This Is A Really Old Kalim Analysis/hc Draft/drabble(??) - Blog Posts

im so mentally ill BUT I PROMISE I WONT RANT ONLY ABOUT THE SCARABIA DUO'S TRAUMA IN HERE..

... that being said... (god i'm awful)

Seeing that we see Jamil's childhood and all his memories of being told to be subordinate, it's safe to say that Jamil is less affected by dissociative amnesia, aka traumatic-memory-repressing.

However, does this mean that even though he probably has some repressed memories about his childhood and traumatic experiences, he also remembers some of them?

What if he's the only one who really knows what Kalim has been through? But because of their tragic relationship, he's unable to admit that he feels sorry for Kalim, because in some sense (THAT HE'S TECHNICALLY RIGHT ABOUT), Kalim is the reason for his trauma too.

Both him and Kalim were never able to have normal childhoods, but beyond normalizing this idea, they both struggle to accept the fact that they didn't have it worse than the other.

Kalim deals with this struggle more easily, as you see him developing these realizations through out the main story line, like in book 5 - 30. In fact, he almost immediately forgoes this idea after Jamil stops overblotting, offering Jamil a choice that takes his traumatic past into consideration, while allowing them to still continue a relationship of some sorts. Meanwhile, Jamil has had less/little development on this. He did have a really nice moment in book 5-10 talking to Azul, but other than that, I really haven't seen more moments of his development, which I find rather disappointing on twst's part. I'd really like a nice moment, whether between Jamil and someone else (like the MC), or maybe even between him and Kalim, where he does atleast acknowledge this idea (Kalim having trauma) without compromising the truth that he has also been wronged.

In the end, I doubt this will ever happen, but a girl can dream.. I atleast wish that the fans wouldn't make their relationship in the fandom competitive in regards to "who's-more-traumatized". This isn't a debate, there doesn't need to be a right answer.