Alovejr - ENFP | POV

Chapter 23 - The Achiever

So there I was, the night before my birthday at work, and one of my friends asks me, “was 22 a good year?” Immediately my first instinct is to make a slick comment, but then I thought to myself, “was it?” I realized in that moment all the things that made it great and what could have made it better. A large part of that is in following my dreams and committing to my own personal growth. I want so badly to be extraordinary, and during the year of 22 I was, but in very ordinary circumstances. Next July, I know that I will surpass who I was at 22, but be closer to the version of myself that far surpasses my wildest dreams. Set a goal. Work toward it. Accomplish. Repeat. I am an achiever, and today I celebrate all my past achievements and all of the progress I will achieve from this day forward. To this year of achievement. 23.

Teaser for my new web series!

Can You Feel Me?

In your arms, I am sure. In your letters, I am sure. In your presence, I am lost.

You are a stranger to me, and yet you say the sweetest things to me.  How can I trust you?  How can I trust a stranger who looks at me the way you do?  What is this question, burning behind my lips?  Why do my brows feel heavy when I look at you?  I wish you were  as captivated by me, as you are by them.  Is it your history, is that what it is?  Or is it that we haven’t climbed and fallen together?  Is it that we’ve not run off and created mischief together?  Do you even care about those things?  

Soul searching... I am searching for your soul.

I want to know you.  I want to know you will love me, the way I need you to love me.  Where is the fire?  Where is the passion?  Intimacy.  That’s it.  We rub and spark.  We kiss and we spark.  We touch and we spark.  We speak, but there’s nothing.  Our minds do not become interlaced with one another the way our legs do.  What is it?  How, is it?

I want to play... Be my playmate.  Please?

I am raw and hard next to you.  I look like an ax, next to you.  Where is your grit?  Dig deep into the earth and find your manhood.  Feel the strength and character grow in your hands.  Why?  Why would you, when you are decorated in the eyes of so many.  You look like privilege and sound like coins, but what is that smell?  O how you smell like struggle, and taste like secrecy.  Is that the issue?  Is it?

Over and under... Desperate to meet in the middle!

Why are we road blocked?  Why can we go no further?  Is it my familiarity in this realm and your avoidance of it?  What am I to you?  Partner?  Lover?  Mystery?  Fetish?  Entertainment?  What he fuck do you want from me?!  We are so far from each other in so many ways, how can we connect?  I will not press you.  Go, be merry and have the time of your life.  I have no desire to disrupt you. I only wish it was something we could share, but I am not so simple.  Do the pieces simply not fit?  Can they grow to fit?

In you it is easy... Out is so much harder.

Perhaps I am too big for your britches.

I pray for us.   I hope for us. I cry for me.

(4.28.16)

Here’s is the trailer for my new film “Expiration Date”! It’s a story about love in a way I feel we’re not used to seeing on screen. This is for us and by us! Enjoy!

A lot of people have hurt me. And sometimes I act like it. 🤷🏽‍♂️ Y’all let people get away with a lot worse.

Sick, but took 5 minutes to do this.