Harry: What Is Your Type Then?

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HAHAHA I NEEDED THIS

Hi! I've noticed a couple of times that you mention that you think Voldemort wants to emasculate Lucius and I wondered if you could explain why you think this?

because i've parsed the extremely subtle meaning behind him:

forcing lucius to hand over his phallus wand whipping out his own cock wand to measure it against lucius' appearing to find that his dick wand is longer, which he considers pleasing mocking lucius for losing the ability to sexually satisfy his wife assuming that he will receive voldemort's wand in return, when actually he is going to go wandless calling forth his enormous snake snake and stroking it while looking the wandless lucius directly in the eye telling lucius that he doesn't deserve a penis wand because he's so incompetent that all he's good for is being a eunuch staying in the house performing the domestic labour of looking after the dark lord's prisoners making clear to lucius [and the assembled group more widely] that he's fucked bellatrix and she loved it he's so important they worship him as a god while he treats their devotion with casual disdain informing lucius, his wife, and his sister-in-law that one of his wayward female relatives tonks has been banged by the enormous monster shaft of married a werewolf [which is also what happened when the sister of the woman he's failing to sexually satisfy andromeda was bouncing and moaning on it for married a mudblood] [which shows that the other two black sisters can't be satisfied by posh, pureblood men, proving that narcissa isn't satisfied by lucius either reflects badly on them] calling lucius' son and heir a homosexual babysitter and using lucius' dong wand to murder charity burbage, thus demonstrating his superior sexual prowess that he is so magnificent he can make any woman his whore produce powerful magic from any wand, while lucius can't

confused because

It's not like I'm falling in love, I just want ya

To do me no good

And you look like you could

Happee birthdae Harry!

I think it's time to fetch a midwife...

AND YOU LEFT JAMES OUT IF IT'S FOR HIM TO FAINT AGAIN!

Marauders playlist:

family hanging out <3

you’re a life saver ❤️

Do you have any eighth year drarry fic recs? I’m struggling to find any I haven’t already read!

eighth year drarry? yes of course

this is probably in my top five favourite drarry fic tropes so i’m always on the lookout for new fics to read! here are some of the notable ones i’ve read that aren’t the already super well known fics out there!

Smoke and Sweets by BiscuitBrunch

Draco spends his eighth year at Hogwarts under a study contract, working the Hospital Wing with Madam Pomfrey.

He should have foreseen how often that meant bumping into Harry Potter.

(In which a touch-starved Draco has a praise kink that Harry is delighted to indulge.)

Eager For The Sky by @oknowkiss

It was announced, just as the Triwizard Tournament had been, at the start of term feast.

A year-long, international Quidditch varsity match — the inaugural Wizarding Academy Cup.

In which Harry is Hogwarts' star Seeker, Draco is on the bench, and they both have a thing or two to learn about playing for the same team.

The July Tree by @oknowkiss

Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail… nor well-meaning friends, nor questionable communication skills, nor seven years of hating each other’s guts can keep Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy from falling in love.

OR: It’s Eighth Year, and Harry Potter has detention. What else is new? Well, since you asked: Greenhouse Four and the Tree of Life, for a start, and then there’s the new shared Eighth Year common room, and Harry’s sexuality, and these pesky dreams he keeps having about a blond man pushing him into things…

To Sleep, Perchance to Wake by shrugs

Harry sleeps through the first two months of eighth year. He wakes up for Mandy Brocklehurst's birthday party and finds his friends- and enemies- changed irreconcilably.

Nobody Pinch Me by @dracoladon @lazywonderlvnd

A mysteriously locked door keeps Harry and Draco trapped in the room where they're serving detention.

He Was A Skater Boy by @m0srael

Harry Potter intends to spend his eighth year at Hogwarts avoiding the endless stares, whispers, and nosy questions that never seem to leave him be. He wants nothing more than to hide in the quiet solitude of his dorm room, keep his head down, and wallow in his grief.

At least, that's his plan right up until the moment Draco Malfoy kick-flips his life upside down.

Tell Me Love Is Endless by alexmeg, RewriteParagraph

In an unfair world like this, sometimes people fall in love with their soulmates after they are dead.

Just like Draco Malfoy does.

To Serve Malfoy by VivacissimoVoce

Harry loses a wager with Draco, which means he must spend the summer at Malfoy Manor as Draco’s personal servant.

When I Put My Eyes On You by Zzzara

When a hero defeats a villain, there's supposed to be a happily-ever-after... but when did anything ever happen to Harry Potter the way it was supposed to? Having sacrificed himself to the greater good, Harry is left alone in the darkness, blindly groping for the shreds of the life he knew.

When the enemies meet, how is the story supposed to go, once they learn there's more to it than the eye can see?

A story of pain, hope and things we discover, once we stop looking for them with our eyes.

It’s No Great Mystery by agentmoppet

Who on earth decided that bringing back the Yule Ball for their eighth year would be a good idea? It feels like the worst day of Harry’s life, watching everyone get glammed up like the war never happened, like the last Triwizard Tournament wasn’t such a colossal failure.

And then it happens again. And again. And again.

Arms Wide Open: Hogwarts by Sita_Z

Harry did not expect his Eighth Year to involve any more investigations of abandoned bathrooms. Nor did he expect to come across Draco Malfoy there, alone, bleeding and in late-stage labor.

Tomarrymort time travel fix it / Redo

These are not time travel to the 1940s. I have another post for that. These are mostly Harry has a do-over/second chance at life.

✨ Do it Over / 51k / A depressed postwar Harry has taken

Death's hand, reunited with the horcrux he mourned, and traveled into his own past.

Now he wakes up on the morning of his eleventh birthday, ready to do things differently this time. He has no grand plans, just the instinct to be close to the man whose soul he shares.

✨ way down we go / 18k / Harry Potter discovers truths about Tom Riddle and Albus Dumbledore’s past, and he decides to enlist Ron and Hermione's help in travelling back in time to the 1930s and fixing what was broken before Tom can become the infamous Dark Lord.

But once he goes back in time, he can never return.

✨ The Darkening of Your Soul / 260k / Harry is betrayed. Harry gets a second chance to do it all over again.

There is just one catch. If Harry gets to keep his memories from his previous life, so does Voldemort.

✨ The only sound is the overflow / 53k / It was his second time dying. And soon after, it was his second time coming back to life.

Somehow, he was still alive.

And he was living his life all over again

✨ Harry Potter and the Greatest Show / 177k / The last real thing Harry remembers is standing across from Voldemort and watching the killing curse fly at his face.

Then he visited a fluffy white limbo that somewhat resembles King Cross Station and instead of choosing to move on or go back he does something else entirely.

And wakes up in his cupboard on the morning of Dudley's eleventh birthday.

Because that makes sense.

(No. No it doesn't.)

But Harry is going to roll with it anyway.

✨ Tip of Your Tongue / 78k / Getting grabbed around the ankle at the last second by a screaming Uncle Vernon? Not great.

Kicking Vernon in the face while Fred shouted, "Floor it!", thus resulting in the Dursley patriarch falling out a window?

Genuinely a top 10 moment in Harry's life.

After dying and being thrown back into his 11 year-old body with limited access to his memories from his past life, Harry's had to get by with only his ever-present sense of deja-vu to keep him from making the same choices (and mistakes) as he did before. But now that he's more connected than ever with his sixth-sense, the barriers that kept his past from him are breaking down. Dreams and visions are bombarding him more frequently, and just in time. The Chamber of Secrets has been opened, and as his deja-vu brain keeps saying, "It's not happening like it did last time.

✨ A Change of Fate / 183k / In which soulmates exist and Harry

Potter takes control of his own destiny, and Tom Riddle gets a chance he doesn't deserve.

Soulmates Time Travel AU that starts off in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows when Harry is at the white train station).

Or, in which Death hated the Epilogue and gives Harry a chance to claim his soulmate and fix this shit.

✨ Resurrect The Living / 100k / Circumstance makes Harry an offer he can't refuse.

"I can get you the Elixir of Life," Harry says. "But I need your help with something else."

"You," says Voldemort, cautious now, wary now that this confrontation hasn't gone at all like he expects, a little incredulous, "need Lord Voldemort to help you?"

Harry looks right past him for a second, jaw tense. "Yeah. You're the only one who can, apparently."

Amen

ron is a moral compass.

u cannot convince me that ron weasley isn’t a mother hen. because while hermione is a child prodigy, she’s breaking laws and committing war crimes half the time when it benefits her. and harry ‘i’m the Chosen One’ potter attracts danger like a flame would a moth.

so while they’re a duo of danger, there’s ron.

who grew up with siblings and spent a lot of his childhood making sure ginny didn’t get hurt playing in the mud.

who’s as nervous as Molly when Charlie works with the Dragons, and panics when Bill gets attacked by the werewolf.

who steals specific concoctions from the twins when they try to prank Percy because it could possibly harm him.

who wraps harry’s wounds when he gets hurt and is too tired to see madam pomphrey. who helps hermione understand why killing Rita in the jar wouldn’t help in the long run.

Ron Weasley, the worrier and moral compass of the Golden Trio. he doesn’t believe how many times he saved the wizardry world by simply being himself. and everyone at hogwarts but him can see it.

Second chapter is uuuuup ✨

My submission for the @tomarrybigbang of 2024. Thank you to all the mods that helped organize this fest 💕

Explicit, 4.4k, Chapter 1

Summary:

Harry Potter is done.

He's been in the past for months now, working undercover as a poorly paid waiter in The Lounge: Britain's magical elite's favorite restaurant. He's more than ready to wrap things up, get the fuck out of 1953 and hug his godson again.

Enter, Tom Riddle: Dark Lord in The Making and Arsehole Extraordinaire. (And owner of The Most Fuckable Mouth Harry's seen since his days of shameless debauchery he was young.)

Impulse control has never been a strong suit of his, and this mission is proving to be the most difficult one yet.

My parter for this fest was the talented @00queasy00, who did this beautiful art!