Staying The Submissive Course

Staying the Submissive Course

A D/s dynamic is consent based and the submissive can always say no,  can maintain boundaries, and can even opt out. Agreements can be renegotiated, terms of engagement changed, new boundaries discovered.

And for me an essential part of submission is staying the course even when interest wanes. Keeping to the role and the agreements when tired, desires shift, or you are feeling distracted. Actually feeling a diminishment in energy or interest is all the more reason to lean in for by leaning in to your dynamic, the protocols, the agreements, you are cultivating the connection.

Don’t feel libidinous but your dominant wants sex? Focus on their desire and have sex anyway. Serve them and let that service be the satisfaction.

Work is demanding and you feel too distracted for your assigned edges (or nipple pumping or fill in the blank)? Keep your promise and find your center in the protocol. Allow it to be the counter balance to the call of work.

Gave control of your orgasms to your dominant but now really want to orgasm? Remind yourself the pleasure you derive from the control and maintain your commitment.

Staying the course is not always easy nor is it always fun, but keeping to your commitments and maintaining your connection occurs when you lean into your dynamic rather than away from it. Give up the notion that you have to personally want to do something in order to do it. Instead embrace the notion that you want to do it because your dominant wants you to do it. That is to me the big shift in mindset needed for a solid D/s foundation.