Now For Something A Little Different..the Dragon Goddess Of The Winds, Sketch > Finish~

Oh sweet Jesus Christ.

$7.25 $1231

Apply today Sign up for text alerts to see drive-thru pantries in your area Join us after services for a homemade meal and prayer support Limited to single mothers, the elderly, and the unemployed Sign up for a backpack plan: food assistance for low income families If you are in need of a hot meal join our waiting list Include your email for notifications if your cart is funded Your application will be reviewed in 7-10 business days Weekly shared meals on Tuesday at 2:30pm Those with current government ID and a local address are welcome What documents you need to sign up for SNAP benefits LEARN: click this link for tips on nutrition LEARN: where to find coupons online LEARN: penny-pinching tips at the grocery store LEARN: how to start a saving plan LEARN: part-time jobs that will work with your schedule r/personalfinace r/povertyfinance r/randomactsofpizza r/beermoney First time Donor? What you need to know First weekly visit: $40 Second weekly visit: $70 How to treat a hemotoma at home Can meditation lower your resting heart rate? Five foods high in iron Three signs that you might be dehydrated Securing a loan is easy and fast Available to consumers at all levels of credit To help cover life's little emergencies Your title is returned when the lien is released Get approved in minutes Apply today

heard they’re making it easier tomorrow. not sure if it’s true, but don’t you wanna find out?

To add to this, because I realized I hadn't said It, this sort of 'non-aversion' applies to depictions of love or romance in a work. I have never, and expect I will never, develop a crush on someone beyond the (I think uniquely asexual? Lemme know.) Concept of 'friend-lust' where you end up thinking 'i like them so much platonically, if it meant getting closer, I'd do a relationship for their benefit.' (a usually wrong or unhelpful thought.)

I'm actually a sucker for vicarious romance and the more tender flavors of love in a literary work. I've never felt these things myself, but isn't it the purview of great authors to make you feel emotions you've never felt?

It's that very thing that made me genuinely unsure whether I should put Aro in my blog name, but I do believe that to be true for me right now. Maybe other Aro's experience this, but I sometimes find myself wishing I could feel it, even though I don't. I wanted to add context to this, but it's getting long and is its own post, so find that if you want.

We putting the diary in aroacekinkdiary today, gamers.

The name of this blog might be confusing to some, I realize.

For context, I am asexual and aromantic. For those that care, I'm mixed to sensuality, but platonic touch is nice.

I'm genuinely unsure why, but while the idea of having sex, watching sex, or otherwise engaging with sex personally makes me something between nauseous-due-to-anxiety and digusted, I have no such hangups about writing or art containing it. I find it to be a very interesting way for characters to express themselves conceptually, and even find a not insignificant amount of -uh- personal gratification from it. Not sure if that counts as sex repulsed, I'm no expert, but at the very least I know I have libido.

Part of this blog is me trying to figure out how that, and a few other pieces, fit into the puzzle of who I am. If you're Asexual or know a lot about it and think you have good input, I invite it.

Plus, I love this stuff a lot as an art form, and I think I'm tired of wishing I could talk about my thoughts on it. So, I'm gonna post it instead, follow for more DnD content and Art I reblog and porn game/webnovel reviews I make if you want, I guess??

I make new discoveries everyday..

Grillt cheese

I've spent a lot of my life depressed for reasons unrelated to my identity. Life has a unique talent for beating the unprepared harder, and while my lot was not the hardest, I was certainly ill fit to bear its weight. When I eventually dragged myself, cold and wet, from its grasp I found myself wishing to be numb again and wishing I knew what it was like to truly care about something.

In that vein, I've always had a fascination with love and romantic affection. A combination of being denied tenderness for the half of my life I could still remember and a genuine desire to study what I didn't understand left me with an insatiable desire to consume tender, romantic media.

The idea of the thing appealed to me like the willpower of a warrior training, or the righteous anger of a hero who has lost their home. Something that gave you just a taste of what they were feeling just by watching them feel it, but whose scale you probably could not emulate. Those emotions are for characters in stories, as fictional as the magics or demons they face.

Did you know that there are special nerves in your skin that are designed for social touch? They have a direct line to the serotonin response and take 3 real world seconds to get there. This is the nerve that causes/cures touch starvation, the reason why characters can feel the lips of a lovers kiss for seconds afterward as their lips tingle electrically, the reason why a character can be wrapped in a hug in shock for a few seconds before they break down crying in grief.

All of these I thought were artistic fiction. Like someone with aphantasia learning that others really do visualize things, or me realizing other people store memories in video. It also brought up a question I posed to my therapist: "why, if I've been without social contact for most of my life, am I not touch starved?'

She answered in two options:

1 - everyone is different, and some people have more or less of certain needs.

2 - how do you know you're not?

“PBJ & Jar of Milk” me, oil, 2022

One of the worst feelings in the world has to be the feeling like you've run out of what you love.

Like, genuinely, I think that one of the reasons I read webnovel so often is due to it's usually interminable lengths. As a genre, I'm not sure many things run much longer.

Like, don't get me wrong, I love the art form, but at a certain point all of the art that hits your sweet spot of like, 3 things you love, runs out. And then you move on to 2 things. 1 and a half. 1 thing. And you start expanding definitions but the love you had for the medium feels strained. You're not really getting what you wanted, and the new stuff isn't scratching your itches and isn't as well written.

It's depressing, and it happens anytime you find an art form. I remembered thinking 'i'll never run out of porn to my preference, it's the internet!' and that might've been true at the time, but over the years I've discovered more about myself and found interests I never knew I'd had. And I could never go back to not knowing it.

It's like eating food from a fairy court. People always talk about how it imposes a magical brand on your soul that assigns you to be owned by the court but I've never thought of it like that. I always figured it was just otherworldly cuisine, so mind-breakingly delicious that, assuming you don't fall apart right then and there, all food from the human world turns to ash in your mouth. nothing is sweet or savory or good any more, you're ruined and can never be who you were before.

So now that I've tasted the best that life has to offer, what point lies in eating another bite beyond base sustenance? A lot of the pornography and webnovel I consume nowadays feels like eating packing peanuts, lacking the punch and sweetness of earlier meals, only filling space. Novels that are just mindless fighting and static characters. Pornography that fulfills the basic requirements and nothing more. It's hard to live on knowing that the best of your hobbies is behind you.

Therein lies a crossroads many come to.

Become an artist and be the change you want to see in the world for people with your interests,

Or find something else to do while you wait for someone else to pick up that mantle.

and as someone without writing or illustrating skill or desire, that's a nauseating choice. You'll never be able to write a story you can read for the first time, and I think that's heartbreaking.

...

...Or I guess commission someone to make it but do I look like a STEM furry? ...don't answer that.

a few weeks ago I just discovered that banded amethysts exist, which are really pretty yk

again, quite pretty :D

Then I found this bowl:

Its a beautiful bowl, and i wouldn't usually use it for food

because it's perfect for holding all my fucks to give.