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At Night - Blog Posts
Guess who just got yelled at because they wouldn’t go out at 11pm to get flowers out of their dad’s van……….
Oh yeah, the old guardian who shines gleaming light upon us is so done with existing. The coldness that comes with millions of years of being...
Reorganization
Panic attacks at night
Swollen eyes, crusty lips
Fear of existence
Coating my red face in tears
Shivers shaking my body
I’m a loser
“Come here”
Sudden relaxation
My hand clinging to the pocket on the front of your hoodie
“It’s okay, don’t worry”
Forehead kisses
Careful strokes over my back
Calming my breath
“I’m sorry”
“For what?”
“Dragging you into this mess”
“I don’t mind your mess, I’m here to reorganize”
I realized that it got better when I finally found the courage to put my phone on silent over night for the first time
Not waiting for your usual 3am call anymore, like the ones I always got when we were still together
I’ll realize that I’m even better when I’ll get to sleep trough my first night without waking up, checking whether you called or not
I’m still proud of myself
One day, I’ll be able to be even prouder
~ excerpts of me moving on ~
