@prokopetz Someone reposted this on one of those tik toks with the fake usernames.
Concept: a superhero whose civilian identity is five different people. Not like they’re a hive mind or they can duplicate themselves or anything – they’re just a group of five people who all have different powers but coincidentally wear roughly the same size costume, who’ve decided to team up and share the same heroic persona. As far as both the general public and the broader super-powered community know, they’re a single incredibly hard-working super with a bewildering variety of seemingly unrelated powers, except they only have access to any given power some of the time owing to complex criteria they refuse to adequately explain.
(Thus far they’ve been very careful to ensure that their heroic persona is never provably in two places at once, though honestly it’s only a matter of time; there’s some argument among the group whether to deal with that eventuality by coming clean, or by claiming that bilocation is also one of their powers.)
I think I read something like this once but I don’t remember what it was called, pretty sure it was a fic where Eddie was also a lab kid. It was really good. I’ll reblog once I find it.
Alternate timeline — El is found by the Munsons.
(I’m going with a headcanon i saw months ago on here suggesting that there would be no investigation at all cause Wayne would see people in suits on his doorstep, think they’re after Eddie and chase them off with a shotgun so they wouldn’t even bother coming back)
I feel like the manor was built ontop of Alfred’s territory and he made an agreement with the Wayne’s that he would let them keep the manor there and even take care of it and put it under his protection and make it a part of his territory in exchange for money.
And then he grew fond of the humans and has a similar relationship with them as most fae have with shiny things. He absolutely loves them and he’s always the first one who realizes that Bruce has adopted another child.
(Sorry if my English isn’t very good/hard to read, English is my third language and I don’t really know how commas work lol)
Wally: How old is Alfred?
Dick: Whoa, you can’t just ask things like that, man.
Wally: Oh, sorry. I just, he seems kinda old, you know?
Dick: I’m pretty sure he’s immortal.
Wally:
Wally: Yeah, that checks out.
Roy: Didn’t he fight in a war or something?
Dick: Yeah, I think he fought in the Battle of Hastings.
A little ways over
Bruce: So, are you going to correct them?
Alfred: You have yet to determine my age, Master Bruce, and if you think I will succumb to such measly attempts as this you are sorely mistaken.
testosterone should be neon green and glowing btw
This post is amazing
Steve Rogers except the serum made him super duper strong and incredible as always but his body stayed the same size.
For the origins of this joke and also to see a very good video that I highly recommend, please visit this link: https://youtu.be/rvUzuK0ygI4?si=VGbBFyO49rie930x
*everyone existing peacefully*
Meanwhile in Gryffindor tower:
Regulus: I HATE YOU
Lily: OH, WELL NEXT TIME DON’T STEAL MY MONOPOLY
Remus: Sirius, give Regulus your 200$, you landed on his property.
Sirius: NO! HE’S IN JAIL! I’M NOT GONNA GIVE MONEY TO A CRIMINAL
Regulus: THAT’S NOT HOW YOU PLAAAAY
Peter: James, why is Regulus screaming?
James: Shut the fuck up Peter, you don’t get to talk after stealing my last railroad.
Sirius: I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN
Regulus: ME TOO, YOU THINK I WANTED THIS
All: AAAAAAAAAHHH
That wasn’t even the first time, it wasn’t even the 150th time Dick called him dad, but Battinson still cries every time it happens because he’s just like that.
(Sorry if my English isn’t very good/hard to read, English is my third language and I don’t really know how commas work lol)
Clark Kent: you can’t just let this 8 year go out in the night and fight crime
Battinson on the verge of tears: that’s what I told him but he won’t listen to me
Robin! Dick gleefully: I am going to be just like my dad!
Battinson sobbing: Dad
But first, formatting and translation: the original swedish lyrics are in italics and the translations are written one line underneath [like this], a comma will usually signify the break between two lyrics that are right after each other. I will mostly be directly translating them from Swedish, so the syntax might not make a lot of sense.
Dom Andra [The Others]:
En pessimist i sitt livs form, Jag vädrar blod, det luktar sorg
[A pessimist in its life form, I despise blood, it smells like sorrow]
- Reggie and Remus
En utomjordings kärlekstörst, En undran vem som svek vem först?
[An aliens love thirst, a wonder of who let who down first?]
- literally everyone (probably not the alien part tho)
Och jag blir gärna en martyr, Vi behöver nog en ny
[And I’ll gladly become a martyr, we probably need a new one anyway]
- Regulus, but also everyone (other than Peter but it could still work from his own twisted perspective)
Och vi kommer inte längre, Vi är tillbaks på noll, Men ingen kommer sörja, Vi har spelat ut vår roll, Vi glömmer hela skiten, Det betyder ingenting, Vi skulle kommit längre, Men räckte inte till
[And we’re not getting any further, We’re back to zero, But no one’s gonna mourn, We’ve played out all our roles, We’ll forget the whole shit, It doesn’t mean anything, We would’ve gotten further, But it wasn’t enough]
- everyone, once they realized that the whole first war was pointless and that Dumblewhore was a manipulative cunt who used them.
And your old friend waits with the scythe in a swing and how you played when you were kids - Sirius when Bellatrix killed him because no matter what she did or how much he tried to deny it, she was still his cousin Trixie who he played with when they were kids and he still had somewhat loving memories of that, of her.
The sleep came and you were so right in time, the sleep came like tears against your screen, the sleep came like a right twisted opinion, but compared to dollars and yen death can easily become a joke - literally everyone
You’ve lost your war, you’re the last one left, and no one is coming to your defense (coming to your defense) so you stand in a salute with your back straight and you take 400 hits - Regulus realizing that no matter what he does he will never be good enough for his parents and that he should have just left with Sirius when he asked.
Den Döda Vinklen [The Dead Angle]: (the title of this song could be a reference to the whole album it’s from being from death’s POV or it could also be a reference to the blind spot in a car)
I was alone for a long time, an only child, the monster underneath a home built bunkbed - Remus (I want to hug him)
Give me a winter drug, give me all you’ve got. Come now I’m chronically low, the only thing that can be heard is the darkness - Remus after Halloween 1981 begging for Sirius to be innocent
In your eyes there was a storm I saw, like summer snow, from the dead angle/blind spot I see everything you do - Regulus’ ghost watching Sirius fuck up his entire life, eternally destined to facepalm so hard and so much that he would break his skull if he could.
And there they’re coming, I can see them between the trees. Please can you help me escape? - Regulus to Sirius and Sirius to James
(These lyrics are from Den Döda Vinklen [The Dead Angle], this could be a reference to the whole album it’s from being through the perspective of death or it could also be a reference to the blind spot in a car)
And everyone who’s ever loved you has hated me out of fear - wolfstar (this was somehow the only lyric from Palace & Main that worked and I don’t know how)
An icey wind over the water bears an echo from the world of the dead, a greeting from a jealously scornful ocean - Reggie, obviously (for like the fiftieth time because the whole Du & Jag Döden [You & Me Death] album is just incredibly Regulus coded)
And in the bars the wreaks cling tight we mourn a lost burden and the snow helps the debris fall down. Black branches obscure the white of the house, I haven’t been here since all of this was yours. - Remus talking to an imaginary version of Sirius after the first war ended.
Like a Romeo in jeans on your balcony (I want you, you’re mine, you’re only mine) I’m the shadow by your screen door once again (I want to have you, I’m yours, I’m only yours) - Sirius to Remus, either immediately after he escaped from prison or a bit after the prank (I like the first option much more because I don’t like the idea of the prank ever happening)
And your dress is like rags in my hands- Sirius when he found Lily
(All of the most recent lyrics are from Romeo Återvänder Ensam [Romeo Returns Alone])
And you and I hold our breath and hold hands in the leap, it’s not that long till we reach home, and even so there’s still a thousand tears left - Sirius and Regulus while running away together (I might be a bit delulu)
So don’t ever apologize again. And we’re finally passing their borders. Do you remember our blood oath, our law? Our idiotic crusade against an equally stupid town? I remember everything like nails to glass, but you just laugh at me and reduce everything to a joke, but I see in your pathetic demeanor and your hunting look that it feels like there’s still far to go to get home, and soon there won’t be any more tears left - also Sirius and Regulus running away together
And that boy I never knew, that roamed streets I never saw, thought thoughts I never thought, under a thin and frizzy haircut, as all the feelings struck and exploded during a time when nothing happened in a city that never slept, but we were all young once my love. Yes, we were all young once. Yes, we were all young once - Remus, Sirius and Regulus
And I’m scared out of my own life of living and I’m scared to death of dying, but we will all die one day my love. Yes, we will all die one day - Regulus and James
(These past lyrics are from Mannen I Den Vita Hatten (16 År Senare) [The Man In The White Hat (16 Years Later)].)