I’ve Said It Before And I’ll Say It Again, Let. People. Feel. Their. Grief. Often At Times We Don’t

love yourself despite it all. love yourself even when you said the wrong thing. when you messed up in class. when you got a grade you didn’t like. when you haven’t been outside in a week. accept yourself in spite of it all. accept yourself even if you didn’t get into the university you wanted. when you broke up with someone you thought you would stay with forever. when the guilt is eating you alive. when you feel like you can’t take it anymore. you are already whole, you are enough.

For all that your heart has seeped in through , for all that you have continued to give, for all that your being has continued to hold, for all that your skin has embraced, for every promise that you’ve thread onto for yourself, to see you on the other side, you made it :) I see you now and you still remain, every bit of you still remains, you made it to 2023. Happy new year <3

Strangely so, I hold onto the stem of the daffodils, a little tighter, a little longer, cultivating a strong desire to be enveloped by their cushioned petals

Handle yourself with the care and love that you yearn, you do not deserve to be beat up over an event that took a gruesome toll on you, putting up with that time was hard, dealing with the absence of so many figures was hard, having the constant fear of having nobody to reach out to was hard. And you have every right to accept that, it was completely alright to accept that you wanted to be held and loved even in a time where a version of you believed that you couldn’t. Say yes to being embraced

the screen of my laptop literally lights up every time I plug in the charger I could’ve sworn I heard it SING “so this is love mmm alas the light of my life has come home” EVEN THE KEYBOARD HEATS UP AND THE COOLER JUST LOSES ITS COLLECTIVE SHIT and I have to coo in her keys saying “down girl, easy.”

I don’t think anyone’s told you just how spotless a place your head is to plant a sprout, let me do you the honours

It’s ok if you can’t find the words. It’s ok if your heart feels to heavy in your chest so much so you can feel it sinking further into the void left by those that once were, I will hold it and dig the earth out to plant it in your backyard, for wherever home is, to show you how you love, to show you just how much of this red desire and passionfruit you hold within you, and to make you realise just how sickeningly sweet the aftertaste is and how it makes me want to blanket you with the warmth that it caressed me with, so to say I will show you how you love and love you whilst, I will tell you that’s it’s alright to not want to be stringing the weight of something you can’t afford, I will help you branch out to all the things that you missed and have the one and many nights you need to hold them close for the closure to come, to tell you that you don’t have to stitch your limbs down to someone while they’re anchoring you from fully and completely reaching out to that one version of yourself that respects and holds you. I will show you how you love and love you whilst :)

Subtle reminders are the pure symbolisation of growth and the way things settle around your life, the way events and people find their place in your life, becoming a part but not always an involvement, weathering the storm together, you realise that the next time you walk past this pavement, the little sprout you first saw from the corner of your eye would’ve bloomed out from its shoot in the open, compelling you to bathe it in the warmth of the sun and feeling the taint of heat living behind its silly footprints of freckles across your rosy cheeks, you would’ve witnessed growth and time, you would’ve witnessed growth and time :)

YOU DESERVE TO BE SPENT TIME WITH It’s important to realise that not every person out there has been set out to take advantage of you, we have our own past, we have our own lessons, but each and every individual out there, deserves to have the benefit of doubt for not necessarily having an ulterior motive against you. You are doing what you can out of your complete will, learn to slowly dissolve the thought where you think you don’t deserve to have anybody else’s company around you or you’re only worth spending time with because you’re their only way in and out of a loop.

Sure people NEED you, but that does not equate to them tossing you away once they’re done wrapping up. Because every time I think about it, it’s the same as somebody else shutting me out, with no regards to an explanation or having second thoughts about the way I’ve allowed myself to feel around them,about the way I’ve allowed myself to fully and completely love the deepest corners of their mind, body and heart. It felt bad to be given up on that easily. Refrain, reflect and then proceed :) you are healing, NOT shielding, there’s a difference. Let’s not blur the line <3