Hang On. It Gets Easier And Then It Gets Okay And Then It Feels Like Freedom.

“If you’re reading this, if there’s air in your lungs on this November day, then there is still hope for you. Your story is still going. And maybe some things are true for all of us. Perhaps we all relate to pain. Perhaps we all relate to fear and loss and questions. And perhaps we all deserve to be honest, all deserve whatever help we need. Our stories are all so many things: Heavy and light. Beautiful and difficult. Hopeful and uncertain. But our stories aren’t finished yet. There is still time, for things to heal and change and grow. There is still time to be surprised. We are still going, you and I. We are stories still going.”

— Jamie Tworkowski

I struggle with being socially anxious, shy and somewhat awkward and i've been told multiple times the first impression people get of me is being cold or mean eventho i'm not a rude person at all. I don't want to give that impression and i've been trying to be more chatty and extroverted. What can I do to come accross more kind and gentle? That's honestly the type of energy I want to have. I envy people with such inviting aura and vibes about them which I don't seem to have.

It’s okay to be reserved, but you should still work on your social skills.

Your facial expressions are important. When people say to smile more often, they don’t mean to stay like 😁😊 but more like 🙂. Think of nice or funny things to keep a sweet expression on your face. Smile from your eyes. “Smile”

Body language is everything. If you cross your arms often for instance, it can be seen as you being closed off and cold. Have open body language. Avoid being a wall flower and hiding in corners.

How are you with small talk? Brush up on social scripts, that’s all it is really is. Say hi to strangers when you pass by (use discernment)

Use eye contact and good posture. Don’t hang your head.

Try to get rid of your paranoia. Being self conscious is what tends to kill charisma.

Stay off of your phone, instead people watch or look at the scenery.

Tony Hoagland, from “Peaceful Transition”, What Narcissism Means to Me

these violent delights have violent ends, and in their triumph die; like fire and powder, which, as they kiss, consume.

— William Shakespeare, Romeo & Juliet.

"Life is so largely eating and sleeping and going places without ever getting there."

– Sylvia Plath

Mahmoud Darwish, from Unfortunately, It Was Paradise: Selected Poems; “The Hoopoe,”

~Some Rules on Self Love in no particular order~

Challenge Yourself: know that anything you want to achieve, you’re worth the time and effort that goes into it. Challenging yourself and setting new goals builds self confidence

Be in competition w/ you and no one else: don’t compare yourself to others, for you do not know their path or their desired destination. You’re unique because you’re you and no one else has your lives experiences or exact perspective.

Do what you say you’re going to do: not just for other but for yourself. If you promise yourself something, if you tell yourself you’re going to do something, do it. Not only will you be more productive, but you won’t feel the need to wallow in self loathing over something you said you were going to do and never got to

Value your time: for this is indeed valuing yourself. It’s okay to relax and lay around and do absolutely nothing sometimes, but dedicating your time to nothing is dedicating yourself to nothing. Value yourself enough to put your tile to good use

Anticipate the future: try your best to look out for your future self, even in the smallest ways. From picking something up off the floor so that you don’t trip on it tomorrow to keeping a pack of makeup wipes beside your bed for those lazy days

Respect yourself, your belonging and your space: you deserve to live in a clean, functional space. Respect your belongings, have a place for them and put them in their place. Respect yourself by not letting others disrespect you, set and assert your boundaries. Respect your space by setting the rules and enforcing them. You’re in charge here, and what you say goes.

Well time for another night of ugly crying to champagne problems.