It's Always So Fascinating And Heartbreaking When A Character In A Story Is Simultaneously Idolized And

still cannot believe Star Trek canonically made an episode where the plot was ‘Spock goes into heat and is going to die unless he has sex but then he rolls around on the ground with Kirk and pins him down and chokes him and after that he’s fine". 

Also this episode establishes that touching and sharing thoughts is so intimate that it is used to seal an arranged marriage pact…in the same episode where in an earlier scene Kirk just casually grabs Spock’s hand and Spock seems cool with it. 

Oh. And ALSO. After Spock has explained to Kirk that he is in heat and needs to have sex or die he’s all “Captain, there is a thing that happens to Vulcans at this time. Almost an insanity, which you would no doubt find distasteful.“ And Kirk’s response is to kind of raise an eyebrow and say “Will I?” in a way that suggests very much the opposite.

I just. This show was something else huh. No wonder it manifested modern fandom and fanfiction culture. 

first time i watched tos i felt that kirk was subtly but ardently wooing spock over the course of the five year mission and that spock was gay but kinda didnt get it. but after rewatching the ‘a certain inefficiency’ scene ive decided i was wrong. kirk and spock ARE flirting reciprocally on the fucking bridge no less, and bones mccoy has suffered more than god

just finished city on the edge of forever and i know we all talk about "by his side, as you always have been and always will be" yeah yeah yeah i too choked on raw yearning when she said that but

EVEN WHEN HE DOESN'T SAY IT, HE DOES?

insane. it's about captain but also about love. this line is the original version of "officer when he's angry with you and detective when he's not" -- love, as loyalty or devotion or service or care or effort or any of the numerous behaviors we come to associate with spock, underlies every instance he ever calls him captain, and here, we see with edith that he even means it when he doesn't. "if I let go of a hammer on a planet that has a positive gravity, I need not see it fall to know that it has in fact fallen" he need not even call him by name to know that everything he DOES is a revelation of care!!!!!!! calling him captain as a love confession, my god. who needs romance when we have duty.

hey hold on a sec. we talk about what baltimore was like for kevin, neil, andrew, but can we talk about wymack for a second. Can we just.

the year before the twins and nicky signed at psu, two of wymack's foxes, ian and kirk, died in a car crash.

the next year, kevin day broke his hand and went to wymack, the only person he thought would keep him safe.

the year after that, seth gordon, the only surving member of wymack's original lineup, overdosed after he was so nearly clean, and it almost destroyed allison.

months later, andrew was attacked in columbia and committed to easthaven. aaron killed someone. andrew was gone and the others came back shattered.

then neil claims to go home for the holidays, they don't hear from him all of christmas break, and on new years, neil calls him and asks wymack to pick him up from the airport. he's there instantly and god, he looks half-dead. neil sees the 4 tattoo and tries to cut it off his face. all he can say is that he didn't sign to the ravens.

then there's the blood in the locker room. wymack can't push away the feeling that something's getting closer, something is coming to hurt his foxes and there's nothing he can do to stop it.

then. the game at binghamton. neil looks on edge but wymack doesn't ask what's wrong. neil and andrew are above his paygrade. then the riot. he can't see any of his kids in the crush. he finally pulls them all out, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight–

neil's gone. neil's gone and they can't find him. andrew can't find him. neil got taken by someone. what was that like for david wymack? did it feel too familiar? did he look at his kids and think not again, i didn't lose another one again. does it ever scare him. does it terrify him. when aaron came back from the police station in columbia, twenty four hours in holding and he couldn't look wymack in the eye, did he think what if i can't save these kids? when andrew was lying in a hospital bed, too drugged to react, did he think what if i can't give them their second chance? when neil grabbed that knife, when he fell to pieces on wymack's kitchen floor, when he came back to them in baltimore, bloody and broken, did wymack think why am i always too late?

when people said they were married, it was an understatement

"Hold me like water. Or christ, hold me like a knife", he put it into words the need the human desperation to be held and chosen and wanted and just be in your lovers arms to be chosen either way to submit to them no matter how they want you, to choose it no matter what, as long as it's them, as long as they want you.

thinking about spock being too human for vulcan, and too vulcan for most humans... and then there's kirk who looks at him with huge homosexual eyes and trusts spock with his life time and time again. and compliments his mind. and compliments the glimpses of his emotions. THEY MAKE ME ILL!!!!

my favorite dune posts ever

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Kirk: You mean to tell me your people just walk into a disintegration machine when they're told to?

Don't make comparisons to Tarsus IV, don't make comparisons to Tarsus IV, don't make comparisons to Tarsus IV

Is this why Kirk is so instantly, adamantly, ready to disrupt this entire culture?

He's the survivor of a genocide, and I can't imagine that the thousands of people murdered by Kodos walked quietly, willingly, obediently to their deaths. Like those who walk into the disintegration machines, their deaths were painless, but they are all still dead.

And now Kirk is watching the same thing happen, only on a much larger scale. And it lacks the terror, the fighting, the starvation, the horrors that stain his early childhood, and because of that it continues.

No wonder he's almost gleeful when he threatens to give them the horrors of war - because he knows from personal experience that even the threat of that, even the memory of that, even the echo of what was or what might be - it's enough to make it stop.