I'm Still Not Over And Will Never Be Over Logan Practically Bounding And Slashing The Steel Door Down

the devil in the dark is a great episode for sooooo many reasons but something i particularly love is its characterization of kirk & spock, especially how the story juxtaposes their initial attitudes vs. their actions as well as juxtaposing them against one another. for most of the episode, kirk is very firmly situated in the command role: he’s laser-focused on his goal of eliminating whatever has been killing the miners. he has a plan & he sticks to it. he can’t afford to entertain ideas about capturing the creature for scientific study rather than killing it, because that introduces more risk to his crew. his mission is to protect as many lives as possible, full stop.

however, when he sees the horta in that cave, his first instinct isn’t to shoot. he’s wary of course, brandishing a phaser for his own safety, but he’s also curious & gentle. he studies her with wonder shining in his eyes. his movements mirror her own—he immediately picks up on the fact that she isn’t necessarily hostile towards him, & in response, he slowly, carefully, sets aside his own hostility as well. he speaks to her, makes little jokes. he watches her in perpetual amazement & intrigue, very cautiously extending a metaphorical hand to say, i don’t want to hurt you. it’s a big leap from “your orders are shoot to kill,” & that reveals a lot about kirk. he’s a good commander, he knows how to handle a dangerous situation while minimizing risk to his crew, but he’s also curious. kind. optimistic. gentle. in the heat of the moment, when he’s the only one at risk, his basic instinct doesn’t say fight, it says listen.

meanwhile, spock is immensely intrigued by the horta; he regrets that it will most likely be necessary to kill her in order to protect themselves. he spends most of the episode speculating on the fascinating science of a silicone-based life form. he even (very subtly) challenges kirk’s order by telling the security team to capture the creature if possible. he isn’t eager to use force, because he simply isn’t that kind of person—he’s curious by nature, like kirk. so it seems a great shift when, upon hearing that the horta is near kirk, he shouts through the communicator, “kill it, captain! kill it!”

realizing that kirk is in danger is like flipping a switch. the way he carries himself changes in an instant. urgency flares to life in his eyes & voice. as wild with it as a vulcan can get. freezing in place, then breaking into a run, calling out, forgetting rank. to him, the most preferable—the most logical—course of action is not to explore why the horta has not attacked the captain yet; rather, it is to eliminate the threat to kirk as soon as possible.

in a way, they represent both a reversal & a mirror of each other in this episode. kirk is a decisive & capable fighter, but his instincts steer him towards gentler things. spock prioritizes scientific inquiry & discovery, but it all appears inconsequential when his friend’s life is on the line. they balance each other, complement each other. it’s why they’re such a good command team. it’s why they fall so easily into such a deep bond. both of them, ultimately, act from a place of love.

Everyone wants to talk about how they fucked in the Honda Odyssey, but I want to talk about the sloppy makeout they had after destroying the Time Ripper.

Like, I'm sorry but Wade and Logan had a little moment where they each tried to go in to spare the other, and then Logan was yelling for Wade to come back and that he's going to die while banging on the glass desperately??

Wade doing everything he can to keep Logan out of danger, while Logan is using all his strength to get to Wade!?? And them linking hands?? Logan losing his shirt and Wade approving of his abs and v-line.

You CANNOT tell me they didn't crawl out of the rubble into each other's arms and in the heat of the moment sloppily making out because they're both still alive and they're glad the other is alive.

They were committed in that moment and I'm so proud of them.

when people said they were married, it was an understatement

mr spock glows pink in the night in his room btw

SPOCK DOESNT LOOK LIKE SATAN WHY ARE THEY SO MEAN TO HIM LET ME THROUGH THE FUCKING SCREEN IM GONNA BEAT THEM UP

As @gunstreet once said, The Apple is Spock’s Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day.

when i read the song of achilles i was very surprised at how genuine and equally matched their love for each other was. there wasn’t any such thing as one being more in love than the other. i’ve become so accustomed to that trope, that i kept waiting for it to happen; but it never did. i’m so used to love being a miserable, painful, unrequited thing, i kept expecting the moment when finally their unconditional love reached its limit but it never fucking did.

there was never a moment that patroclus wouldn’t have died, fought, or killed for his lover. and never one moment where achilles wouldn’t do the same. it never mattered that achilles was aristos achaion, because patroclus was the world to him and never stopped being so.

we never had to watch them grow apart, or become bitter towards each other. it was all pure, faultless, unyielding love until the very end. they never had to yearn, they never had to doubt. patroclus agonized over the idea of one day losing his achilles, constantly worrying over him. and achilles completely wrecked with grief over losing his most beloved.

Thinking about that one post that was like

"Wade and logan spending multiple life times worth together, going through absolutely everything together to the point seperating them would just be plain cruel because of how soul tagged they are with each other and this just so happens to be the universe where they alone outlive everyone theyve ever known time and time again, so here they are, alone, but in each others arms in an old canadian moutian cabin, their front lawn looking like a grave yard with how many loved ones they kept with them. Theyre both old, wades wrinkles are just the light of this white manned beasts life and yet, they put collars on one another in the most caring and adoring way, caressing one anothers cheeks as Logan gives him not only the best 10 life times but also the gift no one else could bare to give him. Death. Unseathing his claws into his chest as quick as he can. And Wade to him, a knife stabbed critically. The best gift you can give your lover who can't die is the best life, yes, but a peaceful and coddled death is the ultimate goal. To lay there, bleeding out without a care in the world as Logan memorizes those pearl like eyes, and wade imprints the small smirk he has into his memory for eternity.'

And then someone reposted with two skeletons holding each other?

To that, I pitch after the last kiss Wade will ever give him, He smiles, because he knows he's made Wade as happy as humanily possible. Laying there for years or for hours, they're unsure. But they do know one thing.

"See ya at home, bub." He tells him with his last breath, an ungodly amount of blood gushing out the side of his mouth. But he's not sad. No, no neither of them are. They're relieved. Logans last act of service was bringing Wade Home. The place he never really felt right because he knew he was supposed to be dead by now.

And they'd find them in a week.

After the buzzards get loud.

After the insecets have made their claim.

After the foxes has had their taste.

After the raven has had it's say.

Id be home with you, I'd be home wih you.

Id be home with you.

I'd be Home

with

You.

my favourite thing about the perfect court is how they are all parallels of each other - each person could have ended up like one of the others, but they didn’t.

neil could’ve ended up like jean, if his mother hadn’t taken him and run. neil could’ve ended up like riko, if he’d internalised his father’s abuse and tried to earn his affection instead of fearing it. if he’d tried to become someone his father would be proud of - like riko does - he would’ve become heartlessly violent. but he doesn’t.

jean could’ve been like neil, if he’d had just one family member care about him enough to run. he could’ve ended up like kevin, if he’d gone with him when kevin ran. he could’ve been like riko, if he’d taken everything that had been done to him and inflicted it on the world/people around him, but he doesn’t.

kevin could’ve ended up like riko, if he’d twisted tetsuji’s abuse enough to believe that the things he deserved were taken from him. he could’ve ended up like jean, if he’d refused to run after his hand was broken.

riko could’ve ended up like any of them. if an adult had cared about him enough to save him, he could’ve ended up like neil. if he’d hated his father instead of fighting for his attention, or if he internalised the abuse he faced instead of inflicting the same abuse on others, he’d have been more like jean or neil. if he’d accepted his place and decided to fight for the things he did have - exy, kevin - he’d have been more like kevin. but he doesn’t.

yes, their situations are largely shaped by the people around them - riko, jean, and kevin (until he learns about wymack) do not have an adult in their lives that cares about them enough to change their situation. but it’s also their individual responses to their abuse that shapes how they act. i’m not trying to say that people get to choose their trauma response, but it’s important that riko and neil parallel each other because we’re shown the could have beens. it shows you that it really only takes one person to change everything - mary taking neil and running is so so so important for how neil’s character and personality and trauma response turns out.

neil could’ve ended up like riko, but he doesn’t. riko could’ve ended up like neil, but he doesn’t.

The way Neil Josten switched into Nathaniel in order to process and handle the abuse and trauma of being found by his father's people and the reality of his looming death will never not fuck me up, he literally said I can't handle this but maybe the Butcher's son could. And then. And then!! The way those two versions of himself coalesce into Neil Abram Josten (legally recognised) after Nathan is dead and the truth is out? The Neil Josten we see in The Sunshine Court has all of the attachments of Neil Josten, the slow unraveling of family and care but all of the hard edges of Nathaniel, unflinching from the reality of the world he lives in and the decisions he has to make to keep his life. Nathaniel would never have stuck around long enough to care about Jean Moreau and call a hit out on his abuser. Neil would never have trusted those resources available to him (or potentially the trail it could leave) in order to deal with the problem in one brutal but efficient move. But Neil Abram Josten reforged could, would and did.