Currently In A Room With Both My Crushes And I Think My Heart's Gonna Stop Or Something

my english teacher just came up to my desk during the break to read the text i had written down and it starts with 'when my time comes..' and he just looked at me like 'wtf are you ok??'

i'm sorry sir i didn't mean to make you worried

James: Who ate my leftovers?!

Sirius: Who ate my brother’s ass?

James, blushing: ...Okay. *Leaves quickly*

It's April 1st y'all

The best day to talk to your crush tbh

Shoot your shot!!

You get a positive answer: congratulations, I'm happy for you :)

You get a negative answer: pretend it was a joke and it's all good, I'm sorry for you but no worries you'll be fine

Harry: I once thought Draco used to be an equestrian

Ron: Why?

Harry: Because he rides my di-

Ron: Nevermind! Don’t finish that sentence, EVER!

i spend my time telling my 'friends' that i have a lot of free time and i'd love to spend time with them and hang out and all

and then i spend my time seeing new posts on my feed where they're all together having parties or even just hanging out at one of their houses and they're all happy, saying how cool it is to be all together

and no one told me about it, no one thought about inviting me, no one remembers my very existence, and they won't mind talking about it while i'm here, it's just completely normal for them to cut me off their lives whenever they want to and pretend they don't mean it

thinking about the day someone will actually read my tumblr and find out it's about them-

i'll be so embarrassed and ashamed

every time someone seems to kinda appreciate me i get my hopes up and i suddenly start getting my shit together like i text them first and dress well and i make sure i look ok and my behavior is ok and i try to be as kind as possible.. until i realize i'm too kind to them and way too uninteresting for them to like me even a slight bit and when it hits me i have this huge wave of hatred covering me and i want to destroy stuff and i start being distant because i feel betrayed and i start gradually hating them and every time i think about my very existence i just feel so pathetic and i hate myself even more and- anyway this is the story of how no one's ever been interested in

please, don’t pretend to care about it. you made a mistake? it’s fine. you try to make up for it with excessive kindness, it only feels fake and awkward.

me taking forever to reply to both my crush and the toxic person i hate

might have gotten drunk and drawn my crush’s eye because tbh it’s one of his best features

and somehow my drunk ass managed to post it in my story and write that i have a crush on him and luckily i only used a song he likes to let him know it’s him i was talking about

now he’s either so dumb he didn’t realize (which he definitely isn’t) or he’s read all of it as usual and basically doesn’t give a fuck (which is actually good because it means it’s not a big deal, right??)

well at least he hasn’t blocked me (yet huh)