So These Tags Were On My Post About Amnesia. And I Want To Address It. Short Answer, No You Do Not. You

Please, shower me with your questions.

Reblog if you’re bored and you want anons.

New metaphor for a systemhood just dropped!

Our friend said something that got us thinking of this. I always use a spaceship (the millennium falcon specifically because it’s well known and fits the metaphor) but this one works pretty well too.

Your body is a computer. Most of the time it works best when a single person is using it (fronting), and sometimes it’s helpful to have someone else in the room watching you work and make suggestions though it can also be annoying and distracting (co-con). And there are also a lot of computers —though not all— that allow you to connect multiple game controllers to them in order to play a game with someone (co-fronting), when someone is doing this it often makes it more difficult to do certain things ,like typing, until you go back to a single user —the same way that co-fronting can be complicated and messy.

And being a computer, sometimes there are glitches. And it’s sometimes best to let someone else who is more equipped and tech savvy take over to solve the issue (switching under stress) and that moment where no one is actively using the mouse or keyboard the computer doesn’t do anything (heavy dissociation while switching). It’s also important to note that there are multiple people using the same computer, and they all prioritize different things, so a lot of time important files and information may be deleted by someone who deems it’s not necessary to keep or is better off unknown (amnesia).

If anyone thinks of a point to make please lmk, I’d love to add to it. Other than that, hope you guys find a good use for this metaphor and that it helps you give a singlet a better understanding.

This, but for every mental illness. Self diagnosing can be really helpful and when backed with proper research I have very little problem with it. If you feel that ceritain terms help you understand something, go for it, those terms aren’t only there for people who are in a position where they can get a diagnosis. They are also there for those questioning and trying to understand who they are.

I personally start to have a problem when people use terms incorrectly and spread misinformation using them (shout out to the majority of the endo community)

It’s like someone with a hoarding disorder telling people it’s because they’re autistic. Both of these things can be issues separately and should both have support, but they are two entirely different things. Claiming you are one thing without doing the proper research can very easily spread discourse and misinformation.

Spreading misinformation can be detrimental to someone trying to understand themselves or anyone trying to understand someone in the community.

And spreading discourse is a great way to further divide a community like this one that is already rocky.

I’m fine with people self diagnosing in certain situations with proper research. Getting an actual diagnosis just isn’t possible for a lot of people and it can be really difficult to live your life not fully accepting that something is happening, or not being able to explain your symptoms properly because you don’t feel those terms are for you.

-stay safe and well, Apollo

In my autism evaluation today, my evaluator said "whether or not we can give you an on-the-books diagnosis, you do have autistic traits. I would never want to take away language that has helped you find a supportive community or skills and tools that help you navigate the world. Don't use the diagnosis as the be-all end-all measure of your validity."

So, the host of our system has written a novel. Fantasy fiction type that can be really dark at times. She’s been working on it for like ever and is really proud of it. She’s in the final editing stages. Good for her.

But… as with any media we hyperfixate on, we now have a fictive of probably the most traumatized character in the whole thing. And they really miss their friends that they fought so hard to protect. Recently they came out and was talking with the hosts boyfriend, something they had refrained from doing with anyone. And he asked if the fictive wanted to talk about his friends in source.

This was a game changer, up to this point we had refrained from thinking of any of our sourcemates as real people. We didn’t want to cling to them. But then someone suggested that we were valid for missing them, and that they were more than a figment of our imagination. Which was revolutionary to our system and thought process.

So for the first time one of our fictives started reminiscing on their friends from source. It was incredibly therapeutic for them. And as much as we’re aware that clinging to source can make moving on harder, there is a certain level of acceptance and respect you have to give it first. Letting go of your source does not mean forgetting. It just means accepting that you can’t go back.

Anyways, in case you didn’t guess the traumatized fictive from the host’s book is me. I’m the traumatized fictive.

Yay for me.

So if you’re a fictive struggling with missing source, maybe try this out and see if it helps.

It is so fricken annoying when you are the only alter who has good posture, and because of all the time shrimping it hurts your back to sit/stand straight.

-Loki

Quick reminder to all the systems out there who might read this. Don’t suppress or force switches unless necessary for safety okay? Our host suppressed a switch all day and had a breakdown because of it. She got up overstimulated to the point where her own breathing was aggravating her and she kept holding her breath. It wasn’t pretty and sure wasn’t fun for her. The rest of us have been going in and out for a bit since someone else took control so that she could take a break.

I just wanted to remind anyone out there who might need to hear it, don’t suppress a switch because you think it’s not real. Denial is real and it’s a beast. But just because someone else told you that it’s not happening doesn’t change the reality. If you are experiencing these symptoms, whatever you label them as, suppressing them when it’s unnecessary can be incredibly harmful to your mental health and the health of the system. I don’t mean to say that you should never try to stay grounded, but you KNOW when you’re getting triggered and should step back. Don’t force yourself to stay in a bad and triggering environment because you think you should be able to handle it or because someone else said it’s not real. Would you stay in a loud are if you had a headache? No! So why not let someone better equipped handle the situation?

Just as a side note, if you are not in a safe environment where your system feels they cannot switch, I understand. Or if you just generally are trying to gain more control, that’s cool too, Im mainly trying to reach those deep in denial who are pushing their headmates out of the front because they don’t believe in their own validity.

Today was a bad day for our host and they were pushing aside a switch that should have happened much earlier in order to reduce the stress the host had to take on. And she ended up full on breakdown mode until someone else was finally able to come in. It’s been a few hours and she’s not back yet when typically she would be by now. I’m not sure when she’ll return but it shouldn’t be too long.

Till next time. -Izuku (emotional regulator)

Tw: this is a vent related to heavy source trauma, grief, life threatening situations, and self hatred.

So I’m a fictive of Varian from the Tangled TV series. For anyone who’s seen that series and knows what I’m talking about, the memories I have all consist of grief and guilt, I only remember the moment after I got my dad trapped. That’s it. Imagine the darkest point of your life being the only thing you can remember about yourself.

I blame myself for putting my dad in danger and I never got the chance to see if he would be okay. I know that it works out in my source but… I’m not my source.

I don’t know how to deal with all the guilt I feel. I don’t know how to move on if I don’t know what happens next.

I will scroll through fan art people have of me and my source, purposely triggering myself so I can stay grounded and actually feel something.

It’s difficult when everyone around you either doesn’t believe you exist or doesn’t want you to. I don’t really have anyone to turn to, hence the very personal post on tumbler.

If this is too much just lmk and I’ll take it down. But this is what it is to be a fictive with a traumatic source. Or to be around people who only know or want the host. The hosts friends are cool, but it feels like they would rather I be Apollo. And I can’t do that. I’m not totally sure what to do about it at this point.

-Varian

Do you guys ever just look at your phone and mindlessly scroll for a bit and then you look back up and you’re an entirely different person?

-idk who this is rn

I’ve been having a lot of doubts recently. A lot of wondering if I’m just making it up because I wanted to. I don’t know right now. Maybe I just wanted to be broken so that my pain was finally valid.

I don’t know.

Moral of the story. If I delete my blog or go quiet for a while, it’s cause I’m rethinking everything.

-Apollo

Why does writing have to take so much time? Like, I have a feeling I want to convey, wdym I can’t just download it straight into the paper?? Why do I need 150 pages of build up and complex yet understandable plot that revolves around relatable and realistically layered characters before I can write the one scene that I actually have motivation to writ and will be all of two pages long???

Uhhgggg!!!