Dazai Chronicles Episode 3 Guys

I have a mouse plushie, y'know, the Mouse Wants a Cookie plush, hanging over my bed. I wrapped yarn around its neck, stitched it through its throat, and bound its arms behind his back, then tied him to the top of my window to hang over my bed as a sign of my hatred and wrath. I was 15 when I did this. I had a mental breakdown and thank God I didn't give in to the devil's whispers to kill myself and take my mom with me. I had struggled with suicidal thoughts before, around 7 to 8 years old, and my relationship with, honestly everyone, especially my mom did not help. I felt very misunderstood, weird, wrong, unwanted, and like I was a mistake, something not deserving of the title human because I lacked something, that something in question nobody would tell me about. I prayed only when I was asking to die, I cried at night, had episodes of depression, had spent a year or so forcing myself to never cry and denying myself the right to feel sad, bottled up all my emotions and confusion for my whole life, never had an outlet, and my only coping mechanism was to watch funny videos on youtube.

That was me. Not even a full year ago.

Ever since I accepted Jesus into my life and just surrendered it all to him, I've never had that rage since. I haven't cried at night, or had depressive episodes, or suicidal thoughts, and I would never want any harm to befall my mom. I feel like if I have feelings of sadness or anger, I can take it to God. I no longer feel inhuman and wrong, but valid and loved. My coping mechanism still inckudes funny videos, but also to pray and ask God for help.

God has protected and saved me in an unfathomable way, and I can testify that He works. I'm not a Christian because I was raised in the church. My whole life until a few months ago, I had never touched a bible, never fasted, never truly prayed, and didn't even care to believe, hoping I could be some magical exception. My parents took us to church, but never explained God's goodness, so we were blind to him, seeing him only as a religous figure we follow by tradition. I can testify to you because my faith is my own, and I am this way only because I have seen Him with my own eyes. Literally. I saw Him. I spoke to Him. I touched Him. I heard Him. Even after literally speaking to God, I didn't give myself to him. It took a year or so for that. I felt a pang one day in my soul that if I were to die that day, I would certaintly go to hell. It was like a punch to the stomach of loneliness. I knew what it was and it couldn't be mistaken for anything else. I was far from God and my soul was lonely for its creator. I had already been blessed in all that I did as a child, but afterward, I saw all his miracles in my life and noticed the good hand that feeds me. I am fullfilled and only in Christ do I feel content. I tried everything. I tried friends, family, social media, new looks, experimenting with my sexuality and orientation, self indulgance, and nothing worked. They were all temporary and made me feel worse in the longrun. Only in Jesus have I found peace even in a storm.

So try Him out! He works miracles, I promise.

I'm selfish, crude, rude, and abnoxious, disgusting, judgmental and all kinds of stupid; I make mistakes and lie about them, blame others and life; I sin and I hurt and I scream and I cry. I am no different from you in this regard. I am a human; I'm an idiot. We kind of all are. The only difference from me and Satan is that I know my sins; I give them to God and He takes them. He knows my sins, my pride, my hate. He takes them and kills them on a big cross shaped plank. I am a sinner, there is no confusion, questions or doubt. But He is my redeemer, my saviour, and it is only in Him that I am found.

(Didn't mean for this to turn into some poem, but it kind of started rhyming and I just went with it lol)

It's ok to say I don't know

I don't know. I don't know a lot of things and that's ok. Some things are meant to stay unknown and that is fine. I don't know why God let's people suffer. I could say it strengthens you. I could say it's part of a bigger plan that will do wonders for you or someone else down the line. I could say it's to show you a reality you were blind to prior. I could say He was testing you. But I don't know. There could be a number of reasons, but I don't know. Nobody knows. And we don't need to. We don't need to know why children die of cancer. We don't need to know why there is so much sickness. We don't need to know why there are drouts or floods, hunger or starvation. We just need to know one thing:

That God knows

And that's called faith

No, I Do Not Hate People and No I am Not Judging Them

God is my Icon. I aspire to be like him in all I can. That means I dislike sin. That means I am a disagreeable person. That means I express my faith even when I know you don't believe the same thing. But that also means that I love sinners. That also means that I must be humble. That also means that I do not judge. That also means that I love my enemies like myself. And I love myself very much. So no, just because I don't agree with you, doesn't mean I hate or even dislike you. Jesus' favorite people are sinners. And it's not like I havs no sins, so I have no room to judge you. When I point out a sin that offends, I'm not doing it to judge you, in fact, 9/10 I am guilty of the same sin at one point or another. I've lied, cheated, lusted, cursed, liked my own gender, ignored God, been quick to anger, been lazy, still am and I need to fix that, been a glutton, still am and need to fix that too but thank The Lord for high metabolism, disobeyed, been disrespectful, etc, just like the rest of you. So I don't look at an athiest, or a witch, or lgbtq+, or a satanist, or literally anyone and hate or judge them. I look at them, say wow, a person just like me who just hasn't found God for themselves yet. I pray one day they give their life to God, oh cool, they have pretty hair.

Just spreading the love man. If you take it as hate, I'm sorry, but I'm not changing anytime soon, soooo want some popcorn?

So with that said, I will repeat my main point cuz nobody read that I'm sure.

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▪︎ I am a christian and child of God

▪︎ That means I do not approve of sinful activities, no matter how harmless they seem

▪︎ I do not discriminate against unbelievers or sinniers

▪︎ I do not judge unbelievers or sinners

▪︎ I love unbelievers and sinners

▪︎ I AM a sinner (Though in God I am redeemed)

▪︎ I do not think of people any differently regardless of their beliefs

▪︎ I do not treat anybody different no matter their orientation, sexuality, hobbies, beliefs, religoun, etc

▪︎ I am not trying to offend people

▪︎ You can do whatever you want and I respect you and your freedom

▪︎ I love you

▪︎ God loves you

I can't be the only one who fangirls at the sight of a fellow christian bro.

I think I went insane. I...I must be. I made a seperate account last night to post art on, to make this channel consistant with the gospel...and I posted on it. I know I did. But now it' like it never existed. I can't find the art, or my account. The account comes off as unregistered and I'm tweaking. Did I go mental and dream me doing that? No, I couldn't have. I specifically remember being interupted while choosing what art to post when I was forced to buy groceries by my Dad....This is like a murder mystery case and I'm oddly intruiged and mildly annoyed.

These two make me wanna cry

Dog Han hehe

I call these the Dazai Chronicles lol

Also it won't make sense if you haven't seen ep 1 but what's going on is Junichiro and Dazai are pulling pranks on people. Sooo that's why there are 2.

I had 3 pairs of glasses and lost 2 and broke the 3rd. I have to leave for a cruise tommorow and I didn't know what to do. I'd have to tell my mom or hide it until after the cruise. I wanted to lie and hide it but I knew it would do me no good and God would rather me obey Him and tell the truth, even if I get in trouble. I was really scared and stressed but listened and told her anyway after praying to God about it. I asked Him to give me the courage to tell her and that he would soften her heart to the situation. And He did! My mom was already mad this morning so I was pretty scared to tell her. Plus she isn't known for patience. But she wasn't angry and just happy I told the truth sincerly. Jesus works

Jesus is God. That' confusing because how can he be God, the Holy Spirit, and Jesus at the same time? How can he be his own father? Well let me give you an analogy.

Think of a video game. For me, I've recently started talking about Jesus to people on Roblox. I myself am me, being my physical body. My roblox avatar is also me. And so is the voice people hear in voice chat. All of them are me, but they are not the same. Jesus is the same. He is like the avatar, God the physical body, and the Holy Spirit the voice.