HELLO ZHANNA! I HAVE COME ON JANE’S BEHALF TO DELIVER PRESENTS TO YOU FOR NO APPARENT REASON!!!

*places a small frog in the palm of your hand*

Why do you give me this small creature? Is this a message or bad omen?

Hey, bear mom. What's your favorite thing about Soldier?

He is very bombastic man. He will buy me honey so that I may go onto the battlefield with an advantage, and he will join me in the bloodshed. I adore all of him but especially this.

Uh.. Zhanna? A magic anon clown shrunk your husband.

I am aware. Their blood will make a good mixer for Jane and I's whiskey.

Got any cool stories?? I also bet you have very cool battle scars

Yes, very much! Jane and I once visited old roomate of his. Moment he saw Jane he tried to call police. I stopped him by snapping his neck but Jane insisted we leave anyways. Apparently strange man was a magician. His loss, we were trying to give him gift of raccoon. I'd like to say I have cool battle scars, but Zhanna has not yet come across a creature strong enough to leave one. Except for medic, but that is surgery scar, not battle.

If you weren't in a relationship with Soldier and you had to marry one of the other mercs, who would it be?

This question bewilders me, but I will answer. I find demoman quite fun company. Jane has invited me to go drinking with them and he lasted more than 5 seconds against me in an arm wrestle.

NOOOOOOOO I MISSED THE BIRTHDAY NOOOOOOOO

It's ok I forgive you, though you do seem to be very forgetful. First your dragon, and now this?

Here is a small cookie

That is indeed a VERY small cookie!

ALAS I FIND MYSELF IN A SITUATION if i [needed/direly acquired] to FIGHT A ROBOT TO THE DEATH\n what [methods/tactics/things] would you [recommend]? I HAVE AN AXE AND IM NOT AFRAID TO KILL IT

Just bash it's head in. You can't cut metal with axe but you sure as hell can crush it!

Jane, I have a gift for you!

[she gives you the finger she bit off of an anon]

THESE ARE AMAZING!

YOU ARE SPECTACULAR SWEETIE!

I must see this creature.

Tell soldier when you wake up that I will send you guys some bread because yes and America 🇺🇸🇺🇲🇺🇸🇺🇲🇺🇸🇺🇲🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🦅🇺🇲🦅🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

Thank you. Jane told me about time he mutated bread into a large beast. I hope to also experience these shenanigans once I join the team.