If You Claim To Hate Cats And Can’t Stand Them But As Soon As You See One You Go “pssst Pssst Here

Another story time chiming in:

I prosecute child exploitation cases, so I get a lot of reports from real gross mf’ers. The past month or so, I’ve had a couple cases where people with illegal -material- have also had various Satanist/Wiccan/occult paraphernalia in their houses. The agents I talked to were like, “it’s so weird that these people have this stuff, they must be REALLY messed up if they’re satanists.” And then I whip out my Satanic Temple membership card (because of course I have one, I’m a lefty troll). And I’m like, “oh look, on our membership card it says ‘thou shalt not harm children’, I think I need to report them to the higher ups.”

The look on their face is PRICELESS.

And then I indict the assholes with kiddie pictures, because fuck them, but I find it endlessly amusing to troll stodgy southern American Christians who wither from depictions of Satan like a vampire recoils from garlic.

Story time!

Today at work l got asked the wildest question. Mind you at my job we are like the only ones left in the building so our boss has been real laid back with the dress code, so im able to wear some of my alt. graphic tees. And the one l wore today has a chibi Baphomet in a pentagram that say ‘you have a beautiful soul, give it to me’ And everyone in that office knows that is my aesthetic and normal dress wear, so they are cool with it; I even get asked often if I practiced that religion/witchcraft, of course l leave them running in circles about it haha. But a older coworker comes up to me and this is our convo.

CW: “cool shirt, if you don’t mind me asking but who is that character on it?”

Me: “Oh, its Baphomet!”

CW; “ and where is he from”

Me: *brief pause in my mind* like lol what

Me: “uhhh...hell?”

I mean his name might not as famous as Lucifer Morningstar or Satan, but come on if the beast head/legs/hooves with a humonaid chest doesn’t scream ‘demon’ - like you cant be that shut out that you dont even know, you’re religious too, surely you’ve seen pictures before.

I mean, she might of genuinely not of known 🤣 HAVING SAID THAT THOUGH, speaking from personal experiences, old people just LOVE to question anything "different" about people, and then just give you those judgey eye's because they live for that shit 😂

Old person: I see you have your nose pierced..*those judgemental eye's* back in my day we didn't have that kind of stuff..Good thing too, its strange and unnecessary and doesn't look nice. 😑

Me: Yeah I've got my pussy pierced too Barbara, wanna comment on that while you're at it? 🙄 Fuck off. 😂

~

Y’all know the Bermuda Triangle?

Everyone who got lost there disrespected pronouns in front of Dolly.

You can’t prove me wrong.

Sorry Diavolo, I’m gonna be your stepmom. Go clean your room, Daddy and I need to have a grownup conversation.

Some Self-Indulgent Young Demon King Doodle~ 

Lucifer is Jumin Han, but with the superior pet species, and that’s why I love him.

Who doesn’t love a guy who loves dogs? Lucifer with a puppy Cerberus anyone? Yes? Yes.

Look, I don’t know about the Devildom, but up here in the human world, I have rights.

And I will worship whatever abs I want.

Barbatos's abs supremacy

Sigh

Please do not make a group worshiping my abs

And I love them both.

Self-defense idea: get a big chrome grill with sharp gemstones for extra biting power

(edit I think the gif depicts blinged-out braces, but I can confirm from experience that those bitches are sharp)

This has been bothering me since I started playing otome games, especially the Ikemen series (aka “Kidnapping for Fun and Profit Romance”). Why are the MC’s always helpless as shit and/or shaking in their boots as soon as the love interest gets into some kind of scuffle?

My daddy didn’t teach me to throw a haymaker so some malnourished nineteenth-century twat could pick me up and carry me away. When the MC is threatened by an antagonist/random mugger/whatever plot device, I want an option to say, “Bitch I can bench-press you and your Dickensian orphan buddies, go eat whatever sewer rats you use as a protein source and come back to me in a couple months.”

Maybe it’s a cultural thing, and the Japanese market likes their protagonists sweet and innocent, or maybe I’m just white trash, I dunno. Give me an MC who is about to take her earrings off and turn her rings in ‘cause she is gonna step to these fools.

In summary:

I guarantee you I drank Demonus and threw it up later at least weekly when I was a freshman in college.

idk why i always assumed demonus was wine or sth but you’re telling me... it’s jungle juice????????

Oooh! Me!

I will climb that man like a tree

Simeon: Have you seen MC?

Lucifer: [Moves his coat to reveal MC clinging onto him]

Lucifer: Help me.

When my sister and I turned out to only date atheists/Jewish people, and my dad found my social media full of atheist memes, he gave us a long lecture about how “we look down on good God-fearing people” and we are what’s wrong with this country. Pretty sure if he knew I was into fictional demons, by now he’d just shrug and accept that he has failed as a good Christian parent. LMAO.

FR though, it gets better. They learn to accept you, possibly by just avoiding the topic of religion (fine by me), or they don’t, in which case you can set your own boundaries and create your own support system. I’m always around to lend an ear for the budding atheist in the midst of southern-Christian-America. :)

Damn, I feel you. My family is very religious and spiritual and if they found out that I even played obey me and that I've fell in love with almost all of the Demon brothers in the game and Diavolo then my Mom would call my uncle and have him rebaptize lol. And she'll give me a lecture about how wrong it is even though it's just a game :/

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL FOR US WIFBSHS I feel like my mom wants to send me to a convent now 😭😭 wait till they find out im an athiest