which was made out of metal and was shaped like a real rib cage.

"Brids" he shruged his shoulders and help Socut with his wound.

"It will take some time to, you can continue making noise. I won't mind anyway. While you talk, it makes me believe that you are alive "

Scout happly shook his head.

"Alright, I don't want to tell ya another longggg boring sotry so let's make this more fun! Alright so patient said to Doctor: I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.

And Doctor replied: Next time, take off the candles."

Scout giggled at his joke. Medic smirked and continued to heal his patient.

"Or this or this! Why did the doctor laugh at the X-ray? Because it was humerus." Scout laughed even harder, meanwhile Medic chuckled on his joke.

"I also have a joke. You go to a doctor for a complete checkup. You haven't been feeling well and you want to find out if you are ill. After the checkup, the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.

'I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much time' the doctor says."

"Oh. Uhhh- How long have I got" Scout asks.

“10…” Medic started.

"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.

“10..…9..…...8.....…7…....6...."

Scout widen his eyes as he stood up.

Medic started to laugh as hard as it was possible after seeing Scout's frightened face.

"Woo hohoho! You should have seen your face!"

"'Haha. Funny.... Whatever"

"Oh don't be like that. At least your chest is healed. Next time watch out for Archimedes, he is still stubborn to get inside your chest, again. No matter how."

"Uhhh, alright. Thanks doc!"

Scout walked out of the office, while Medic was cleaning his hands off of blood. It went surprisingly good, Medic had fun with Scout and he promised to himself that next time he'll tell him more doctor/patient jokes.

[Hope ya enjoyed it! Thank you for amazing ideas mein freund! Have a nice day/night!]

Hello there, this totally isn't the mod of heavyweponguy. But if it's not too much trouble, could you do a heavymedic?

Also, I love your writing

[Thank you for this request stranger that can be @heavyweponguy Hope you enjoy this story!💀✨️]]

Red duo

◇ TF2 Heavy [x]and Medic [Come on. You know what]

◇ some blood and slight gore description

◇ includs Archimedes❗️

"And zhis is how I lost my medical licence!" Medic laughed after ending his repetitive story he was always proud to say.

Heavy laughed as always. Even if he heard Medic's story of how he stole a patients skeleton. He heard it many times, and yet every time, it was entertaining and fun to listen to. Today, Heavy was helping Medic in his workshop, bringing boxes with new animal organs, like zebras lungs or horses hearts. Finally, he picked up a long package, ready to put it into the freezer, but Medic stopped him.

"Ah! Not zhis one. Can you put it on my operation table?"

Without a word, Heavy put a light, wierd, shaped bag on the table, noticing excitement on the doctor's face. When he was opening a package, he looked like a small boy opening his present from Santa on Christmas. But when Medoc revealed what was inside, Heavy's face was in a state of small shock. Inside the bad was the whole body, but it was missing a head.

"Doctor, what is this?" Heavy asked.

"Vell, do you remember zhat team ve vere fightin' with? Vhat was zheir name? Classic, I think. I don't remember really" Medic answered while looking back at his reflection in bonesaw.

"I see. And who body is this?"

"It's Greg's! I couldn't just leave it like zhat! I put my most valuable organs in him after all. It would be a shame to let them go to vaste. Besides, I vas lucky. His body vas parciatly burned to crips!"

Heavy didn't answer to that. Meanwhile, Medic stabbed his bonesaw in TFC Scout's chest, ready to find his missing parts.

"So why is Heavy here?" Heavy asked. On those words, Medic turned around to him as if he had just asked the obvious question.

"To entertain me, of course. I got used to operating on patients who are vel, awake, and vorking in complete silence is boring for me. I vanted to ask Engineer to assist me but he said he didn't have time so that's why I asked you. Here, hold this"

Medic gave Heavy his bonesaw.

"So....what exactly doctor wants to 'regain' back from him?"

"I thought you'll never ask!" Medic's face brightened visibly when he heard the question, as if he was waiting for it to be asked.

"Beside my three baboon uteruses, one kidney, twelve centimetres of cow's intestine. I also put small brain in his left leg. Unfortunately, it was burned, so I can't really bring it back to life again"

"And why is he missing his head? Was there no brain inside too? I wouldn't be surprised"

Medic giggled at Heavy's joke before continuing his work.

"Oh no. His brain simply melted like butter while Pyro was burning him. I tried to make something out of it, but unfortunately, nothing vorked. What a shame- Archimedes no! Give it back!" Medic scouted at his dove, who took peace of liver and flew on lamp, holding it in its beak. Heavy manage to get it back, reaching Archimedes and snatching organ back with his strength.

"Danke! Birds, am I right?" chukle escaped his lips before continuing the operation.

Some time passed, five hours to be precise. Medic was determined to get every last organ he saw in his victims chest, as Heavy was by his side, helping slightly from time to time. Finally, Medic sat down on chair exhausted. Seeing this, Heavy sat down next to him.

"Doctor needs to lay down in his bed"

Medic ignored these words, laying his head over Heavy's shoulder, smirking.

"Nein. I want to stay like zhis" he said, slowly closing his eyes.

"Doctor..."

But it was too late. Medic fell asleep (or probably just acted like he was) in seconds. He was in his comfortable position, laying his head over Heavy's shoulder, refusing to move even an inch. Heavy sighed before closing his eyes, too, knowing that waking his doctor was pointless, so he decided to rest too.

Both of them stayed like that for a while, but later, Heavy woke up again. He looked at the clock, realising how late it is, yet he couldn't just let himself and Medic sleep on chairs. So, Heavy stood up and picked up Medic, and walked to their shared room.

Finally, he arrived at the big room, laying Medic on bed, and Heavy himself layed down next to him. Why? Medic is known to sleepwalk, so Heavy to prevent this sleeps with him, holding him down. Last time he wasn't, Scout screamed because he was standing above his bed with the übersaw and wide crazy smile. Heavy glanced at the doctor's face before closing his eyes, this time falling asleep quickly. Both of them hold each other close, enjoying this comfortable time together...

[The end! Hope you like it! Tell me in comments what do you think!💀🌌]

Not to be dramatic but I would die for this mf

Great writing! I love how you expand his personality, it's really amazing!

General headcanons for Blu!Scout x reader

Hello everyone!! I hope you had a happy new year!! I want to start a new series where I make headcanons for characters I haven’t written for yet to show you my interpretations of them. This is the first, please enjoy!

-I like to believe that unlike the Red Scout, he is much more experienced or gifted at killing. In the “Meet the Spy” video, which I know is Spy disguised as Scout, but Heavy bought it and he’s canonically a smart cookie, he says he has killed plenty of spies as if it was just like driving a car. And he is very cocky about it. When he has to clear a room, he doesn’t speak. His mind is focused for once; gauging the situation. You get whiplash from how quickly he can go from hyper focused to the annoying prick you know and love.

-He has saved your hide plenty of times. You’ve saved his too. Had a couple of enemy knives to your throat only for their heads to get blown off by Scout with his Babyface. 

“You alright, gorgeous?”  He would ask.

“Yeah,” he extended his hand down to you, “Thanks.” 

“On your feet, babe! Let’s go!” 

-He looks physically different from Scout in subtle ways. Their uniform is the same and they both wear dog tags, but Blu Scout has dirty blonde hair and green eyes. Blu started the hand wraps thing, which the Red Scout would copy because he thought it looked cool, because he would get his knuckles scraped as he has a habit of breaking his fall with his fist when sped across the field. The same long face as the Red Scout, just with bushier eyebrows. He also has freckles (I totally stole that from Lil Pootis). He also has a resting passive aggressive face, he looks unamused.

-He is diagnosed with OCD and experiences intrusive thoughts. It’s funny because he is good at staying calm in situations, but will think about them later on. But he likes to keep his worries to himself. He worries that something really bad will happen to you or himself one day; such as the respawn machine stops working and he won’t see you or Ma ever again. You have had to help him through a panic attack a few times, but he hates when you find him like that. He tries to get you out the door and lock himself in. He smokes to help his anxiety, but obviously, it makes his heart beat faster, making him worse and only helps temporarily. He will try and hide it from you, but you can taste it on his breath when you kiss. 

-He does not leave you without a kiss on the cheek or the lips. He’s more than fine with PDA too and he always holds your hand or if someone else needs you to get out of the way and he notices, he gently moves you by the waist. He gets cocky about it to the other mercenaries. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know you guys are jealous. I got the finest thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on and they chose me! Suck it!” 

Literally no one is paying attention.

-He takes note of everyone he has to work with. Though he can read and spell better than Red, he’s not great at writing, can’t get all of his ideas organized, so he draws what he notices about the others. For example, Spy keeps a picture of a young boy in his disguise kit and so, Scout drew Spy looking at the picture in the open kit in his left hand while the right dragged a smoke. They are amazing sketches that he never finishes. He only colors in hair or darker materials. He has so many sketches of you that he keeps in his desk drawer. If you compiled the amount of drawings he had of you, it would qualify as an anatomy and clothing study. 

-Wakes up super early. Can never sleep either due to his anxiety or his add. He will wake you up early whenever he does. Not usually when he is having an anxiety spell, he doesn’t like dragging you into that despite accidentally waking you up multiple times. He has a smoke, then makes you coffee, however you like, he will remember, wakes you up and makes sure you don’t fall back asleep. He will just keep pestering you until you stubbornly stay awake. He’s annoying and he knows it. If you don’t feel like talking, which is understandable since you’re up at 3:30, he will chat about the team or his life back in Boston.

-He has a thing for sweet treats. He always likes to take you out to the bakery just outside of the base and get you two a milkshake and some cake slices. The first time you two went, it was about 2 months into your relationship. You have not gone out of the Builder’s League since you got there, so Scout took you! It was a small little dinner that was rimmed with cherry red and a neon blue “OPEN” sign. He held the door for you.

“M’baby.” 

You seated yourself and grabbed the menus from the end of the table. You looked at all of the options, mostly the pastries. 

“I’m gonna get a malt. Ya want one, dollface?” 

“Sure, thank you!” You smiled.

The counter was a light pink, lined with a checkered, black-and-white belt wrapped around it. When he came back, he had a slice of pie, your pastry and one milkshake.

“I thought you got me one too?” You asked, puzzled.

“Yeah,” he handed you a bendable straw, “here ya go!” 

He put his red striped straw in the whipped cream and took a sip. 

“We’re sharing?” You laughed, flabbergasted.

“Isn’t that what couples do?” 

You chuckled. “You dork.”

ASS PANCAKES MY BELOVED 💙

Hi! Can I I request an x reader with ass pancakes that takes place during the 7 year time skip like in the comic after moving on from being a mercenary? : )

Hello!! This is my first request so I’m very excited!! I made this Romantic/Platonic since I wasn’t entirely sure, hope you like it!!

ASS PANCAKES X READER AFTER 7 YEARS

In my head, the story of Freak Fortress goes differently than the canon comics. They were an outlier team, a team of weirdos with unrelenting abilities, while there was the Team Fortress 2 classic team we all know, they rarely faced off with Freak Fortress. You were apart of this team, one of the few who was close to normal. They would all have retire at some point, but I feel like they would still go about their merry way and continue wrecking havoc. 

-Ass Pancakes had a fondness for you he never showed. Maybe it was because he felt bad that you did not have unfair powers given by whatever force of nature gave the entire Freak Fortress theirs. He always BONKED! the enemy team member that shot you. Going absolutely overkill and then looking blankly at you. Once you have a nervous smile, he grinned ear to ear before saying “See ya!” and jumping away. 

-(Romantic/Platonic) Speaking of, he would always übercharge himself with Bonk! to protect you from speeding bullets. This gave you the chance to run to cover and reload your gun. You would hide in the corner of a two-story with supply caches. Ready to run and your safety off, he would push you back down. Once you saw who it was, you lowered your gun. He look at you with that same, crazy eyed smile and said, “I Bonked! them all.”  So much for reloading.

-You two ended up living in a small, dingy apartment on the outskirts of Teufort. A sketchy area, which made sense, considering Ass Pancakes was now your roommate after being your co-worker/good friend (mainly so no one else bothered you). 

-I honestly do not see him changing much, aside from being a little more calm. Down the line, he started to do “side jobs” with the other former mercenaries that are exactly what you think they are. He would leave and come back like he had a regular job, but you knew what he was doing. And you did not want to see it.

-Any canned drink you have, he will take the opportunity to scare you. Imagine you’re reading a book and you move your hand to grab the can of pop you opened and suddenly feeling dry skin. You would jump, of course, and he would jump out of the can in front of you. It’s something he has been doing since he met you.

-(Romantic) He would always shake you by your shoulders before kissing you. It’s his thing! Speaking of kissing, he will always appear right in front of you upside down and face to face, and ask for a kiss, pointing at his lips, and once you gave it to him, he disappeared. You don’t even know how he was upside down, the ceiling was too high. 

-Your apartment is mostly your space. I feel like Ass Pancakes only owns the Warhammer of Zillyhoo and the many cans of Bonk! that fill your fridge. He lets you decorate however you want. However, he will come up to them, look for a moment and then ask, “You did this?” And then after you say yes, he grabs your shoulders, does his wide grin and yells “I love it!”. Do be warned about the carpet, he will leave bloodstains. 

-His hair, like canon Scout’s, has gotten longer and I like to think his leg muscles are very tense from all of the running around and jumping he’s done. 

-He watches you sleep since he doesn’t sleep. You two end up spending the night on the couch rather than your own bed (He doesn’t have one). You either wake up to wide eyes staring at you or him eating your food. 

-(Romantic/Platonic) If you cuddle on his chest, his regular heart rate is above average due to how much Bonk he drinks. He also pats your head rather than rub your head or run his hands through your hair. He’s gotten a lot calmer, but he does not understand social cues. 

Mr. Mundyyyy 🫶

other mercs (so far) under the cut

Spy

You said you'd be up for writing some spydad? That's awesome!! I would love to read something fluffy but I want to give you total creative freedom. I understand if you aren't up for it/won't get around to it for an bit, either way tysm for the offer!

Mission, father

◇ Spydad action story [Spy and Scout]

artwork by me

Today was an unusual day. Why? Because Miss Pauling send Scout and Spy, together, on a mission. She was saying that:

"I need it to be done fast and quietly" said Pauling, while talking to Spy who was using only available phone in the area.

"Miss Pauling, are you sure I can't continue this mission alone?" Spy asked with hope that he can convince her to let him finish the job alone.

"I really wish you could do this alone too, but in this mission two people are needed, and your and Scout's skills are they most compatible for this-"

"Ayo Miss Pauling, you called?" Scout hearing his named through phone, immediately snatched it from Spy's hand.

"No Scout. I was just-... mentioning you..."

"Oh...right. So um, can ya remind me- i mean- US what exactly our mission is?"

Miss Pauling sighed, as she opened one of the many files on her desk.

"As I was saying back in the base Scout, you and Spy have to get inside this building, to take down taget that is causing problems for the Administrator and take golden statue of platypus. We have suspicious that it might be made out of australium, so remember, don't mess this up and come back alive. Pauling out..... heh I always wanted to say that"

"Wait Miss Pa- anddd she hang up. Alright, so let's get this over with" Scout was ready to run straight into the emery's building, but Spy grabed him by his t-shirt to stop him.

"Not so fast Scout. We can't just rush in there like that, we need a plan"

"Tsk. Whatever fancy pants. So, what is your plan?"

. . .

"Ugh, remind me to never listen to your stupid plans ever again" Scout complained while both of them were walking through the sewers, trying to get inside the building as unnoticed and fast as possible.

"Don't be so delicate now. We have sewers at base too."

"Yea we do! But our sewers are cleaner than those. Smell better too, bleh"

Scout hold hand over his nose while continuing to complain. Soon they reached small room, with stairs that leaded upstairs and corridor to the left.

"Alright, we are now in the death zone, take your meele weapon out and be ready, remember, we use guns only when necessary. We don't want to draw attention to ourselves- what are you doing?"

While Spy was giving speech Scout in the meantime started to walk not upstairs but down the corridor.

"Well, I'm going to get that australium statue, aren't I?"

"But you do not know were it is. And I don't think it's there Scout."

"Why? Because you think I can't find it cuz I'm stupid or something?"

"Do you want sarcastic or realistic answer?"

"Whatever fancy pants I'm going there, and I bet I will find that ple...ply...pla-tu-parus myself!" Scout run down the corridor, disappearing behidn the corner. Spy stared at it for some time, before using his watch to disappear. The mission has officially started.

. . .

Spy took his knife out, moving through corridor and mumbling to himself.

"He never listens, always too stubborn. He takes after his mother... I won't even be surprised if he's going to come back screaming and runing away from some kind of the danger he caused. As always."

Spy walked for some time before he noticed doors at the end of the corridor, with yellow light coming from under it. He slowly walked up to them but when he reached for a handle, doors suddenly opened. He jumped and quickly hid himself behind rock statue of a woman dancing with platypus-headed man.

"I WANT THIS TO BE GONE" bald tall man shouted at the phone.

"What? I do not CARE! That old hag broke contract with me, she found out I know about use of the australium. Yes. She wants me killed. But i won't let her send people after me. No. I won't die like this, I won't give her this satisfaction. I want you to activate protocol B-ye. Yes I know this place will bow up THAT'S THE POINT! Who is the boss here. Yea...so shut up and START IT NOW !" man angry craked his phone with his hand, and walked away.

Spy came out of his hideout and walked through, now opened doors, into the security room, full of tv screens. He noticed count down on one of them: 'Protocol B-ye will activate in 25 minutes'.

When Spy turned his head he noticed Scout, fighting with the guards. He quickly run out of the room to find him. They needed to run.

. . .

"BONK b!tch!" Socut hit last of the guards with his bat. He laughed and continued to check the rooms.

"I don't even know why Miss Pauling wanted two people to go together. It's so easy, like fighting with easter bunny"

Scout noticed giant metal doors, next to it was panel with numbers.

"Huh. I wonder" Scout preseed four of the buttons.

"Invalid password. Please write correct password to enter"

"Ah! Alright. Sooo 1234?"

"Invalid password. Please write correct password to enter"

"Hm how about 6969?"

"Invalid password. Please write correct password to enter"

"Uhhh 95...7...3?"

"Invalid password. Please-"

"UGH! STUPID SECURITY SYSTEM! WHY ARE YOU SO HARD TO BREAK?! I bet Solider would be stupid enough and say "we in America just press 1111" "

"Beep! Password accepted."

Giant metal started to open, leaving Scout with jaw dropped as he slapped his face.

"Of course. At least hard part is over"

This is when he noticed that in the middle of the room was golden statue, sitting next to it were 4 real platapuses, on top of that they were surrounded by red lasers that touched probably would trigger alarm, spikes on the walls, and small squiky toy on the ground. Scout rolled his eyes as started to crawl under the lasers, soon he had to stand up and get closer to the wall, almost impailng himself by spikes, then he triped but luckily for him there was no more lasers. He walked up to the statue, gently picking it up.

"Heh. Easy" This is when he accidently put his foot on the squiky toy. He turned his head ready to be attacked by the 4 animals that were still sleeping.

"Phew."

But this is when alarm turned on.

"Oh come on! Really?!"

'ATTENTION! PROTOCOL B-YE IS ACTIVE. YOU HAVE 15 MINUTES TO EVACUATE'

"Protocol B-ye?"

Suddenly Spy stoped in front of the doors looking at Scout.

"Scout get in here! We have to go, now!"

"Hey! But for the record i didn't start this alarm-!"

"Just get in here!"

Scout started to slowly crawl under the lasers. Spy panicked and shouted at him.

"STAND UP AND RUN YOU IDIOT! THOSE ARE JUST LASER POINTSERS!"

Scout tood up, noticing that lasers- do nothing to him. He looked at one of them, seeing those are in fact small laserpointers just taped to the walls.

"Ah crap."

"JUST GO!"

Both of them started to run as alarms rang wildly. Scout was faster than Spy so he was a bit left behind. This is when another communicate was made.

'ATTENTION! 6 MINUTES BEFORE THE EXPLOSION. EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY'

Time was runing out. Soon Scout finally got to the exit but this is when he felt pain his left leg after hearing a gunshoot.

"AHhhhh!" Scout triped, dopping the statue, that rolled down the stairs, near the exit. As he turned he noticed tall bald man standing with his weapon pointed at him.

"I was right." The man spoke "The old hag hired you to get me ...didn't she? Pathetic. I thought she send here an actual threat." Man picked Scout by his neck.

"Ugh- let...me go!" Scout shouted.

"No. Why should I. If i have to go down anyway, i may as well take down one of her mercenaries with me." Man laughed, as he started to squeeze his neck even harder.

This is when Spy runned out of the room. He saw stature near him, close to the exit, but upstairs on his left he noticed big bald man holding Scout by his neck, walking further into the building. Spy was someone who's all missions were successfull. He never failed, he would sacrifice anything to achieve victory. Anything......but, anyone?

Scout punched the man into the face, blood run out of his nose, but he didn't let him go.

"Ha. Look at you. It's actually really funny to see you like that."

Scout couldn't even talked back, as he started to feel dizzy from lack of the air in his lungs.

"Ha! You are so peth- AHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

This is when man screamed and let Scout go, while collapsing on the ground. Scout looked at dead body of the bald man noticing butterfly knife in his back. This is when he felt that someone picked him up. It was Spy who started to run with him, jumping out though the window.

'PROTOCOL B-YE ACTIVED'

This is when explosion happend. It wasn't enormous one but, it was big enough to destroy the center of the budling. Spy looked back to see it seeting on fire. He looked down noticing Socut on the grass, not moving at all...

"Scout?... Socut!!" Spy run up to him, checking his pulse. He was alive but unconscious.

"You idiot! You almost got yourself killed!" Spy shouted. Scout's eye were still closed. This is when he realised he was screaming at unconscious Scout...but why?

Spy couldn't help but noticed his own hands started to shake as tear showed up in his eye.

"You almost died you idiot..." this is when something triggered Spy, he didn't knew if it was shock from the explosion or "parental" instinct but he hugged Scout. He hold him close, holding him after years for the first time. His mind went back in time. This is when he saw himself holding Scout as small child...he remembered how he was holding his small hand...and now?

He hugged him, not knowing why, he just wanted him to be okey, to wake up, to be alright...he wanted his son to wake up. This is when Scout slowly opened his eyes, he felt that someone was holding him. When his vision cleared he noticed businessman suit.

"Uhhh. Spy? What are you doing?"

On these words Spy backed up quickly.

"I- I was just chekcing your pulse.."

"Were you hugging me? Wait- Are you crying?"

"It's because of the smoke." Spy quickly cleaned his eye from tears.

"You choose me over the statue... why?"

Both of them looked at each other before Spy smirked.

"I didn't do it because I cared. I did it because that statue wasn't made out of australium. It wasn't even made out of the real gold!"

"Oh yea? And how could you know?"

"Under it was sticker which says: Custom made platypus statue from Toys For Rich Pets factory. Didn't you see?"

Socut scoffed, lifiting himself up.

"Yea yea whatever you say old man-" he almost triped but Spy caught him.

"Here. We need to get out of here fast. I don't want you to waste my time by passing out again." Spy supported Scout while both of them walked to the car.

"But you careeeee" Scout smiled. This is when Spy messed his hair.

"Shut up will you? You might pass out..."

"Heh. You do care" Scout said with big smile on his face.

Spy meanwhile mumbled quietly

"...maybe I do."

. . .

When they got back to the base Scout visited Medic, to heal his injuries. After he came back he was good as new (and probably had another organ replaced).

He walked up to Spy, and took his hat off.

"Hey uh. Thanks back there. You know...for savining me and all"

"Don't mention this... it's nothing."

Scout rolled his eyes and walked up to Spy hugging him. Spy didn't push Scout away, as usually, but he actually put hand on Scout's shoulder, letting them hug for a while. This is when he came back to reality and pushed him away.

"Okey. You need to rest now. This mission wasn't easy and the next ones are going to be much harder. So go."

Scout smired while walking away. Spy meanwhile smiled a bit, as this warm feeling came to his heart. For the first time he acted like a parent...like a father.

Maybe this mission...wasn't so bad after all.

[Yooo! I'm glad you requested it! I'm so happy you saw my post and you texted to me! Thank you! .Hope you like it! It may not the best...but if you want I can try write more bonding father/son things in the future!💀💙]

Ok, I'm about to take you up on that offer again: sniper x masculine, slightly stoic reader, once again a crushing on each other scenario.

Hes showing the reader the ropes with sniping, which he doesnt usually do but maybe this is some kind of thing where the reader is a new merc, who's generally trained in martial arts and knows how to use different weapons, but trying to figure out what combat style they like best.

The reader is pretty well aware about how the mercs are, so things like sniper's jarate jars aren't something the reader questions.

I hope you dont mind,this one's a lot more specific ^^

[Yoooo!!! Nah it's great! Get ready for story m8!]

Rookie and a professional

◇ TF2 Sniper x Masculine reader [crush,romantic]

You walked through long halway into small office, where Miss Pauling was sitting on a chair. You sat in front of her desk, as she was reading her paper's. It seem like she didn't notice you at all.

"Miss Paul-"

"Ah! Oh. It's just you. I was too focused on reading papers that- nevermind. So, it seems you walked around our base, you get to know your surroundings a bit, now we should talk about your role on the battlefield"

She opened small box with files, as she went through them you felt calm and confident because you knew you had what it takes to do this job, but you didn't know what role you'll take.

"There we go. Hm. Interesting. It seems you have a lot of experience with different weapons. From explosives to rockes and so on"

"Yes. Let's say I'm no stranger to guns" you answered.

"Great! So, I will assign you to your role based on what you want to do. So? Any preferences?"

"Well..." you started "I'm not exactly sure. I'm still trying to figure it out."

"Huh. Well that complicates things..."

Both of you stayed quiet for couple of seconds before Miss Pauling spoke again.

"Ah! I have an idea. Perhaps you can try out different styles of combat, and our mercs can help you with it. You will see prons and cons of different classes and then we can decide what role will you take! That sounds like a good idea, right?"

"I guess it's alright"

"Great!" she wrote something on peace of paper before handing it to you.

"This is a list of classes you will check out today. You will meet Heavy, Solider and Sniper. If they won't convince you, then we can try tomorrow with the rest"

You took note she gave you and shook your head.

"Alright. I will inform you about the results"

"Okey then. Be sure to- ah crap" that was the last words she said to you before she pick up the phone that was ringing constantly and she was too busy now to even say goodbye to you. You walked out and check the list you received from her. First was Heavy.

"So you're Heavy right?"

"Да (Yes)" answer you big man with heavy Russian accent.

"I'd like to know more about your class." You asked.

"Heavy can tell you about the most important things in Heavy's asset. Is his gun that Heavy shoots with." as he was spoke, he put his gun on the table, that almost broke under it's pressure.

"Okey that's a nice gun... but I'd like to know-"

"Tiny man does not want to know about Heavy's gun?" he asked.

"I just want to know what do you do on the battlefield"

"Heavy shots with his gun. Gun is effective. This is all you need to know" he answered.

"I know, but I-"

"Heavy.shots.his.gun. And that is all you need to know."

You were not convinced by Heavy but you continued to speak with him. He mostly wanted to talk about his gun and constantly avoided questions about his strategys he had on the field. You also made himnextra mad when you asked if you can touch his gun.

Next was Solider.

"You see this son!?" he asked you in his loud comanding voice.

"Yes. It's a American flag-"

"That's rrrrrrighttt!! And you will fight on this battlefield for it! And believe me when I say it won't be as easy as drop kicking a toddler!"

"Mhm. Yes, so speaking of battlefield, how do you get behind your enemies" on those words he jumped and for a second you saw his angry eyes from under his helmet.

"Behind? BEHIND?! I'M NO COWARD! I run straight into the battle! I crush my enemies and attack them right away!"

"But you give away your position. You should sometimes stay and wait before you-" yet you couldn't finish your sentence before Solider climb on the table and pointed his finger at you.

"ONLY COWARDS AND COMUNISTS HIDE IN THE SHADOWS BEFORE THEY STRIKE! WE SCREAM OUR GLORY OUT OF THOSE LUNGS AS LONG AS WE HAVE THE ABILITY TO BBBRRRREATH!! So better listen up maggot, because now I will teach you how to fight with nothing but a shovel and piece of raw chicken!"

"Right..." Solider was...not it. He knew how to use many types of weapons sure, but you left after he suggested that he'll show you how to fist-fight with your opponents while completely naked and covered in honey. After another rather disappointing journey you were left with the last option for today.

You walked to the high wooden tower. You felt the smell of cigarette and piss. When you reached the top you noticed a man with hat over his face. You walked up to him, thinking he must be asleep, and as you tried to reach his shoulder to woke him up, he caught your hand and looked at you from behind big orange glasses.

"What aye you doin' rookie?" he asked while shoving your hand away.

"I thought you were asleep that's all. I need training from you."

"Training? For what?"

"I want to find out what place should I take in the team and Miss Pauling wanted me to try out your- combat style"

"Try out? Snipin' isn't somethin' ya try out. You have to put everythin' in it, you need to focus and remember that each shoot matters. And no offense but you look like someone who is workin' in the offense than defence, so ask someone else" he stood up from his chair and looked at you.

"And oi don't give lessons. I'm no teacher" you wanted to talk away but you can't give up so easly.

"Okey. You aren't a teacher, but you are a professional right? I'm a professional myself, so I know how important taking order is, especially from your boss. I'm fine with you not teching me but I bet that Miss Pauling will remember it. Unless of course you want to tell her yourself that you couldn't stood up to the challenge" you looked at him as he sighed and picked up his rifle.

"First things you should know is how to hold your weapon" he started. You smirked, as you started to take notes.

"Put that down and come here."

"Why?"

"Ya won't learn anythin' by standin' still and writin' with a pen. Here." He gave you his weapon and put chair in front of the balcony. You sat down and hold it tight. He pointed at training ground where you noticed moving in left and right target practice dummy.

"You see this? I want you to shoot it."

Without question you did as he asked, you pulled the trigger, shot and- you missed.

"Shit...No matter. I'll try again." you mumbled to yourself while you relodead his weapon. You shot at least three times before you hit something, unfortunately it was just an empty tin.

"Blood hell, you're awful." he said while walking up to you.

"That's why I came to you. Maybe you can tell me what I'm doing wrong then?" you asked while aiming at dumny again.

You heard deep sigh and soon you left his hands over your shoulders and your back. He started fixing your posture, soon he lowered down to your ear and whisper:

"Realx...You're always shakin' your hand before you shoot." your cheeks blushed as you started to aim again. He slowly lowered your elbow down, and wishpered once again.

"You have tense strong mussels, but ya need to know when to use that strength to pull the trigger. Follow the target..." he slowly moved your hand as he stood right behind you.

"Now."

You pulled the trigger and you manage to shot your target right in the head.

"See? All you had to do is to relax"

You looked in his direction while reloading.

"Thanks... See? You aren't a bad teacher after all"

He pulled his hat down to cover his face on these words, he probably didn't expect such complement from you. Then he looked at the ground taking his glasses off.

"Somethings wrong?" You asked. Soon he handed you a jar with...yellow liquid inside it.

"What is-"

"Don't ask."

You had your suspicions of what that was based on it's smell, but you only shruged your shoulders.

You stared at empty land before he finally lowered himself down, you did the same.

"Say rookie, how good at are you at throwing?" he asked with small smirk on his face.

"Good enough"

"On three throw it on the left from the first red box. One....two....three."

You both stood up and throw jarate. You heard sound of shattering glass, and figure runing away, followed by a loud scream.

"aaaAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

"Spy, that ya fancy bloody wuss! Hahaha!"

You couldn't help but smirk, while looking at Snipers smile. This is when he looked back at you, a bit embarrassed.

"...What?"

"Nothing. I just tought that, maybe, maybe, if you give me couple of lessons like that...I might tell Miss Pauling, that I've finally decided what I want to do"

He put his glasses back on and pat your shoulder, whole standing besides you.

"Tomorrow, at the same time. Don't be late"

He looked at you for the last time before he walked away through the wooden door.

You couldn't help but smile, you felt so comfortable around him. It was a nice feeling, knowing that you two understand each other and will surely make good partners. At work of course!

Unless....

[@zeldot :Hope you enjoyed this part! I'm so glad you gave me another commission! ]

Hey!! What’s up? B]

Is it alright if I request a story about Medic having a little niece reader who comes to visit him at the base, and she’s basically exactly like him? She’s just a little evil genius in an unassuming, adorable form who tries to copy everything he does and be like him <3

Thanks! Sorry if this is oddly specific, I just really love family fluff (probably pretty obvious at this point)! Take as long as you need if this is something you’re cool with doing! :)

[💀 same. Family vibes with comfort characters are always fun!]

Little Taube

◇ TF2 Medic and ChildFem!reader [platonic, family dynamic]

Ah, RED Base. A place like no other where one of the most dangerous mercenaries lives under one roof. All nine of them were sitting in the living room, doing their stuff, laughing, and enjoying the rest of the free day. Pyro decided to draw something on the calendar (like she always does), but he stopped and tilted his head a bit. Without a word, they approached Medic who was having a nice conversation with Heavy.

"Ja! Last battle was great! Do you remember fear on their faces when we-"

"Mmmm!" Pyro pulled Medic's arm, pointing at calendar.

"Ah! Pyro, I'll see your drawings later" Medic turned his attention back to Heavy. Pyro a bit mad that she was ignored, took the calendar down from the wall and held it close to the Medic's face.

"Pyro! I said I'll- wait" Medic paused.

"Today is, the day! Today is the day!! How could I forget!"

He didn't even say thank you to Pyro. He just sprinted back to his laboratory. Others were a bit confused, they knew Medic was always strange and it wasn't something weird seeing him run back to his office when he suddenly got an idea for another experiment but it was different this time. He looked worried.

Medic opened door to his Laboratory looking around. Scout and Spy managed to catch up to him.

"Uhh Doc? Ya alright?" Scout asked.

"Do I look alright Scout? She's probably here and I'm not prepared!" He looked around smirking. "She is probably already hiding in the walls...-"

"She? Who is she?-"

Suddenly Scout found himself with a bag over his head, struggling to take it off. Spy stepped back and was splashed with cold water straight from the bucket. Then, the small figure jumped on Medic's back, who lost his balance and fell on the operating bed. He looked up, but even with a bright light shining on his face, he recognized who this mischievous person was.

"I got you onkel!! [uncle]" You said, jumping around with joy.

Seeing you Medic picked you up and started to tickle you. Both of you spin in a big hug laughing. You greet each other in German, leaving Spy and Scout (mostly Scout) confused. Soon Medic finally turned his attention to them, as he put you down.

"Doctor...who. is. that." Spy spoke first, sounding even more frustrated than usual.

"Right! I almost forgot about you two. This is my niece! She came today to visit me!"

"Hallo!" You said looking at Spy who only scoffed and walked out swearing and complaining. You heard him shouting in the distance "...I just washed my suit today!"

Scout finally took a bag off his head, laying his eyes on you. You looked like a mini version of Medic. He could tell you two are related based on your little smug and evil smile.

"So uh. How did she even get in here? " Scout asked.

"Thought ventilation system" you said, pointing at opened vent above you.

Medic, pat your head. "Aren't you a clever one! You listened to my advice: Always pick an unusual path!" Hearing compliments from him made you smile from ear to ear.

"Ah, that reminds me! I have something for you!" Medic ran to the door leading to the storage room

"Scout keep an eye on my little Taube, will you?" Scout didn't even get a chance to reply as Medic was gone behind a cold metal door. He looked down at you. Man, this is awkward.

At that moment, the rest of the team ran inside. Why? Well...

When Spy asked what happened, replied that he was attacked by a small demon, unfortunately, Soldier took it literally and ran through the corridors ready to fight the "demon" with his good old rusty shovel. Heavy and Engineer tried to stop him, Pyro ran after them, wondering if this was some kind of game, Sniper followed wanting to find out what is going on, Demo was drunk and dragged by Solider so he could -

"-EXPIRIENCE MY GREAT TRIUMPH WITH HIS OWN EYE!!" Solider screamed while charging at the door with shovel in his hand.

"Mhah ghaahahasammm mmmueaash" uh- Demo- replied? I bet he wasn't really sure what was going on.

Solider continued to shout, "SEE?! HE IS ALREADY SPEECHLESS! And I haven't even started that KICKING THAT THING UNHOLY A-"

They found themselves in Medic's laboratory. Scout jumped away screaming while you were standing completely still. Everyone looked at you with shock and confusion.

"It's even worse, IT'S A DEMOM BABY!'" Solider shouted, ready to swing his shovel at you, fortunately, Heavy stopped him.

Heavy shook his head "Solider will not hurt tiny child."

"YOU'LL THANK ME LATER! NOW LET ME GO BEFORE IT STEAL OUR SOULS!"

"Now now calm down ya'll. I'm sure there is an explanation" Engineer said, standing between you and rest of the mercenaries.

"I have one!" Scout yelled having everyone's attention "You guys never gonna believe it!"

Meanwhile, as Scout was explaining the situation (and skipping having his head stuck in the bag) you played with Medic's doves. You quickly made a bond with Archimedes, who sat next to you as you were feeding him with seeds and small eyeballs. Feeling thirsty, you pulled out some fruit juice from your little medicine bag. As you were drinking it Archimedes started to fly around you. You run after him trying to catch your feathery friend. In the room was a metal coffin, with spikes inside. Archimedes flew in it and sat down in the little nest he built there. You stepped inside and giggled, turning Demoman' attention on you.

Still drunk but aware of your presence walked up to Scout who was surrounded by others and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Ayy, is twad kid suppase to be twer?" He pointed at you, standing in a coffin-shaped contraption that started to creak. Everyone looked at you with horror.

"OI! Lady! What are you doin'?!" Sniper shouted.

You turned around, but at this moment doors to the coffin closed shut. They all gasped and held their breath as red liquid started to pour from under the door. When they thought things couldn't get any worse Medic came back.

"My little Taube! I have the perfect present for- ah! What is going on in here?" He asked with smile on his face.

They turned around, Solider spoke first.

"We have good and bad news. The good news is that the demon who was here is GONE! The bad news is that you lose your niece in the process"

"Was?"

Silence filled the room before knocking was heard.

You knocked twice and shouted "Hallo? Can someone open it, please? I'm starting to run out of oxygen to breathe"

Hearing your voice was a big surprise to everyone. Heavy did not waste more time and quickly used his strength to open heavy metal doors that shut down on you. Ready to see you pierced like cheese Scout covered his eyes. Others watched as big doors opened....

You stood there with a straw in your mouth looking at the juice carton, stuck in on the spike leaking the last drops of the red juice on floor.

"That spike wasted my juice" you said calmly. Everyone sighed relieved that you weren't hurt. Medic walked up to you, picked you and sit you down on chair.

"Mein Taube, please be careful next time. You were lucky this coffin is too big for you!"

You nodded and held your hands together "I'm sorry onkel. I just wanted to play"

"Ah, boredom. Always leads to danger. Well then, I have no other choice now than to give this to you!"

Medic reached into his suit and took out a small metal bone saw. Excited you took it thanking and hugging him. Engineer seeing you are safe glanced at the coffin again, he stared at your wasted juice, he smiled and walked up to you.

"Nice to see you're still an intact young lady" Engi said.

"You know I can get you new drink. What would you like? Orange juice, tea?-"

You walked up to him excited and said "Apple blood!"

"Uh. Don't ya mean apple juice" Engi asked to be sure he heard you correctly.

"No" you said with bright smile on your face.

Engi didn't ask any more questions, he just shrugged his shoulders and went to the kitchen to bring you your requested apple blood.

Much later you enjoyed your drink while gazing at Medic, who was operating on Heavy. You couldn't help but giggle as they both make funny jokes. Soon Medic whispered something to Heavy, who looked at you and slolwy noded.

"My Taube! Can you come here?" Medic asked. He didn't have to wait long, happy to see his work up close you walked up to him, excited.

"I'll teach you about my newest discovery! I created an incredible machine that can make my patients invincible for up to 8 seconds!"

You gasped and looked at Heavy's heart.

"This isn't his heart. Is it baboon's?"

"That is correct! Good job! I see you have read the books I sent you" he patted you on the head.

"And what is that?"

"This is the übercharge. It's still isn't finished. I want to make work with my other Mediguns, unfortunately, it still doesn't want to!" He sounded frustrated at that moment. You looked at a metal piece permanently stuck to Heavy's heart. You took out your small gloves from your purse.

"I tried everything! I tried changing its rate, position, and cables, but nothing worked. ...I think I must reconsider visiting my devilish friend."

While Medic mumbled to himself you cheerfully changed paces four metal pieces.

"Come on...come on...." you said to yourself. Medic stopped talking and observed how Heavy's heart started to glow. Seeing this you started to laugh. Laugh so hard and maniacally as Medic himself does when he succeeds. Heavy nervously glanced at Medic, but Medic reassured him that everything was okay with a gentle smile and nod. You glanced at your uncle a bit embarrassed.

"I apologise onkel. Did I...broke it?"

"Broke it?" Medic said surprised "My dear you just fixed it! I can't believe that the answer to that problem was so close and easy!"

Your eyes lighten up. Later Medic was testing his Übercharges, and you were allowed to über Heavy! It was fun to know how your uncle feels when he is helping his team. Strong. Important. You liked it!

Medic looked at the time. It was late. He glanced at you, to see you lying down on his medical bed, already closing your eyes. He chuckled and covered you in a warm blanket. You smiled at him, as he messed with your hair.

"I'll still be working, so if you wake up in the night, I'll be there"

You nodded and lay your head down on a soft pillow, probably filled with feathers Medic's doves leave him. "Gute Nacht Onkel..." you said slowly closing your eyes.

"Gute Nacht mein little Taube" said Medic softly before continuing his work.

You glanced at him one last time before falling asleep to the sounds of his Laboratory and his laughter. It was a pleasant, chaotic, full of excitement day... it was special for you, because it was spend with your favorite uncle.

You couldn't wait to wake up and see with what you can help him next.

[Thank you for reading!💀💙]

It was my first ever tf2 game in casual. I was pocketing nice Scout that probably knew i was new to the game, he was protecting me until the über push from the enemy team, andddd i didn't really knew what does that mean 😅

AND THAT POOR SCOUT WAS SPAMING "MEDIC!" TO WARN ME!

Opening requests again!

Remember to read about what I can write before sending one. Give me your ideas people, I wanna hear them, platonic, romantic or completely goofy ✌️✨️