Experience Tumblr Like Never Before
Polar Exploration - Blog Posts
first day as a 20th century polar explorer i’m selected to go on the super special sledging trip with my polycule but succumb to scurvy and my preexisting heart condition i will never tell anybody about and they have to carry me back to the ship. second day as a 20th century polar explorer the dominant member of my polycule convinces my favorite boyfriend to vote me out survivor-style and send me home on the invalid ship so i am now a bitter 27 year-old divorceé. third day as a 20th century polar explorer i’m begging wealthy widows for money but my evil gay kleptomaniac brother aids in the theft of the crown jewels of ireland and shames the family so nobody will give me a ship. fourth day as a 20th century polar explorer one of my benefactors makes me bring a huge fuckoff car to antarctica and i run out of space for food so all of my men almost starve and the car doesn’t even work. fifth day as a 20th century polar explorer my evil ex dies and i finally get to go back to the pole but my ship gets fucked and i have to spend 2 years dragging my men home and when i get back the royal geographical society are still publicly cucking me and nobody cares because of wwi. sixth day as a 20th century polar explorer i round up the boys for one last hurrah but die of that same preexisting condition before we can even get anywhere like a #boss. which is also what they call me.
