Kuroo X Reader - Blog Posts

An alternate universe

"i hope we are together in every universe"

the cold metal band was placed on my finger. he stared at the ring with teary eyes and then at me.

"i love you"

Haikyuu- Yamaguchi, Kuroo, Oikawa, Ushijima, Asahi, Semi, Suga, Hinata, Iwaizumi, Tendou, Bokuto, Akaashi, Shirabu, Daichi, Tsukishima, Kageyama, Suna, Atsumu, Osamu, Kita, and your favourites:)

a/n: ignore grammatical mistakes :), divider from pinterest.

would i still be your lover?

"do you think..... well..."

"what is it?"

"we'll be together in every life?"

I asked, laying on the couch. Legs on his lap, watching him solve the sudoku in his newspaper, glasses resting on the bridge of his nose as he would take a sip of his coffee, placing it back in the cup holder of the sofa every now and then.

he didn't respond and continued filling the grids.

I knew he heard me. and he knows it too.

"hmmm......."

I waited.

he filled the boxes of the last word, kept the newspaper aside on the coffee table, and stared at me. I couldn't decipher what he felt behind his eyes.

A shriek left from my vocal chords as he grabbed my ankle and pulled it towards him. He leaned closed, holding my face in his hands. our faces were a mere centimeters apart. I could feel his breath.

"yes. and if that doesn't happen, I'll make it happen in each and every life time that's ahead of us. I'll be with you even if we're sea horses in the oceans, or ladybugs in a garden. I'll find you."

Haikyuu: Keiji Akaashi, Hajime Iwaizumi, Suna Rintarou, Miya Osamu, Kuroo Tetsuro, Kei Tsukishima, Toru Oikawa, Kenjiro Shirabu, Kenji Futakuchi, Akira Kunimi. (and any of your faves)

a/n: ignore grammatical errors. divider: by @fairytopea banner credits to rightful pinterest owners

A mother day special for Parent AU! Haikyuu x readers pls😍🙏

Kuroo x fem reader x oikawa

Synopsis : After years spent by a certain setter along with a small toddler mending you heart, your life was a just like a blissful movie with a happy ending. But little did you know the person who gave you not only the worst years of your life but also the small ball of sunshine, decided to suddenly make a appearance in your fairytale when fate played a wild card.

READ THE NOTE 📝 : well kuroo got a lot of hate from the previous chapter which was a little bit deserved but he was also just much as in love with y/n, as y/n was with him. Also I wanted to show a y/n x oikawa scenario so there you go.

Previous | where it all went wrong | next

It was a summer noon— when you first met oikawa. Or what you thought was your first meeting to be more precise. You were sitting under a umbrella at the beach, all alone watching girls around your age enjoy their youth in bikinis where you were in some baggy clothes you found in Brazil. Atleast they looked cute.

Thoughts stammering your brain as the humid breeze was warming your skin. Unlike the cold wind in Japan which freezed your heart to not get broken anymore.

You wonder where it all went wrong? Maybe if you didn't approach the bright chemistry student you recognized from the grocery store you wouldn't be sitting at a beach party all alone at a foreign country. Maybe you wouldn't be worrying about how you will even pay your expenses while something or better someone was growing inside you. You wonder where it all went wrong that you have to cry yourself to sleep everyday because of a heartbreak from a person you could have given your life up for.

“What's a beautiful lady like you doing in those—" the sudden voice startled you, as you flinched due the stranger intruding you peaceful sulking session “–uh those questionable printed pajamas” the cheery voiced man questioned you, his eyes scanning or better judging your outfit as his figure blocked the rays of sunshine hitting your skin. But little did you already know that person was going to bring all the sunlight to your life.

You snapped your head upwards to meet the most beautiful shades of brown pair of eyes, eyes which were so different than those golden ones but with the same vibe, the same mishiveous and softness present in them.

"what do you mean questionably printed pajamas?" you scurred a little away from your mat laid on the sand while your eyes clearly checked him out. He was shirtless and God was not showing any mercy because if given a chance you would have liked to rub your face against those delicious looking abs—

Snap out it. Snap out of it

“by questionable I mean” the said boy squatted to meet your height. A black chain hanging on his chest, that decorated his defined collarbone. His hair looked so fluffy, they looked softer than the clouds floating in the sky and not to mention the natural pinkest tone of lips you have seen on a man. His body was built like a Greek God while his face could even make a woman jealous about how pretty it was.

He moved a little closer, his eye checking you from head to toe again and for a split second you bet his gaze stopped on your lips. “the egg plant sticking to the peach babe” he pointed his finger to the design on your full sleeves shirt.

He quirked his brow at the cohrent mumbles of words falling from your lips. He was too dazed by them to process the ‘you should be glad you are pretty’. The lips looked so tender, he wonder what It would feel like against his.

You glanced down to his pointed finger before squinting your eyes "no one" a whisper at first which made him look at your expression “NO ONE QUESTIONS MY FASHION SENSE” you yelled back at him with a expasreted expression, your eyebrows furrowed and lips formed in a frown. He would have said you looked cute if he wasnt intimidated by the yell.

Oikawa perhaps can be easily scared off but that doesn't apply when it is involving something that would hurt you. Emotionally or physically. So when he saw kuroo tetsurou at your little cafe that you both built together while he mended your heart he had to hold back himself with every ounce of strength left in his body to not go and punch his face.

The man before his eyes who now, even if looked vulnerable and paled, he could care any less. Because he saw you crying, Oikawa saw you all alone depressed with a wall built so high to not let anyone in your life.

And it took him years to climb up and make you love yourself first. Because he could care less about kuroo, especially when he saw you crave for something you couldn't have. Something you yearned so much but had to refrain yourself from trying to reach it.

He knew all too well how it felt to not feel the warmth and touch of the person someonr loved, when he was being friends with the most beautiful girl that he has ever seen and.

And he couldn't do anything about but just watch from afar— yearning for someone else just like you did. Maybe to some extent he can relate to kizumi— maybe to some extent he wanted to take you away from everyone else even if it meant he was selfish. So being friends with the person you loved was never easy. Especially not when it was being friends with the girl he fell harder for than the time he injured his knee no— than the time iwaizumi punched him in the stomach and pushed him into the pool.

“y/n- what—” the golden pair of eyes widened due to shock.

“kuroo you need to leave” you interrupted, your facial expression was crumbling slowly but your voice came out stern. No, you didn't want him to find out. Never, not like this atleast. He doesn't deserve to know. Or maybe he did? But you waited for him. Longer than the time he was supposed to have. He deserved to have.

"But y/n" that almost came out as a cry, pleading voice which sounds alike to the voice mails you sent him that day.

"Please" You begged looking at him, oikawa's hand gripping yours tightly, you were sure there would be a mark left but you couldn't be more grateful that he lets you talk, he supported you silently— the same way you wanted kuroo to when you stood alone in front of your parents. The thoughts of that day gives you shudder of the pain you suffered.

He sighed heavily, you looked so hurt and even if it has been over six years now, he could read your eyes just like the day he did first time when he met you at the grocery store for the first time. He remembered you looked so tired and the puffiness and red eyes was more than enough for him to guess you were crying. He didn't want a beautiful girl like you to be sad all by themselves, he remembers at that time even if you looked messy, he thought you were the prettiest girl he has ever seen in his entire 17 years of existence.

Kuroo also thinks back where it all wrong? that would he have been through less of a heartbreak, if he didn't cheer you up that day? Kuroo also thinks where he went wrong that the love his life leaves town, no— country suddenly without ever meeting him. Cause he knows he might have been the person who hurted you the most but he also knows nobody can love you like he did. So he smiles softly, looking into your anxious hurt eyes and back to the doe eyed boy who was looking at him intently too. Probably wondering why his mommy doesn't like the strange haired uncle. A sad chuckle escaping his mouth as he noticed the cute frown on kid's face, the frown seems similar to the one he saw on the old album of his childhood.

A knot continues to twist in his stomach as he left with a uncertainly feeling, heart clenched with tight lump on his throat barely helping him to breath. Guess the ring in his pocket wasn't going to be warm around someone's finger anytime soon. Guess the ring will stay again cold like it did for six heartbroken years.

"Goodmorning Mr l/n—"

"I don't want imbecile people like you knocking at my door. Leave before I call the cops" startled would have been a underestimated word to describe how shocked kuroo was by the sudden outburst. He knew your parents weren't fond of him but they never behaved disrespectful towards him.

"I don't understand what you meant" he asked shakily, watching the furious man infront of him take a deep sigh. "Where is y/n?" Kuroo still further continued

The older man quirked his brow at that, confusion dancing over his eyes a bit before the emotionaless facade doomed on his face again. "Doesn't she lives with you?" He asked nonchalantly, gritted teeth and squinted eyes as he turned to face kuroo better "and I could care less about that disgrace. She left yesterday evening only" with that the door was slammed on his face.

Yesterday evening? The hell did he mean. Kuroo's mind raced, it was raining and cold as heck yesterday and you weren't home. Did you get a cab atleast? You must be at your friend's right or called kenma. No he will call you once he reaches home.

Anxiousness bubbled in his stomach, he wanted to call you— and pick you up. He knows standing you up wasn't a option yesterday at all. But he was stuck at the shop, when the rain started, coincidentally his phone was dead that he couldn't even inform you that he will be unable to get to the dinner or unable to pick you up. He was going to surprise you. He was going to kneel down infront of you, infront of your parents and make you his for forever. Till death- no— till his soul diminishes into nothing he wanted to stay with you.

Since you were upset over him, he couldn't even get to start his plan— heck, all the while he was on his trip all he could think about is your lips against his, your soft fingers held tightly between his, your eyes locking with him accidentally and suddenly it was turning into a staring competition that he let's you win.

He has been thinking over it for months now, you were a year less than him in the university, meaning the job which is offered to him by the Japanese volleyball association can make him transfer to other side of Japan and you couldn't leave ofcourse. The hell he doesn't trust those college admirers of yours who he had been scaring off secretly with the help of bulky bokuto.

So that's why he bought the sapphire ring yesterday with all the savings he made over the years of university, kizumi was just supposed to help him choose a nice affordable shop, her getting hurt in the process and breaking his phone was not in the plan and neither was her friend shooting the video—

Nature was also playing a dirty trick on him after the vist to the clinic huh? He was held back my kizumi and her friend, they said it dangerous to go outside just yet and you will be alright in your parents classy house, they cared for you enough to not let you go home alone in that bad of weather right ?

Wrong.

He was now loosing his mind, after reckless driving to both of your shared apartment. The door was locked from outside meaning you didn't come home, he already called your friend's phone to ask them were you still living in their house? The answer was no. He texted every friend of yours in the city that he knew— but the same answer kept coming back. No one has heard from you.

He quickly opened the apartment door, hastily searching for any sign of you in the rooms but even the smell of sweetness of yours wasn't there. Its just like he left yesterday noon, shirts scattered over the bed which he piled up in bed while trying to find the black shirt you gifted him after getting your first pay.

Just to add every piece of thing to the day that made him love you more, the roses he forgot to take before living now were staled over the dinning table.

"Kuroo?"

His head immediately turned back, hoping to meet your beautiful face, a small twinkle of hope in his eyes that you were okay. That were still there with him. Still with him.

But he was rather met with a familiar slender pair of eyes, neat and clean hair as always the girl had— they were nothing like the messy hair your have in the morning which makes you look more cuter he thinks. Unlike you who hated them.

But it was tiny litte messy things you did kuroo liked, like the way you try to fix his hair which somehow ends up the same, the way you try to pack him a healthy lunch whenever you don't have morning class— though if he was honest it wasn't the best presentable bento but it tasted so good, and the small cupcake made up for the messiness. Right? You always told him that when he teased you about your bentos.

"Are you okay? You look pale" two pair of heels clicked inside the room, the sound echoing as slim fingers with trimmed nails held his arms tightly.

He didn't like her too sweet scent, it was almost like sourness hidden in the sweet smell which made him wanna gag. His facial expression changing to a irritated one as his hands tried to untangle himself from the girl infront of him.

"m'fine" he moved back a little, eyes not meeting hers, he has been avoiding any close contact with kizumi since the trip of his last semester because you didn't like it and what if you walked in right now and saw him in that girl's arms. He doesn't wanna make you feel bad or not good enough about yourself. Again.

"No you are not" the cold manicured hands cupped his face, making them look into the green eyes of hers, quite similar to the snakes he heard who were fake. She inched closer, her breath fanning over his lips. Kuroo was uncomfortable— no he didn't like this, sweats forming on his palm, he could feel the pressure on his blood increasing. He was sick of kizumi's touches.

"kizumi for God sake! Can you please stop touching me" a loud yell, followed with a silent and a shocked paired of eyes. Mouth agape as the woman's body filled with shame.

Kuroo meeting the vulnerable and defeated eyes of the fair girl reminded him of yours. Did he hurt another person again? A friend who was always beside him when he needed. Shit he regretted yelling. He could have asked for space instead.

"I-" he paused, his hands gripping his hair frustratedly. "Kizumi I am sorry I didn't mean that" his voice cracked, body weight dropping, slowly kneeling on the floor.

"It's just I am worried sick about y/n. She didn't— she didn't come home or neither is at any of her friend's house"

The figure infront of him knelt down too, hesitant hands now trying to wrap around the black haired male to give him a hug, to feel his warmth.

"I am sure she is fine— maybe she stopped at a hotel or took a cab?"

"I heard the voice messages"

He looked up at the ceiling, his eyes looked teary but still dry like his life has been sucked out of him.

"What?" the firm spoken girl inquired, shifting a little.

Shaky hands moving into his jacket pocket, as he took out his phone. Typing in your birthday date to unlock his phone, a chat popped up on the screen, he pushed the phone in the hands of the green eyed girl, kuroo could have bet he saw kizumi's eyes twinkle for a moment after reading the last message before the 'this user has blocked you' was shining on the screen.

I am sorry I don't think I can do this anymore. Goodbye I love you.

Dm me for the ending :)

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@kuroosbby001 @weyheyavengers @macky-attoh @belle643 @on-crows-wings @peg-ryo @sakaki-chaaaaannn @thebeckygirl @cleocleo69 @kurooloveschurroo @freddiemylovelg

Kuroo x fem reader x oikawa

Synopsis : After years spent by a certain setter along with a small toddler mending you heart, your life was a just like a blissful movie with a happy ending. But little did you know the person who gave you not only the worst years of your life but also the small ball of sunshine, decided to suddenly make a appearance in your fairytale when fate played a wild card.

READ THE NOTE 📝 : don't you just love when its fluff at first and then boom! ANGST ANGST ANGST. Anyone else has the urge to kill kizumi? Okay only me? BTW there is bit of physical abuse so that's a trigger warning ig. Fun fact neither y/n nor oikawa knew that they first met at the park like this.

Part 1 : meeting you again | Part 2 : wouldn't you | Part 3 : broken promises | Part 4 : where it all went wrong

“can you please stop doing that!” you shoot a glare to the rooster haired man beside you, lips tightening to not let the obvious lovestruck grin be any more visible on your face.

“stop doing what?” a smirk on his red bitten lips, as his eyes glistened in amusement watching you try to hide your flusterness, it's cute how you still get fluster even after three years of your relationship. You rolled your eyes at that, shaking your head and lowering your gaze back on the dish in your hand rubbing it in a circular motion. You knew you couldn't win this argument when it will end up with you admitting you get flustered when his hands meets your body.

But.

A squeeze on the waist to move past you again, this time kuroo was taking the gloves from beside you while his cheeks touched your face. There it was— the subtle squeeze and way he always places his hands on your waist to shift you so he can move. As much as kuroo acted like a dorky stupid kid but there is no denying that he can also be a flirty sneaky bastard.

“kuroo!” you widened your eyes at him, smacking his shoulder playfully while he just returned a sleazy smirk.

He just pulled you closer to him, turning your face to meet his gaze, his thumb on your jaw which was moving closer to your lips. “you shouldn't distra—

“you look beautiful” his thumb on your lips, which traced it's edges and shapes so softly like he would hurt if he pressed it. His eyes fixed on your lips— he was like memorising every details his eyes could capture.

“Wha—what”

He doesn't reply anything just looks into your orbs, the dim light of the kitchen lamp illuminating golden colors over your skin, while the most loving feature on his face. The moment was beautiful just something out of a movie, his face leaning to kiss your lips, your hands gripping on his sleeves but the sudden camera shutter made both of yours head to turn towards the couch.

"Oh sorry didn't mean to disturb you" a owl looking friend lowered the camera, a proud grin on his face as if just he achieved something.

"Bo?" Kuroo moved away from you, raising his brow at the former fukurodani captain. What was he still doing at your apartment. And especially at 2 in the morning, the party ended two hours ago.

"Kuroo?" The said man picked his bag keeping the black camera inside it, the grin still on his handsome face as he walked around the couch to the kitchen. "I know you have a extra key to our apartment but that's for emergency only. when did you return—"

"I never left what do you mean?" the confused owl stepped closer, placing his hands on the counter. You snickered a bit at his cute antics. You absolutely loved when the owl was hanging out with yall and him staying over at your place even if it wasn't informed to you didn't bother you at all.

"Where were you all along then ?" You asked taking your apron off, moving past kuroo who was squinting his eyes at the bulky male. You smiled at him wiping your wet hand on kuroo's pant who returned a annoyed 'hey!' At you. But ignoring kuroo's whining was nothing new for you, so you did that well.

"Oh I was in the guest bathroom my pants seemed to not get on really well I think my booty grew a little bigger" You chuckled at the raw explanations, you knew that was nothing new for bokuto for his clothes getting smaller for himself, because the man gets thicker every year. Remembering the time you gave him a nice shirt on Christmas which after two month at a after party when he tried to dance, teared off from his shoulder and stretched out the sleeves because he has gotten bigger biceps. Needless to say the nice shirt was ruined.

"You could have called us bo" kuroo stepped in placing his hands on the waist as his lip twisted upwards. "Why did you take the picture tho" he continued, his hands going back to ran his hand through his locks.

"Oh I am glad you asked!" Bokuto sounded excited alright. You hummed in return sitting across him on the counter while kuroo took the seat beside you, similarly interested.

"So akaashi has this some time of activity on his photography club" he piped watching the famous couple of campus being engrossed in his story.

"And he had to take a romantic picture of couples" he smiled proudly taking out his camera from his bag, aggressively opening it to show you the image. "But he didn't know any close couple from his campus so I offered to help him being his former captain that's the least I could do right???" He turned the camera to let two pair of eyes scan the picture.

You knew bokuto was not so much of a photographer by the blurry pictures of his pet he showed you but if he was capable of taking the present picture in the camera, you might as well invite him to take your wedding pictures.

It looked beautiful, just out of a magical dream or a fairytale. Even though your makeup was messy after your three year anniversary party and kuroo looked tired as hell from all the working hard recently to get you the platinum pendant. The photo showed the two college students being in insanely love pretty well and it impressed you alright.

So that is why you said bokuto to send you the picture, so that is why you kept it as your wallpaper, which now you were staring at for a hour, in the park all alone as a wet drop of tear fell on the screen.

Was November always so cold? The thick turtleneck didn't help when you were sitting all alone at a park with the cold breeze hitting your skin like needles. You typed nervously on the screen again.

He was yet again standing you up, it was not something which could make you cry but you needed him now. He promised you he would go with you to your family and meet them as you asked him to. He promised he will support the important news you wanted to discuss with your parents and him when you sounded so anxious over the phone.

Kuroo wanted to make up for the small petty fight, he didn't get to make you the apology breakfast or shower you with kisses as he planned— no he was met with a empty apartment the next day, you were gone before 6 am and his texts were further ignored by you all day until a 'I am okay' popped up at his phone late at night.

But that was still alright because kuroo called you and wanted to meet you so bad, he tried to do that many times over the week, just to know why did you sound so strange and anxious all the time but you denied and denied until he further decided to give you the space you wanted but little did he know it was because of the small hospital test which came back positive.

The small ping made you look on the screen again, breaking yourself from your thoughts you were hoping for him to complain about the traffic or how he got late because of a surprise test but it was something which caused creaks to form on you glass heart

Kuroo :

"Hey I am sorry I think I can't make it. Kizumi and me were playing volleyball and she accidentally sprained her ankle so I am taking her to the local hospital"

Not that it was surprising he was bailing you for his friends, because you knew kuroo loved his friend and cared for them just like his family. But he promised didn't he? The being late for one hour was still taunting you on the face but what panged your heart more was because kizumi was the reason. He bailed on you because he was playing with a friend— no cause now you were more mad than being upset.

You :

"But the family dinner plan testurou—"

Kuroo :

"I am sorry I promise I will pick you up love. But just tell your parents the thing you wanted to tell, I am sure they will support you. You can tell me later about it :)"

You huffed, disappointed all over your face. You know your relationship with kuroo is stronger than to let a girl who he only met in college to make you doubt, but it was this things which made you insecure over and over again. How many time has he stood up because of kizumi over the time in your university? You think you lost count by now but he does always make up for it. But that isn't good enough, no matter how much he proves he only wants you he keeps hurting you like this.

You got up from your bench, hands gripping the purse in your hand, conflicted emotions as your mind keeps telling you maybe you weren't meant to be? Maybe he wasn't meant to be.

"Hey mom" you fiddled with the strap of your bag hanging over your shoulder when the blue plastered door of a place you once you used to call home opened, she gave you small greeting smile she gives all the guests, replying a 'hey how have you been'. The pretense on her voice is evident while she walks you into the kitchen where you came to see your father on his laptop working on his paper.

You were about to greet the old man when you were interrupted by his cold, deep voice "so how is living in the small apartment going on with you?" He scoffs, eyes still on his laptop as he checked the paper on his hand again. Your mom calls his name as warning to not let the topic of argument start again.

You hoped kuroo was here to squeeze your hand and let you know that he was there to support you. No matter what. But here you were all alone standing at your childhood home that you left after high-school, while the thick tense atmosphere dooms on you. You weren't ready for this not alone atleast, not when you had doubts yourself, not when you knew your all goals of life will be ruined but, one thing you were sure about was to never commit anything negative and that's fixed.

"It has been fine" You murmured softly, looking at your mom who was bringing the salad on the table, she noticed you look tired must be cause of your studies right? Not that she cared about your health that much if it was involved with school.

"Y/n when is kuroo coming?" She asked, you wanted to say he is just late like the first time you led him to meet up with your family, your remember your dad disappointed that you chose someone who didn't think time was important but he didn't just leave the dinner once he heard that he was actually a good student and liked the fact he didn't prioritize volleyball over his passion for chemistry or grades.

While your mom didn't like him at all, his hairtyle supposedly wasn't as formal in your household nor was his piercing. And you knew your family wasn't positive about the fact that you have a boyfriend. In simple words they loathed your decision, they loathed the fact you were pursuing to become a baker with how good your grades were, they loathed the fact that you wanted to go and live with a boy who you just have been in a relationship with for a year in highschool.

"He is busy in the lab, he took up the job for being lab assistant in the university" You rasped sitting across your father who closed his laptop, putting it aside. "That will look good on his resume" your father commented, you wonder if they ever asked how he treated you or how was his behavior with you. They only cared about his status and studies. Kuroo always treated you nicely but you know if you ever share the troubles of your relationship with your mom or dad you will meet with 'I told you so's '.

"What was the thing you wanted to talk about?" Your mom settled, putting the pasta on the table while taking the seat beside you.

Palms sweaty while your leg shaked uncontrollably, were you prepared for their reaction? You didn't want to beat around bush. But they were always unpredictable and never talking with them about any problems you faced since childhood made the emotional and mental relationship with your parents worse.

"Uhm" You picked up the fork to dig in to your pasta, eyes on your plate as your mind wondered what will be the right word to declare about something growing inside you. This wasn't going to be easy no matter what, you only have your parents and kuroo to support. Yet you knew deep down both parties will most likely leave you.

"I took pregnancy test at the hospitals few days ago—" You said abruptly, the sound of spoons clanking the plate or moving anything stopped. Silence on the table as you didn't dared to look up. You were sure your parents weren't expecting anything good from you but you knew they weren't expecting something like this too.

If you had one word to describe your feelings right there it would have been fear. Utter fear of ruining everything you thought you had.

"It came back positive" You said it— licking your lips as you felt the blood strain away from your body, hands trembling while tightening your grip on the fork you had. Yearning the support you always wanted from the successful couple but to no one's surprise you were met with just silence. The quietness in the room dawned for one to two minutes until a loud slapping sound echoed through the room.

A rough hand hitting the fat of your face as your eyes widened in disbelief, sure your parents didn't show the support or care you always asked for but they never hurted you physically. Eyes watering, as shame started filling your lungs as you look up to see only disappointment and anger on the old man.

"Leave" he muttered, not a ounce of emotion in his voice as your mom looked horrified, not because your father slapped you— rather it was due to your announcement.

You stand up hesitantly, tears rolling down your cheeks involuntarily while the food of the table grew cold.

"Dad pleas—"

"Y/n leave right now and never come back here ever again. Forget you had a father. Forget you had a family" he yelled on your face as he gripped the table cloth tightly. Stern glare and cold expression.

Lips quivering at his response, you bring your long sleeve to rub the tears off your face, gripping the purse in your hand so hardly that your knuckles turned white, you turned around in a rush to leave through the door, you wished your mother would have atleast something through the whole process or calmed down your father but she just gave you bitter look when you turned back to look at her.

Your hiccups could be heard through the pavement, even during the heavy rain. You always thought your life was like a movie, but you didn't want to live the part where the actress breaks down while suddenly nature also decides to cry with her. A rain in November? You don't remember if you ever saw that happening. You havs called kuroo for ten times by now and yet every one of them went to voice-mail.

Calming your breathing, the red print of hand was still pretty visible on your cheeks. You voice messaged him to pick you up, sharing your address but he didn't respond. How many hours has it been you have sitting there all alone? Maybe his phone died, yeah that's probably it. You opened your Instagram to text kizumi? She was with him right— she will give her phone to kuroo so he could speak with you right ?

You searched her profile, shaky hands trying to press the message button once you opened her page but when you accidentally opened her stories, your glass heart lost a piece yet again. Someone, some friend of her probably, had tagged her in a stories which she reposted.

It was of kuroo and her, kuroo carrying her in his back as they both looked smitten, voices of someone laughing at the background. The story tagged both of them while they added a caption saying "can we get a bestfriends to lover trope??" Which kizumi infact reposted with a text which said "maybe we can ;)". The suggestiveness in the comment was obvious, she was finally showing her true colors? You immediately went to kuroo's page to see if he did repost the story too.

The answer was yes, while he didn't suggest anything and just wrote a "lmao". But would a warning to her friends that he is taken would have hurt anyone? He uploaded the story forty minutes ago huh— and he deliberately ignored your calls— for what now? atleast past two hours. Anger filled your lungs, you wanted to scream at him, let him know that he could go and fuck himself.

But you found calling him once again, but to no avail it reached to voice-mail. You loved him so much that you can't even think what will happen if he lost feelings so you do the last thing which you hoped he would respond to. You asked him to meet you. Meet him at the same place you both met for the first time. No not school— it was a snack store which was opened till late at night. You both going for the same snack as you made eye contact. He had the same mischievous grin you remember, a flirty chemistry remark was also thrown at your way which made you laugh hysterically and lifted your mood after you were scolded by your parents right before that. From that time onwards kuroo was like your support system to escape from reality.

"Hey! are you alright?"

The new hoarse voice makes you look up to meet a man standing in front of you, tall and huge frame, his face was not visible as he wore a mask and the light of the street lamp was barely making out his body.

"Yes I am okay" You softly said back, the tears stain on your face says other wise and the stranger knew better. You were wet alone late at night at park which couple usually used for dates.

"It's raining cats and dogs out here at a chilly night" he pauses as you seem to realize that the rain was still hitting your skin and you were soaking wet. "Do you want me to walk you home?"

As much as the person seemed polite, you wouldn't trust a stranger at late night to walk you home. You shake your head as a 'no'. That was expected the stranger thinks, as a call of a absurd name yelled at the way of both of yours direction. Something along the way of trashy or shitty but you were too engrossed in your emotion to notice.

The man sighed, looking back at his friend, he takes another look at you. He can't just leave you like this— but you won't obviously leave with him. "Here" he stretched his hand towards you as you looked up at him confused. The wet tears of the sky stops falling on you as you wondered What did he mean?

"Here keep the umbrella— its cold I have my car parked right there I can run fast enough to not get wet much" he mumbled handing you the umbrella quickly. What? You wanted to say no but he was running away before that, screaming things like if you end up in trouble call the police immediately or take care it's not safe out here this late at night as he slowly grew smaller and smaller, joining a grow of people, which you only could make out that the numbers were three.

That's the least he could have done for you right? the Argentina player thinks while driving back to the airport to finally leave after the last day of his vacation back home.

Taglist : @glxar @amarinthe @fushigum @cheeseriz @gamacha @howlcatboy @qualitygiantshoepsychic @mikie-nugget @pluviophilefangirl @bnha-bakusquad @asaitashi @peachiikichu @lordmomourmomoness @gacha-and-otome @rinsangel @vvvselfindulgence @missyasma @macky-attoh @sorryav14 @ellesalazar @chaoticotaku @embermarie

Kuroo x fem reader (for the upcoming parts reader x oikawa)

Synopsis : After years spent by a certain setter along with a small toddler mending you heart, your life was a just like a blissful movie with a happy ending. But little did you know the person who gave you not only the worst years of your life but also the small ball of sunshine, decided to suddenly make a appearance in your fairytale when fate played a wild card.

READ THE NOTE : this chapter is to let you all know how kuroo and y/n's relationship was. They were absolutely one of the couple in university everyone envied as well as loved because they seemed like they just came out of a superhit rom-com movie. #people'sfavoriteduo. Also read chapter one first to get to know the story better.

Part 1 : meeting you again ¦ Part 2 : wouldn't you? ¦ Part 3 : broken promises

“No don't come any closer to me” kuroo stopped you, putting a hand too close to your face. He was trying to cover the wardrobe to not let you take out your clothes. muscles gripping on the corner of the wooden piece which was shorter than him, God they were flexing in the process and you would have simped over them if it weren't for this situation.

“and what is the reason? ” You sighed for the ninth time that evening, placing your hands over your hips while the matching pajama you bought together with kuroo hung loose over your body.

“my heart is made up of gallium it melts when you are close to me” the said rooster grinned at his own pick up line, kind of proud of himself that he made one on spot. He is gonna brag about it to shoku later in his math class. Poor boy was tired of hearing the chemistry pick up lines being practiced on him.

You massaged your temple. You really loved kuroo and his dorky stupid smile along with his cheesy pickup lines but Jesus Christ he atleast used twenty nine of cheesy remarks related to chemistry along with the kisses to not let you pack in peace. “if you don't want to get your cock blocked for a month move from there” you threatened, feeling certain he will let you be in peace.

“m' fine with it ” his grinned stretched bigger on his face “might as well win no nut November this year” now he was smirking with a smug look on his face.

Kuroo was like the mixture of Godzilla and thirteen years old in a twenty two year old man's body. Too stubborn and built like a beast which scares you sometimes a bit too much. No not the part where his body is built like Godzilla due to years of playing volleyball, it doesn't scares you even a bit and if you are being honest seeing him all jacked up makes you weak in the knees

but when his personality is like a thirteen year old, a little to stubborn and a little too troublesome that he can go to the extent of stealing someone's cat, yeah that scares you a bit.

“tetsurou I swear to god” you smacked his arms, frowning as you glared at him. Now you are going to get pussy blocked for a month due to him, geez. “just let me take out my clothes in peace” you walked forward towards the gap between him and the desk, tugging at his shorts a little but he just looked at you with a amusing glint in his eyes and a smirk on his fucking stupid handsome face.

“but I just came back” the rooster head whined this time, as you try to shove him away with your weak arms. “yes but you can live in a apartment alone for a few days by yourself” you spat back moving him from his place a little, the squeeze on his ass did help you to distract him. “hey that's foul play oww—” he shrieked as a cold metal spanked his butt, where the fuck did you get that pan.

“everything is fair in love and war” now you are the one with a smug look, finally shoving him away from his place, he was wincing and rubbing his ass with his hands, his face contouring a defeated look. You just gave him a small smile that he loved to see before opening your wardrobe after 30 minutes of trying, since a certain huge anaconda decided to guard it. Oh and the favorite pan of kuroo's whose handle you successfully bended and hid behind your desk did come in handy after all.

He was frowning now, thinking about how to make you stay with him until his gaze stopped on your phone. “hey I will text Emily and tell her you are sick” he snatched your phone from the charging point before swaying it on your face. “NO!” you yelled back, pouncing on him as he stretched his hand higher, enough to make you jump to grab it.

“why not babe— I missed you so much on the trip and now you have to leave the same day I get back just— Just to look after the house of your stupid friend ” he sounded annoyed as he huffed and pulled you into a hug. Kuroo was surely a big baby. But he was your big baby as much as you try to push him away he always comes back like you are his magnet and he will always move towards you.

“well you clearly didn't look like you were missing me in the selfies with kizumi” you pouted, your hands wrapping around his back as he nuzzled your face into his chest. You missed him too, you were jealous even. He was gone for two weeks but you have to leave, you have to even if that means you have to lie bout your friend traveling to states.

Because you weren't dumb, you could see all the symptoms— it wasn't as complex as rocket science that you couldn't understand the morning sickness, the mood swings, your period being late. It was not like you didn't want him to know about this, but if you knew a thing or two about kuroo, you were certain he didn't want kids any at the moment especially when he thought the kids are spawn of devils and you were both still broke kids in college.

Even you didn't know totally if your assumption was true and you certainly still weren't sure about this too. So you needed time, to convince yourself first- then convince him. Because you knew you couldn't do this alone, not while the love of your life wasn't by your side atleast.

“is this about you being jealous of her?” he pushed you a little, to see your face better, your eyes better, he could read your eyes like a chemistry book. You looked exhausted, tired but still to him you looked like the most prettiest girl to him. You always did and certainly always will. Wouldn't you?

You didn't say anything, even if you wanted to shake your head and say 'as if', you didn't because you felt insecure by the way they both talked about things they loved so passionately. You weren't like kuroo, not into the things he loves that much, you just supported him always, back when he was still in high school and and till now' till now when you both are trying to adapt to the adult life.

You always supported him but when Kizumi came into frame. Things started to change even if the dork was head over heels for you. He and Kizumi would talk for hours being in the same major, you had to share his free time with her. Her who was also a volleyball lover since she played in high school and co-incedently her loving chemistry as much as he did. They were like soul mates. So often it did make you wonder, if you were the right one who should be with him? were you the second female lead in the story who was holding back the main leads to complete their love story. his feeble voice interrupted your thoughts.

“y/n” he cupped your face, leaning down to meet your gaze, his pair of golden eyes looking softer than ever, filled with love and tenderness. “you know I love you and only you right” he said, flipping you against him, pulling you more closer to him, as he pecked the shell of your ears. “as long as you are by my side no one- no one can ever be compared to you” he assured you peppering kisses down your jaw, taking in your sweet scent.

“and if I am not by your side” you questioned back closing your eyes, feeling the soft lips on your skin falter for a moment. “no matter what” he breathed out, sucking on the spot he knew you loved as a small mewl escaped from your mouth. “you will always be by my side” wouldn't you?

Three am at the clock, two naked bodies under a thin bed sheet seeking for more warmth as they clinged into each other. “tetsurou” you mumbled against his chest, a small hum followed as you felt his heartbeat softly by the pressed ear against him.

“what do you think about having kids” a silence, you were meet with silence hanging in the room. Maybe you shouldn't have been so forward with this. You shifted a little away from him to look at his face but he was just staring past you. “I asked you something” you whispered, anxiety feeling your skin due to the lack of response.

“I don't want them” he answered straightforwardly, using his thumb to draw circles on your back. You furrowed your brows, your heart dropping to the stomach. “not now atleast” he continued.

“honestly I never wanted kids, kind of a burden if you think thoroughly and not only for the parents but also for the kids” he said, not meeting your eyes as a little hurt lashed over his orbs. The room was dark and only the breathing of the both of you in the small apartment could be heard. “what if they have the same fate as you or me” he murmured “also they kind of slow us down too, from achieving our dreams I don't think I will ever want kids”

“you think we will divorce each other?” you asked, now moving totally away from him, as you raised your head to meet his eyes, removing his hand from your back “you think we will neglect our kid?” you sounded irritated, maybe it was due to your hormones but the room felt suffocating all of a sudden. He did not just compare you both to his parents or your parents. You were nothing like them and will never be.

“why are you getting all worked up” kuroo shifted, he lifted his head, hands pressing against the mattress to support himself. “no— just just forget about it” you muttered out, shifting to the other side as your back faced kuroo.

“what? now you are not even looking at me just cause of a stupid conversations” his gruffy tired voice asked, his hands moving to grab you closer to his body. The room was cold he wanted your warmth but you slapped his hand away.

“God y/n you are so overdramatic and annoying at times” he muttered in annoyance, getting back on his side as his hand massaged his temples. He instantly regretted when you replied a small sorry as your voice cracked.

“m' sorry love” he sighed pulling your back closer to his body. He didn't say anything as you didn't react negatively to his touch. He will make you a apology breakfast tomorrow and pamper you with kisses, while muttering I love you's and sorry's against your skin as he always does when he feels guilty so you will forgive him like you do everytime. wouldn't you?

A/n : was actually planning to drop a chapter where y/n met oikawa after the whole thing with kuroo but since I wanted to make a special chapter for the precious boi due to his birthday here we go. Happy belated birthday kuroo!!! I wasn't actually planning to make this a series neither tag list but since you all liked it here you go mamas. Okay byee.

Tagging people who asked me to _(:з」∠)_ : @fushigum @amarinthe @glxar

Oh wow. You never expected to see the familiar rooster haired person, especially bending down at a forty five degree angle to get a better view of the cakes displayed in your shop.

You just came back from picking up some new tea leaves delivered by your mom to try the flavours, while your co-woker was left to handle the shop when you were away.

Now, here you stood in front of your own shop, debating if you should enter or not after noticing a past companion

You gulped a little, touching the knob of the door to twist it open but you immediately retreated your hand away when the metal touched your skin, causing a shiver to run down your spine. Your palm felt sweaty and cold indicating you were getting nervous. Thank God, iwaizumi chose to put glass as the exterior or you can't even imagine how you would have reacted without preparing yourself to meet a certain someone.

You grabbed the knob again twisting it this time as you took a deep breath opening the door. You were mature now, way past your university years. You had to face him some day but you were hoping the some day wasn't any time soon. Maybe after you died or sumn should have been okay.

Calming your nerves, you told yourself that forgetting the hours of crying and snorting on your poor pillow would be best, for now atleast.

The ringing sound once someone opens the door echoed through the cute cafe as you stepped your foot inside, causing kuroo's head to rise up.

He didn't look back though, he just stood up fixing his suit a little because if he stayed in that position in his tight pants, he was quite sure those pants were putting his ass on a show. He smiled at the young college lad behind the counter saying he would like to order a large red velvet cake which should be packed nicely. He liked the smell of the store and the calming feeling it radiates, it reminds him of someone. “oh and please make it fast- my girlfriend is kind of impatient" he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Once you hear his gruffy voice and his signature cologne engulfing your nose, the same one he used to put on too much that you had to scold him about it. You stopped on your track, hands clentching your bags tightly. Memories swaying through your head. You remember the blushes, the jokes, the flirty remarks, days spent sitting on his roof while he told you every interesting facts about stars he knew.

You closed your eyes putting a small smile on your face, get a grip y/n. You chanted the slogan in your mind before opening your mouth to call out his name that you screamed so many times in so many different ways, but to your luck of course your obedient staff interupted, the guy was more than happy to let the only customer at this late in the hour know of your existent. "ah- Mrs. Oikawa you are back"

The engines of kuroo's head twisted and turned at the mention of the surname, he didn't know oikawa tooru from the Argentina team had a wife. Was this guy talking about the same oikawa he knew?

The one he met during some tournaments and parties a few times, he remembers making small talks once or twice with him, though— he wouldn't call themselves friends but but one thing he knew about oikawa was that he had tons and tons of fangirls, he knew just by seeing the bunch of girls waiting for him to get out of the five star restraurents that they both attended for some formal parties so they can take a picture with him.

He has still the habit of not minding his own business back from his highschool days. So, curious to know who was the wife of infamous oikawa tooru and why he didn't hear a gossip about it before. Kuroo snaped his head back to met a glossy, familiar pair of e/c eyes.

The say curiosity kills the cat, but in this case his world falls apart when he sees you. He choked, feeling all the air get suck out of him. Locking eyes with the same e/c orbs he adored so much, the same ones that used to sparkle when you looked at him.

"y/n" a really small mumble, more like a whisper which can be barely heard. But that small mumble takes you back to the days where he would call your name over and over again from across the library, for letting you know about something new he found out about the two married teachers hooking up with each other. Though the actions mostly ended up for the both of you to getting kicked out of there and then him rumbling about how the old librarian lady was so insensitive and rude when it was obviously his fault you both were banned from there.

"tet-" you stopped yourself immediately, shaking your head to convince yourself that you shouldn't call him that. "kuroo" you mumbled a little louder than him, a soft smile forming on your lips as your eyes wrinkled.

Oh fuck. That's what he thinks. Geez after all those years how could you still smile at him like that. The contagious smiles that drives him crazy so so much. At this point he even forgets you were married or he was about to propose his girlfriend tonight. All in his mind at that moment was you.

You have gotten more beautiful, hair longer and face a lot more matured. You still had those soft lips he remembered and he can say you have gained a little weight which just makes you more beautiful in his eyes. He wants to ask you a lot of questions. He wants to say a lot of things. He missed you like a mad man.

He opens his mouth to say he missed you, he missed your hands cupping his face, he missed your touch, your soft snores against his neck. The way both of you would plan about the future.

“how have you been?”

You fiddled your fingers in your pocket, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I have been doing good” you closed your eyes smiling brightly at him just like you used to. Placing the bags on the table beside you, you shifted your gaze from kuroo. He is a lot more muscular now than he was in college, but with the same messy hair styled with lots of jel.

“haru take this bag and keep it in the kitchen please” you asked to him, looking back at kuroo who was still busy taking in your appearance. “it's rude to stare at someone” you chuckled, patting his arms as you moved past him. “is it my fault you grew more gorgeous now?" he spat back, feeling the angsty feeling in his heart decrease a little. Not so sure where this confidence to speak with you is coming from.

“aah-you still flirt with taken women?” you replied, tying your hair into a bun, walking behind the counter. The way you moved was more elegant than he remembers.

You hit a spot in his heart reminding you were taken but so was he. He reminds himself that you both weren't anymore teenagers and adults with real life responsibility.

Huffing you wrapped the pastel blue coloured apron around your waist, eyes avoiding his face “is it kizumi?” you arched a brow, eyes on your working hands. Taking the piece of cardboard and a red ribbon which matched the cake. He turned around, tightening his lips wondering how is gonna tell you 'it is her'.

The one girl who always made you feel inferior and insecure. Nights he spent reminding you she was just a friend, now he is fidgeting how to tell your guess was right. Back then he truly meant she was just a friend.

As long as you could remember you always disliked her, she was always kind and cheerful and a little too bright for you. Though she never directly tried hitting on tetsu but you knew by the subtle touches and the lingering gaze she was into him.

But you were past that stage, even though you felt a little defeated by her but you have your own special person now, the person who makes the world seem like a bearable place everyday little by little. You chuckled to cut the thick tension in the air

“you should go and sit upstairs till' the cake is prepared” changing the subject, your hands motioned to the cute stair inside the cafe leading up to a new set of area with private chairs and tables for people who liked privacy. You didn't want kuroo to stand infront of you when you were trying to ignore his presence.

“ah-” he paused looking at the direction of your hands. The wooden stair case with black tinted glass at the end to cover the upstairs view. Several small flowers wrapped around the railing and small lamps decorated along the way. He hesitantly opened his mouth, he wanted to talk with you and know every thing that he wanted to ask you after the day you left. This night could end like this, he could just sit idly and let the burning curiosity being ignored and move on with his life, propose the girl like he planned and try to keep you off mind. Try to not find you in the girl he is with like he did for years.

But he was determined today, he was going to get answers why you left and how sorry he was for not meeting you for the last time you asked for. No matter what or who—

“Mommyy” a voice ringed through the cafe followed by soft giggles and a chuckling of a adult. A small pair of legs dashed past kuroo towards you. Two hands wrapping around your legs with a beaming smile stretched acrossed a chubby face, giving you a long hug. You looked a little exasperated and shocked by the sudden attack but a small smile formed on your lips looking at the tiny boy.

“sorry to disturb your working hours honey” a breathy, hoarse voice behind kuroo spoke in a teasing tone followed with few snickers "but our dear son was nagging why is his mommy so late” by the tone of the argentina's player, it was evident that it was his idea to sneak up in your working hours.

Walking playfully to the back of the counter, he pecked your lips lovingly, parting before giving you a eye closed smile. He didn't notice who the other male was standing in the cafe, honestly he could care any less and especially since oikawa was a man for showing some public display affection. But when he noticed the flickering worry over your eyes when you looked past him he snapped his back to meet a pair of gawking cat-like eyes.

It wasn't oikawa's affection which drained all kuroo's blood off his body neither was it because you have a loving family now, no— it was rather because of the small kid who was smiling at the desserts in display with sparkling eyes.

Anybody could tell with two eyes that the small guy had the exact same messy long hair similar to the ex nekoma's captain. Anyone could tell that the golden brown cat like eyes were the exact copy paste of someone else's flickering fierce eyes. Because anybody could tell that the small guy looked nothing like oikawa and more like the stranger standing in the store.

“mommy can I have another late night dessert again? Please! please! please! I swear I will wash my teeth as many time you want today”

Ah— how could kuroo forget about the same way he used to nag for a late night dessert made by especially you. The one which he ate too much that he had to visit dentist every two to three months for. Seems like you have a lot of explaining to do.

Part 2 : wouldn't you?

Haikyuu boys with taller S/O

Pairings: Kuroo, Tsukishima, Bakuto

Tsukishima Kei

Tsukki is a bit awkward at first about being with someone taller than him. His pride can’t help but make him act like it doesn’t bother him, but secretly, he finds it endearing.

He loves that you can rest your chin on his head, though. He may grumble about it, but he enjoys the closeness and the height difference feels... comfortable for him in a weird way.

He might jokingly complain when you have to lean down to give him a kiss, making fun of himself but really finding it kind of cute.

When you're both in public, he’ll act aloof about it, but when you're alone, he’s definitely the type to give you a side-hug, with his arms going around your waist, looking up at you with a smirk that says, “Yeah, I’m with someone like you.”

If you ever try to pick him up or carry him, he will act annoyed, but there’s no hiding the little blush creeping on his face.

Kuroo Tetsurou

Kuroo would definitely be a little more playful and teasing about the height difference. He loves to joke about it, especially if you two are around the team. He’ll say things like, “Well, guess I’ll just have to look up to you in more ways than one!”

But deep down, he thinks it’s cute. He’ll definitely try to rest his head on your shoulder when you’re walking side by side, or even nudge you from behind and give a quiet, “I feel like I’m dating a model with your height.”

Kuroo is confident and doesn’t mind the height difference at all. He’s more likely to use it to his advantage, like reaching over your head to grab something from a shelf or leaning on you like it’s no big deal.

He’s also the type to compliment you on how amazing you look, often saying you stand out and are the tallest, most beautiful person in the room, making you blush with that signature cocky grin of his.

Bokuto Koutaro

Bokuto loves the height difference! He’s such an energetic, playful guy that the height difference makes him even more excited. He’ll constantly ask for piggyback rides and loves when you swoop him up in a big hug because of how easy it is for you to lift him.

He might look up at you in awe when you stand next to him, teasing, “You’re so tall, I feel like I’m looking up at a giant!” but in the most adorable way.

The height difference also means more space for affection. He’ll be the type to give you big bear hugs, resting his head on your chest, or even trying to sneak up to steal kisses from your chin when you’re both standing.

He’ll occasionally ask for you to pick him up like you’re his personal giant, and even if it’s a little tiring for you, he’ll never let you forget how strong and awesome you are for being able to do it.

Bokuto loves being able to hold your hand and have it almost swallowed by yours. It’s a small thing, but it makes him feel protected and loved.

A/n: I hope these were fun to read! Let me know if you'd like any tweaks or additional headcanons!

growing sideways

pairing: kuroo tetsurou x fem! reader

summary: kuroo tetsurou is all grown up. you think you might have to learn to let him go. or: an exploration of love, and loving things.

note: sorry that it's been so long!! college has been so silly funny goofy (derogatory) but i'm on break now and pretending that i dno't have to go back in a week.

sort of spoilers for occupations (kuroo, kenma, yaku) post-timeskip! (but also doesn’t really follow canonical futures… sort of a mess, to be honest.) my attempt at reconciling what i’d hoped for him and what he becomes.  title taken from a noah kahan song of the same name that has next to nothing to do with the actual fic.

cw: mention of throwing up (doesn’t actually happen, though)

___

When Kuroo Tetsurou gets scouted to a professional team in Russia, you’re the last person he tells. Technically, he doesn’t tell you at all – it’s Kenma who does, blinking up at you from behind a curtain of his hair.

“I thought he’d told you already,” he says, voice as apologetic as you’ve ever heard it, which is to say apathetic, as always, but with a dash of sympathy mixed in.

“No,” you say, because there’s nothing else left you can say. “He didn’t.”

Kenma doesn’t say anything, shifting his focus back to his game. You take the moment he offers you to exhale, quietly. To resituate yourself around this new hurt in your chest.

“Does everyone else know?” you ask. Kenma lifts one of his shoulders up, a half-shrug.

“Maybe not his mom,” he offers. This is poor consolation, and both of you know it – Kuroo hasn’t talked to his mother beyond stilted platitudes in years, not since she uprooted her life and his sister and half his chest and taken it with her, leaving a husband, a son, and a house with too many rooms.

“So he’s gonna take it, then,” you say. Kuroo is a lot of things – mercurial, bright, a pain in the ass when he puts his mind to it – but everyone knows that first and foremost, he’s a volleyball player. You’d realized it for yourself, back in your first year of university, when one of your friends had dragged you to a match and you’d spotted him, arms outstretched, fingers splayed and braced as if he thought he could hold a sun in his hands. When he’d landed, you’d caught sight of his grin, almost too large for his face.

Ah, you’d thought. So this is what it means to love something.

The next morning, at your eight-thirty introductory economics lecture, you’d shuffled in and put your head down on the desk, drifting closer and closer to sleep every second. 

Then the person behind you had poked you, hard, and you’d let out a half-scream, jolting up in your seat in a way that made every single person in your lecture hall, including your professor, look at you.

The person behind you had started laughing – an ugly laugh, cackling like a hyena, the kind of laugh that made you want to join in, despite your burning embarrassment. You’d swiveled around to face him as the professor resumed his lecturing.

“What is wrong with you,” you’d hissed. It was the boy from yesterday– the middle blocker with the awful hair.

He’d raised his hands up in surrender, although there was still a crooked grin on his face. “Sorry, sorry,” he’d said. “Just was wondering if you had a pencil.”

“You know,” you’d said, fishing one from your bag. “There are easier ways to ask people for a pencil than giving them heart attacks.”

You’d passed the pencil to him, and he’d given you a jaunty little salute with it, one that made your lips curl up despite yourself. “I’ll keep it in mind,” he’d said, and you’d turned back around again, and that was that.

Except the next lecture, you’d arrived at your usual seat to find a disposable cup of coffee there, likely from the little cafe downstairs. You’d turned to the boy behind you, raising your eyebrows.

“As a thank you,” he’d shrugged, leaning back in his chair in a way you’d suspected was meant to be cool and casual. “And also so that you don’t keep falling asleep in lecture.”

“How do you know I’ve been falling asleep in lecture,” you’d said, a little grumpily, pulling the cup towards you and taking a sip nonetheless. It wasn’t your usual order, but it was drinkable, and if you were being honest, you’d need all the caffeine you could get.

He’d watched you take a sip of the drink, a pleased smile playing on his face. “I sit right behind you. I’ve seen you take a nap at your desk every single week.” 

“I’ll have you know that that’s just the posture I learn best in,” you’d sniffed.

“What, drooling?”

“I do not drool,” you’d said, haughty. “And even if I did, how would you even know? You’re such a stalker.”

“Harsh,” he’d whistled, although the smile didn’t leave his face. “I’m just observant.”

You’d rolled your eyes at him, swiveling around to face the front of the room as the professor began his lecture. And if you’d managed – for the first time this entire semester – to make it all the way through without falling asleep, well, that was nobody’s business but your own.

The next week, another cup was waiting for you. 

“You know,” you’d said, “I think you’ve repaid your debt from the pencil in full.”

“Oh, this isn’t about the pencil,” he’d replied. “I didn’t get the right order for you last week, did I? I wanted to try again this time.”

You’d blinked at him. “I don’t even know your name.”

“Kuroo,” he’d said. “Kuroo Tetsurou.”

“Well, Kuroo Tetsurou,” you’d said, “did you ever think about just asking me for my order?”

“What’s the fun in that?” he’d asked.

The drinks kept coming, every week, without fail, ranging from plain to ridiculously extravagant. He still hadn’t gotten your order, although at some point during the semester, he’d migrated from sitting behind you to sitting right next to you, passing you stupid notes and doodling all over your notebooks.

The last lecture’s drink was wrong, again, although you kept drinking it anyways. “You should come hang out with me and my friends sometime,” he’d said, sudden, and you’d nearly choked.

“What brought this on?”

“I dunno,” he’d said, uncharacteristically shy, looking away from you. “You know when you meet some people and it’s just like, they’re meant to be in my life, so you have to try really hard to not let them go?”

“So making a girl scream during lecture is your idea of an ideal introduction,” you’d said, and he’d rolled his eyes, leaning over to lightly push at your shoulder.

“You know what I mean.”

“I saw one of your volleyball matches,” you’d told him. Suddenly you’d wanted him to know. “At the beginning of the semester. Before we’d met.”

He seemed to understand what you were trying to say.  “What’d you think?” 

“You must really love it,” you’d said. “Playing volleyball.”

“I do.”

“Well, then, Kuroo-kun. I’ll come meet your friends, under one condition.” He’d raised his eyebrows at you, expectantly.

“I get to tell you my coffee order,” you’d said. “Some of these drinks are becoming downright disgusting.”

“You drink them anyway,” he’d replied. “But I suppose that’s a fair trade.”

You’d grinned at him, and he’d grinned back, and it’d all gone from there. 

You’ve known since you started talking to him that Kuroo is a natural at getting people to orbit around him. He draws people near – crooked grin, warm eyes, quick wit – and then holds them there, at arm’s length, never quite letting them get any closer. You’d thought, perhaps, that you could be an exception to this. That he’d seen something in you that was enough for him to want to let you in. To pull you close. The thing is this: in your heart of hearts you are a romantic, and to you Kuroo has always been a little like the sun, like tilting your face towards the golden wash of afternoon and remembering, soft and gentle like falling into something, So this is what it is to love.

“I don’t know,” Kenma says, and you look at him looking at his game. He is, out of anyone, the most likely to understand how you feel: the air knocked out of you, leaving you gasping and breathless . But he has the reassurance of more than a decade of friendship behind him, built on neighboring houses and the squeak of shoes on a gymnasium floor. Some days you feel like what you have with Kuroo is fragile and insubstantial, playing-card houses on a precarious surface. Like if he left he’d take it all with him.

“Of course he’s going to take it,” you say past the lump in your throat. “He’d be an idiot not to.”

Kenma doesn’t say anything, but the little sound effects from his game pause. He blinks up at you through his bangs.

“We should throw him a party,” you say. “Or something. To celebrate.”

“If you think that’s a good idea,” he says, noncommittal. 

There is an ache in your chest and you think that once you leave Kenma’s apartment you won’t be able to stop yourself from crying. “Of course it’s a good idea. You know how much Kuroo loves having everyone he loves in one place.”

“That’s exactly the thing,” Kenma murmurs, but you don’t hear him, already pulling out your phone to make a list.

“Invites, decorations, food… Oh! Kenma, do you think Kuroo would like it if we made him saba? Or went out to a restaurant that specializes?”

“Probably,” he says. The game resumes. “He’s always going on about doca-something acid.”

“Docosahexaenoic acid,” you correct absently, scrolling through a list of nearby restaurants. Kuroo’s talked about it enough – and despite your better judgment, you’ve listened to his rants enough times – for you to remember the name in full. 

You miss the look that Kenma gives you, exasperatedly fond.

It turns out that Kuroo knows a lot of people. Even more than you’d thought. There are the guys that he plays with on the volleyball team, of course, but then there’s also his other business major friends and the other undergraduates who work in the same lab that he does in his free time (because of course he’d be the type of person to do that.) Then there’s the neighbors he’d had freshman year and still miraculously keeps in touch with, and the ones from sophomore year. Then Kenma casually mentions that Kuroo still frequently talks to everyone from his volleyball team his third year of high school, and you have to beg him to let you use his phone and ensure that everyone from there will be able to attend.

Then there’s the issue of getting enough food: you know from prior experience that volleyball players can eat, and there’s a part of you that worries that the budget you’ve scraped together from whatever your friends managed to donate won’t be enough for one of them, let alone the stampede you’re about to invite into your apartment. And besides, there’s decorations to think about, and maybe a present for Kuroo, and maybe it would be cute if you could get one of those places that rents out cats to send over a couple – do those places actually exist or was the whole thing just a stress-induced hallucination? Either way, the stress of budgeting is enough to make you understand why Kuroo had succumbed to his base capitalistic tendencies and become a business major. You’ll never be able to make fun of him for it again.

Kenma solves this problem readily enough, extending a credit card towards you with barely any hesitation when you mention it in passing.

“Stop stressing out,” he mutters. “It’ll be okay. Kuro’s not the kind who’d care about things like that.”

You blink at him. He determinedly avoids your eyes. “Kenma,” you say. “You know what I have to do, don’t you.”

He sighs, setting down his game. “If you must.”

You launch yourself at him in a bone-crushing hug, and although you hear him click his tongue at you, you can also feel the way his hands come up to rest on your back, soft and steady. 

“He asked me if I’d seen you around recently,” Kenma mentions when you separate.

“What did you say?”

“Said you seemed busy. He said he hadn’t seen you and was worried he’d done something.”

There isn’t much to say back to that. You busy yourself by picking at one of the threads in your shirtsleeves.

Kenma says your name. 

“I know,” you say. “I know. I just – I don’t know.”

Kuroo has many smiles, you know. There’s the one when he’s trying to get a rise out of someone, lazy and lean. There’s the one when he sees a cute animal or a small child or the old lady you always run into the market, the one that reminds him of his obaa-chan. There’s the one he gets when he sees you, sometimes, and doesn’t realize that you’re seeing him back, small and fond in a way that makes you a little afraid, sometimes. At the enormity of it. At how fragile it seems, some days. At what it could become, if given the chance.

And there’s the one he has when he’s playing volleyball, the one that makes his eyes go all squinty; the one that’s a little too large, just on this side of feral, because he’s so happy that he doesn’t remember to think about things like presentability and not scaring the people around him, both on his side and the other side of the net. The one he has when he hits a kill block, or a no-touch ace. 

You don’t think you could stand to take that from him.

“I’ve just been busy. With the party planning, and all,” you finish, meekly. You know he knows you’re lying. Still, Kenma doesn’t push.

“If you say so,” he hums, turning back to his computer. “It seemed like he missed you, though.”

You hate yourself for the small spark of want that blooms in your chest. 

Kuroo Tetsurou, in another life, could probably be yours. You’ve seen the way his ears turn red sometimes when you press a little too close, thighs close enough to be touching at one of the tables of your favorite izakaya. You know he knows your favorites the same way that he knows his own, know that in his head there’s a file of nothing but his knowledge about you, filled to bursting. You know that there are days, hours, moments where his touch lingers on your wrist, your cheek, the back of your arm – never long enough to presume, just long enough for you to notice.

In this life, you’ve seen the way he plays volleyball clearly enough to know that he loves it. That in terms of paths, this is probably the most natural one for him, as easy as breathing. That the world is so big and he deserves to go out and see it, that he’s growing up and some days you feel in your bones that he’s leaving you behind, in the same way that you’d left behind the yellow rubber rainboots you’d adored as a child, outgrown and overworn.

You busy yourself with party planning, so that at least everyone except Kuroo knows that you have a valid reason for ignoring him. Once the budgeting crisis is averted, things go surprisingly smoothly: money really does make the world go round, you think, in a rare moment of reflection between arguing with the caterer and double-checking that you have enough chairs in your apartment.

It’s good, to keep busy. Drowns out your heartbeat in your ears. He’s leaving, he’s leaving, he’s leaving. He’s leaving and you’re not gonna even ask him to stay.

The day of the party is bright and clear, because the universe loves Kuroo in the same way that you do. Bokuto – one of Kuroo’s teammates, and one of your favorites out of all of Kuroo’s teammates (although you’ve long maintained that it would be difficult for Bokuto not to be anyone’s favorite) – is tasked with distracting Kuroo for the day, then leading him to your apartment. This is a good plan because Bokuto is, himself, easily distractible, and Kuroo is, more often than not, perfectly willing to go along with Bokuto’s distractions. However, this is also a bad plan because Bokuto is, out of everyone you’ve invited, perhaps the second-most likely person to spoil the plans for the party. (The first being Lev Haiba, naturally.) To counterbalance that, you’ve asked Akaashi Keiji, one of your juniors, to go along – he has a natural talent for keeping Bokuto in check, more so than anyone you’ve ever met. But you’d feel bad, leaving Akaashi alone to deal with the two of them like that, so to ensure your plan had the greatest chance of success possible, you convince (read: bribed) Kenma to go along with the three of them. Odds are good that he won’t do much to curb Kuroo and Bokuto, but you’re willing to hope that his presence will keep Kuroo from doing something completely insane.

Back in your apartment, you’re adding the last finishing touches to the streamers hanging in the doorway. Yaku, next to you, squints at the streamers. “They’re a little crooked,” he says.

You bite back your immediate response, which is to tell him that if you had a stepladder tall enough that he could reach you’d gladly go get it for him so he could fix them himself. Instead, you ask, “How is it, over there, Yakkun?”

“In Russia?” he asks, and you nod. He pauses, considering. “It was rough, at first.”

“But you got through it,” you say, voice coming out a little more desperately than you’d like. “You like it there now.”

“Yeah,” he says. “It won’t ever be Japan, but I think I can make it home. And Kuroo’s always been able to land on his feet, wherever it goes. I don’t think you need to worry about him, even if he does decide to take the offer.”

“Of course he’s going to take the offer,” you say. “Why wouldn’t he –”

Your phone buzzes in your pocket. You take it out to read a text from Akaashi. Heading back, it says. Be there in three.

Hurriedly, you jam your phone back into your pocket. “Okay, everyone, places!” you call, watching with a critical eye as everyone tucks themselves away.

“Lev, that’s not gonna work. Hiding behind the lamp’s not gonna do much.”

“Idiot,” you hear someone – Yaku? – mutter, and you laugh a little despite yourself. Your phone buzzes again. In the elevator, you read, and hastily you dive underneath a table with one of Kuroo’s kouhai from high school – Fukunaga, you think – to hide yourself, just as you hear the sound of a key in a lock. 

“I just don’t understand why she’d ask you to take care of her plants,” Kuroo says as he steps through the door, sounding a little bemused. “I mean, I love you, bro, but I still haven’t forgotten what happened that one time –”

Three, two, one, you mouth silently, holding your fingers out where everyone can see them, then –

“Surprise!” you call out, stepping out of your hiding place. The others all scramble to follow, adding their own voices to the chorus.

It is, to your delight, one of the few times you’ve seen Kuroo properly surprised, enough that he actually staggers back a step, eyes wide. 

“What – how – when – what is this for?” he asks, directing his question to you, standing right in front of him.

“To say congratulations, Kuroo,” you reply. Suddenly your throat is a little dry. “On getting the offer.”

This time his eyes widen with realization – and maybe a little flash of guilt. He covers it quickly, though, and you’re left a little uncertain, like stepping on uneven ground. 

“So you didn’t actually ask Bokuto to take care of your plants,” he says instead, and you laugh. The sound is a little brittle in your ears.

“Of course not,” you say. “I haven’t forgotten that one time when he –”

“Did I mention we have cake?” Bokuto swoops in. “I picked out the flavor myself and everything. You gotta come see it. The lady at the store was so nice, though I don’t think she understand exactly what I was asking her to put on it at first –”

With a wry eye roll to you, Kuroo lets himself be dragged away. The rest of the partygoers take it as their sign to start mingling, and you let yourself fade into the chatter, becoming nothing more than background noise. It fits uncomfortably, now, where before it might have been a little more natural. Kuroo has always been good at creating space intentionally, whether it be for you or anyone else: a sly smirk for your eyes only, a joke directed towards you and you alone. It’s one of the reasons why you think everyone feels like they can fall into his orbit more effortlessly. 

Kenma appears by your side, unobtrusive as usual. “You should talk to him.”

“And say what?”

“Whatever you want.”

There is a want in your throat and it chokes you. I want you to stay. I know you should go. I’m terrified that I’ll never see you again, either way – if I made you stay and you resented it, if I let you leave and you loved it. 

“I’m worried that he’s getting bored here,” you say instead. “Like it’s not challenging him enough. Like he wants more.”

There are things that you’re willing to admit you can be slightly paranoid about: like putting too much of your heart on the table, like finding someone who loves all of you but the worst parts. Like loving someone and watching them start to resent you, like wanting to learn how to love in the right way but really only learning how to suffocate. And you know it’s possible that in this could be a combination of all those things, that rationally Kuroo knows better than anyone what’s his to keep and what’s his to give away. But you’ve known him for so long now, and there’s a part of you that likes to think you know him better than almost anyone in the world. It’s that part of you that insists you can see Kuroo Tetsurou getting tired, a little bit. He walks off the court with his head tilted back, eyes closed against the glaring lights on the gymnasium, far above. When he looms over the net, you think of it as less a state of being and more of a conscious action: a weary sigh. Another day at work. 

Kuroo Tetsurou, you think, is learning to want new things. To love new things. And that’s okay – that’s more than okay. There’s just a selfish part of you that wishes you could be there to see him through it. 

Kenma hasn’t said anything, staring at you patiently. You think you might throw up.

“I have to go,” you say, limp, and spin on your heel to slip out the back door. Somewhere behind you, Bokuto’s cheers rise above the din, followed by Kuroo’s cackling laugh. It makes your chest ache a little, but at the very least it provides you with some cover.

Your little apartment building stands at an intersection between two streets. Turn right and you’ll get to the park with the stray cats, the ones who’ve started coming around more frequently now that Kuroo has started showing up (now that Kuroo has started bringing them treats, although he denies it every time you bring it up.) Turn left and walk far enough and there’s a little embankment that slopes down to a river. Sometimes in the mornings joggers will pass through the area, but in the dead of the night like it is now the grassy slope is deserted. You sink down onto it, ignoring the way the cold sinks into your skin.

Part of you wants to cry. Most of you is glad you aren’t: can’t, maybe, or won’t. 

You tell yourself the grand lesson in this is that you have to be better at letting go. That there is a lot that your hands could hold – a lot that your hands could want to hold, given the time. Given the opportunity – but not all of it is meant to be held by you. That there is a whole world out there and tonight it feels like it’s slipping through your fingers.

Perhaps the grand lesson is just this: that loss exists. That wanting perseveres.

“Hey,” a voice says from behind you. You know without turning who it is, fingers tightening in the grass.

“Hey,” you say back.

“Can I sit?”

You wave a hand listlessly at the space beside you. “There’s space available.”

He settles in next to you, close enough that your thighs could brush if you were a little more careless, if you hadn’t been holding yourself strung tight and stiff.

“Why aren’t you in there?” you ask finally, when it becomes clear that he has no intention of saying anything, that he’s planning on waiting until you start first. “It’s your party.”

“Why aren’t you in there?” he counters. “You planned it.”

“It was a little loud,” you offer. “Was getting a little sleepy.”

“You weren’t there anymore,” he says. “Kenma said he saw you heading out.”

The words stick in the hollow of your throat, between your collarbones. You can feel them lodged there. “Kuroo,” you say, careful to not let your voice shake, “you can’t say things like that.”

There’s a hand on your knee, long fingers and broad palms spreading over your skin easily. His hand is warm. You direct your gaze down to it. His hand is big enough that it nearly covers your knee.

“Why not?”

“It’s not fair,” you say. “I know you’re not that stupid, Kuroo. You can’t go saying things like that when you’re about to leave.”

He says your name, sharp and soft.

“And of course I’m happy you’re going. I know you’re not happy – not as happy here as you could be. I know it’s an incredible opportunity. I know you deserve it, and you deserve every incredible thing that comes your way. Or at least – I want to be happy for you, Kuroo. I want to be able to give you that much, at least.”

He says your name again. It sounds fond enough that you gain the courage to look up at him. He’s looking right at you. The hand on your knee reaches for your jaw, instead, cradling it tenderly.

“I think I’m gonna stay,” he says. “And I’m sorry for not telling you about the offer earlier. I just – I didn’t want you to think I was leaving. I wasn’t even sure if I was, at first. But then I kept coming back to it – the fact that I didn’t want you to think I was leaving. Not at all, not even a possibility. It made me realize that – well. Russia would be incredible. But I think – I know – I would rather stay.”

The words take a moment to sort themselves out in your brain. Then:

“Kuroo, you can’t,” you choke out. “This is your dream.”

“It was,” he says. “For the longest time, it was. And I thought it was something I had to keep loving. Something that I had to pursue. Like I would be doing a disservice to the me I was when I was little, if I decided I didn’t want to follow the path I’ve wanted since I first started playing volleyball.”

You say nothing. There is a sun rising in your throat. You are afraid to let it go.

“But you know,” he says, thoughtful, “I think there is a difference between loving something and being in love with something.”

“Yeah?” you say. He reaches for your hand, flipping it over from where it rests in the grass so that your palm is facing upward. Slots his fingers through the gaps between your own.

“Yeah,” he says, squeezing once, twice, three times. “Like – I love volleyball, you know.”

“I know,” you say, because you do.

“But I’m in love with it here. With Japan. With the connections I’ve made, with the people who keep me here.”

“I’m glad,” you say, because you are, selfishly so.

“And,” he says, hesitant in a way that you’ve only ever seen once before, back when he was just the boy with the awful laugh and the ugly hair and who kept getting you coffee and getting it wrong, “I’m in love with you.”

And the sun, blooming over the horizon.

THE MOMENT I KNEW

Ever since becoming Kuroo Tetsurou's girlfriend you knew what to expect. You understood how much he was working to provide for you and the life you two wanted. Most people would give up on a relationship like yours but you loved him and he loved you. 

It wasn't uncommon for him to show up late to dates. He would apologize over and over with a bouquet of flowers in hand and that smile that always says I'm right here. It made you smile and forgive him because you knew what you got into.

"He said he would be here," you thought, sighing and took a sip of your drink. 

You looked up at yourself in the mirror. The shade of red on your lips matched with your dress perfectly. You looked out at the sea of friends and family that were laughing and having a good time. You knew should join them but there was that one thing missing.

It was a couple hours later mingling with the guests and you just felt you couldn't do it anymore. You wanted to be alone and cry yourself to sleep. Feeling the tears at the corner of your eyes you walked down the hall.

You entered the bathroom and the door shuts. You turn to see Kenma and Bokuto standing in the bathroom with you. They probably knew something was up and followed you in here. You gripped the counter tight as you hung your head.

"Y/n? You alright?" Kenma asked.

You shook your head. You weren't okay because he isn't here yet. "He said he would be here," you said hopelessly.

As soon as the words came out of your mouth you started to cry and slid onto the bathroom floor. Bokuto and Kenma both rushed to your side to comfort you.

"He will be here. I know he's late but he will be here. He loves you and wouldn't miss this," Bokuto said.

You shook your head again and through shaky breaths you spoke.

"It's like everything is in slow motion for me. I bought this dress and put his favorite color on my lips and no one was impressed by it. They are all having a good time and asking about Tetsu and I have to keep lying for him."

You cry harder into Kenma's chest while Bokuto rubs your back. They knew how much this meant to you and he did promise to make it but they knew and you knew it too. He wasn't going to show.

Bokuto asked everyone to leave since it was getting late and you were tired. You fixed your makeup and saw off the guests including Bokuto and Kenma.

Standing alone in your apartment you look around and the gifts and garbage that littered the floor. You ignored all of it to take off your dress and wash away the day. Stepping out of the shower you hear the phone ringing. You knew exactly who it was.

"Hello?"

"Hey baby. I'm on my way."

"Don't bother," you said.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you know how humiliating it was to have tears streaming down my face in front of everyone I knew because the one person I actually cared about coming to my birthday didn't show up?"

"I'm sorry I didn't make it," he said.

"Yeah. I'm sorry too. Goodbye Kuroo," you said and hug up the phone.

You put up with a lot with being his girlfriend. The long hours, missing dates, last minute business trips. But this was the moment you knew that you and Kuroo wouldn't last.