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headcanons for Percy?

WHOOP WHOOP okay just to preface this, most of this is me going “hey i think being a kid of poseidon is a weirdly complex experience”

i think this is canon officially but percy’s music taste is one of the 78378837 things in his life he got from his mother; sally’s an old-school rock and old-school rap diehard, and percy follows right in her footsteps, because on days when gabe wasn’t home sally would turn their shitty little radio that sat on the kitchen countertop on and bang her head while cleaning or cooking or shuffling bills. trips to montauk were sally shouting the lyrics to an AC/DC song and tiny percy not knowing the words but wanting to join in, so he’s just shouting nonsense. a lot of the things percy likes, he likes them for sentimental reasons, and music’s just another one of those things.

when percy was first born for three weeks he would literally not stop screaming. he would not shut up. he would sleep for half an hour and then he’d scream for three. and then sally gives him his first real bath, and percy is the happiest he’s ever been since he’s been alive. i have in my head a very comical image of sally pulling percy out of the little tub and he starts screaming like a banshee, and then she sets him back down and he’s back to giggling happily, rinse, repeat - so eventually sally learns that she can clean the kitchen sink really good, stop it, and just drop percy in. after she figures that out he’s an insanely easy baby, and also toddler, because imagine if you could just dump a cup of water on your kid’s head and he’d just instantly be less upset. the downside to this is that water gives percy a lot of energy, but sally would rather be chasing a giggling toddler than a screaming one.

because of that, growing up, whenever percy was angry or upset and sally couldn’t immediately calm him down because she had to wrangle gabe, she’d tell percy to take a shower. percy takes showers based on his current mood. he thinks everyone does this, and one time at his first summer at CHB, annabeth is upset about a fight she had with someone in the athena cabin and percy’s helpful advice is, “maybe you should take a shower?” and annabeth gets so pissed because she’s 12 and she thinks percy’s telling her she smells. percy is extremely confused.

if he’s ever landlocked far away from the coast for a long time, he gets antsy and irritable and depressed, which is not something they figure out until annabeth’s first job involves her relocating to denver for six months and percy goes with her, and it is a truly hellish six months. they figure it out when they stop off at CHB on the way home because maybe percy just needs something familiar, maybe he’s just homesick, and then he proceeds to stay under the ocean for three days straight

while i’m thinking about headcanons relating to percy being half sea god, this kid drinks a truly astronomical amount of water. he’s like the king of the hydration nation. he has a reusable water bottle of truly monstrous size that he has to fill up every hour, because he is the most hydrated person alive, and he has been known to sometimes just stick his head under the faucet and drink directly from the sink like an oversized dog. beverages that are not water are unacceptable. annabeth, who lives off of tea, coffee, and red bull, thinks this is weird.

half sea god metabolisms go hard because percy’s body, although he doesn’t realize it because he’s never lived in the ocean, works doubletime when he’s not in the water. he eats so much because it takes more energy for him to exist on land than it does for literally anyone else. zeus and hades kids have it easy, they’re literally always breathing air or walking on land, they’re in their natural element just all the time. percy’s magic godblood is just screaming “what the fuck is this what the fuck is this what the fuck is this” and that’s why percy eats almost an entire meal every three hours.

further Percy’s Blood Is Half Seawater headcanons include: he has never owned an umbrella in his life because he just trots through the rain like nothing in the world is wrong, he’s not only more resistant to heat but also resistant to cold because the ocean’s pretty damn cold most of the time, he has a high tolerance to mortal drugs so when he gets sick not even the tamiflu can’t save him, if he’s near the ocean he gets really bouncy at incoming tide when the waves are strongest, always knows whether it’s an el nino or la nina year, and he doesn’t know it because NYC isn’t exactly at risk for hurricanes, but the closer he gets to natural ones the more batshit he goes. completely chaotic, can’t focus on anything, running around like a chicken with his head cut off.

living on a fault line or near a fault line is a NO GO he CANNOT DO IT. not just because percy accidentally triggering an earthquake on a fault line could Fuck Shit Up, but because the constant tension of the colliding of the tectonic plates puts him on edge. he gets stress migraines near transcurrent faults. being near intense volcanic activity for a prolonged amount of time, like living near an active volcano, just makes him angry. sometimes he gets inexplicably frustrated when traveling, it’s just because they’re over a failed ancient rift in the middle of a tectonic plate. and percy accidentally triggers a lot of earthquakes, but since they’re all intraplate quakes and he has no idea he’s doing it, they turn out to be more like lil tiny tremors, and people just kind of... don’t notice it. no one figures this out until after the giant war and percy’s struggling with night terrors and those tremors start getting a lot more noticeable. percy, annabeth, and grover have to go on a Recovery Roadtrip because staying in one place means percy’s doing a lot of damage to one specific area of a gigantic tectonic plate and creating a weakness in the earth’s crust increases the tectonic stress making subsequent earthquakes worse and also i fucking think they deserve a roadtrip what the fuck!

being a kid of poseidon needs to come with a goddamn handbook, but it’d be 1000 pages of the wildest shit imaginable, like “if you need a blood transfusion there’s not going to be any human that can help. you’re going to have to find a willing horse or ocean creature, and pegasi do not count” or “if you ever have the urge to just knock back a salt shaker like it’s a shot of vodka, that’s also normal, and encouraged”

i’m pretty sure canon contradicts this but lol canon is mine to ignore, but i think because of gabe’s tendency to be a gross human being, percy has grown into being a neat freak. annabeth leaves one (1) empty can on the table and percy makes distressed percy noises about how they HAVE A RECYCLING BIN, BABE, TRASH DOESN’T BELONG ON THE TABLE - also because of gabe, percy gets weird around alcohol and the smell of beer makes his heart hammer. which is awkward, because sometimes the older CHB kids who survived the titan war and the giant war celebrate being alive by sneaking in alcohol, and chiron will turn a blind eye to it because CHB is one of two places in the world where demigods are safe to be off their game. mr. d is seething, but, you know, that’s fine. so percy spends those parties cleaning up after people and cutting people off when they’ve had too much and chatting with the people who got drunk but accidentally got sad drunk. if they’re on the beach and the waves are crashing harder than usual, well, they’re a bunch of demigods excited about being alive, and no one really notices.

extremely good taste in sneakers he just wears those sneakers with like, the worst outfit imaginable

okay, so:

Rachel is literally one of the richest people in the country…all she had to do was say her full name and that chauffeur in botl immediately cancelled on his client to drive her and her friends around. When you add her wealth and status to the fact that she’s very outspoken about her family’s entire business and organizes and promotes multiple protests and does performance art…like. she’s popular online. no doubt.

Piper’s dad is supposed to be like, the hottest guy in Hollywood, and even though those girls from the wilderness school didn’t recognize her, he doesn’t really strike me as the type of celebrity parent to shield her from the media or events- he wants her to enjoy and take advantage of the privilege she has. I’m sure he’s got her plastered all over his social media and takes her as his date to every red carpet premiere. When you take into account she’s a Troubled Youth™, I’m sure gossip mags and anyone who likes celebrity kids is obsessed with her. 

Annabeth, since Magnus is ‘’’’dead’’’’, is legally the sole heir to her family’s entire fortune, and technically owns the building that Blitz and Hearth are running that wonderful homeless youth shelter out of. I’m sure that will get her some media coverage. 

And then we’ve got…Percy, the kid everyone remembers blew up the St. Louis Arch and I’m SURE there are still debates about whether he was really a hostage or not years later. Frank, who’s grandmother was a wealthy business woman, who hasn’t been seen since his family’s estate mysteriously exploded. Thalia and Jason, who are literally the missing children of a disgraced Hollywood starlet. Don’t you think this could…get messy?

Like…Percy popping up on Rachel and Annabeth’s instagrams, and people who recognize him are just like ‘hey what the fuck’, and internet sleuths who have been obsessed with that case look further into it, and realize Annabeth was also involved in the mysterious kidnapping/terrorist streak, then looking further into her and realizing…apart from her and her nuclear family, everyone she’s related to has died under very mysterious circumstances? Magnus was pulled out of a river with a hole burned into his abdomen. Randolph’s wife and children drowned at sea, Randolph was thrown down a cavern or something, Magnus’ mother was mauled by wolves in her apartment in the middle of Boston…like hello? Then they realize there’s no record of Annabeth like, existing, between the ages of 7 and 12, and…does this bitch even have a birth certificate? Her father’s a notable professor and author, but there’s no mention of her mother anywhere, not even a single picture, and when pressed his life long friends said he just showed up with a baby one day, without even having ever mentioned he was seeing a woman…so this baby just? appeared? one day, with no warning, and now she’s an heiress who owns a homeless shelter in a city she doesn’t live in? what the fuck? The internet sleuths started out trying to crack the mystery of the Arch Bombing and somehow opened up a whole other can of worms.

Oh, right- the bomber! How does Percy Jackson know Rachel Elizabeth Dare?! The conspiracy theorists are worried about that- maybe it wasn’t a kidnapping, maybe the kid really was on a crime spree, and now maybe Rachel is looking to take her protests up to a new level and is looking at this criminal mastermind for help. Some weirdo who knows how to use a facial recognition program and has too much time on his hands identifies them both as being present at the Hoover Dam Riots from a few years ago- the riot that lead to the destruction of those angel statues! The sleuths are then able to pull up an article tying both of them to an explosion at their high school- but with Rachel’s father’s wealth and Percy’s stepfather being a respected teacher there, it’s no wonder charges were dropped! They then find some other weird, buried reports- Rachel stealing a helicopter and flying it into Manhattan? Rachel appearing to have deranged, mysterious ‘episodes’ in the middle of class? Wait, what the fuck- Percy’s school principal reported him as a missing person, and his mother and stepfather were uncooperative with the police investigation? Then Percy showed up 8 months later and claimed his aunt kidnapped him, but wouldn’t give the police any information past that?

So the sleuths start digging into those 8 months- there’s security camera footage showing Percy, looking haggard and homeless, stealing a cop car? around the area of that huge explosion in Rome? spotted all around Greece in the days before the bombing at the Parthenon? What the fuck? 

Then, holy shit- they find footage of him and missing teen Frank Zhang getting onto a private plane less than 20 minutes after the Zhang estate was blown up?? These conspiracy theorists aren’t even barely ready for this rabbit hole. The Zhang kid isn’t very active on social media, but combing through Percy Jackson’s pages they’re able to find a few images of him. Recent, post-estate bombing ones. Most of them appear to be goofy selfies with Percy and an unidentified girl that was also spotted on the security footage with them, but there’s one group shot that catches everyone’s eyes- because apart from featuring the weird Chase girl, what the fuck is that Tristan McLean’s daughter????

So they start combing through Piper’s pages- she’s more active than the Zhang kid, but apart from posting her mugshots with goofy captions, going on rants about meat-eaters, and posting videos of her dad being weird, she doesn’t have a lot of information. Except…one internet sleuth that joined this internet search party swears she recognizes a boy that pops up in a lot of pics on her instagram. Some more digging and they got it- it’s Leo Valdez, the kid who was accused of killing his mother! He’s got some cousins that have been trying to clear his name for years now, but they haven’t been able to find him because he keeps running from foster homes, they have a whole page dedicated to people trying to track him down! They contact the Valdez family members, and they’re elated to find out he’s alive and safe- but then it becomes a question of how does he know Piper McLean and what was he doing with her, Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, and Frank Zhang in Greece around the time of the Parthenon bombing???

They start looking into the other two teenagers pictured with the group in Greece- they can’t find anything on the young girl, other than the Jackson kid referring to her as ‘Hazel’ in some of his posts, but the other boy…

He’s not very active online- just some aesthetic coffee shop pics, a few blurry selfies, and designs for what appears to be an architecture project at his school. But his username is ‘*disgraced*’, he’s called ‘Jay’ and ‘Jason’ in posts by his friends, he’s got blond hair, striking blue eyes, and a very specific scar on his lip…

THE TRUE CRIME COMMUNITY IS FLIPPING THEIR FUCKING SHIT. DID THEY JUST FIND BERYL GRACE’S MISSING SON AFTER 15 FUCKING YEARS?!?!?!

Sleuths completely drop the bomb plot at this fucking point, and put all their energy in finding out if this is The Jason Grace, and- they literally can’t find a record of this person before he suddenly started appearing on Piper McLean’s and Leo Valdez’ media profiles. It looks like all his social accounts were started in August of the year he would’ve turned sixteen. But he’s the right age, he looks close to the computer generated age-up pictures made for the case, and- holy shit someone found a picture on Percy Jackson’s instagram of Jason and a girl called Thalia!

People are losing their minds- this girl looks a lot younger than the 20-something Thalia should be, but Beryl Grace was known for her innocent baby-faced look, so that can explain the difference between her and the aged-up picture. Same striking blue eyes as the boy next to her, same freckle pattern splashed across her nose, same raven hair and sharp smile that made her one of Hollywood’s biggest beauties before she could even talk properly. 

She doesn’t seem to have any social media herself, but pops up in quite a few of Jackson’s and the Chase girl’s pictures. Once Beryl Grace’s old friends, who have been searching for her children for years, see the picture of the smiling siblings together, it’s nothing but tears. They’re insistent that these are absolutely the Grace siblings, and are begging the police in charge of their case to track them down. They want to know they’re safe! And the rest of the world wants answers! Where have they been for all these years!

And how are they connected to what appears to be an ongoing bombing/murder/money grabbing plot????

what is going on here?!?!?!

 All this information gets dragged up in less than a month. People are going full Pepe Silvia level crazy trying to piece everything together. Netflix has already announced a conspiracy documentary about the hunt for the truth about this band of kids and what their end goal is.

Chiron’s just sitting at Camp Halfblood watching all this shit go down like:

Annabeth’s little brothers Bobby and Matthew are going Full Feral Gen Z online to fan the flames of conspiracy, “oh yeah the first time we met Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace they stole our dad’s car and drove it off a mountain”, “one time Annie stabbed a man in front of us”, they post a tik tok of what appears to be Annabeth and Percy drenched in blood and dust cleaning off weapons??? They set an ABBA song over it??? Everyone’s losing their minds but then one day on a live stream people start asking if they know Why their sister and her friends are like this and they just dead pan, ‘oh, they’re all demigods. the ancient gods are all real and it just gets messy for their kids sometimes, Annie’s mom is Athena-” and everyone is like ah. they’re just assholes feeding us false information. (they still post tik toks like ‘put a finger down if one time your sister took you out for ice cream but then this weird man who would later hold the titan kronos in his body showed up and begged her to run away with him so he could avoid the kronos thing even though she was like 15 and he was an adult and then she pulled out a knife and told him she should slit his throat after all he’s put her through but then he called her out on her bluff but still accepted the rejection and left and then she offered to get you a second helping of ice cream if you didn’t tell your parents about that whole thing and then later the ice cream parlor was attacked by a snake woman’ lmao)

Anyway, desktop detectives keep pressuring the police and the fbi and whoever the fuck to look into this whole thing deeper and make some arrests, but they can’t, because while everything that’s been surfaced is suspicious, it’s all circumstantial. The only ones that actually have arrest records are Piper and Leo( and Leo’s was without evidence, as his cousins are still fighting to get the case reopened!), all charges on Percy and Rachel have already been dropped or overturned, there’s absolutely nothing physically connecting Annabeth and her father to their family’s deaths, Frank was never actually a suspect in his family’s fire and while the footage with Percy was suspicious it wasn’t illegal, and they still haven’t been able to physically produce the Grace Siblings or even get a phone number for either of them, so like….all that plus the occasional intervention of the Mist, even though it absolutely looks like this is a whole criminal master plot…they can’t prove it! Just taking a group picture on a boat in Greece isn’t enough to legally claim they bombed the Parthenon!

This all comes to a head when the Netflix docuseries premieres, full of the online theorists who pieced this whole puzzle together but where unable to find the last piece that would connect the whole plot and make it make sense….

Percy Jackson films a video of him and all his friends who are fingered in the docuseries watching and reacting to it. They think it’s completely hilarious. He posts the video to his youtube channel (which Sally later Murders him for) and it’s the top trending video for like…half a fucking year. 

like…the drama. the mess. the conspiracy. I want it. 

THE TAGS IM SOBBING

levi : i guess i’m just a weirdo otaku-

mc, cutting him off : don’t piss me off

Smut for my best pookie question mark?

This might've been the most bizarre situation you've ever been in. Which is saying a lot for someone who was a child solider in a war. But here you were in your apartment, your roommate gone to her boyfriends place, hotboxing the living room with your ex boyfriend and the man you've had a crush on since your first year of U.A. If you were told about this blunt rotation back then you'd have cried laughing. But God were you thankful to see it. Iida wasn't as stiff as he was in U.A, and it was more than the weed in his lungs. He was currently laid back relaxed againstthe couch. Arms on the top of your sofa. His head was leaned back and his legs unconsciously spread. You took a hit while eying him. He was definitely feeling the effects if he was this open. You glanced at your past boyfriend Denki. He was a good boyfriend. A fun one. All your firsts. He was already looking at you with his head tilted. He wasn't an immature teenage boy anymore, he was strong with a body littered in scars from his quirk and his work. And his legs were also spread. And now maybe this was the weed talking, after all it takes a lot of smoke to hotbox a living room, but you can't decide which one you want to steal away to your room.

Denki laughed at you, noticing the battle in your head for each man. Now Denki was no idiot. He knew of your crush on the uptight class president. However the strangest thing is that he didn't find himself minding. He'd find you're eyes wander to Iida in the common room while in his arms. And he'd find himself staring Iida down too. Iida was a fit man, even in U.A. he was just so focused on becoming someone worthy of the title of Ingenium he never noticed the wandering eyes. He didn't realize he was why yours and Denkis relationship ended. He was genuinely saddened to hear it. You both can tell the other is thinking about the breakup when you pass the blunt to Denki. Your eyes never leaving each others. You had ended it. It was when you finally realized it was more than just thinking Iida was attractive. And Denki didn't deserve that. Of course you managed to say anything other than that. But he knew. Your eyes fell to his lips as he inhaled. You had stayed close through out though. And now in your mid 20's you wanted to kindle the spark between you again.

"Eyes up here" He said with a smile. You looked up, caught in the act. But you didn't say anything.

"Pass it to me again" Iida said rearranging himself to be closer to you two, "Please."

"Never expected you to be begging for a blunt class pres." You hummed. And if you didn't know he was high before you do now because Iida rolled his eyes. You hadn't been a class in 6 years, but everyone still couldn't help the urge to tease him like you were. Denki leaned back into his part of the couch, groaning as he got comfortable. And that's when you realized he was looking Iida up and down. Well shit. Maybe everyone can be happy. You tilted your head to Denki with a knowing look, even if it had been half a decade you still knew what that look on his face meant. Now you just need to see what Iida thought of the two of you.

Iida thought he was fucked. He was sweating from the heat but also the looks you and denki have been sending each other. He felt like he was intruding on something that should be for your eyes only. First impressions go he thought you guys were annoying. His tune changed when you guys got together though. His mood soured whenever he was in a conversation with you and Denki joined in. His friends told him he had a crush on you, and maybe he did but you had a boyfriend. And he had a title he needed to work to earn, and so he let it go. He would never admit to sighing in relief when he heard the news. And he felt instantly evil about it. So now to be in the same dark, smokey room as you two. We'll let's just say he's nervous. And ever since graduation Denki has been pushing his buttons in a different way. When you two turned to him with smiles on your faces he feared he miscalculated. He was now a pawn in your games. He inhaled deeper than he should've to ease his nerves, causing him to cough.

Seeing Iida cough you quickly passed him a glass of water from the table. His thanks was so quiet you couldn't even hear it. And thats when you saw the red from his neck to his ears. He had the sense to be looking down to not show the worst of it. Denki got up and sat so close to Iida that their thighs were completely touching.

"Someone get this away from me." Iida muttered. Denki took it from his fingers and gave it to you. Not knowing when to quit you breathed in while watching Denki put his arm around Iida, eyes narrowing when he started whispering in his ear. Iida tried to say something sternly before stopping in his tracks completely. He covered his face with one of his hands. But he didn't think to cover his erection.

"Thereee we go Iida." Denki said sliding his other hand to Iidas thigh. " I knew you'd be into this. I mean you were into her when we were kids yeah? We were into you too."

Your eyes widened. Never knowing about Denkis feelings. You got up to the other side of Iida, tilting your head at him. He looked at you guilty before what denki said sunk in. He looked at you too shyly, it was extremely out of character but then again him smoking was too.

"Is that so Iida?" You whispered, teasing him. He didn't notice the undertone though when he answered.

"Hes speaking the truth." He looked away only to be trapped in Denkis gaze.

"Why don't we make up for that?" Denki said leaning in.

And instead of Iida saying no, he closed the space. And fuck was it hot. While denki was rough with want and years of watching, Iida was strongly romantic. And you were feeling left out. You held his bicep before you starting kissing his neck. And the groan he let out gave you goosebumps. Iida was sandwiched between two of the hottest people he'd ever seen. With you basically on his lap and Denki with his knees on the couch grabbing his hair and your thigh, he felt like he was in heaven. It was so so hot in here. Iida didn't want to but he had to break the kiss to breathe, and that's when you sat fully on him and turned to make out with Denki. This was a motion you two had mastered awhile ago, but with Iida here it felt so new and thrilling. You grinded down on Iida while you and denki held each others faces in a desperate grip. Iida groaned and his head fell back. He gripped your waist before grinding back at you making you gasp. You broke the kiss to throw your head back and Denki turned to start biting Iidas neck.

"Its too hot in here." Iida mumbled mindlessly. You both hummed in response before taking your shirts off. Both men groaned when they saw you didn't have a bra on.

"Missed this." Denki quickly said before grabbing your breasts. You moaned grasping his head as he leaned to take one your nipples in your mouth. Iida was never one for even porn but watching you he thought he was gonna cum in his pants not being touched. You and denki had started moving in ways you had a million times before. Iida started to get self conscious before Denki popped off,

"Wanna try?" And Denki pushed his head to you. You gripped Iidas shoulders while Denki took his pants off. He was so rock hard kirishima would've been jealous.

You whispered into Iidas ear, "think you can take both of us?" And he groaned sending more pleasure down your spine. He nodded but looked like a lost puppy.

"Here you go." Denki brought his hand to his dick and head falling back when Iida started pumping. Turned out Iida was a great multitasker. Grabbing your waist grinding while jerking off Denki. It kept going until you gasped finally being pushed over the edge. Iida quickly followed, ruining his pants. The image of this cause Denki to cum, paining Iidas hand and your thigh.

"Shit" You panted coming down.

" You can say that again." Iida agreed. He gently picked you up and put you next to Denki before getting up. You were both too fuzzy to know or care what he was doing. But he came back with a washcloth for the two of you. He kissed both of you before laying down.

"Dude your poor pants." Denki snickered.

"Oh don't start."

You smiled between them before falling asleep.

Kitten ill be completely honest daddy is a fucking mess right now

Does anyone have good wlw book recs?? Specifically with one of them at least being masc? I'm so sick of going on tiktok looking for books where it's just two fem white women. 😭 I want more then the same 5 books yk??