I Am Literally Crying Of Laughter At My Desk - Blog Posts

The Bad Batch "loopy" on anesthesia head canons

I saw this article on Bored Panda, (It's a really cool site that I go to to kill boredom) talking about what patients said while being floaty on anesthesia and it led me to this catastrophe.

<I'm sorry if any or all of this seems out of character>

Wrecker

He's a big guy so the medical staff have to use three to four times the standard anesthetic to put him under.

There were about twenty medical staff trying to hold him down.

as they are putting him under he keeps muttering that Crosshair promised him mantell mix.

(he didn't but Hunter makes him get it anyway)

When Wrecker wakes up, he wakes up violently and says "sorry, I thought I was a Krayt Dragon"

Wrestles with five medics and a Kaminoan

Begs Hunter to let him keep the Kaminoan's head as a trophy

Hunter wants to say yes but says no instead

Wrecker starts crying and only stops when Crosshair shows up with "promised" mantell Mix

Wrecker later admits that he actually, consciously scammed Crosshair.

Crosshair chases Wrecker while Wrecker runs around laughing.

Wakes up from the anesthesia on the Marauder's roof.

Tech

"you may experience profound disorientation upon awakening." the doctor tells him

As the medics are putting him under he mutters "you better not try anything, I know where you work." right before passing out.

As he woke up, he opened one eye and looked around "I wouldn't call this PROFOUND." Then he started crying and then passed out

When he wakes up again he hears Hunter talking to the surgeon and screams "YOU CAN'T KEEP ME AWAY, MY DEAD PEOPLE NEED ME- where's my datapad?" ~ passes out

Talks to himself. Interrupts self while talking to self. Gets into argument with self. No longer speaking to self.

"My bones feel wet, may I have a napkin?"

Claims the doctors stole his nose. (Crosshair pretended to)

Argues with the doctor about quantum physics, ends up getting really mad and breaks a datapad over his head.

"Which one of these charges my brain??" ~ loopy Tech holding up an IV

Glares at Hunter "Why did you eat the Marauder?????" ~ passes out

Slaps Crosshair with his goggles

Then say that Hunter looks like cheese before passing out again.

Wakes up from the anesthesia sitting in the Marauder's pilot seat with the rest of the Batch in a heap in the back of the ship and they're in space...

Hunter

Heightened senses mean they need to use less anesthesia on him

Starts crying as they put him under.

When he wakes up he starts mumbling incoherently

"I wannaa see picturess!!!!"

"Where's my knife??"

"It'd be cool to do knives. I wanna job about knives."

Tech tells him that they need to stay in medical for a little while longer. "Nooooooo wanna do KNIVEZZZZ!!" ~ crying

Wants to kiss the medical droid to Wrecker and Crosshair's amusement but Tech threatens them before they get into Hunter's reach.

Singing hysterically as somebody is screaming a few beds down

"HeLLo HuTeR" ~ "WHAT?! WHO ARE YOU?!" ~ *Wrecker giggling*

(Hunter scared himself with his own voice)

When he wakes up from anesthesia he accuses Tech, Wrecker and Crosshair of being liars because he doesn't remember what they said had happened.

Echo

They need to use even less anesthetic than did for Hunter

He almost gives a surgeon a concussion by hitting him with his scomp arm.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!!"

Almost attacks Nala Se (all the clone medics are laughing as this happens)

Echo wakes up singing "My life is a mess and I don't care!"

Crosshair is dying trying to contain laughter as Wrecker sings along

Tech tries to keep him focused by telling him to count to ten

"But I've only got half my fingers..." ~ crying

(Tech not saying a single word)

"Tech stop you're too much right now..."

"I wanna slap Dooku, I.. uh you- ya know WHAT?! I'm just gonna call himm COUNT DOOKEY!!!"

The whole ward erupts into laughter

Wakes up from the anesthesia to a laughter filled medical ward.

Crosshair passed out from laughter for the first time in his life that day. The rest of the bad batch was half dead.

Crosshair

He has such a high metabolism that they need to use twice the normal dose of anesthetic on him.

Tried to bite the anesthesiologist. THRICE

*cursing in mando'a* ~ passes out

Woke up and saw his brothers worried about him. "Kriff this" *goes back to sleep*

"They put wires all on my bones..."

He gets very mad about the beeping on the monitor.

"HEY!! I'M TALKING TO YOU!! WHAT'S WITH ALL THAT BEEPIN'?!?! SHUT UP!!!"

Starts singing to drown out the beeping.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIII SSAAAIIIIIIIIDDD SHUTT UUUUUUUUUUUPP!!!!" in song form.

When the doctors came and took the sensors off his chest, he claimed they stole his nipples... ~ crying

"PUT THEM BACK ON!!!"

"You are a glorified banana man" ~ to Hunter (he meant Bandana Man)

"Hey Cross! Can I use your rifle??" ~ Wrecker

"no no no noooooo you stay awaaaayy" ~ crosshair

Slaps Hunter for absolutely no reason.

"My nose iss drippy"

"My lips are numb"

"All they serve is pudding it tastes like butt."

Wakes up from the anesthesia hiding in the Marauder snuggling Lula

If you enjoyed these then feel free to request more with your favorite clones! 😅

The 501st here...