*gets Caught Pickpocketing Cos I Keep Saying ‘yoink’ Outloud When I Do It*

texts | palmer bros.

jason: for once i'm actually feeling kind of okay about my casting

jason: what about you? are you excited to play a witch?

nate: whew, i'm glad u feel that way!

nate: i was def ready to raise hell if you weren't cool w/ it. it's our last show, y'know? we should get what we DESERVE. but then again, i look at ppl like mathias & josie and i'm like .....yikes

nate: um HELL YEAH i am!! a crone who casts spells & cackles at people's misfortunes is in my top 5 other lives i'd like to live. you know this

zahramalik​:

LOCATION: fine arts building rehearsal hall TIME: after heidi’s announcement, before the auditions AVAILABILITY: closed @aldysfool​

“Bow, stubborn knees; and, heart with strings of steel, Be soft as sinews of the newborn babe. All may be well.”

Zahra ends Claudius’s monologue on her knees. She’d manage to run through it without forgetting her lines that time, but it wasn’t her strongest performance. Claudius’s guilt for murdering King Hamlet was hard to tap into, which was ironic, considering how Zahra had plenty to feel guilty about. 

After a beat, she smacks her hands on the top of her thighs and looks up at Nate expectantly. “It’s trite, isn’t it? I know it is.” Zahra groans reaches over to grab the copy of Hamlet beside her and flipped to the dog-eared page. “I know I can pull this off. It’s just… I feel like Heidi’s going to expect someone to do Claudius for Macbeth and I don’t want to be predictable.” 

She shuts the her book with a huff, clearly frustrated with herself. “Should we even keep trying? Or is Heidi going to take one look at us and make me Hecate and you the Porter?” It was harsh, but Zahra was in a limited supply of optimism after years of dealing with Orson. How could she be sure that Heidi was any different, or even willing to see her as a contender for the lead?

going through audition pieces with zahra was the best distraction, because to be honest, nate hadn’t done enough homework to decide on who he was auditioning for. in fact, a day or two prior to this, he’d joked to heidi about trying his hand in lighting or set design. needless to say, she didn’t find it funny. so there nate was, slow clapping to zahra’s performance of claudius and flipping through his copies of the bard’s four great tragedies with his feet propped up.  

“okay, now that’s just going way too far. first of all, even heidi knows the porter is too good of a scene stealer role for a third year, or even a second. plus, she might surprise us and decide to cut hecate altogether. i know i would,” nate smirks and shrugs as he flips through Othello. nate knows that the more he procrastinates the higher the chances he won’t get anything good. especially for a show like ‘beth. but nate ignores the thought, mostly because he doesn’t know how to process it just yet, and points at zahra.

“and while it might not mean much, i think you’d kill at this role, too. who’s your competition, you think? i could take ‘em out for you. .........like literally, i’d just throw them off by asking them out to a really fancy dinner.”

harryzhangs​:

location: campus, morning after cast list reveal closed to @aldysfool​

“nate?” harry calls out, squinting toward the figure walking toward the FAB just ahead of her. she power-walks a bit to catch up to him, figuring if they both have to be up this early to go to class, they might as well go together. “by the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes. wait, shit, is it even the first witch who says that?”

nate is strolling along towards the FAB, trying to decide if he wants to ditch class this morning when he hears his name being called. he grins at harry, but his mind blanks on the line, “oh fuck, i don’t actually know! damn, you found me out. i’m a bad actor.” nate slows his pace, ”but hey, good gentlewoman slash donalbain slash siward, congrats to you! how do you feel?” 

who the fuck swiped my capri-sun?, an intro.

hey all you cool cats & kittens, i hope you enjoy getting an abridged version of this lil’ shit. xoxo, gossip girl. (sorry, i re-watched the season finale the other night.)

STATS

name: nathaniel “nat(e)” palmer as the comic.

gender & pronouns: genderqueer & he/him.

age & date of birth: 22 & dec 2nd. (sagittarius, babyyyyy)

sexuality: pansexual

hometown: in ur heart

nate, a vine collection: yup, this one, uh huh, also this & one more! 

character parallels: phillip gallagher (shameless), donkey (shrek), jughead jones (exclusively archie comics), nathan young (misfits)

ABOUT

full app. |  pinterest.

alllllright, so nate was born with some hearing loss & just when the doctors thought he was going to live a life of rapid hearing loss, his adopted parents swooped in & turned all that shit around for him. in those early days especially, he was so obsessed with being all of what they could hope for and more, that he undoubtedly absorbed so much of their love & support in comparison to his brother.

but anywho, he had surgery for two cochlear implants before age 6, and it’s worked out for him, especially because he was (and still is) a quick study. kid’s got a knack for learning/adapting like nobody’s business. but hey, he’s a human - he’s bound to make mistakes and the expectations got so high that he got frustrated with himself and decided enough was ENOUGH. the golden shine he had was starting to wear off.

so, then’s there the Age of Ethan Crabgrass  - which yes, is someone from nate’s past that caused a lot of trouble for him - but honestly, the name is more of a representation for all the discrimination and bullshit nate had to fight against. and fight, he did. in a small literal way, but mostly in a social way. humor is his best and sharpest weapon, and he’s had lots of practice wielding it.

found theatre in one of those moments ya see on the movies where the character is walking by the auditorium and the magic of the stage just pulls them in (like glee omg). it’s also where he started drinking alcohol, smoking mary & juan, and exploring his gender/how he wants to present himself to the world. the love he felt there led him straight to alderidge.

so yes, he kinda blackmailed orson after he found out - through his connects in the art department - about the extent of orson’s drug habits & took this spicy info. straight to the source. i imagine their conversation left nate feeling like he was going to Soar in this dept. troil & cress gave him a little more to work with, but he was still hungry to do something different. but then orson dies, and nate has...lots of feelings.

speaking of which, he has a therapist he’s seen since first year, dr. june, but for the last month or two, he hasn’t spoken to her. he’s too busy doing more drugs, having lots of sex, and being a Shit. to sit down and unpack that entire night and what it means is something he is putting off until...? he’s not sure, tbh. orson’s death has him Shook.

aldy (as he fondly calls alderidge) has been some of the best years of nate’s life. which is probably why he’s trying his hardest to soak up every single moment while he still can. he knows he and the rest of his classmates might not be bffs after this is all said and done, but he wants to create some lasting memories (read: be more Annoying than usual this semester).

HEADCANONS

so i did this thing here that’s my interpretation of potential connections for nate to all of his peers. from the chameleon to the villian, nate’s thoughts about everyone is there! feel free to read & if you dig what he had to say, let me know! if you hate what he had to say, let me know! (if i don’t reach out first!)

fluent in ASL (let him teach you, it’s his favorite thing) & knows lots of bad words in different languages

gives “cute” nicknames to lots of things, because hey, words are hard and sometimes his mind runs faster than his mouth. there’s probably a dictionary of these words collected over the past few years. (e.g., supe effin awk, ors ho, cae sal, mary & juan)

wants the chance to be a Serious Actor, for once in his academic career. with orson dead, maybe that has a better chance to happen. and...if nate’s honest, he’s not as sad as he should be.

especially since he still has jason’s watch, nate’s spidey senses have been tinglin’. like, i imagine he’s gonna be nosy and want to figure out what the hell went down that night. not to snitch, but to protect whoever he can. if he can.

scenestlr​:

grace scoffs softly at his comment, “i’m not surprised you’d find it so boring. i still don’t know how the hell you got pandarus last semester.” the cast list came as a surprise for her, to see him in  such an important role in trolius and cressida. she didn’t care for that role, nor did she want to take it from him - but that very essence of knowing he didn’t deserve it struck her to her core. the very bitter and evil thought of maybe nate hooked up with orson like chandler did to get that role crosses her mind. grace lets that anger subside, just for a moment, as she hears his next question.

she presses her lips together, she’s used to his typical comments and jabs - just as he was hers, but that felt pointed. the whispers were one thing, but a direct accusation to murdering someone feels different. she holds little respect for how he gets his ways, on and off the stage. it’s a dirty move, something they shouldn’t be joking about. “you’d love that, wouldn’t you?” she forms her words carefully and malignantly. “i don’t have to prove my innocence to you, palmer.”

it’s always nice to know that while most things change, others would remain the exact same. for example, nate has done a lot of soul searching over the course of his twenty-two years — contrary to what he presents to most people, he’s done a lot of growing up; compared to grace, who, unfortunately looked like she was always gonna be hater. yikes. nate rolls his eyes at her comment about pandarus, but is satisfied that she’s still salty about it. point for him.

“well i hate to break it to ya, but you haven’t been proving much of anything to me in these past few years i’ve known you,” he cringes a little at the harshness, so he follows up, “...besides the fact that it’s clear to me and everybody else that you’re secretly in love with me, which honestly, i don’t blame you. but the whole ‘enemies to friends to lovers’ trope is kinda played out, don’t you think?” nate brings the joint back to his lips, and he hides his smirk behind the smoke. messing with grace was his favorite pastime, but there’s something about this night that has nate feeling particularly weird, so he keeps talking for no good reason.

“all i’m saying is, you don’t have to try so hard. especially since orson....y’know. bit the dust.”

pvlmer​:

the entire debacle that happened during the masque had jason a little shaken. of course, he knew he wasn’t a murderer. he didn’t actually kill orson and he didn’t even know who did. but he did know that what the mysterious person said had some truth to it. jason could’ve saved orson and he didn’t. whether that was the right or wrong decision was something that jason was still trying to figure out. of course, it was morally wrong to deny someone help when they’re begging for their life. but is it morally wrong if that person is a dick? the jury (jason) was still out on that one. 

it was a question that kept jason up at night. and specifically, it was the question that was keeping him up tonight. after the events, he fled to his room, wanting to be as far away from the refectory as possible. it was like the person screaming murderer was his own conscience, which just freaked him out a little too much. he was in his own world once he got back into his room, despite his roommate being there. it was like he was alone because everything just faded and he was left with just his thoughts. his mind started to wander and worry. not just about the night where he left orson for dead, but the other members of the program. as much as he felt like he didn’t belong with them, he couldn’t help but feel some sort of anxiety over whether they were okay or not. the anxiety was the worst when it came to his brother. as much as people talked about how theater kids became family, nate was his family.

just as he was thinking about nate, he heard a knocking on his door. he yawned. it was some ungodly hour in the morning, but god knows that jason didn’t sleep at all so it wasn’t like he was getting woken up. he stumbled towards the door, his movements slow and jagged as he was starting to have a migraine from the lack of sleep. he opened up the door to see nate and without thinking, jason pulls his brother in for a hug. “hey, are you okay?” he asks when he lets go of the embrace.

the door opens, and nate drops his phone in the process of hugging jason, because his brother is okay and that is enough to extinguish any fear in nate’s mind. when they hug, nate suddenly feels very stupid, because of course nothing bad has happened (yet), but he also realizes it’s kinda fucked up how triggered he was by the events from the ball. but the hug helps. the hug is warm and familiar and it’s exactly what nate needs right now. as they separate, nate starts to feel a little dejected, but jason asks him a question and he pulls himself out of it so quickly, it’s hardly noticeable.

“am i okay? uh, i don’t know jason, let’s see: pretty sure i sprained my ankle during the fight scene earlier, was accused of murdering our old director, went back to my room and realized i’m almost of happy pills which also stressed me out because my dealer says they won’t be back until next week, then i tried calling and texting you fifty million times; speaking of which, where the fuck is my—”, nate looks down and picks his phone off the floor, shoving it in his pocket. there’s another crack in the screen’s spider web and the battery life is at 3%, but what’s life without a lil’ danger? nate takes a breath. he can feel himself getting worked up and it’s too late (or early, technically) to take any more drugs. he sticks to a strict schedule.

“the point is, sweet brother o’ mine, i’m not doin’ so hot, but we gotta talk. like, now.” nate’s stomach grumbles, and he huffs. “also, i could really use a grilled cheese.”

what's your dream role?

“fuck me, this is a hard one. let’s keep this strictly shakespeare, ‘cause i could riff all day on contemporary theatre and how much tragicomedies speak to me on a spiritual level. so yeah, the dream role would have to go to everybody’s super problematic fave, iago. he’s an enigma of a character - with unpredictable emotions, motives, tactics, and some of the best soliloquys willy ever wrote. he’s fucked up in so many ways, and i wanna sink my teeth into him and take him on. i’ve been craving a puzzle.”

📱

What ringtone my muse has set for yours:

the palmer boys. (and yes, this is the ringtone.)

What contact photo my muse has set for yours:

What my muse thinks of the way yours texts:

i think nate probably wishes jason wasn’t so serious allllll the time, but he’s happy to hear from him either way.

How quickly my muse responds to your texts:

not gonna lie, nate might not respond as quickly because he’s trying to think of the best answer to come up with? 

How often our muses text:

before orson’s death, i think they spent a good amount of time w/ each other so there weren’t many texts exchanged. now, i think there’s some distance between them (so more texting is involved). and a good chunk of it is probably family related.

How often our muses call:

nate loves a video chat and he calls jason ALL the time when he can. i wanna say that he prefers that to texting because he can never get a good read on jason’s mood via texts. so he has to see his lil’ face.

Does my muse purposefully miss calls from yours:

before orson’s death, absolutely. things were fine. they were fine. there was no real reason to call him back, right? but these days, that’s definitely not the case. nate doesn’t know what jason might be calling him about. he answers before the first ring is done.

Last text(s) sent from my muse to yours:

[ sent, 8:48 p.m. ] : going on a donut run, wanna join? gotta feed the ladies and then heading that way.

[ sent, 8:49 p.m. ] : also yes, i’m still feeding those cats behind the FAB. they’re important to me, ok? trust me on this.

[ sent, 8:56 p.m. ] : omg pick up ur phone - there’s too many of them back here!!!! i’m trapped & scared!!!!!!!! SOS

[ sent, 10:00 a.m. ] : hey, this is ur weekly reminder that i love u very much, kiddo. i know i don’t say it all the time, but i’m proud of u. seriously. also, call mom back.

hudscnwilliams​:

hudson’s first love in life was reading. it was his safe haven, the thing he turned to when the rest of the world didn’t make any sense to him. books were an escape - and right now, that’s just what he needed. he was thrilled to be macbeth, of course, but he was still a bit stuck in his own head over jonah’s words. he knew he needed to let them go; they were the petty words of a jealous asshole who just wanted to make him miserable. and by being upset, hudson was letting jonah win. still, he needed some time to clear his head, and the best place to do that was the library. as he entered the room, he paused as books began falling all around nate. “shit,” he murmured, leaping to action and picking a few up off the ground. “you sure? that looked pretty rough.” hudson winced, putting a book back on the shelf. he wasn’t entirely sure how to act around nate these days; things were a bit strained. 

.

nate hears hudson before he sees him, and in this moment, he kinda wishes it was someone else who was there to witness his clumsiness. there were no hard feelings on nate’s part when it came to hudson, but yeah, they hadn’t been the closest of friends in a while. and for once, nate didn’t want to be the one to bring it up. instead, he did what he was always good at, which was redirecting. “seriously, i’m fine. but for you,” nate stands up to curtsy in hudson’s direction, “hail to thee, thane of glamis. a congratulations are in order.” nate puts the rest of the books back except for one and offers his most genuine smile, “you’re gonna kill it, obviously.” nate moves to a nearby table where he’s set up, a small stack of books already there, each focused on the supernatural world. nate glances at hudson. “have you had a chance to celebrate yet?” as long as they kept the conversation light, this would be easy. right? 

.

where: the castle’s library; when: earlier in the week after the cast announcement; who: @hudscnwilliams​.

although the castle’s library wasn’t as expansive as the main one in alderidge hall, nate still found some good stuff. it had been a pretty long day even by a monday’s standards, and nate had waited all day to scour the library for non-Shakespearean references on witches in the 1600s. and if he was lucky, nate was hoping to find something that would resemble an actual spell, or at least ingredients for a potion. maybe he’d practice on his peers, y’know, totally as a joke — or method acting. there was a book he had climbed up to reach, but had misjudged its weight, so it slips out of his hands and brings down almost the whole row with it, a book knocking him in the head in the process. nate hops down and starts to pick things up off the ground. “...i’m okay! ....i think! ....if anyone cares!”