Today Is Judgment Day. My Appointment Is In Like 40 Minutes. Totally Not Freaking Out.

I can’t tell if I want to change my name because I hate my old one, if I’m questions my gender again, or if there’s a new alter who needs a name.

-Apollo (for now)

That feeling when you tell a guy you like him and not only does he like you too but when you tell him about your system he starts asking respectful questions to better understand and even takes notes on what to do more research on.

I’m going to cry /pos

To the hosts out there reading, this post is for you!

You're doing god's work (for your sys) and i applaud you for that as this role takes a lot of responsibility and out-time longer than any other parts in the system. I do admit it's hard to be one, and i do understand your inner struggles.. which is why i'm going to talk about this topic: deeply rooted sense of denial.

Yes, there's a lot of validating posts out there which is why i decided to join in and give my own pov in purpose of covering more stuffs than other people had done. Those things won’t be repeated here, fyi.

Q: Why do hosts tend to have more denial than others?

A: Actually, its not the type of role that guarantees you into having more denial compared to different parts, everyone can have it, in varying degrees. This is more about HOW hosts can have higher amounts of denial.

Q: But what's making them having denial, what's your "how"?

A: They're the one being outside most of the time and usually busy functioning in real life which leaves little to no room for attention to notice other parts roaming around or see the innerworld. They may subconsciously feel they are more "real" than other parts as the rest don't get the same chance to be out like hosts.

It can also stem from self doubt or imposter syndrome,, but generally from the discovery of being a system after a long time of living without knowing it, sometimes accepting a change or realization is already hard by itself. Lack of proof to validate the condition also works, because hosts usually got hidden away from traumatic memories which creates an assumption of not being “too bad” to have one.

Q: If someone feels the denial/doubt, what should be done?

A: Only being told “that’s denial” won’t actually solve the problem, other than proofs of not being aware of time gaps and ‘less bad’ memories it still feels a pretty weak answer. So, some questions that will work better are:

“Why do you think you can’t be a system?”

”Are you aware of any hazy or blurry memories of your life? What is the reason for it to happen?”

”In denial, have you ever thought of trying to find some clues and take account and think of it rather dismissing it right away?”

”how do you currently feel when you’re questioning the existence of other parts?” (This is for self awareness and managing panic before it spirals)

“Is there any other way to describe your situation?”

“Do you think the experiences you’ve seen in yourself is equivalent what a system looks like? (using other’s experiences can work)”

I have made a dedicated post on handling this so if you’d like to educate yourselves or see the solutions, click here. Another thing that i want to say is to be transparent with each other and communicate in a 2-way,, nothing will get solved if things are always kept away from each other.

One last thing i’d want to tell to all the hosts out there is that they deserve a break, a time out from the world. Nothing will go wrong,, no, your other parts are capable and responsible enough to cover for you when you’re resting. I really advice to anyone reading this that being burnt out and pushing against it is never good,, what do you get out of it? Just extra debt of depleted energy and even more problems be it cognitively or emotionally, only you know.

so please take care of yourselves, you’re the most important role when it comes to creating a functional life outside for your system, so you should take proper breaks keep your best condition to work too <3

- j

Tip for any gender-queer or non-conforming people out there: Know the law.

Doesn't matter how cis you are, anyone who doesn't immediately fit the absurd and convoluted way the right thinks we should look/dress/walk/speak is at risk for harassment and hate crimes just for existing.

Do your research and know your regions laws on bathrooms, the use of preferred names, what counts as trespassing, and anything else that you might be told you're doing illegally. Know what protects you in what contexts and don't break those laws if you don't have to or are not intentionally taking a stance.

When harrassed know what you are allowed to do or say and give them NO reason to take action. They won't care what the law actually says but if you know it and have your receipts at very least you shouldn't be persecuted of anything. The people doing the harassing are usually breaking the law themselves and if they try to take action you can use that to protect yourself.

Don't give anyone a reason to be aggressive or violent, and don't ever do something you could get in legal trouble for. As soon as you give them something to use they will take full advantage of it and nothing else will be relevant. The right doesn't respect differing view points and fighting with morals will get you nowhere. But the have most of the systematic power, and some will violate every law they can as long as no one stops them. Knowing what they can and can't do is sometimes all you need to protect yourself. Being able to challenge corruption because you can label it as such takes away their advantage of trusting you can't call out their bullshit.

Be safe. Educate yourself. Don't do anything that will put you in danger if you don't need to. We can't fight a war on hate without at least showing how powerful peace and cooperation can be.

Don't give them a viable reason to go after you. Because they will if they have one.

This is very true, though I would like to add that you don’t have to have DID for your symptoms to be valid. You can still feel things and have symptoms even if they don’t fit the diagnostic criteria. Does that mean you have DID? No. But you are still entitled to your emotions and feelings, especially if those feelings are a result of trauma.

Does anyone realize that the "everyone is valid" thing has actual diagnostic implications?

Yes, every case of DID will have differences from another. But all DID cases must meet diagnostic criteria in order to actually be DID. You can't say "everyone is valid" and "DID can look like anything" because really, it can't. At the end of the day, there are still diagnostic criteria that must be met. If anything goes and anything is valid and anything can be DID, then DID is nothing and we might as well not even classify it as a disorder at all.

Same thing as people who say that "everyone has a little bit of DID" or "everyone has parts". Yes, you act differently at work than you do at home. This does not mean that you have dissociated parts of a fragmented self, and if it did, then DID would be a redundant diagnosis and there would be no need to have it in the ICD or DSM if "everyone" had it.

That system feeling when you’re an alter with a popular source and you don’t tell people and go by a name that isn’t actually yours so that no one can judge you for existing or the host for splitting you.

-Angelo

I hate constantly having to mask our identity to the point of forgetting who we are. It sucks

- Be

Okay, hear me out.

Maybe excluding people can be a good thing?

NOT ALL THE TIME FOR ANY STUPID REASON!! THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO EXCLUDE OR HATE ANYONE FOR ANY REASON CAUSE YOU DONT LIKE/UNDERSTAND THEM!!

I’m just saying, there’s a reason they don’t let non addicts into recovery meetings (except for therapists)

There’s a reason they separate grades by age

There’s a reason I don’t like posts saying that no one should ever be excluded, because that denies the fact that people are complex, imperfect, and that they vary dramatically. There are allowed to be spaces for specific people to feel safe.

I understand that the whole world shouldn’t be this way. But I want to hear anything about why my blog has to be tolerant of anything. This includes but is not limited to:

-Hate and bigotry of any kind

-Political beliefs

-Your stance on syscourse

That’s literally it. Now that doesn’t mean that I’m not willing to hear anyone out. But I reserve the right to block anyone I please, because I want this blog to be a safe space for people like me.

Do you want this power? Great. Make your own blog and block whoever the fuck you choose. But this one’s mine.

It’s okay to put boundaries down with people who make you uncomfortable, the same way it’s okay to tell someone they haven’t experienced the same thing as you and because of that they aren’t allowed in your safe space.

It’s okay to be a bit selective of those you tolerate for your and others safety.

But before I go I repeat

THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO EXCLUDE OR HATE ANYONE FOR ANY REASON CAUSE YOU DONT LIKE/UNDERSTAND THEM!!

Anyways, I’ll be up for a while if you want to tell me off

Night -be/apollo

Power trip: push someone’s buttons.

Ultimate power trip: push your own buttons

-this has been a PSA from God knows who I am.

Being an ADHD author is so counterproductive sometimes. You scroll back twenty chapters to make sure you’re consistent with details and suddenly it’s been two hours, it’s time to go to sleep, and you’ve only written two hundred words because you went back to checked a detail and never stopped reading.