One Of The Worst Feelings In The World Has To Be The Feeling Like You've Run Out Of What You Love.

One of the worst feelings in the world has to be the feeling like you've run out of what you love.

Like, genuinely, I think that one of the reasons I read webnovel so often is due to it's usually interminable lengths. As a genre, I'm not sure many things run much longer.

Like, don't get me wrong, I love the art form, but at a certain point all of the art that hits your sweet spot of like, 3 things you love, runs out. And then you move on to 2 things. 1 and a half. 1 thing. And you start expanding definitions but the love you had for the medium feels strained. You're not really getting what you wanted, and the new stuff isn't scratching your itches and isn't as well written.

It's depressing, and it happens anytime you find an art form. I remembered thinking 'i'll never run out of porn to my preference, it's the internet!' and that might've been true at the time, but over the years I've discovered more about myself and found interests I never knew I'd had. And I could never go back to not knowing it.

It's like eating food from a fairy court. People always talk about how it imposes a magical brand on your soul that assigns you to be owned by the court but I've never thought of it like that. I always figured it was just otherworldly cuisine, so mind-breakingly delicious that, assuming you don't fall apart right then and there, all food from the human world turns to ash in your mouth. nothing is sweet or savory or good any more, you're ruined and can never be who you were before.

So now that I've tasted the best that life has to offer, what point lies in eating another bite beyond base sustenance? A lot of the pornography and webnovel I consume nowadays feels like eating packing peanuts, lacking the punch and sweetness of earlier meals, only filling space. Novels that are just mindless fighting and static characters. Pornography that fulfills the basic requirements and nothing more. It's hard to live on knowing that the best of your hobbies is behind you.

Therein lies a crossroads many come to.

Become an artist and be the change you want to see in the world for people with your interests,

Or find something else to do while you wait for someone else to pick up that mantle.

and as someone without writing or illustrating skill or desire, that's a nauseating choice. You'll never be able to write a story you can read for the first time, and I think that's heartbreaking.

...

...Or I guess commission someone to make it but do I look like a STEM furry? ...don't answer that.