Auilox - Auilox's Discomblogulation

It's my 13 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

Yay, me!

I hate hospitals/where even mountains weep

in the hospital's crowded hallway,

I stand alone

cold steel clatters,

overlapping somber screams

drenched in antiseptic-

the reaper's lullaby.

the worst of it, however, is when

i see a father

he's concrete and rocks,

a pillar of our haven,

the core of a warm hearth.

but his iron heart,

now starts to fracture,

like a sandcastle

facing the wrath of a storm.

he, who once blazed so bright,

shielding us from the cold

now withers, grows pale

his flame, once bold, now a blue ember.

as I gaze upon him,

i ponder the weight he bears;

in his shoes,

what fate awaits I-

a house of cards,

should I, too, bear

even a fraction of his woes.

The daily meme

OMG THIS BLEW UP THANK YOU FOR THIS

Chicago Tribune, Illinois, April 15, 1902

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time I was a real person. I used to do the things that real people do. I had a job. I was close to my family. I had friends. I used to go out and do things that real people do. Go to dinner with my friends. See a movie. Go to a concert. Attend special occasions like birthdays, confirmations, funerals, school events, weddings, first communions. I could be relied upon. I was respected. The people I cared about cared about me too.

Then I was robbed. I have a disease and it stole everything from me. My job, my friends, some of my family. It happened somewhat slowly. Rumors were spread that I was an alcoholic because my schedule became erratic. Then there was some concern about the medication I was taking to help control the disease. I obviously had a problem. I started cancelling on people, again and again. I was honored to be asked to be a friend's bridesmaid, and excited that the wedding was in another country. What fun! But then I realized I wasn't going to be able to make it. And I had to cancel. We're not close friends anymore. That's just one example of life as I know it.

My friends don't ask me out. Why bother when I'm either going to say no or cancel at the last minute? I don't ask anyone over to see me. Why? Because I can't keep house. I don't have the strength. I didn't even make it to dinner on my own birthday this year. Or my husband's birthday (I promised to take him out; he said he wouldn't hold his breath). Or my mother's birthday. (The grocery list for dinner is still on the refrigerator.)

My story started "once upon a time." I know better than to expect "happily ever after."

Sunday Mirror, England, January 23, 1938

I don't think I look that bad! Good morning